In the Dark
by Rointheta
Summary: Every time it happens they're either in the dark or where Rose can't see his face. The Doctor rarely speaks during it, and if he does it is in Gallifreyan. They never talk about it, either, and spend their days pretending as though nothing ever happened. It isn't until he leaves her on a spaceship that everything begins to fall apart.
1. Prologue

To say Rose was surprised by the way it all started would be an understatement. It wasn't how she'd imagined their first time. Not even close. During her travels with her first Doctor, she had always assumed that if it were to happen-and that was a big _if_ since he didn't seem to have any urges of that sort-it would be on one of those nightmare ridden nights when he sought comfort in her embrace. She supposed they would wake up entangled and then one thing would lead to another. She was wrong. When he regenerated there had never been anything between them other than chaste kisses on the cheek or forehead.

Her second Doctor emerged from a stream of golden light, smiling right off the bat, fooling her into thinking he was all sweetness. Unlike his former self, who wore his darkness proudly, this version concealed it behind warm, brown eyes and endless, bouncy energy. He beamed, showed off, flirted blatantly, and seemed to do anything she wanted. Her mum joked about Rose having him wrapped around her finger. For a while, she actually thought they might be on their way to... Well, she was wrong about that, too.

Rose didn't remember much about her brief stint as a golden goddess, but she knew the TARDIS had joined forces with her to save their Doctor. Her actions that day left the time ship damaged and they were stuck for several weeks at the Powell Estate after their crash landing. The Doctor did his best to repair his old ship and the TARDIS did her best to recuperate. Rose quickly realised this version of him was easily distracted, so she stayed with him inside the TARDIS instead of sleeping at her mum's. This way she could make sure he was eating, drinking and sleeping with some regularity. If he had his way, he would probably have tinkered himself into a healing coma. She also did her best to get him out of the TARDIS at least once a day, even if it only was for tea at her mum's or to pick up some milk. Surprisingly, it was easy getting him outside since he seemed to follow her around eagerly regardless of what she suggested. They went to the cinema; explored museums; tried each new chippy they stumbled upon; discovered a quaint little jam shop; visited her mum and Mickey, and so on.

Rose reckoned this was why it happened. They had been stranded on Earth for over a month and the Doctor was bouncing off the walls despite her best efforts. He'd not been that still for this long in quite some time and he was handling it poorly. The constant flirting and touching between them probably wasn't helping matters either. They held hands and hugged daily, and he always made sure he was seated next to her (really close too) and often ushered her forward by placing his hand at the small of her back. They patted each other possessively on the arm when chatting with others and, whilst their actions were always chaste, it felt anything but platonic.

She was surprised when it finally happened but, thinking back, maybe it wasn't so out of the blue after all. She thought about it every day for a whole week, wondering if it would happen again, but his touches were once again innocent, leaving her feeling increasingly frustrated. She chased relief every morning after dreaming about him all night, only to repeat the action when she went to bed alone after a long day by his side. She'd never been so constantly turned on in her life.

Ten days went by before it finally happened again and, each time thereafter, it was either in the dark or where she couldn't see his face. It was always with as few words as possible, mostly only in Gallifreyan, and they never talked about it during the day. Never. They spent their days pretending as though nothing ever happened. It wasn't until he left her on a spaceship that everything began to fall apart.


	2. A New Man - Part I

The Doctor should consider himself lucky for having such a pretty body this time around, but it feels more like a curse. It's responsive, has extraordinary senses and such a lust for life. He's brimming with energy and he wants to taste, feel, smell and know _everything_. Rose Marion Tyler is no exception, and he wants to experience her without all the chemical muck humans insist on coating all over their bodies. He wants to learn the real flavour of her by nibbling on her neck, licking the hollow of her throat, sucking on her tongue, and other things he ought not think about regarding his very young human companion.

He knew from the moment he regenerated that he needed Rose to accept him. She's been his one constant since the Time War and he couldn't bear to lose her as well. He wanted to prove he was the same man, but as he burst through the TARDIS' doors on the Sycorax ship he realised just how much he had changed. He opened his mouth and out came "am I sexy?" which made her blush and duck her head. When he saw her reaction, it tugged at something deep inside him, which was confusing. He knows he wants more of it, though. He wants to see her bewildered and flushed because of him. He wants to... Well, he wants to do things he shouldn't.

It isn't that he didn't feel affectionate towards her before his regeneration, because he certainly did, but his previous self was satisfied with only admiring her from a distance. Admittedly, he would rather have seen her alone than with someone other than himself despite knowing he would never touch her himself. He was also a little bit protective and possessive of her, and lost his temper upon occasion, but his self control over his body never faltered. During their travels, he often found himself in many intimate situations with Rose, but he never said or did anything inappropriate. Not even when he sought comfort in her embrace on those nights his slumber was plagued with images of the Time War. After a while, it became a habit which made it nearly impossible for him to fall asleep alone, but even as they woke up entangled he _never_ got so much as half hard. Not one single time.

His old self would have avoided domestics by repairing the TARDIS, but this new man is at Jackie's flat having Christmas dinner, paper crown on his head and everything, trying his best to make Rose Tyler laugh. It seems he was born with this need and barely gave himself a chance to acknowledge his new existence before he tried to coax a smile from his young companion. He has always preferred her happy, but this body is very receptive and every time the corners of her mouth curl upwards so do his.

His new taste buds long to explore and he's having great fun tasting everything in spite of Jackie's cooking. It's secondary as to whether he likes what he's eating or not since he's trying everything for the sake of discovery. He is putting on a great show, too, because Rose giggles every time he scrunches up his face and makes disgusted noises. She's an active participant in his little experiment and is even running out to the kitchen repeatedly to find him new things to try. He really enjoys watching her, taking note of the way her hips move, her breasts bounce and... No. He really shouldn't notice that in front of her mother or at all.

Rose let it slip she didn't quite view him as a man when they were in London during the Blitz. He's certain the reason was him not letting her see that side of himself and not her finding him unattractive. He let down his guard just a little to prove to her he was very much a man, with a heated look and a dance in the console room, and she responded. It was stupid of him, but he couldn't resist especially not when the Captain hovered in the background, ready to step up to the plate. After that, he resumed his monk-like stance to make her understand they would never be like that, but now...

It didn't take her long to decide he's still the Doctor, which is remarkable considering how impossible a concept regeneration is for humans, so maybe he shouldn't be surprised she has taken notice as to how different this body really is. She still looks at him mostly the same but there's something new in her eyes. They're standing outside, watching the not-snowfall, when he sees it the first time. It's a hooded, shy, yet very aware, look and it makes him feel all strange inside. Strange in a delicious and very, very bad sort of way.

They're both a little bit giddy as they walk back to the flat since they've made it clear they still want to travel together. Jackie and Mickey, on the other hand, were hoping Rose would leave him now that he's changed and they are looking rather morose. Maybe he should be insulted by it, but he feels triumphant instead. Rose has chosen him and he wants to rub it in Mickey's face, so he keeps talking about his new affinity for tasting things. Rose is still as interested as ever, but soon the others feel left out and he smiles smugly when Mickey the Idiot gives up and goes home. Shortly afterward, Jackie says goodnight as well and gives them a _look_, as if to warn them from doing anything unbecoming. He should snort at that, him being a Time Lord and all, but as he meets her piercing, blue gaze it feels like she can see straight through him and he wonders if Jackie isn't as oblivious as she appears to be.

Rose either doesn't notice or care, keeping her focus on him and chatting excitedly. She suggests they visit an ice cream parlour she knows that offers over one hundred flavours. It sounds like a marvellous idea, but he realises it's not so much because he wants to try the many different flavours. No. It's him wanting to see her licking samples off colourful plastic spoons, and that thought makes his eyes drift down to her lips. She licks them a lot. It's a nervous habit of hers and he should be used to it by now, but every time that tongue darts out he finds himself wanting to know what _she_ tastes like. He draws in a deep breath, picking out the notes that are Rose, but it's not enough. His previous self kissed her forehead and it tasted like human, sweat and cosmetics. He doesn't count kissing Bad Wolf since the taste of Rose Tyler was overpowered by the dusty flavour of time and golden energy. His eyes flits down to her mouth again and he swallows. It would be so easy to just...

"I wonder what I taste like," she says, too absentmindedly for it to be anything but a coincidence.

This is where he should leave well enough alone. Maybe shrug, make a joke or change the subject-he's rather good at that, after all-but this body... Oh, this body has a mind of its own. He knows her question is born out of normal human curiosity. He's travelled with her species long enough to know it's something all of them want to know. Some even want to know what human flesh tastes like, which is somewhat disturbing if you ask him. Disappointingly, her question isn't an invitation to lick any part of her whatsoever but, apparently, his body wants to disagree. He grabs her wrist impulsively, lifts it to his mouth and licks her human warm skin, then smacks his lips and tongue as he analyses the newly discovered flavours.

"Ack!" he says, tongue moving in and out of his mouth as if the movement alone would make the taste disappear. "Why didn't you tell me you were wearing perfume?!"

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to lick my arm?" she retorts, staring at him as if he were one console room short of a TARDIS which may not be too far from the truth.

"You wanted to know what you taste like! I was only trying to help," he huffs, and then he, ever the problem solver, continues, "Hold on. Are you wearing perfume anywhere else?"

"Uhm..." she says, looking a little nervous. "No...just a few drops on my wrists."

"Ah." He leans in and swipes his tongue from her collarbone to her jawline, definitely taking note of her sharp gasp and loving how it makes him feel deep down to his core. "Much better. That's pure Rose Tyler, that. Don't get why you lot always have to hide yourselves under all that artificial rubbish."

Rose shrugs and mumbles something, wiping his saliva from her skin with her sleeve. Her cheeks are a little flushed and he feels a jolt in his stomach watching her being affected by him. A part of him wants to repeat his action since he almost feels angry over her removing _his_ scent by wiping her neck. Another part feels pride because he's the reason her face is tinted pink and why she starts fiddling with her earring. There's yet another part of him, a part he so desperately is trying to quench, that wonders why he didn't suck on her skin until he left a mark.

"Well?" he says to stop himself from doing something stupid.

"Well, what?"

"Aren't you gonna ask me what you taste like? Wasn't that the whole point of the, er, thing?"

She shakes her head with a smile. "All right. What do I taste like, Doctor?"

"You taste like Rose Tyler!" he says, beaming. She does, obviously, but she also tastes like hormones, salt, background radiation, Christmas dinner, ash, strawberry body wash and him. This new him, that is. Just a little bit, but it's enough to make him feel strangely possessive of her. Well, he thinks strangely but he means unexpectedly or, well, that might not be the right word either, considering his previous self's inclination to scare off young men looking at her. Oh well, some things never change.

"You're so daft," she says, laughing at him and smacking him gently on the arm. "Can't believe you just licked my throat," she adds, almost under her breath, and it's impossible for him to pass up such an excellent opportunity to fluster her again.

"Weeeell," he drawls, "there are other parts of you where your flavour is more concentrated, but I reckon it wouldn't be very appropriate for me to lick you there, hm?"

He turns his attention to the telly, acting all aloof, but in his peripheral vision he sees her jaw drop and her cheeks turn crimson again, making him force down a smug snicker. It might have been more raunchy than flirty, but he knows she will dismiss it as him being alien and think no more of it. That is unless it becomes a common occurrence, which it very well might because he also knows he'll jump at the chance of saying something like that again and that properly scares him.

* * *

He tries his best to get her taste out of his mouth over the following week but it's in vain. Every time she's near him, he breathes her in and just like that his tongue tastes like Rose Tyler again. To be honest, it's a right nuisance because he can think of little else and starts plotting scenarios in his head where it would be appropriate for him to take another lick. He would never put these plans into action, mind. This is just a little kink with his new body that will eventually work itself out if given enough time.

He hopes his other little problem concerning his body's reaction to her will work itself out, too. He finds himself growing hard far too often when he's around Rose. He can will himself to soften quickly, and masturbation is most definitely beneath him, so he has yet to do anything about it. Of course, he has had sex before but that was only because he enjoys trying new things, and sometimes you need to try new things several times to really know your stance on the matter. It's not because he couldn't stop himself. He's not an _animal_. At least, that's what he tells himself every time thoughts of his companion enter his mind and he has to regulate his blood flow and hormone levels to prevent himself from doing something insane. He's _not_ an animal. He's a Time Lord. Time Lords do not succumb to carnal desires. He hasn't stroked himself since he mastered the art of controlling his own body _centuries_ ago and he's not going to start now!

New Year's Eve arrives and Rose decides on a quiet night in, making him almost sag in relief. Shareen wanted them to go out with her and Rose considered it for about a day before, thankfully, declining. Picturing Rose Tyler in a tight dress, writhing on a dance floor some place with him sitting in a dark corner like an old creep watching her... He won't even finish that thought. Instead, she's wearing denims and a top whilst sitting on her mother's sofa like they usually do. Unfortunately, that's enough for his imagination to run wild again. One can do quite a lot of things on a sofa, especially with someone who has a background in gymnastics...

Luckily, Jackie is in the flat with them and her mere presence acts as the greatest anaphrodisiac. If he only could find out a way to bottle it somehow and bring it with him once he and Rose leave in the TARDIS... Bringing Jackie herself is _not_ an option! Anyway, Mickey the Idiot was invited to their small New Year's Eve celebration, but he chose to go elsewhere, which didn't upset anyone at all-especially not Jackie, who shouted "More for me!" and held up a few bottles of something very cheap. The Doctor decides to drink only because he likes the way the sparkling wine feels in his mouth and lets his body metabolise the alcohol before he is affected. There's no way he'll risk getting intoxicated around Rose until he has his newfound libido under control. This body is still new and he has no reason to believe he won't be able to master it shortly.

Jackie, on the other hand, is well on her way to passing out even though it's barely ten in the evening. She doesn't want to be the only drunk in the room, so she's been egging Rose on which has made her rather tipsy. He finds he enjoys Rose when she's like this. She's very affectionate with him and, when they talk, she leans in just a little bit more than necessary and places her hand on his thigh. He doesn't mind one bit because she's wearing a top he can easily look down to get a glimpse of something he really shouldn't be thinking about, especially not when her hand is so very close to a certain part of him already twitching from the view.

The Doctor tries to keep his eyes on hers, but that's seems worse because he is fairly certain this body, eyes included, is terrible at hiding its reaction to her. He knows that she must notice, probably her mother, too, come to think of it, and that just won't do. So, every time he realises he's giving himself away, he uses his rudeness to shoot her down, or he throws her for a loop by saying something incredibly flirty only to joke it off. It's not a conscious tactic on his part, it's more like a reflex. Thus far, it's working rather well and he can tell she thinks he's being daft instead of realising just how entranced this body is by her.

It's closing in on midnight, and Jackie is already snoring in an armchair, whilst he and Rose are sitting on the sofa chatting with one another.

"D'you have any New Year's resolutions, Doctor?" she asks, eyes sparkling not only from the alcohol she's had but from his company.

"Well," he drawls, giving her a lopsided smile, "I might."

"What? You're not gonna tell me?" she says, as if they tell each other everything. Well, maybe she thinks they do. She can be rather naïve.

"Nope," he says, finishing off his glass of bubbly. He isn't likely to tell her about the only resolution he considers making. The do-not-seduce-Rose-Tyler-no-matter-how-tempting-sh e-is resolution. "How about you?"

"Oh, c'mon, tell me," she says, looking at him just so and licking her full lips.

"Oh, all right." He sighs and shakes his head. "I promise to eat more bananas."

She accepts his answer even though they both know it's a lie because she knows when to push and when to let something go. She bites her lip, looking a little coy, and says, "I'm gonna go for what I want more. Not settle, yeah? That's what I learned, travelling with you."

"Oh? I thought it was taking a stand and doing what's right," he teases.

"That too." She tilts her head down a little and looks up at him through her mascara heavy lashes. "Doctor? Will you, uhm..." Something changes in the way she holds herself, as if she decides that a cheeky approach is better than a heartfelt one. "So, there's this Earth tradition, yeah, where you kiss each other at midnight."

"Every night? Blimey! Must be a chapstick company's invention, that," he says, nodding. "Imagine all the dry lips if every human had to-"

"No, you daft alien," she interrupts, laughing and pushing him playfully. "On New Year's Eve. So...would you...?" She raises one eyebrow cockily and adds, "Or will you be too busy resonating concrete?"

"Do you want me to?" he asks, because she has caught him off guard and he needs to buy some time. Although, he can't say he's _that_ surprised by her asking, considering the way he's been acting lately. Maybe he should dial down on the flirting. Yes, he definitely should. If he will, though... Well, that's another question entirely.

"Well," she says, eyes flitting to the snoring lump that is Jackie Tyler, "s'not like I have a lot to choose from, is it? You're the only bloke here." She shrugs and worries her lip a little. "S'just a silly tradition," she mumbles.

"Of course I will," he tells her before he can stop himself, and she looks up at him with big, brown eyes full of anticipation. "Just not on your mouth," he continues, almost huskily, letting his eyes drift down her body whilst his tongue darts out to moisten his lips. He meets her gaze again and she's staring at him like he has just said the most scandalous thing. She's blushing and he can hear her single human heart beating faster in her chest, and there's a glint in her eyes making him feel more alive than ever. He quickly realises he has to break the mood somehow.

"Your forehead will do just fine," he says, grabbing the bottle to top off their glasses, so her face can fall without the added humiliation of him watching.

Later, when it's time, Rose wakes up her mother and kisses her gently on the cheek. He gets a hug.

* * *

They've been stranded for two weeks now. He works on repairs every day, but there's only so much he can do. The TARDIS is partially organic and she needs time to heal. According to his estimation, it will take a couple more weeks before they are up and running at full capacity again. He's had to shut off the power in every room except the galley, library and their respective bedrooms and ensuites. Today, he was lying under the console doing repairs and feeling a bit unfocused without really understanding why, whilst Rose was sitting on the jump seat keeping him company as per their usual. Suddenly she jumped off the seat, pulled him up to a standing position, and told him they were going to a museum. He followed her because... Well, he does that now, doesn't he? It turns out that was exactly what he needed, not the following her around bit, although, that was nice, too, but seeing something other than cables, wires and circuits.

"How do you do that?" he asks her when they're back home again.

"Wha'?" Rose says, and plops down on the sofa in the library.

"Know what I need. How did you know I needed to go out for a while? Not even I knew that," he says.

"Dunno," she says, shrugging. "S'just... You burn your fingers more often, drop your tools, swear a lot more-'cause that's what you do, right? When all I hear is Gallifreyan."

"Yep," he says, because it's sort of true.

She kicks off her shoes and starts rubbing her feet, sighing. His previous self did that for her once or twice-well, all right, it was more like seven-and he'd like to try these new hands at it. He has long, sensitive fingers made to caress and fondle, but he's afraid of them straying. He imagines them running up her calves, tickling her knees, stroking the smooth skin of her thighs all the way up until he reaches her wet heat and... No. He has to stop thinking like that, so he resists temptation and refrains from offering.

"Okay, s'like this, yeah?" she says, and proceeds to explain to him how his behaviour tells her what she needs to know. He is compliant if he is tired; he's ruder than usual if he is hungry; and he is easily distracted if he needs to get out. All she has to do is pull him up from under the console and watch how he reacts to decide what he needs.

He watches her carefully as she speaks, noticing how she still doesn't seem to realise just how brilliant she is. He doesn't quite like that.

"You've figured that out already?" he says, making sure to show how impressed he is.

"Yeah. Spend all my time with you, don't I?" she says, grinning at him.

Yes, she definitely does. She could use this time to hang out with Mickey, Shareen, her mother and other friends, but she chooses to stay with him most of the time. The thing is, she's not really helping. No, wait. She does, of course she does, but at the same time she is slowly making him lose his mind. She's always there tempting him with everything she does, how she smells and the way her skin feels under his touch. They had little concept of personal space before and now it's even worse. It's not conscious on his part, though. His body moves before he's even aware of what's happening and then he just...well, he stays put. He can tell Jackie is beginning to notice, but not even that is motivation enough to stop himself. It's mostly his previous self's fault for pushing the boundaries, but he never thought this would be an issue since he still had his Time Lord control. This body must be deficient somehow.

"Something wrong with my feet, Doctor?" she asks, wiggling her toes at him, and he realises he's been staring.

"Oh, sorry. Was thinking about TARDIS repairs," he says, using his standard excuse.

Rose knits her brows and puts a hand on his upper arm, stroking him comfortingly. "How is she?"

"Eer, she's-she's getting better."

"M'sorry, wish I could help."

"You do," he says softly. "You're always making sure we don't get bored, don't you?"

"Yeah... Speaking of," she says, shifting so she's sitting criss-cross, smiling mischievously. "You know Bev, yeah? Her daughter works in catering and there's this really posh wedding on Saturday. We should crash it."

"What?" he says, laughing.

"Well, I was thinking we should dress up and then I bet you 5 quid I'll be able to convince the bride we're related faster than you can convince the groom you're related to him," she says, grinning and waggling her eyebrows. "S'white tie. Can you get to the wardrobe room?"

"Hm... Yeah, think so. Will be dark, mind you, but I think I can find appropriate attire for us."

"Oooh, I get to see you dressed up," she says, tilting her head and smiling. She runs that lovely, little tongue of hers over her teeth, looking at him appraisingly, hand still on his arm. "Does this body dance?"

"Sorry?" he says with a cough, mind already in the gutter.

"Well, I could tell your old body didn't really have the moves," she says, chuckling.

"Sorry, _what_?" he squeaks, feeling more than a little offended. He knows without a doubt his previous self would've been a proficient lover had he ever been inclined to try it, just as he knows this body would be. Yes, it has been a while, but he has _extensive_ theoretical knowledge and he has never had trouble putting anything into practice in his life! Well, not much anyway.

"S'not that I didn't like it. It was fun! But you really did have two left feet, Doctor."

"Ooooh, you mean daaaancing," he says, laughing breathily.

"Yeah, what else would I... Oooh." She starts giggling, poking her tongue out at him. "No, yeah, I meant proper dancing. Not _dancing_. Although..." she says, looking far too innocent for whatever she's about to say. "Is that something that changes from body to body?"

"Yes. Wait. Which type of dancing are we talking about now?" he says, knowing he really should change the subject.

She leans in closer and he can feel her right breast pressing against his arm. "_Dancing_," she whispers in his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"Eeer," he says, tugging at his other ear. "Well, yes, it changes."

"How so?"

"Ehm... Well, the, er..." He straightens his back, clearing his throat. "My species is not very unlike humans in that regard. I am, however, a Time Lord and Time Lords-"

"Yeah, yeah. You're above all that. You're not a randy ape. I remember your fights with Jack."

"Discussions," he corrects her, looking sternly at her over the rim of his glasses.

"Yeah, all right, Doctor," she says, smiling sweetly. "So...?"

"So?"

"Yeah..." she says, motioning him to go on by waving her hand. "You said it changes."

"Ah. Yes, I did, didn't I," he says, scratching his chin. "Weeell, some of my incarnations have been more inclined to explore that particular aspect of their personalities."

"So _some_ of the old yous have been randy apes," she concludes, pressing her lips together to suppress a grin.

"Not quite," he huffs.

She regards him for a moment and it actually appears as though she is going to ask him if this body has a libido but, thankfully, she leans back and begins to rub her feet again. This is not a conversation he should be having. If she knew all of his bodies have a libido and it's more of a question about having enough willpower, he's sure she'd be all over him in a heartbeat. He is rather fit this time around and he does flirt.

Oh, he misses his previous bodies and their knack for abstinence. That was the only reason he would let her comfort him at night. He knew, without a doubt, his resolve wouldn't falter, but now... This body is making it increasingly difficult to stay away from Rose. Maybe it's the situation they're in, this forced domesticity? This may prove to be a temporary insanity as soon as they are back to travelling again. Yes, that must be it. There are only a couple of weeks left and, surely, he can control himself. He knows he can do this.


	3. A New Man - Part II

The Doctor grabbed the first dress he could find after entering the very dark wardrobe and fumbling his way to the section where the TARDIS keeps formal wear in Rose's size. Big mistake. It clings to her torso like a second skin and leaves her back and shoulders bare. Her hair is up, too, showing off her neck quite nicely. Her mother helped her do some sort of fancy chignon-or whatever it is called. It wasn't really what he was focusing on at the time. It's not really what he's focusing on right now either. No, right now he is trying very hard to stop himself from doing something he'll regret.

The Doctor mingled his way to the groom and it only took him fifteen minutes to convince the fellow they were related. Yes, he _is_ that impressive. All he wants to do now is wow Rose with how he even made the groom remember some of their days together at uncle Paul's summer house growing up. He's sure he could even convince uncle Paul himself, had he not been in China on business. Rose will laugh, her eyes will shine and he'll probably get a hug. He can't tell her, though, because Rose is busy dancing with someone tall, considerably older and, well, pretty. As far as he knows, she's not even tried talking to the bride yet. No, ever since they used the psychic paper to get into the reception that man has had his eye on her.

The Doctor didn't notice at first since he was trying to win the bet which would once again prove his brilliance . He's noticing now, though. Yes. He is definitely noticing how that man's hand is at Rose's waist, how her hand rests comfortably on his shoulder and how he says, most likely daft, things to make her giggle. Why is she giggling at him? Surely, that man can't be as funny as he is? Thankfully, she doesn't smile in that special, tongue touched way of hers, but it doesn't comfort him as much as it should. She's still in the arms of someone pretty and that leaves him feeling the very opposite of calm. She's probably just having fun, though, isn't she? Dancing doesn't mean you want to, well, _dance_ with the person. No need to make a scene, especially not when he has no right to make one.

The man reaches out and brushes a few wayward strands of hair from Rose's face and the Doctor clenches his fists. Why did he agree to this? Even an idiot would've known it's a recipe for disaster considering this new, impulsive and irrational body of his. Oh, who is he kidding? He's never been good at thinking things through, has he? No wonder he goes through regenerations like Jackie Tyler goes through men.

The man says something and Rose's reaction makes the Doctor's stomach churn. She ducks her head and blushes in a way that must make the man believe he is successful in his efforts to charm her. It certainly makes the Doctor believe it, anyway. Would she really...? No, she wouldn't, would she? He has dropped her off at home for a couple of days on occasion and he realises he has no idea what she's been up to during those times. Does she go through men like her mother? Even though Mickey has hung around, the Doctor is fairly sure they haven't actually been intimate in a very long time and she never brings anyone home to the TARDIS. Humans _are_ very sexual creatures. Does she take care of her needs in the privacy of her own bedroom or does she find pretty human men and... No! It's none of his business what she does. Rose is off bounds and he really should just stay away, so she can enjoy her youth and have fun, which she is clearly doing now. This man definitely knows what he's doing, leading her around the dance floor, twirling and swaying and...dipping? _Dipping_?! Now, wait a minute!

"Hello," he hears himself say. Oh, bloody hell. His body has managed to walk all across the room on its own accord. It has even tapped the man on the shoulder.

"Hello," Rose says as the man helps her stand up straight again. Her eyes are bright and her face is flushed in that lovely shade of pink he's come to enjoy so much, but this time it's not because of him and he has to force his lips not to snarl.

"Would you mind terribly if I took over?" he asks Rose's dance partner politely. He even manages to smile. Well, it's a rather stale one but at least he _is_ smiling.

"Yes. Yes, I would mind very much," the man says, tightening his grip around Rose's waist.

The Doctor swallows, saying through gritted teeth, "I suggest you don't."

The man smirks. "And I suggest the lady can choose for herself, which she already has since she's currently in my arms."

"Is she?" The Doctor lets his polite mask drop completely, letting a glimmer of the monster he truly is show and it's enough for the other man to recoil.

"_The lady's_ not gonna dance with either of you idiots if you keep this up," Rose says, giving them each a pointed look neither of them really notice.

"Uhm, s-sorry," the man stutters, excusing himself with a curt nod as he walks away quickly.

The Doctor is all smiles again and swoops in, wrapping his arm around his prize and taking her hand in his, unable to keep a smug grin off his face.

"What was that all about, then?" she asks, not looking very pleased.

"I was saving you from that boring, old sod."

She rolls her eyes. "He wasn't boring and you are _much_ older." He harrumphs. "And he was a good dancer," she points out. "S'not like I get a chance to dance very often, is it?"

"We're dancing right now!"

She blinks at him a few times, eyebrows raised. "We're standing completely still, Doctor. S'just fancy hugging, if you ask me."

He clears his throat. "I see. Let's remedy that, shall we?"

Oh, he really should not be doing this. He has absolutely no idea if this body can even dance and, with Rose pressed up against him as he moves her across the dance floor, he's afraid he will lose control. It's been almost three weeks now, and besides TARDIS repairs-which he actually does think about at times-there's not much else occupying his mind aside from her. Even his nightmares about the Time War have changed into feverish dreams about a very naked Rose Tyler writhing underneath him.

It has become so bad he's decided to forgo sleep until they start travelling again. He can't afford to because every morning he's so hard he has to take long, cold showers, thinking of the most vile creatures in creation, to soften. During the day, he keeps getting flashbacks whenever she does something that reminds him of his dreams. The other week, he dreamt he took her on the kitchen counter in her mum's flat, so when Rose jumped up and sat there during their visit his stupid body reacted with a mind of its own. He positioned himself in front of her, putting his hands on her thighs as she chatted about something inane, and was just about to lean in closer when Jackie walked in. He doesn't even want to know what would've happened had she not, but he knows Rose would've been up for it. Her breath hitched, she licked her lips and her eyes sparkled as she suspected what he was about to do.

Forcing himself to stop thinking about it, he catches the eye of the man, who's now standing on the other side of the room watching them. The Doctor sneers at him, dipping Rose by cradling her back with one arm and steadying her by holding her hand. It's eerily reminiscent of the time he made sure Rose didn't dance with Jack. The other man even has blue eyes and a disarming smile. Unlike that time, however, the Doctor lets go of her hand to allow his to ghost over her arm until it reaches her body. His fingers graze the side of her breast and the curve of her waist as his hand travels down her side. When he reaches her thigh, his fingers curl around it a bit firmer than necessary as he lifts her leg up, bent by the knee, to rest against his hip.

He brings her up and pushes her close to him by pressing his hand against the small of her back. Her heels make her tall enough for her human warm breath to hit his chin, making him forget how to breathe altogether. Her breasts are crushed against his chest and he feels her heart racing as his hand drifts lower on her back until he reaches the swell of her bum. He's not touching her there but it's oh so close. Her big, brown eyes are full of questions he should never answer.

It started as instinct but he cannot, _must not_, finish this. He's the killer of his own kind and should not sully this beautiful, young human woman. She has already destroyed an entire race because of him. Drawing her into his orbit, making her hard and weary like him... How could he ever? It doesn't matter that this body craves her, he would break her spirit, crush her golden heart and leave her dishevelled. There's a special kind of place in hell for men like him.

"Doctor?" she whispers, eyes still searching his, and she is so, so close. Her lips, pink, full and soft, are inches from his and he...

By some sort of divine intervention, he feels a firm hand on his shoulder, hears a 'you should come with us, sir,' and realises they've been caught.

"Run," he says, grinning and pulling her with him.

They make their way through the ballroom, down the stairs and out into the night, roaring with laughter and holding each other's hands. It's been too long since they've done this and it feels amazing to stretch his legs in long leaps.

Two blocks later, Rose's heel gets caught in some grating and snaps, so she takes off her shoes and runs barefoot even though it's January. She should be cold, it's no more than ten degrees, but her smile stays radiant and she doesn't seem to mind the hard pavement under her feet. She's used to this, he supposes. They've run together in all kinds of conditions and she never, ever complains. She's quite something, isn't she, this pink and yellow woman.

As always, he's the faster one and runs a few steps in front of her, still holding her hand and repeatedly looking back at her, beaming. After another block, her chignon falls apart and her locks flow behind her, making his breath hitch from the sight. Completely entranced by her, he stumbles over his own feet as he's turned halfway around and falls down on his back, accidentally pulling her with him. She lands on top of him with an_oomph_ and his arms encircle her waist reflexively, holding her in place. She's still laughing, making her wiggle deliciously on top of him, and he uses all of his willpower not to flip her over and ravish her right then and there on a chilly, London street.

"What?" she asks breathily, eyes sparkling.

Oh. He's doing it again, isn't he? Looking at her like he's awestruck by her.

"You're rather heavy," he says, cocking an eyebrow and pinching the side of her stomach. "Must've gained a little over Christmas, hm?"

She scrambles off him faster than should be humanly possible and shoots him a dirty look. "S'pose I have," she mumbles, smoothing out her dress. "Always do over Christmas."

"Good thing we're running, then!" he says, taking her hand and pulling her with him.

They jog to the bus stop and then travel back home in silence. She doesn't ask about the bet and declines his offer to borrow his tailcoat even though she's clearly cold. When they get to the TARDIS, she goes straight to the galley, gets a tub of ice cream and a spoon and sits down at the table. She makes a point of letting him know just how much she's enjoying her treat as she eats it. She moans, licks her lips and, using her swift, pink tongue, catches droplets almost falling of the spoon-all the time glaring at him as if she's daring him to say something. He can't think of a time she's been more attractive.

Yes, he _has_ noticed her gaining a little, which isn't surprising since they haven't led the same lifestyle. Lately, there have been more chips and less running. He didn't think she cared about that, though. She's not asked him if she looks fat in any of her garments, and he knows it's a common question amongst human females insecure about their weight. She's not insecure, is she? He's absolutely not bothered by it despite what he might have led her to believe earlier. It's more the other way around, actually. Her breasts and her bum are rounder, so how could that be a bad thing?

"Wha'?" she says, dropping the spoon and her jaw simultaneously.

"What?" he parrots, in a rather squeaky voice.

"You just said that-that..." she trails off, swallowing.

Did he say that _out loud_? His eyes grow wide with panic, eyebrows flying heavenward. "Weeeell," he says, tugging at his collar. "That's what Earth blokes like, right? A little cushion for the pushin'."

She stares incredulously at him for a second, but then she laughs so hard she's crying, making her breasts bounce up and down in a very distracting manner. Her laughter is so infectious he can't help but join in. When they're still at it minutes later they lean against each other for support and he sucks in big gulps of air filled with her scent between guffaws.

"God, you're so daft," she says against his neck, giving him goosebumps, but then she sits up straight, wiping her face. "I'm going to bed. Night, Doctor."

She gives him a little peck on the cheek and heads for her room, leaving him feeling things he shouldn't.

* * *

He climbs out from under the grating, rolling his shoulder and wincing a little at the cracking noises. Yesterday, he noticed there weren't many repairs left to do, so he pulled an allnighter instead of being smart and portioning them out so he would have something to do every day. There will always be some sort of tinkering to do because that particular aspect of TARDIS maintenance will never be finished, but nothing that could further things along. It's nothing but a waiting game now, and he estimates they still have about a week or so left.

It's already been four weeks since they crash landed at the Powell Estate and he's been following her around and invading her personal space any chance he gets. Like now, for instance. He should shower, get something to eat and drink or at least change his clothes, but his feet think it best to walk to the library. That's where his young companion is, see. The reason behind his behaviour is obviously cabin fever and probably some confused domesticity syndrome, brought upon him by his involuntary stay on Earth.

He plops down on the sofa beside her with a heavy sigh. "Repairs are basically done. Just waiting for the TARDIS now..." He rubs his neck and rolls his shoulders again.

Rose turns his head to face her by placing her index finger under his chin, giving him a lookover. "Doctor," she says, shaking her head, "when's the last time you slept?"

"Eeeer," he says, swallowing loudly, "must've been the other day."

"Nope. These," she says, pointing at the dark circles under his eyes, "tell me it's been longer than that."

"I'm just tired 'cause I spent all night working on the TARDIS."

"Are you having nightmares again?" she says, seeing straight through him as always.

"Yes," he says, because in a way that's just what his erotic dreams about her are.

Knitting her brows she says, "Then why haven't you..." Her face falls, but she schools her features quickly, smiling at him. "C'mere. You look like you need a backrub. Maybe that will make you feel better, yeah?"

"Rose, I don't know..."

"Don't be silly," she says, pulling off his suit jacket. "I'm really good at it."

Ten minutes later he's in heaven, wondering why in the name of everything that ever existed he's never let her do this before. She's not 'really good', she's _brilliant_ at it.

"S'good?" she asks and he makes a garbled, pleased noise in the back of his throat, making her giggle. "Told ya!"

He really wants to know what this would feel like without the three layers of cotton separating his skin from her hands, but he's still sensible enough not to do something about it. Why is his body like this? It's the most human vessel he's ever had and, boy, is that a disgusting thought. It's one thing to travel with them, to care for them, but another thing entirely to _be_ one.

"Maybe I've been around you lot for too long," he muses out loud.

She stops her ministrations. "What?"

"Eeer. No, I meant, maybe I've been on Earth-stranded, that is, here on Earth, right now-for too long. That's why I'm having trouble sleeping. Prefer being on the move, remember? Could drive a lesser man to his end..." He sighs heavily.

"Oh... Uhm..." He hears her swallow. "Well, can't be too long now, though, can it?"

"Nah, a week or so," he says, and then she does something spectacular along his spine and he melts into a puddle of bliss. He hears her say something about _good_ and _Shareen_ and _pub_, but he's too busy enjoying what she's doing to understand what's she's said.

* * *

A couple of days later he's sitting on the jump seat, twirling his sonic between his fingers and thinking about some new settings he could make, when Rose emerges, all dressed up. Well, dressed up might be exaggerating it slightly, but she does have a skirt and knee-high boots on, which is out of the ordinary.

"Where are we going?" he asks.

"_We're_ not going anywhere, Doctor," she says, smiling at his presumption. "I'm going to the pub with Shareen, Mickey and the others. It's her birthday, remember? I told you the other day when I gave you that backrub."

"Ah. Yes. I remember," he lies. "I'm not invited?"

"Uhm, yeah, 'course you are. Just assumed you wouldn't wanna... You didn't really seem..." she trails off, shrugging.

"Weeell," he says, scratching his ear, "might not be my favourite pastime, but it beats staring into the powered down time rotor or watching bad telly with Jackie, which are my other two options."

She grins. "Maybe you shouldn't tell Shareen that."

"Too rude?"

"Just a little bit, yeah."

"Do I need a gift?" he asks, proud he thought of that at all.

"Nah, just buy her a fruity drink or three and she'll be alright."

"Well then, Rose Tyler," he says, holding out his hand. "Let's go!"

He knows a small booth, alcohol and Rose is a dangerous combination, yet he sits there good-naturedly, sipping on his second beer. Not that he's drunk. It takes more than a couple, or even twenty, beers to get a Time Lord the slightest bit inebriated. It's the setting, and the fact that Rose is a little tipsy and, therefore, a lot more physical that's rather nefarious. It's so dark and, well, _intimate_, ergo more threatening to him than most hostile aliens out there in the vastness of time and space.

The company isn't very interesting at first, but then someone asks how he and Rose met and he gives a modified version of the night with the Autons. He must change anecdotes from his life into something sounding at least somewhat normal, which presents him with a rather fun challenge. It takes him little time and less effort to monopolise the conversation by telling them fun and outrageous stories from his travels with his pink and yellow companion. The woman in question plays her part perfectly by filling out the blanks and helping him with details. She transforms The Mighty Jagrafess into big studio boss Mike Jagger-complete with a tailored suit, bald head and fat cigars-and even makes up some story about him being angry with people confusing him with Mick.

He can't help but look at her proudly for being so bright and quick at thinking on her feet. He knows she will one day leave him when her biological clock is ticking or when the thrill of running for her life won't make up for the lack of real human connection. He is certain she'll live a fantastic life when that day finally comes. He's shown her so much pain and misery in their travels, and he has even shared some of his inner demons with her, but she still continues to keep sight of who she is instead of allowing herself to become detached by what she's experienced. He doesn't understand, not even with his magnificent Time Lord mind, how she's able to light up the darkness within him instead of being devoured by it.

His arm is around her shoulder, pressing her close to him. It _is_ crammed in the booth after all. He's just making sure there's room for everyone. She pats him fondly on the chest when he says something she finds rude or stupid, which seems to be rather often, and he finds himself liking it. The young men and women at their table keep roaring with laughter and he finds he quite likes that, too. Not as an everyday occurrence, mind, but since it's just this once and he knows the TARDIS is healing, he can enjoy it for what it is.

As the night progresses, lines start to become blurry between them. Rose's pats on his chest slowly become pats on his knee and thigh, and his arm gradually slides down from her shoulders to her waist where his hand finds the hem of her top, dipping under it. His fingers trace words in circular Gallifreyan absentmindedly on her skin and he feels her getting goosebumps-another one of her bodily reactions of which he loves being the cause. As always, she laughs a lot and she's the most radiant person in the whole room. Others notice too, and he casts warning glares at any man looking at her twice. Well, once, to be completely honest. He's a rather vigil person. His conscience tries to tell him he has no right, but he takes another gulp of beer, washing down the guilt he's feeling over him preventing this young woman from living the life she should.

They leave shortly after two in the morning, walking home huddled together to stave off the chilly air. Not that it affects him, but his arm fits so perfectly around her waist so it just stays there. Besides, what kind of friend would he be if he let her be cold?

She hugs him a little bit longer than necessary when he bids her good night outside her bedroom door. Underneath the smell of beer, smoke and too sweet perfume, he senses that wonderful human Rose scent and he smacks his tongue discreetly, hoping to catch some of the particles with his taste buds. Before releasing him, she rubs her face into his chest with a pur, undoubtedly leaving behind smudges of cosmetics, and then runs her fingers down his arms as she steps back, making him shiver.

"Goodnight," she says, looking at him with hooded eyes promising more if he'd only...

"Goodnight," he replies, willing his body not to react, ignoring the disappointed look in her eye.

When she closes her door he sighs from relief, shakes his head at his own foolishness, and leaves.

If only that had been the end of it.

* * *

It's all been innocent so far, but now he's really crossing the line. It's been one hour since he said goodnight to her and he finds himself slowly walking passed her bedroom door. Not with anything in mind, of course. He is heading to the library and her bedroom happens to be in the same corridor and that's when he smells it. He stops dead in his tracks, breathing in the heady scent which is coming in whiffs through the crack under her door: her arousal.

Instead of doing the sensible thing by leaving, he is a right, old pervert and presses himself against the door. He asks his ship to aide him, by carrying the sounds she's making, as he decides to eavesdrop, not caring about the uncomfortable lump of guilt and shame he'll no doubt have in his stomach over the next several days. Right now, all he can think about is the wet noises of her thrusting her fingers into herself, making herself pant and whimper. He grows hard as he pictures her, wondering if she's thinking of him, and he grinds his hips against her door in time with her movements.

He still hasn't caved in and done something about his erections, not even now. Yes, he grinds into her door until she comes, revelling in the muffled sounds she makes, and, yes, he stays erect all night since her scent lingers within him, but he doesn't touch himself and he doesn't let himself climax. He keeps reminding himself he's a Time Lord and that this body just needs some practice to stay flaccid at all times. He vows to avoid this part of the corridor at night from here on out, since he knows how healthy humans function. It's bound to happen again and next time he won't be there to smell or hear it.

* * *

It's the morning after and he's standing by the console, waiting for her alarm to go off. She'll stumble out of bed and pad out to him, making sure he's all right, as has become her morning routine these last four weeks. She'll smell like warm, sleepy Rose and he'll have all of these frustrating urges he shouldn't be thinking about when she's about to appear any minute and he's wearing these tight trousers. His thoughts defy him and wander back to last night anyway. The memories of her scent and the noises she made are so vivid they make him grow hard in an instant and he tugs at his trousers to ease the discomfort.

He shakes his head to clear it from the haze brought upon him by memories of Rose, and he realises her alarm is already blaring and has been for quite some time. Worry floods through him at the thought of something happening to Rose, so he runs to her room to make sure she's alright.

His previous self always barged into any room in the TARDIS without bothering to knock, but since his regeneration he's started to not only knock but also wait for a 'come in'. His change would most likely result in an adjustment period, and he reckoned she could use a place she knew was hers and hers alone. Now, however, he's too scared that something's wrong so he opens her door without even a thought of knocking and-

Oh.

She's... That's... Oh...

She's pink, _beautiful_, inviting and practically handed to him on a silver platter. He swallows. He should leave. He really, really, really should leave, yet his legs move on their own accord and he sees his own pale fingers trail down her smooth skin and just like that he's on his knees and done for. One touch was all it took to break his willpower and make him forget all of his rules. He moves slowly, both giving her time to stop him (_oh, please stop me!_) and himself time to back out. Not that he will. Not unless she shows she doesn't want this (_please don't want this_).

Unfortunately, it seems she does.


	4. Taste

Rose is startled awake when the alarm on her mobile phone starts blaring. Instinctively, her arm shoots out from under the covers to beat the stupid device into submission. She's half asleep when she accidentally knocks it off her nightstand, making it fly across the room until it slides underneath her armoire. Oh, bloody hell! She desperately tries to ignore it and go back to sleep, but it's impossible since she's beginning to fully wake up. Reluctantly, she sits up in bed and scratches her head, which makes a tangled mess of her blond locks, whilst she tries to find her bearings. They were out late last night drinking, but, thanks to the Doctor's handy hangover pills, the only reason behind her slightly disoriented state is the fact that Rose Tyler isn't, and never will be, a morning person.

Rose hasn't had her morning cuppa yet so she's feeling a bit sluggish, but she eventually manages to fling her legs over the edge of the bed and slide down onto the floor. She crawls toward her armoire on all fours and peers under the furniture with a heavy sigh. Great. It's all the way in, next to the wall. She shakes her head at the situation, muttering a string of curses, and reaches for her annoying mobile with one arm. Her face is pressed against the fluffy rug whilst her bum is in the air and, as her hand curls around the mobile, she feels someone's cool fingers against her skin. Right at the crease where her thigh meets her bottom.

Oh.

Fingers follow the curve of her bum, up and down, gingerly. She freezes, swallows and tries to turn her head to get a look, but another hand gently turns her head back before she has a chance to see who it is. It must be him, right? The body temperature is cooler than a human, and no one can enter the TARDIS without a key. Not even the assembled hordes of Genghis Khan. Yes, this must be the Doctor's hand fondling her arse. Wait. Her_naked_ arse. Oh, god.

He was so close and, to be completely honest, _handsy_ last night at the pub, making it nigh impossible for her to resist jumping his bones. All she wanted when they arrived back at the TARDIS was to get comfy in bed, find a quick release and go to sleep. Rose closed her bedroom door and walked into her ensuite to take one of the hangover pills she kept in her medicine cabinet, grab a quick shower and put on an oversized t-shirt before going to bed. She didn't bother putting on knickers, so now her very, very naked arse is up in the air and... Sodding hell, he must see_everything_. She's deeply ashamed, being on display like this, and feels her cheeks burning and yet she's so turned on she can't do anything but let him do whatever it is he's doing. Any sudden movement or sound could scare him away, so she's completely still, trying to make her breathing as quiet and even as possible. She's wanted this for so long. Wanted _him_. This him, the old him, any him.

His gentle touches are enough to make her center throb with need but, she has to admit, not knowing what's going to happen next is a big turn on. His other hand is now firmly gripping her hip, whilst he grows bolder and begins to slide his palm against her skin, kneading her flesh a little on every upward stroke. She realises he's slowly, almost painfully so, inching closer and closer to...

Oh!

He's touching her-_really_ touching her-now, by running his fingertips along her slit and she suddenly forgets how to breathe. It's feather light at first, almost tentative, like he expects her to stop him any minute, but there's no way in hell she will. She's been trapped in the land of perpetual sexual frustration for over a year now, so he can touch her all day long as far as she's concerned. All day, every day, even. Maybe this will be the start of something wonderful or maybe this will be the only chance she ever gets with him. Either way, it's worth it.

He slides his fingers up and down her already wet folds, gathering even more moisture at her entrance, but he has yet to touch her where she really wants him. Maybe he doesn't know. Has he ever had sex with a human? Is he teasing her? Oh, she bets he's teasing her! That would be just like him. He has been doing that quite a lot since his regeneration.

All of her weight is on her left forearm, since she's still holding the ringing mobile underneath the armoire. Her arm is beginning to tremble from the effort, but she doesn't dare to move even though she's slightly annoyed and she feels silly crouched down on all fours being perfectly still. Her breath hitches as his fingers begin to graze her clit. More, she needs more, she needs... God, she wants to scream at him to do it again, but then he slowly begins to rub his fingers in small circles _right there_, almost as if he can read her mind. Her body betrays her; her stupid, starving body_whimpers_-something she's sure he can hear with his superior Time Lord ears even over the sound of the alarm-and she arches her back to give him better access. Oh, god. Please don't let this scare him away.

Yes!

It _encourages_ him. Oh, god, yes! He's now gripping her hip tighter as his fingers press even harder and mmmm... Her eyes are shut and she's biting her bottom lip, panting. She can't help but wonder why this and why now, but then his other hand lets go of her hip and he pushes a finger into her, moving slowly. He adds a second finger and she no longer cares about why he's doing this. Mewling noises escape her throat and she can picture him smirking smugly at the effect his clever hands have on her. He pumps in and out of her enough times to leave her dripping wet and aching for more when his fingers suddenly disappear. She has to bite the inside of her cheek in an effort to prevent herself from protesting loudly.

She feels something else against her and... Wait, is that...? Yes, it's him-_him_, not his fingers-at her entrance and she stiffens. Admittedly, it's been very surprising up to this point but still somewhat believable. She doesn't know _this_ Doctor yet, not like she knew the old him, but she knows enough to be certain that this is a man who'll make love to a woman. Especially _this_ woman. He cares deeply for her and, as rude as he can be, he's still much too sweet to let their first time be like this. He would want to kiss her and see her face, wouldn't he? He would want to make sure they both knew what this meant.

Oh. Maybe that's exactly what he's doing.

They've grown close these past four weeks while they've been stuck in London, and the way he looks at her sometimes makes her think... Well, her mum says he's in love with her, but this is the Doctor and he doesn't do that. Day by day, though, she started to get her hopes up but doing this... This isn't love. This is carnal. He hasn't kissed her, not said a word...shit! You can barely get him to shut up ever! Is it really him? She licks her lips nervously and tries to turn her head again to look over her shoulder, but his hand is there instantly, stopping her.

Just like that, she starts feeling dirty. What the _hell_ is she doing? Why didn't she stop him? Is this man, who is now merely teasing her instead of entering her, even him? Who else could it be, though? They're parked outside the Estate and only the two of them have keys to the time ship. The TARDIS would warn her if it were an intruder, right? Oh, god. What if he's eaten something strange or been possessed by something or... What if, when all of this is over, he throws her out because she didn't stop him when he obviously lost his marbles and decided to fuck her from behind?

She feels him slide his cock between her folds again and again, spreading her wetness, and then he pushes into her slowly but steadily. Oh, hell, she'll need her other hand for this. He moans at the exact same time as she turns off the alarm and brings her arm back out from under the armoire. She sighs when she recognizes it's _his_ voice. At least she _knows_ it's the Doctor, now. He takes a moment. If it's to let her adjust to his size or if it's for his own sake, she doesn't know, but it's so _good_ being completely filled by him. He's just perfect. Big enough to really feel it, but not so large it will hurt. Oh, fuck it-to hell with the consequences. She's gonna enjoy this.

He's completely sheathed inside her with one hand at her clit and the other on her hip, but he's not moving. It's been at least three or four minutes. What is he waiting for? Is this how his people do it? She squeezes him from the inside and his grip tightens. When he still doesn't move, she leans forward slightly, pushes back and grinds into him. The room is silent now that her alarm has been turned off, and she hears him do something with his mouth. Is he licking his lips or biting them, perhaps? She thinks she heard him gulp. No. She definitely heard something akin to a gasp. All of it is very faint, but she knows she didn't imagine it, so she repeats her motion once, twice and... Oh, thank you god, he finally starts to move.

It's all languid strokes at first but she's beginning to grow impatient and wants more, so she arches her back and grabs the deep piles of the rug for purchase, and begins to push back with every thrust, making sure he picks up the pace. They're in way too deep now and she knows there won't be any turning back from this, so she stops caring about scaring him away and allows herself to let loose. Jimmy Stone, her first, was a selfish partner and with him she mastered the art of faking it. Mickey was sweet, boring and thought penetration alone could make her come. She never felt confident enough to tell him otherwise-and if she's completely honest, she never did care enough either. As much as she loves Mickey, he just doesn't _do it_ for her.

Between those two she had a couple of bad one night stands and a short fling with a bloke called Ali. He was pretty decent, but he also lived with his mum and they had to be quiet. Here in the TARDIS, though, she can scream all she wants. There are no neighbours who'll complain, no one's mum is in the next room. Right now, it's just the Doctor and Rose and he's rubbing and pinching her clit whilst pushing into her so deeply, making her realise she's a very loud woman.

She finally shatters around him, but she's still coherent enough not to scream his name. It's all _yes_ and _god_, but never _Doctor_. As she stills and slumps a little on the floor, he moves his hand from her clit to her other hip and starts thrusting frantically. He's chasing his own high now and all that can be heard in the silence of her bedroom are the wet sounds of flesh slapping against flesh. He has remained quiet with the only exception being the moan that slipped past his lips upon entering her. She can't even hear him breathing right now and she reckons he's so wrapped up in what he's doing he has to rely on his respiratory bypass system. She's still mewling, though, because he feels _fantastic_ and is slowly relighting her fire.

She's panting, grinding, arching, and hoping for one more release, but he's already coming with a barely audible groan. She helps him along by clenching her inner walls as hard as she can, feeling him spill into her. He leans over her, resting for a moment, and roughly pulls out of her. Before she even has time to look over her shoulder, she feels his hands on her bum, pushing her closer to the floor. She doesn't understand until she feels his tongue against her sex and hears him moan for the second time. Oh. He moved so fast she didn't realise it at first. He's now lying on his back, licking her clean.

None of the blokes she's ever been with have done that; they've all been too scared to taste their own come, but she finds this incredibly sexy. When he's lapped it all up, he starts sucking on her clit, flicking it with his tongue, and soon finds that spot she wasn't sure existed when he curls two fingers inside her. It's quick. She's already sensitive and halfway there, everything they're doing is turning her on, and when he starts humming against her she's lost. Her hips buck as she comes a second time and he's gripping her so firmly she's sure she'll have bruises afterwards.

She's still shuddering and mewling from her orgasm when she hears him move behind her, and then feels him push his cock into her once more. What the...? How can he be hard already? She thinks maybe it has something to do with his twin hearts but, before she can finish that thought, he starts moving again, forcing her to grab onto the rug piles and hang on for dear life. It's even rougher than before, almost punishing even, and his fingers are digging into her flesh. She loves it, though, and gasps encouragingly for every thrust. This time he doesn't make a sound when he comes. He merely leans forward, grabs one of her breasts possessively and holds her close as he empties himself in her, panting against her t-shirt covered back.

As he pulls out, she collapses on the floor, whimpering. Conscious of the fact that he turned her head every time she tried to look at him, she keeps her eyes closed, resting her cheek against the rug. She hears a rustle of cloth and then feels him cleaning her with what very well might be his tie. She's so sensitive right now that she almost shies away from his touch, but she doesn't want him to get the wrong idea. She loved it and she wants to do it again, so she smiles and hopes he watches her face, but after one final caress over her bum, he leaves her without a single word.

As soon as she hears her door closing, she looks at the mobile and waits fifteen minutes until she drags herself off the floor and into her ensuite for a shower. She might not know what that was, but she knows what it's not. He's made himself clear with his silence, his lack of kisses and complete control over where she was looking: this never happened.

* * *

The Doctor stumbles down the corridor, cursing the fact that the TARDIS is still too weak to form temporary doors for him, making the run to the safety of his bedroom take ten minutes. Everything is infused with her scent. Everything! Her wetness is rubbed so deeply into his skin that he'll be able to smell her on himself for weeks. He goes straight into the shower without even bothering to undress. He grew hard again whilst cleaning her up with his tie and had to use all of his willpower to get away before he thrust into her for the third time. Luckily, he had already tucked himself into his trousers, but now the throbbing is _killing_ him and he can't will it to soften.

The noises she made when his fingers found her bundle of nerves drowned out the voice of his conscience long enough for him to unzip his trousers, take himself in hand and line himself up. He couldn't believe it was really _him_ who made her whimper from pleasure as he discovered his own sense of male pride. He teased her, hoping one of them would come to their senses, but neither of them did. He stopped after sheathing himself in her heat. It was too good, too much, and... (_please, Rose, please just stop me. Please!_)

He slams his fist into the tiled wall in his shower stall, adding physical pain to the emotional hurt he's already feeling, and tears prickle behind his eyelids. He hates this new body: the urges, the lack of control, the need to taste and the endless energy. He makes sure the water temperature is cold as ice, in an effort to numb it into submission.

After she started moving, it turned into an exquisite haze of making the most of it, because as he began thrusting deeply into Rose, he vowed it would never _ever_ happen again. He can't let it, _won't_ let it. Therefore, he made sure to burn how she felt, sounded and tasted into his mind to use as fantasy fodder during his lonely, sleepless nights. He'll have to start masturbating from now on, no matter how beneath him he's always found it. Abstinence clearly doesn't work for this body and he'll do _anything_ to prevent this from ever happening again. He won't touch himself now, though. He doesn't deserve release after what he just did.

She smiled when he cleaned her up and it almost made him want to lash out. Why the hell didn't she stop him? He gave her so many chances! Is this what she does? Lets men take her from behind without a word? She didn't even seem surprised! Did she plan that? Does she realise how hard he struggles every day and decide to hang around in her room half naked on all fours just to tempt him? He grits his teeth, chastising himself inwardly. No! No, this isn't _her_ fault. She doesn't have a conniving bone in her body. He should've controlled himself instead of taking advantage of this-this _child_. What the hell is wrong with this body? It's not supposed to be doing this!

He can't stop her cries from echoing in his head and, in his state of distress, they turn into shrieks of fear making his memory warp into something twisted. Maybe she didn't feel like she had a choice and only tried to make the best of it. What if he...? He hits the wall again, drawing blood as the impact splits open the skin over his knuckles. Fuck. He rips off his clothes, turning the temperature to scalding, instead of ice cold, to clean himself thoroughly. After he's clean, he steps out of the shower and grabs a towel, rubbing himself dry so forcefully his skin turns red. He rummages through his medicine cabinet for a cream which will help his hand heal quickly. He can't let her see him like this.

After patching up his hand, he quickly dresses himself, does his hair and walks to the console room. There's nowhere to run, but he can hide in plain sight behind a mask of joviality and friendship. Rose knows what a coward he is and she'll understand. She's Rose. She will forgive him. She will.

* * *

Regardless of what happens next, Rose wants to stay with the Doctor, so she has to prove to him she can handle this. She knows he cares for her and that he needs her, but if she becomes some demanding, clingy girlfriend type who wants to talk and turn things domestic she's sure he'll dump her. The only option is to keep going and, luckily, Rose has always been rather good at that. It's something Jackie has passed on to her and she's become even better at it since meeting the Doctor, because one can't let things affect oneself too deeply leading the life he does. Rose decides to busy herself by getting ready for another day instead of dwelling on what this might or might not mean for her and the Doctor.

She takes her time in the shower, finding and using some of her long-forgotten beauty products, to give both of them time to get their bearings and also to keep her thoughts from running amok. She focuses on massaging her scalp, rubbing sugar scrub in circular motions all over her body and she even uses some deep conditioning treatment for her dry hair. It's rather frazzled and decides she'll ask her mum to cut it for her before they leave. She thinks it's such a cliché to decide to do something drastic with your hair after a small crisis with the man in your life, but she supposes it is a cliché for a reason. After all, she had sex with the Doctor, _the Doctor_, and she feels like a new person. Not as much as he must, of course, but, then again, he changed his whole body and she's only deciding to cut off her split ends.

After her shower, she pats herself dry, rubs lotion all over and applies foundation, blush and several layers of mascara. She chooses her underwear carefully and tries on at least four pairs of jeans before realising they just won't work with her bruised hips. She pulls off her top and puts on a soft dress, combining it with a loose knit sweater. She checks her reflection in her floor length mirror to make sure she looks all right, and decides enough time has passed before padding out of her bedroom.

Her heart is pounding as she walks down the corridor to the console room, so she lets her hands run along the coral walls, feeling the friendly hum of the time ship in her mind as well as her fingertips. It's not much but it soothes her somewhat. She stops to give herself some time to calm down a little before she reaches the console room. It's been easy this far, but now he's so close and knowing she has to face him is nerve racking. She focuses on her breathing and tries to will her racing heart to slow down. She's done worse things than this. Come on, Rose, just put one foot in front of the other and pull yourself together.

"Rose?"

Oh, bloody hell. Stupid Time Lord and his stupid senses.

"Yeah," she says, walking into the console room.

"Hand me the pliers, will you?"

"Yeah, 'course." She goes to the toolbox, finds the pair she knows he favours and hands them to him. There shouldn't be much to do under there, but she supposes he's just as nervous as she is and needs his comfort zone. Thankfully, she can't see his face but his whole lower body is on display in those tight, pinstriped trousers and her eyes drift... No, no, no, she can't think about that. Can't remember how it felt when... Just shut up, brain!

"Thanks." He cuts something, uses his sonic and then climbs out, looking like he always does: happy smile on his face, messy hair, those blasted sexy specs and sleeves rolled up. It's like he wants to drive her mental. "So, what do you have planned for us after breakfast?"

"Uhm, dunno. Just got up," she says, trying to ignore the funny feeling in her stomach. "Haven't really gotten that far..."

"Ah. Slept well I hope?"

Wow. They really are doing this: standing here, making smalltalk, acting like he didn't just sneak into her room and fuck her from behind. It's not that she's surprised, she expected this after all, but it's still so incredibly surreal.

"Yeah," she drawls, deciding to just babble on to hide how uncomfortable she is. "Yeah, I did, yeah. Thanks to those pills of yours. Good thing I didn't know you at sixteen, Doctor. Would've been plastered all the time, I reckon."

He raises his eyebrows and looks at her amusedly. "Somehow I doubt that."

"Yeah, maybe not," she says, laughing. He's right, of course. She's never been much of a drinker, not even with Jimmy. Or rather, especially not with him. It was always best to be clear-headed around him.

"Shall we go to your mother's for breakfast, then?"

"Uhm," she says and successfully fights the urge to duck her head when she feels her face flush. There is no way in _hell_ she's going to her mum's now. It's too soon. She won't be able to keep it together. She can barely look at the Doctor as it is! She keeps her eyes on his nose, his hair or his cheeks, avoiding his talented mouth and perceptive eyes. It would be even worse if her mum was there too. "Nah. I feel like those Pilovian muffins today and that tea we got in Kyoto," she lies.

"But we promised her, remember? Sunday breakfast together. C'mon," he says, holding out his hand and wiggling his fingers. Fingers which were buried deep inside her moments ago and she can't, she just _can't_, take his hand. Everything hinges on this, doesn't it? What he's really doing by reaching out to her like this is asking her if things can stay the same. She wonders what would happen if she would just talk about it instead, but as she hesitates one second too many a glimmer of panic shows in his eyes and she can't do this to him.

Oh, bollocks. Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks.

"All right," she says brightly, grabbing his hand and giving it a friendly squeeze before dropping it. "Lemme just get my coat."

"You can have mine," he says, taking it from one of the coral struts and draping it over her shoulders. "C'mon. I'm starving."


	5. Back to Normal

The Doctor's cool hand is wrapped around hers as they walk side by side to her mum's flat. His coat warms her body and envelopes her with his scent. Rose can't help but breathe him in whilst her mind secretly wanders off with thoughts of anyone they pass thinking they are a couple. She also can't help but wonder if he realises just how possessive and protective of a gesture it is to lend a woman your coat like this, especially considering they just had mind blowing sex. Had he been any other man... No, she has to focus! She can ponder this once she's alone in her bedroom because right now she has to pretend she's the same old Rose. Thankfully, he puts his gob to good use, blabbering on about the TARDIS, so she listens actively and even asks questions to sustain the string of words pouring out of him.

After Rose lost her virginity to Jimmy Stone, she spent almost an hour in front of the mirror trying to see if she looked any different before returning home. She didn't want her mum to know what she'd been up to and, as far as she could tell, there weren't any noticeable outward changes, but her mother only needed to look at her once to know. Rose still isn't sure what gave her away, but she wishes she did so she doesn't make the same mistake today. She might not have lost her virginity this time, but shagging an alien would probably be considered life changing by pretty much anyone's standards. Would her mum be able to tell with just one look? She glances at the Doctor, who's in the middle of explaining how they will very soon be able to start powering up the rooms one by one, wondering if her mum will know by the looks of him. Does he seem different? He's very energetic today but that's not out of the ordinary, really.

They are greeted by an apron clad Jackie and the lingering smell of bacon and scrambled eggs in the air. She showers them with hugs and kisses, which the Doctor grumpily wipes off his face. Maybe he doesn't like kissing? Although, he did exchange one with Jack without hesitation. Maybe he just doesn't like kissing Tylers? At least not on the mouth. Rose blushes hard when she remembers his talented tongue and heat begins to pool in her center. She turns to face the wall and immediately shrugs off his coat to hang it up on a hook, and decides to rush off to the loo to collect herself. She can't let them see her flushed like this, so she pretends to pee and then washes her wrists in ice cold water to cool off. She'd rather wash her face, but her mum will definitely ask questions if she walks out without makeup all of a sudden.

Rose returns to the kitchen, once her face has returned to its normal colour, to join her mum and the Doctor. Her mum has already set the table, filled their plates and poured them some steaming tea. Jackie really has spoiled them rotten during their stay on Earth and Rose knows she's loved every minute of it. She even seems to like this new Doctor. Would she still like him if she knew he apparently loses all semblance of control at the sight of her daughter's naked bum? Rose hides her heated face behind the teacup, kicking herself mentally for not letting it go. She takes a deep breath, clearing her mind from thoughts of this morning, and tries to focus on what her mother and the Doctor are chatting about, but it's impossible. The situation is just too weird and her head is threatening to overload from all the thoughts and emotions whirling around inside of her.

She's brought out of her thoughts by her mother's hand, pressing against her forehead.

"How are you, sweetheart?" her mother asks. "You're not acting like yourself. Been quiet for half an hour, you have."

"M'fine, mum," she mumbles. "Just hungover."

"Oi! Didn't you brag about them hangover pills?" Jackie says and whacks the Doctor on the arm.

"Ah. Yes. I, er, I forgot," he says, looking sheepishly at her and rubbing the spot where Jackie hit him.

Jackie narrows her eyes, inspecting the Doctor. "Didn't seem to forget to take one yourself, did you? Even more full of beans than usual, you are."

"He's a Time Lord, mum. They don't get hung over," Rose explains, still not really looking at him.

Her mum's right, though. The Doctor is awfully chipper today and she's not sure how she feels about that. It either means that shagging anyone willing was just what he needed, or he's so disturbed by what he did he's bordering on mania. Knowing him, it's probably a little of both. She snorts at the thought, and curses inwardly at her own stupidity when her mother and the Doctor look at her.

"What?" asks her mother.

"Nothing."

Her mother eyes her for a second, but then she shrugs and resumes her conversation with the Doctor. He's done with his breakfast and he's sipping his tea just like any other Englishman. Sometimes, it can be very easy for her to forget he's not human despite them living on a sentient ship that travels through time and space. She has to keep reminding herself he only looks like a human man. Although... She's never really had a chance to see _him_ and, when she changed him into Howard's jimjams on Christmas, she kept his pants on, so maybe he looks really weird and that's why he kept turning her head. He could be TARDIS blue down there for all she knows. Maybe he glows in the dark when he comes or something? She knows it's a bad idea, but she just can't help but giggle at the thought. It's like being in school again, sitting in the back of the classroom trying to pretend she and Shareen aren't laughing and whispering about boys. She is bursting with nervous energy now and needs an outlet, so she starts giggling until she snorts whilst picturing the Doctor pulling down his trousers, whipping out a humming lightsaber and waggling his eyebrows.

"C'mon then. What's so funny?" her mother asks, reminding Rose exactly why she should avoid mulling this over until she's alone.

"Nothing," she answers, pressing her lips together. She doesn't need to look at him to know the Doctor is uneasy about her behaviour, but she feels a little lighter now after her outburst and, hopefully, it will make it easier for her to pretend. "Just remembered a funny joke from last night."

"Yeah? Go on."

"You had to be there," she says, but her mother doesn't buy it.

"What's happened? I can tell something's wrong. Did you have a row?" Jackie turns to the Doctor, pointing at him with her fork and he stiffens. "What did you do to her?" she asks, making Rose flush again. Her mother turns back to her and asks, "Was he rude to your friends?"

She knows her mother can see her blushing. Hell, considering how warm her face is one could probably see her burning cheeks all the way from the moon. Stupid Doctor and his stupid issues. Why couldn't they have just talked about it like two mature adults? People have sex all the time without it meaning anything. Yes, she loves him, both still and already, but she's knows he's never going to be her boyfriend. Maybe he doesn't get that, though. Maybe he thinks she will want to domesticate him into a nice, little husband she can stick inside a picturesque house with a garden surrounded by a white picket fence. Oh, and maybe add some snotty kids whilst they're at it, too. That's _not_ what she wants! It would be like caging a bird and she'd never be able to live with that, not even if she actually wanted that kind of a life. He's the Doctor and he's above all that. She gets it and she can handle it. This act; however, she has a hard time with. She's never been good at lying to her mum, but she can't really say 'none of your business', storm into her room and sulk in her bed like she used to when she was a teenager. Oh, hell, she has to say something before her mother thinks things are seriously wrong between her and the Doctor.

"No, mum, I-"

She is saved by the phone ringing and her mother scurrying out into the living room to chat in peace. Rose releases the breath she didn't realise she had been holding. She doesn't dare to look at him just yet and is glad she can keep her eyes on the food she's forgotten to eat thus far. She quickly decides it's best to keep talking so they can avoid any awkward pauses, so she starts chattering about last night at the pub and how much fun it was to spin their experiences into believable stories. The Doctor's mood brightens immediately and it almost feels like any other morning.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Jackie returns to the kitchen. She hears them chatting in the same way they always do, but as soon as she enters the room there's a slight change in the atmosphere. Jackie might not be an alien super genius, but if there's one thing she knows it's people: something has changed between her daughter and that Doctor. She's been waiting for it to happen for a while now and she can't even say she's all that surprised. She's not particularly fond of their relationship and she did her best to try to end it when he was Northern but, despite her efforts, Rose won't stay on Earth, and if him changing his whole body won't make her see reason then nothing will. She knows the Doctor adores Rose and will always look out for her, at least, so Jackie reckons it's best to just reconcile with the fact she's going to have an alien son-in-law. Therefore, it's time for her to have The Talk. She's had it with all of Rose's boyfriends, well all of them except Jimmy Stone and look how well that turned out.

"Is your gran," she says to Rose and nods towards the living room. "Wants a chat, she does."

Jackie's already asked her mum to really blabber on with Rose, giving her ample time to talk to the Doctor. As always, his eyes follow Rose as she leaves the room and Jackie shakes her head. They think no one knows but she's never seen a pair more obviously in love in her life. They're basically attached by the hip, for god's sake.

The Doctor turns to her, smiling brightly, probably thinking they'll resume talking about Eastenders or some such. He's watched it with her and Rose a few times during this month, often whilst tinkering with things like her toaster or hair dryer, and it seems as if he already knows more about the show than she does. Well, he's got another thing coming. She sits down, leaning over the table and narrowing her eyes, and he immediately looks nervous. Good.

"Reckon it's time for a talk," she says, giving him a pointed look.

"Eeeh..."

"Got no father to do this, does she?" she explains. "All she's got is her old mum so I've done this with all of her other blokes. This is the first alien, mind, but I reckon it's not much different."

He gulps. "Sorry?"

"Oh, don't act stupid," she snarks, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back in her chair. "She won't talk to me. Never does when it comes to these things. God knows I tried when she was a teenager, I did. Never worked with that one, though." She shakes her head, exasperated. "S'always 'I'm fine mum' this and 'Nothing's wrong mum' that," she says, making her voice even higher. "Just tell me you're being safe, all right?"

"I... _What_?" he squeaks, looking like his eyes are going to pop out of his head.

Jackie sighs. "Rose always does what she wants. Couldn't keep her away from that Jimmy wanker, and I can't stop her from shagging an alien." She grabs her teacup, swirls the liquid around and proceeds talking with a casual, almost innocent tone. "Didn't use my good arm on you last time, you know. Saving it for when I really need it, you see. I'll slap you good and proper if you knock her up and dump her. She's too young being a mum on her own." She takes a sip of her tea and adds under her breath, "I should know."

"Eeer," he manages to get out.

"Or, I dunno. I mean, I have no idea how you lot go about it, do I? You could lay eggs, for all I know!"

The Doctor's jaw drops and he scowls at her. "We do _not_ lay eggs!"

"All right. Don't get your knickers in a twist," she says, chuckling. "Well, can you?"

"Do I look like a chicken?"

"God, you're thick," she says, rolling her eyes. "Can you get her _pregnant_?"

His annoyed expression changes into something completely blank. "I don't know if a Gallifreyan is compatible with a human."

She bores her eyes into him, leans over the table again and she pokes him in the chest. "Then find out. My daughter's not coming home heartbroken and alone with her body full of alien babies, you hear?"

"We don't..." He gulps, looking like she's told him she poured aspirin in his tea. "We're not like that."

Her face softens into a tired, but gentle, smile. "I'm not stupid, Doctor. A mother always knows," she says, nodding sagely. "S'not what I would've chosen for her, but you know how she is. Stubborn little..." She holds up her hands, shaking her head.

The Doctor nods quietly, staring down at his plate, and she waits patiently for him to say something.

"Jackie, we're not like that."

She's spent the past month watching them dance around each other, making moon eyes and snuggling up on the sofa. This morning he's a little bit too happy, whilst Rose barely looks at him, or at Jackie for that matter, and alternates between being quiet and bursting into a fit of giggles. Jackie might not always know what goes on in her daughter's life, but she knows when Rose is trying to hide something. They don't have to say it. It's obvious their relationship has progressed and that they're terrified of Jackie finding out.

"Well then," she says, deciding to cut him some slack. "Just promise me that _if_ you do anything it'll be safe. Can you do that, then?"

He swallows and averts his gaze, making her wonder how on Earth he is toppling evil, alien governments on a daily basis with a poker face like that.

"Yes."

"All right," she says with a nod. "'Nother cuppa?"

She knows her talk worked, because once Rose comes back the Doctor is a little more subdued. He's undoubtedly thinking about what she just said and she's certain he'll make sure they're safe from now on. She knows exactly how easy it is to forget about protection in the heat of the moment and sometimes all you need is a friendly reminder and a not-so-friendly threat of a slap.

* * *

The Doctor has never been in a situation like this before and he has no idea how to behave. His usual tactics of choice don't work with Jackie. If he tries to be evasive or distract her by running his gob, she just tells him to shut up and go on with it. He will absolutely not tell her the truth, so he settles on a half truth and tells her he'll make sure to be safe. Oh, he'll make sure, all right. The only safe sex is the sex you're not having, so that's what he'll do. It's obvious Jackie's not buying it when he claims he and Rose aren't involved, but she accepts what he's says and pours them another cuppa. At this point, he is seriously contemplating crossing his own timeline because if there were ever something to undo, this surely must be it.

As soon as Rose comes back to the breakfast table, she talks to her mother about their respective chats with Rose's gran whilst the Doctor is left to digest not only his food but also his conversation with Jackie. He's surprised she didn't ask what his intentions are, but he supposes she knows him well enough to know he'd never give her a proper answer. She did raise an excellent question, though: can he get her pregnant? That's something he really should have thought about before emptying himself inside Rose twice in one morning. It's not impossible since humans are a very compatible species and their reproductive systems are pretty similar to those of a Gallifreyan. Human women are more fertile than females of his kind, though, but he could very well be sterile. Regeneration is a dodgy process and you can end up any which way, really. One of his previous bodies didn't even have testicles!

He knows by the way Rose tastes that she's not using hormonal contraception, but she's not ovulating right now so there shouldn't really be a possibility that she'll become... He shudders at the thought. No, she won't be. He plans to find out soon enough and then... No. No, she just won't be. He will _not_ allow himself to lose control again, so it won't be an issue in the future and there's no need to find out just how compatible they are. They'll just move on, being what they've always been and always should be to each other: friends. As platonic as they come.

He notices the conversation beginning to dwindle, but being in the flat is perfect and he quickly decides to make sure they stay put for the rest of the day. If they were to return to the mostly powered down TARDIS, he would risk constantly running into Rose without the presence of Jackie 'Anaphrodisiac' Tyler, and that is too tempting for him right now. Besides, he'll whisk Rose away soon, so it's only kind of him to make sure she spends more time with her mother. Yes, that's a splendid idea and very generous of him.

* * *

As Rose helps her mum clean up after breakfast, she tries to come up with something to do. Since they were out last night, she hadn't really planned anything for today other than lounging about in the TARDIS. Maybe they could just stay here with her mum? It's not ideal but at least it's a distraction. She glances at the Doctor, who's reading the paper much more slowly than he usually does. Would he go for that? Granted, they have spent a lot of their time with her mum lately, but never a whole day. Before she has a chance to say anything; however, the Doctor surprises her.

"Was thinking about optimising your washer, Jackie," he says, sonic screwdriver already in his hand.

"Oh?"

"Weeell, I'll be bringing your daughter home with a bag full of laundry on a regular basis soon, so... Need I remind you of all the slime and muck we find ourselves in, hm?" he says with a smile.

Warmth floods through Rose and she beams as she hears his words. A small part of her was afraid he would leave her behind, but now she knows for sure she's welcome to stay. He meets her eye, beaming back, and everything feels just right. They'll be okay.

"S'pose you've done a well enough job so far," Jackie says. "Yeah, all right. Knock yourself out."

At times, the Doctor seems like such a daft, manic alien and Rose wouldn't be surprised to find he has added a freeze ray function to the hair dryer, a banana detector to the mobile, and a self destruct button to the blender. Therefore, she's always a bit nervous whenever he tinkers with her mother's appliances but, so far, it's been unfounded. Everything he's worked on runs more efficiently now and both Tyler women are amazed by the results.

"I have lived on Earth, you know," he huffed one time when she wasn't very good at hiding her reaction to his latest improvement. "And I've travelled with you lot for ages. I know how things are supposed to work." He wrinkled his nose, tilted his head and added, "Weeeell. Mostly."

She hadn't dared use her mum's microwave for days.

They spend the rest of the day in Jackie's flat since neither of them have made an effort to leave and they both keep pointing out reasons as to why they should stay. It's as though they have a silent agreement and Rose almost laughs at how well they work together, even in a situation as strange and new to them as this. After lunch, they play monopoly for hours and listen to Jackie gossiping about everyone and their uncle. She half expects the Doctor to jump out the window, but he's calm and hums in all the right places.

When evening comes, they order curry for dinner, eating it in front of some sort of televised dance competition for moderately famous people her mum likes and, once full, they lean back in the sofa. The Doctor places his arm behind Rose's shoulders on the backrest and, since they're supposed to be acting like nothing's happened, she scoots even closer and leans her head against him, as has become her habit during their stay on Earth. He lets out a barely audible sigh as the dance show credits roll, slipping one hand down to rest on her shoulder and grabbing the remote with his other to find something else to watch.

"Ooooh," he chirps, after channel flipping his way to reruns of a show he likes.

"What's this, then?" her mother asks, coming back from the kitchen after doing the dishes.

"Some whodunit the Doctor loves. We watch it sometimes in the TARDIS."

"You get proper telly in that box?"

"Yeah, we get everything."

"Looks a little like that bloke, doesn't he?" her mother says to Rose about the Doctor, pointing at one of the actors.

"Huh," Rose says, tilting her head and staring at the brown haired bloke on telly and then at the Doctor. "Suppose he does, little bit."

The Doctor harrumphs. "Do not!"

"Is that why you love the show so much?" Rose asks, laughing.

"No! It's a very unusual-"

"He's rather sexy that one, isn't he?" Jackie interrupts him, looking at the actor licking an ice cream cone. "Yeah, you're right, Doctor. You look nothing alike."

"What?! I'm _very_ sexy!" the Doctor says, turning to Rose making them pull apart a little. "Right, Rose?"

"Uhm," she says, unsure of how to reply. He looks terrified for a split second and she's pretty certain she's mirroring his expression. What would not-been-shagged-by-the-Doctor Rose have said and in what tone? Her brain is completely empty. Had her life been a bad comedy there would have been crickets chirping right about now.

"Don't leave the poor man hanging, sweetheart," her mother says, chuckling, eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Yeah, uhm," Rose starts, but then she finds her bearings, grinning at him. "Nah. He's way more sexy. Got better hair, too."

"What?!" the Doctor squeaks, hands flying up to make sure his precious tresses are styled perfectly, but she can tell he's pleased with her teasing him. "Take that back, Rose Tyler."

"Nope!" she says, popping the 'p' mockingly. "Think he might be slightly less sort-of-brown and a little more ginger, actually," she teases, even though the two men seem to have the exact same hair color.

The Doctor gasps loudly. "That-that... You _wound_ me," he says, pressing one hand against his chest and letting the other resume its position on her shoulder.

"You'll be fine," she says, leaning against him once more. Yes, he will be and so will they.

They continue to watch telly until Rose is so tired she almost falls asleep on the spot. As they walk back to the TARDIS, she can't help but wonder if that was his plan all along because she's too knackered to even chat. Instead of walking to her bedroom door like he usually does, he quietly says goodnight and jumps down the grating to tinker. It's not until she's in her jimjams and tucked safely into her bed that Rose allows herself to think about all the things that happened today.

Not for the first time, she curses the fact she doesn't know anyone she can talk to about him. No one would understand. If Shareen knew Rose had shagged the Doctor and that he kept holding her hand and cuddling with her on the sofa, she'd assume he wanted to be Rose's boyfriend. Rose knows better, though. They're pretending nothing happened, so him acting like he always does is his way of telling her he really doesn't want to be romantically involved with her. His behaviour may have changed since his regeneration, but his nonexistent intentions towards her obviously have not.

A lot of other things have, though, and she's angry with herself for not asking more about the regeneration process. She has used her usual tactic of letting him open up to her when he's ready, but perhaps she should've pushed him a little. His actions this morning might not have been completely out of the blue, considering how he's behaved around her lately. Has the regeneration done something with his inhibitions? He has flirted a lot; he's touched her more intimately; he's looked at her differently and, a few weeks ago, her mum told her he looked utterly besotted with her. If that's true, though, why didn't he kiss her? No, this can't be anything but release. They've been stuck on Earth for a while now and he needed some sort of outlet for his frustration.

She rolls over on her back, hands travelling down her body as she remembers his clever fingers. She shagged the Doctor. No. She _fucked_ the Doctor. That was proper fucking. She pulls down her knickers, kicking them out of the bed and onto the floor, letting her fingers find her heat. Who cares what it was? It was fantastic and, even though she won't push things, she hopes it will happen again. In the meantime, she'll act as though nothing has changed because after today she knows she can do it.


	6. Reprise

Rose walks around feeling on edge the week after she had mind blowing sex with the Doctor. His casual touches ignite a fire that slowly burns inside her, and she can't help but wonder if he will lose control again. She hopes he will but the circles under his eyes appear to grow darker with each passing day, effectively quenching the passion raging within her. How can she hope for something more to happen when he appears to be tortured and unable to sleep? She feels guilty about touching herself whilst thinking of him, even though he's not aware of what she does in the privacy of her bedroom. Finally, on day eight, she gives up hope and decides it's best to just accept that he doesn't want her like she wants him.

The life they lead is far too beautiful, important and exciting to give up just because her feelings aren't returned, and he _does_ need her as a friend, so she continues to pretend nothing has changed between them. It's much easier for her than she originally expected it to be, whilst he seems to be the one having trouble with it. On the outside, they appear to be the same Doctor and Rose as they continue to hold hands, sit close together, and smile and laugh with one another. The Doctor even displays some of his possessiveness towards her when they are around others; however, when they are alone in the TARDIS he puts distance between them. What little time they spend at home on the time ship is devoted to powering up every room, even though Rose knows it's just an excuse for him to hide from whatever is going on between them. She is repeatedly left to entertain herself and, as more rooms gradually become available for use, it becomes easier for her to pass the time.

Yesterday, on day nine, he announced the media room was up and running, so she decides to enjoy a lazy day whilst watching movies. She missed having access to the TARDIS' vast media library and quickly resolves herself to finishing the show she had been watching with Jack before the Game Station. She didn't bother to get dressed, since she knows the Doctor will be busy all day, and sits on the sofa in a mid-thigh nightie, slippers and a knee-length dressing gown. A cuppa is placed on the armrest beside her, cooling off, and the seat next to her is painfully empty. She pets the cold leather, wishing Jack could be there with her, and grabs the remote with her other hand, pressing play.

Hours later, she has finished the show, had a good cry into a throw pillow since one of the main characters died, and ate lunch as well as dinner without any sign of the Doctor. She's not sure what she wants to watch next, so she hits the randomizer button, letting the TARDIS choose a film for her. It turns out to be a science fiction film from the future, something she and the Doctor love picking apart. She's halfway through it when he finally pops by and, beaming, he sits down next to her on the sofa. Mindful of how she's dressed, she nearly pulls her legs up under herself to cover up but refrains from it, since she used to walk around dressed like this all the time and they're supposed to be acting like normal.

"What's up, Doc?" she asks, trying to sound like Jack and failing.

He shoots her a dirty look, since he's not too keen on her calling him Doc, puts his feet on the table and crosses his arms behind his neck as he leans back on the sofa. "Oh, you know, this and that."

"No, c'mon," she says, nudging him in the side with her elbow. "What are you so happy about?"

"The TARDIS has finished healing. We're finally ready to leave!" he chirps, grinning from ear to ear.

"Great! When are we off, then?"

"Weeell, since I don't want to get slapped by your mother, I reckon we should stay until morning. Have breakfast with her and then off we go. Sound good?"

"Yep!"

"What's this rubbish you're watching, anyway?" he says, grimacing at the projector screen.

"Dunno," she says, shrugging. "Wasn't sure what I was in the mood for, so I used the randomizer. It's some 24th century epic sci fi about an abandoned spaceship, sentient plants, androids with pincers-"

"What? _Pincers?_ Why?"

"Yeah, you tell me. It's in your film collection," she answers, laughing. "Wanna make fun of it with me?"

"Suppose I could use some R'n'R..." he says with a sigh, rubbing his eyes underneath his specs.

"Yeah, you've been working hard," she says, fighting the urge to run her fingers through his unruly hair. "I'll go make us a cuppa and some popcorn, yeah?"

"Knew I kept you around for a reason," he mumbles, taking off his glasses and making himself even more comfortable on the sofa.

When she returns he already looks drowsy, so she asks, "You sure about this, Doctor? You look knackered. Maybe you should go to bed, yeah?"

"Hm? Nope. You know I don't need much sleep," he says, so she shrugs and takes her place beside him.

An hour later, the popcorn bowl and their tea cups are empty and the Doctor is sleeping upright with his head lolled back against the backrest. She's never seen him sleep in this body, regeneration sickness aside, so she takes advantage of the situation and drinks him in. He's _gorgeous_. Rose doesn't regret what happened between them, she would rather have that stolen moment than nothing at all; although, she is disappointed she never had the chance to touch him. It would be so easy for her to reach out to trace his features with her fingers or run them through his hair, but she'd never do anything like that without his consent.

He moans softly in his sleep and slumps over to Rose's side. His head is now laying against her shoulder and his hands are resting close to her thigh. Oh. Okay. She really should wake him up, so he can get a good night's sleep, but she... Oh, she wants to be close to him. She wants it so much. Besides, he _needs_ to sleep. If she wakes him up, he'll just potter around the TARDIS, pretending to work, to avoid getting some rest. This isn't the first time he has dozed off on her shoulder, so she tells herself it's all right if she sits still. She'll wake him up as soon as the film is done, that way he'll get at least an hour of sleep.

It's close to impossible to focus on the plot. All she can think about is how good his hair smells and how much she loves feeling his body pressed against her side. She wonders how it is possible to adore someone so completely, even after he's changed every cell of his body, and can barely stop herself from placing a kiss on the top of his head at the thought.

He stirs in his sleep as the credits begin to roll, placing his right hand on her leg. The silk of her dressing gown separates his palm from her skin and his fingertips settle against her bare inner thigh. Right. This was what she should've avoided. If she wakes him up now, though, everything should be just fine. It's still innocent, it's still...

Oh, hell. He whimpers and cuddles closer, making his head slide down to rest on her chest. She's not wearing a bra and the fabric of her nightie is rather thin, making it so she can feel his lukewarm breath against her nipple. His lips can't be more than an inch from the already hardened peak and her heart begins to race at the thought of him being so close. Images of their time together fill her mind and she's getting turned on, but she knows this isn't something he would be all right with if he was awake. No, this is her taking advantage, so she draws in a deep breath and decides to wake him up.

She was always careful when waking up his previous self, who could become upset and, at times, almost violent if stirred from sleep abruptly, so she thinks it best to use the same approach since she is unsure of how he will react.

"Doctor?" she whispers gently. "Doctor, wake up. The film's done."

The credits end and the TARDIS shuts off the system automatically, shrouding the room in darkness.

"Oh, you gotta be kidding me," she mutters under her breath. She knows it's to preserve power needed elsewhere, and that's all well and good, but the time ship usually turns on another lightsource. Not this time, though, and Rose wonders if it's a conscious move by the TARDIS or if maybe _he_is doing it. "Doctor, wake up," she tries again, a little louder this time.

When he still doesn't stir, she decides to scoot to the side and place his head on a throw pillow but, before she has a chance to move, she hears him draw in a deep breath. _Really_ deep as though he were smelling her. She freezes. Does she smell..._bad_? She never did shower today and, besides getting a fresh pair of knickers, didn't bother changing out of her nightwear. She hears him breathe in again and then his hand slips under the hem of her dressing gown, touching her bare thigh. _Oooh_.

"Doc-doctor?" she whispers, voice shaky and mouth dry.

He's completely still, but his breathing has sped up, ever so slightly, and she's almost certain he's awake. She doesn't know what to do. This could lead to something, she's sure of it, but that's not really what he wants. If he's literally unable to control himself as soon as he touches or sees her naked skin, will he resent her for letting him? Or is the problem him wanting this but being too broken or thick to go about it the normal way? He is rather daft, after all... Oh, she wishes he would talk to her so she'd know, but he'd never do that, so she has to try her best to read him. She has to be honest with herself. It doesn't matter how much her body aches for him when this isn't what he wants.

"See, you _are_ tired," she tells him, quietly but firmly, and takes one of the throw pillows from behind her back. "Take this and I'll fetch you a blanket. Just lie down and fall back asleep and I'll see you tomorrow, all right?"

She doesn't get an answer.

"Doc-"

She shuts up when his fingers curl around her thigh and he leans down to suck on her nipple through the fabric of her night gown. She gasps and drops the pillow as her hand flies to the back of his head instinctively, whilst his fingers inch closer to her center, slipping under her knickers. He's awfully forward for someone that supposedly doesn't want this, she thinks. Nevertheless, she decides to go to her room because nothing good can come of this, no matter how wonderful it feels in the heat of the moment. If he can't control himself, she'll have to be the responsible adult and leave.

However, before she has a chance to stand up, she feels his fingers against her clit and she finds herself helping him touch her by spreading her legs. _Oh, fuck_. Heat pools inside her as he continues to pleasure her and she's filled with a powerful need to feel his naked body against hers. She wants to wrap her hand around his cock, taste his cool skin, nibble on his earlobe and gently bite his nipples. When she reaches out to unbutton his shirt, he stops touching her to grab her wrists firmly and position her on her back with her hands pinned down over her head. Without releasing her, he nuzzles his nose against the crook of her neck, breathing her in deeply, and nudges her legs apart with his knees. She thinks he might at least kiss her neck this time, but he scoots down and resumes teasing her nipple through her nightie instead. He bites and sucks, making her whimper, and the added friction from the fabric makes it even more fantastic.

He lets go of her wrists and moves down her body, pulling her dressing gown open and pushing her nightie up to her waist. He hooks his fingers under the waistband of her knickers, pulling them off along with her slippers, and settles between her legs. He places his hands under her bum, lifting her up a little, and tastes her with long, slow, steady licks. She grips the edge of the armrest with one hand and the backrest with the other to help her fight the urge to moan. She won't allow herself to be loud until he's fucking her, so she bites down hard on her lip to stay quiet when his tongue increases its speed and he moves one of his hands to slide two fingers inside her. He keeps thrusting and licking until she orgasms and she turns her head into one of the throw pillows to muffle her screams.

He rests his head on her still trembling thigh for a moment, tenderly petting her curls as he lets her catch her breath. As soon as she's calmed down a little, she feels his mouth on her hipbone, first nipping and then sucking until she's sure there's a mark, before he moves further up. He swirls his tongue around her navel, dipping in, and pushes her nightie all the way up to her neck, freeing her breasts so he can play with her nipples. She wonders if they'll do this face-to-face this time and hopes she'll finally get a chance to kiss him.

She can barely hide her disappointment when he flips her over and she, once again, finds herself on all fours with a horny Time Lord behind her. She hears him pull down his zipper, and then his trousers and pants as well, before entering her without ceremony. His movements are desperate and she uses the armrest for leverage to meet his thrusts. She lets herself be noisy and hopes it will inspire him to let go too but he stays silent. When he comes, he wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her close and burying his face into her hair. She's held upright by him, feeling his breath against her shoulder, and he's clinging to her tightly without saying a word or making another move. He just...stays, making her wonder what's happening, but then she feels him grow hard inside her again.

Oh.

He grinds his hips gingerly, as though he's silently asking for permission, so she leans forward, grabbing ahold of the armrest again, and mewls as she wiggles her bum against him. He starts off with lazy strokes until he's rock hard, and then he picks up the pace. She hears him wet his fingers with his mouth and then she feels them against her sex. It takes longer for her this time, but as soon as she climaxes, he tumbles after her and lets out a groan. She can't help but wonder if she'll ever know if he's just the silent type or if he's scared of breaking the spell by making noises during sex.

He still hasn't moved away, but she's completely sated and can't take a third round so she crawls forward, making him slip out of her. She wraps her dressing gown around her body, unsure of what to do next. It's pitch dark in the room but she hears him tucking himself back into his pants and trousers. She has the strong impression he doesn't want them to talk, and she doesn't know how to convey this isn't her rejecting him; she just doesn't want to be sore. She jumps up from the sofa when she hears him move and scrambles for his hand, giving it a squeeze. He returns the gesture and lingers for a second, making her think that maybe he's ready to acknowledge what is happening, but then he just leaves. The light in the room gets turned back on and she looks over her shoulder towards the door finding him already gone. Well, she can't say she's surprised, so she finds her knickers and walks back to her room to take a shower and go to bed.

It's when she's lathering herself with her strawberry body wash that it hits her. She hadn't showered today and he seemed to love the way she smelled. Well, he did complain about humans and their penchant for artificial scents, didn't he? He's so feral, this Doctor. The position he chooses as well as the smelling and tasting... Would it be unfair of her if she took advantage of this knowledge and only used perfume free products from here on out? Is she a bad person for wanting more? She rinses the suds off her body and her eyes catch the dark spot on her hip. Her heart flutters at the sight and she strokes the skin gently. Despite the conflicted emotions she should be feeling, she can't help but smile. It's like he marked her as his and she loves it.

* * *

Oh, Rassilon, he did it again. She even tried to leave this time and still he did it. The Doctor groans and hides his head in his hands, as he sits on the edge of his bed. This body is insatiable and his refractory period seems nonexistent. If she had she not crawled away from him after their second orgasms, he's not sure how many times he would have taken her. Did he hurt her? Would she say no if she didn't want him? Does she refrain from speaking because he wants her to or because she's afraid? No, she was aroused even before he did anything, he could smell it on her. She _does_ want him. Although, her being aroused doesn't mean anything. Look at him! He's aroused all the time and he doesn't want to, not really. Her smelling like that doesn't give him the right! It's not consent. She wouldn't want to be with an old, perverted man like him, especially not when he lacks the courage to look her in the eye, kiss her or talk to her about it. How can she still care for him after how he treats her? He knows he's a manipulative bastard at times, but she's so strong. He didn't break her already, did he? Bile rises in his throat and he runs to his ensuite and kneels in front of the toilet, heaving over the bowl.

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, undresses and steps into the shower to make an effort at washing away his sins. He can't keep doing this. He can't keep ruining her. He knows she will let him, though. She'll comfort this body by offering him hers just as she held his previous self all those nights. Rassilon, he can't take this anymore. The guilt is gnawing him raw. He could leave her... Just pack up her things, carry her out as she sleeps and leave. Or, tomorrow when she goes to see her mum, he could stay in the TARDIS and just dematerialise...

No! What's wrong with him? He can't do that to the one person who really deserves a proper goodbye. If he doesn't have to face her again, he can at least muster up the courage to apologise and explain to her that this isn't working for him anymore. Yes. He can do that. First thing tomorrow morning. He sucks in a ragged breath and exhales it slowly through his mouth. Yes. He can do this.

He towels his body dry and puts on his jimjams, making himself ready for bed. As far as he knows this isn't a sleepwalking body, but he asks the TARDIS to keep his bedroom door locked anyway. He needs to sleep, despite his nightmares. Tomorrow can't come quickly enough.

* * *

After waking up, showering, putting on her makeup and clothes, Rose grabs her jacket, a hat and pulls on a pair of boots. She feels amazing today, always does after great sex, and this time there's no worry hampering her mood. They've already been through this and she knows she won't have any difficulty facing him today. She runs her fingers over the wall as she walks to the console room, but this time it's to say good morning to the time ship. Her uncertainty from last time is now gone as she reaches the end of the hallway, so she skips happily the rest of the way to the jump seat and sits down, dangling her legs.

"You ready?"

The Doctor's head pops up from under the grating and she's glad to notice the dark circles under his eyes are gone. "Hm?"

"Aw, look at you. You've slept!" she says, beaming. "Good on you, Doctor. You needed that."

He climbs out and leans against the console, arms folded over his chest and legs crossed at the ankle. "Yeah, I suppose I did."

"So, you ready?"

"Rose, I, er..." He yanks a little on his ear. "See, there's this, ehm... Well, ever since..." He clears his throat, looking very uncomfortable.

If she didn't know any better she'd almost think he was ready to talk to her about what's happening between them, but considering they're about to travel again she finds it very unlikely. She's knows he'll jump at the chance of distracting them with the wonders of the universe to prevent them from dealing with anything emotional. This must be about something else. She hops off the seat and positions herself next to him, placing a hand on his arm to calm him.

"What is it?"

"Weeell, about leaving today..." he trails off, Adam's apple bobbing. "There's, eer..."

"Is something wrong with the TARDIS? Is she not ready?" She directs her eyes towards the ceiling. "Are you not feeling well?"

"Nah, she's...fine."

"Then what..." She smiles, watching him fidget with the different bits and bobs on the console. "Oh, I see."

His head snaps up. "You do?"

"You changed your mind, right?"

"Ehm...well..."

"That's fine. I get that you're restless and wanna leave right away. We've been here for over a month, after all. We'll just pop in, get my laundry and say bye, yeah? We'll be quick."

"Weeell," he drawls, rubbing his cheek and looking up. "You think your mother will slap me if I don't come with you today? Reckon you two might want some privacy. You've barely been alone one minute since we came back."

"Yeah, tell me about it," she says, rolling her eyes. "Can't get rid of you, can I?"

"Eeer..."

"I'm just joking." She grabs his hand, laughing, and pulls him with her towards the doors. "C'mon. Least you can do is say thanks and bye. It's the polite thing to do, Mr. Rude-and-not-ginger. All right?"

"Ehm..." he says, but makes no attempt to get out of her hold.

During their walk she tells him how the film ended and, since he seems increasingly relaxed for every word she speaks, goes into great detail about the actors' performances, the futuristic scenery and why the androids really needed those pincers. Her attention might have been on him yesterday, but she remembers enough to keep her mouth going until they reach her mum's front door.

"We're not staying," she tells her mother after they've entered the flat and done their usual greeting routine with hugs and kisses.

"But I was gonna cook breakfast!"

"Ehm, Rose you can stay for a while," the Doctor says. "I'll power up the TARDIS and she'll be good and ready for when you return. You can stay a couple of hours, at least."

She turns to him and leans in, quietly asking, "You sure?"

"Yep. Mhm. No problemo."

"Hm. All right..." She pushes him gently forward. "Now, go on."

"Oh. Right." He clears his throat, walks up to Jackie and starts shaking her hand. "Thank you for your hospitality and the cooking of the, ehm, breakfast and other..._sort of_ edible things. Aaand goodbye. See you around. Hasta la vista, baby." He cringes. "Maybe not that last part."

Jackie chuckles, shaking her head. "Was my pleasure. And, Doctor?" She holds up her hand close to his face. "Don't you go and forget what we talked about, you hear?"

"Nope," he squeaks, eyes wide, and heads for the door. He reaches for the handle, but stills and turns back around. "Rose...? Ehm...I'll...well..."

She walks up to him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it comfortingly. He's been so jittery this morning, practically bursting at the seams with wanderlust, and she feels guilty for ripping the TARDIS apart and stranding them here.

"I'm just gonna ask mum to cut my hair, all right, and then-"

"Oh? What's wrong with...er...this?" he interrupts, tugging at a few of her strands.

"Nothing. Well, it's dry and stuff. And I reckoned, new Doctor, new adventures, new Rose, yeah?" she explains, nodding and grinning. "Now, get. I'll be home before you know it. Won't even have time to miss me."

She opens the door, motioning him to go, but he pulls her in for a hug too tight to be casual and chills run through her body as she realises what he's doing. She shoves him away from her, narrowing her eyes and pointing at him.

"Are you leaving me behind?"

"What? No! No, no, no. Why would...? No," he says, and she thinks he's definitely looking busted.

"You..." She ducks her head, biting her lip, as she feels tears prickling behind her eyelids.

God, she should never have let him touch her. Why didn't she just walk away? She's so stupid! Her chin starts trembling slightly, but then she turns angry instead. Why is he punishing _her_, anyway? He's the one who can't keep his bloody hands to himself. She squares her jaw, putting her hands on her hips à la Jackie Tyler and opens her mouth to give him a piece of her mind, but before she's got a word out the Doctor's hanging up his coat on a hook.

"I'm not! Go do your thing. I'll wait," he says, walking past her and into the living room, turning on the telly.

"What was that about, then?" her mother asks.

"No idea," Rose replies, shaking her head.

"Go wait for me in the kitchen. I'll fetch my things and I'll fix your hair, sweetheart. Maybe ring Mickey, too? Can't leave without letting him know, poor thing."

"Yeah, all right," Rose says, sighing.

It's been a little weird between her and Mickey since she came back. She thought they broke it off a long time ago, but it seems like Mickey thinks she might want him back now that the Doctor has regenerated. Oh, god, she's just as bad as the Doctor! Instead of sitting down and having a proper chat with Mickey, she avoided him, hoping he'd get the hint. Oh, well. She does still love him as a good friend and wants to say goodbye, so she might as well ring him. If being on the Game Station taught her anything, it's that you never know when you'll see a person for the last time. She thinks about Jack every day, wishing she had been able to say goodbye to him, and refuses to make the same mistake with her oldest friend.

* * *

Jackie finished cutting and styling Rose's hair in time for Mickey to stop by for lunch. It's now several hours later and they're finally on their way back to the TARDIS. The Doctor was planning to leave her behind-and, yes, he feels incredibly guilty over that-but when she called the TARDIS_home_, and he saw the hurt in her eyes as she confronted him, he knew he could never go through with it. The threat of a Jackie slap pales in comparison to the challenges a pregnancy would present, so he'll have to prevent that from happening. He's certain he'll be able to control himself once they're off-world, since he'll stop being bored and restless, but it's always good to have a backup plan. Ha, imagine that! He, of all people, having a backup plan. Well, two to be completely accurate.

There's a pill he can take which will dampen his urges. It's not optimal since it would make him drowsy-well, he says drowsy, but in actuality it makes him fall very much asleep-so he can only use it in the TARDIS when there's nothing in need of fixing and there isn't anything dangerous lurking about. He doesn't have any of those pills in the infirmary, since it's not something he's in need of very often, but a quick trip to New New York will help him stock up. His other plan is to just bite the bullet and give her a contraceptive shot. Hopefully, it won't come to that.

He rushes forward as he sees his beautiful, blue time ship. Rose lingers outside to say goodbye to her mother and Mickey, but the Doctor is eager to get away from this place. He throws his coat over one of the coral struts and starts powering up the console room. It's time to go further than they've ever gone together before!


	7. Acceptance

The view on New Earth is spectacular: endless plains of apple grass; sunlight filtered through thick clouds rolling across the sky; still dark blue waters surrounding the heart of New New York, and, yet, all he notices are the curves of Rose's body. She's on her side, back to him, having a kip on his coat, leaving him to get lost in his fantasies. He would run his fingers up her thigh until he reaches her hip, give it a squeeze and then find the hem of her top. He would slide his hand under it and pull her close by pressing his palm against her stomach. She's always so warm and soft and her skin so inviting. He would unzip her trousers and find his way down her knickers... No! They're travelling now and he'd best throw himself headfirst into something in need of fixing instead of allowing himself to be tempted by her. This isn't something he needs to survive; it's him merely _indulging_ and it has to stop before things go too far.

Although...

She's _right there_ in front of him, looking so inviting and her enticing scent is overpowering even the fragrant apple grass. Just one more for the road wouldn't do any harm, would it? A fare thee well and a last hurrah before a long life of abstinence. They could lie just like this, looking out over the ocean. After removing her trousers and knickers, he'd lift up her leg and pull it back and over his hip so he could just slide into her slick heat. Afterwards, she could resume her kip since humans tend to fall asleep so easily, especially after intercourse.

"Rose? Are you sleeping?" He leans in closer, shutting out the sounds of the strong winds to focus on her breathing.

"Almost. Got distracted by the view," she murmurs. "That city... What's it called?" she asks, flipping over on her back.

Oh, she wants a quick Doctor lecture, not a quick... Well, okay, that's...good. He dodged a bullet there, didn't he? This is definitely for the best. No more shagging his young companion.

He proceeds to enthusiastically tell her about New Earth and the city of New New York.

"You're so different," she says, once he's finished. Her windswept hair is shrouding her face, but he catches the thoughtful look in her eye. She's noticing, not judging, and she's right. He's very different this time around and he's honestly doubtful his previous selves would approve had they met.

"New new Doctor," he jokes and she smiles.

"Are you, though? Or are you new new new new new new..." She flashes him her wonderful Rose Tyler grin and tucks a few wayward strands behind her ear. He likes her new hair. She looks more mature, which makes him feel like less of a perverted old man.

"Number ten, this," he says, patting himself on the stomach.

Her eyebrows fly towards her hairline and then she shakes her head at him, smirking. "Ten?! And you're calling _me_ jeopardy friendly. Bit rich, yeah?"

"Hey! This life can be quite hazardous," he says with a sniff.

"Tell me about it..." she agrees. "What's it like? The changing. Does it hurt?"

He shrugs. "Sometimes."

"Did it...? This time, how was it?"

"Can't remember," he says truthfully. "I know I removed the vortex from you and that we went into the TARDIS, but after that... No one's supposed to have all of that in them, you know. Did quite the number on me...well, on the TARDIS, too. She wasn't damaged purely by what you did. We're bonded mentally and she suffers as I suffer, and vice versa. That's why she was crashing into things as we went back to your mother."

"M'sorry," she says with an apologetic smile.

"No need to be sorry, Rose. You saved us."

"Yeah, I know. And you saved me," she says. "Will you remember some day, then?"

"Probably, yeah, given enough time..."

"Will I?"

He tilts his head, looking at her and thinking about the kiss he's avoided telling her about. "What _do_ you remember?"

"Nothing much. Just that I wanted to help and then we were in the TARDIS again and you... Well, you changed and I was really scared."

He chuckles. "Yeah, I noticed. Really, though, Rose. Slitheen? In this body?" he asks, running his hands down his slim torso.

"Well I dunno!" she says, laughing. "Was a traumatic experience, all right? Wasn't thinking clearly." She looks out over the landscape, eyes lingering at the skyline of the city. "Can we go and visit New New York? So good they named it twice." She leans over him a little as she gets up and he has to focus so he doesn't grab her and pull her down so he can have his way with her.

"Well, I thought we might go there first," he says, looking at the hospital by the shore. His psychic paper is nudging him gently in his mind, telling him that someone's sent him a message. Perfect. This is just what he needs to get his mind off Rose.

* * *

A bitchy trampoline has hijacked Rose's body and is currently running around the hospital whilst Rose can't do anything but watch. Being compressed by the barmy mind of the Last Human, as Cassandra calls herself, is a strange sensation. It's definitely claustrophobic but also rather interesting. Rose has, by a combination of a little knowledge and a lot of instinct, luckily managed to lock up all her precious memories and thoughts. On their first date, as they like to call it, the Doctor told her he'd know in his mind if there were more Time Lords out there. They've met a handful of telepathic species since then, and he's talked to her about mental shields and how his own abilities work. She's not been practising, but it seems she has enough innate talent to prevent Cassandra from accessing her private thoughts. This leaves her free to focus purely on what the hell Cassandra is up to-not that she can prevent her from doing anything stupid.

When Rose is in control of her own body, her impulses occasionally sneak up on her. However, now that she's merely a passenger in her own body, she can see these impulses coming a mile away. Therefore, it felt like an hour passed between Rose realising that Cassandra was going to kiss the Doctor and actually feeling their lips connecting.

A very agonising hour.

She can't believe their first kiss is going to be like this after everything that's happened between them since his regeneration. God, he must think she's completely mental, throwing herself on him like this. On the other hand, this could be a blessing in disguise. This way she'll know how he'd react to a kiss without having to be responsible for it. Rose, being the positive person she is, decides to maintain that mindset since she can't stop Cassandra. Yeah. This is a good thing. Maybe it will further things along between them.

Oh. Or not.

Wow. That's... Yeah, great. Bloody _fantastic_. The Doctor's just standing there like a blooming muppet, hands shoved into his pockets and absolutely not parting his lips whatsoever. Damn. Just-just... Oh, bloody piece of shite Cassandra. Once Rose has her body back she's gonna... Well, whatever she can do to a bitch who lost her trampoline and went incorporeal.

This kiss isn't likely to be addressed considering Rose and the Doctor have been having sex without changing things between them. Right? She can't picture him having a sit down where he explains how she can't spring a snog on him like that. No, he will most likely pretend it never happened, which is quite all right with her. As long as he understands that it was purely Cassandra, that is. Well, the truth of the matter is that Rose's body is still very much attracted to the Doctor. Cassandra might have no qualms about jumping someone's bones, but Rose knows it's her own hormones motivating the other woman. He doesn't need to know that, though.

The longer Cassandra stays in Rose's body; however, the less she worries about that snog. It's silly compared to how frustrated she feels about not being able to help. This is supposed to be her first adventure with her new Doctor and she can't even do anything! Cassandra is bloody useless, standing around watching her nails and thinking really offensive thoughts about everyone else in the room. Rose is screaming internally, trying to get Cassandra to get her act together, but she goes unheard. She's merely feeling frustrated at first, but with each passing hour the experience turns tortuous. She feels crushed under the weight of Cassandra's deranged mind and she's sure she won't make it unless the Doctor finds another host for the other woman soon.

This would've never happened had he just held the lift for her and that knowledge leaves her feeling betrayed. Why did he leave her behind? It's not like him at all. Or, well, it didn't use to be... Does this Doctor not care about her safety? Was it...oh, god, was it _intentional_? She's fairly certain he was going to leave her at her mum's flat before she confronted him. Is he trying to get rid of her? Rose's thoughts and feelings are in constant struggle with Cassandra, but the other woman continues to stay in control. This hinders Rose from compartmentalising or pushing her feelings away, making her feel like there is nowhere to hide. Panic floods her and, even though her physical body manages just fine, she feels like she can't breathe. She needs to get out! She needs her body back. Why didn't he just wait for her outside the lift?

However, when Cassandra finally leaves her body for good Rose is ecstatic. The relief of being back is heightened by the fact that the Doctor smiles at her as though he utterly adores her. That's not the face of a man who tried to get rid of his companion. He keeps touching her and she thinks maybe the sex isn't only about release after all. He kept his hands off her whilst Cassandra controlled her, so maybe it's all about Rose.

* * *

Today was a good day. They met an old friend as well as an old foe, helped thousands of innocent people and had fun to boot. Granted, being possessed by Cassandra wasn't the highlight of the Doctor's life, but at least he's back in the game. He's sitting in a plush armchair, cuppa in hand, unwinding with Rose in the library just like old times. They formed this habit shortly after she joined him in his travels, and it was one of the things he missed most during their stay at the Estate. Sitting in the library together wasn't the same when the most dangerous thing that happened to them was Jackie's cooking.

They usually sit side by side watching the faux fireplace crackle but not tonight. He can't afford to, considering what happened last time they snuggled up closely together, so she's sprawled out alone on the sofa. She's been quiet for a while and looks concerned. He's knows he should ask her what's wrong, but he's afraid the conversation will turn into something domestic now that they've been intimate. His conscience is trying to push him into asking anyway but he keeps fighting back.

"Why didn't you wait for me?" she finally asks, unknowingly solving his dilemma.

She doesn't add that the previous him would have held the lift, but he knows she's thinking it. It's written all over her face. He can't help but wonder if she often compares this him to the old him. Does she miss the man he was when he wore a daft, old face? Does she still want him to change back? Would she allow the old him to...?

"Eer," he says, tugging at his ear. He couldn't very well tell her the truth, could he? Her breasts were too enticing in her purple garment, so he talked about shops and ran for the lift to distract both of them. Besides, ending up in the same lift as her and getting all wet by the disinfectant? No. No, no, no, no. That would _not_ have been good.

"Weeell, no reason, really," he lies.

"'Kay..."

"I did call you on your mobile!" he says to prove he cares.

"I know. I was there. Sort of," she mumbles.

"Are you...are you all right, Rose?" he asks, despite his fear for domestics. She looks a bit too unhappy for him to be comfortable. If it were up to him, she'd always be smiling.

"Yeah."

"...and your head? Is it...?"

"S'fine," she says, sitting up and rolling her shoulders.

She lost the purple zip up, so she's only wearing the top with the big buttons. Buttons Cassandra undid and Rose hasn't bothered to button up. Big buttons hiding Rose's beautiful bosom. Distracting, that. Good, though. Not the cleavage, although, it's rather spectacular but Cassandra doing what she did. He knew something was off as soon as he saw Rose showing all of that skin, since it's not very like her. Well, unless they're at some sort of fancy event, of course, because then she usually wears... No. Stop it!

Where was he? Oh, right. Cassandra. Yes, the cleavage and the voice gave it away. He didn't understand exactly _what_ was going on, but he knew something was wrong and that was bloody lucky. When not-Rose threw herself at him, it was that knowledge alone that made him behave like a gentleman instead of doing something he really shouldn't do in public. Or at all. The kiss was still good, though, brilliant even; he can barely keep himself from reliving the moment in his mind. He keeps wondering how much better it would be if he shared a kiss with an unpossessed Rose. He'd open up, let her plunge her little pink tongue into his mouth and-

"TARDIS to the Doctor?" Rose says, waving her arms and looking a bit amused.

He tears his eyes from her lips. "Hm?"

"Should I expect headaches?"

"Oh! Yes, it's common after having your mind invaded like that. You might feel a bit hungover tomorrow."

"Great," she groans, pouting. "Does the hangover pill work?"

"Nope. Not the same thing at all. But if you feel poorly tomorrow just tell me and I'll take care of you." What? No! _It_. He meant it. Oh, bugger.

"Really? In what way? Like breakfast in bed, that sort of thing?" she says, smiling widely.

"Er, no. Was thinking more in the line of giving you some painkillers."

"Oh," she says, grin turning into a disappointed frown and all he wants is to make her happy again.

"Ehm. Weeell..." He imagines what would happen if he walked into her room one morning to surprise her with some...breakfast. She'd be in bed, looking tousled from sleep, and, hopefully, wearing that large tee with no knickers like last time he found himself in her bedroom and... He breathes in deeply. "This Sunday," he says, a bit too loudly. "How's that?"

"Wha'? Are you serious?"

"Yeah, sure, yep. Why not? Gotta take care of my little human." He groans inwardly as he realises what he said, but she doesn't seem to notice or, at least, doesn't mention it.

"Looking forward to it," she says, but instead of smiling she looks thoughtful. He can tell she zones out and, since he can't think of anything else to say, the conversation soon dwindles.

She's biting her thumbnail, undoubtedly thinking about things that make her nervous. He doesn't dare to ask her about it, since it's probably about the shagging. They spend eleven minutes and twenty six seconds in almost companionable silence before she gets up, sighing, and saunters over to one of the many bookshelves.

"Gonna read for a bit," she says.

Ever since Jack joined them she's been reading trashy novels from his time. He had a copy with him when he came onboard-something about a polygamist whose wives were all of different species-and Rose has bought several like it since. The Doctor's tried to get her to read something more substantial, but she just rolls her eyes at him and keeps reading trite.

She stretches her body, leaning first to her left and then her right. Does she know what her movements do to him? Is this her way of showing him she wants him, too? She clearly enjoyed it both times, but that doesn't mean she wants it to continue. No, she does want him. Yes, she has too much integrity to hand out pity shags to frustrated Time Lords.

"Feel a bit stiff, though," she says, looking over her shoulder. "Is that normal?"

He manages to move his eyes from her bum to her face before she notices where he was staring. "Yes, I suppose so. With her behind the wheel your whole body language changed. She walked differently, stood differently..."

"Talked differently."

"Oh, yes," he says, chuckling. "Thought you'd gone bonkers, there, for a minute."

"Clung to your back differently," she adds, grinning, but then she sighs and returns her attention to the bookshelf. "I would've loved jumping down a lift shaft, but since I had to put up with Cassandra controlling my body it kinda took the excitement out of it."

"Well, maybe I can find you some lift shafts to jump down, then?"

"Yeah I'd like that," she says absentmindedly, rising on tippy-toes to get something from one of the top shelves.

Grunting, she strains her body to get as tall as possible, fingers trying to get ahold of the book, and he fails miserably as he tries not to stare at the skin exposed by her top riding up.

"Ugh. Little help?" she asks, turning around again. "Put that height of yours to good use, Doctor."

Had he been in his right mind he would most likely tell her that the ladder is two rows back but, as it happens, he's very much bewitched by his pink and yellow human and that makes him think with a rather brainless part of his anatomy. He walks up to her, positions himself right behind her and steadies himself by leaning one hand against the shelf and reaching up for the book with his other. He's close enough to hear her breath hitch when he holds up the book in front of them instead of giving it to her and stepping away. On the cover there's a black haired lady kneeling next to a blue skinned shuttle mechanic against a moonlit backdrop. His previous self would've scoffed and made fun of Rose's choice but not this him. He just holds the book, waiting for her to take it, knowing she won't. Not when he's hugging her from behind, pressing his erection into her back and nudging her hair aside with his nose so he can breathe in the scent of her neck.

He never should have done it the first time; it's like he's opened a floodgate and he can't stop. His body craves more; she's always there and always willing. Why shouldn't he do what he wants? They're two consenting adults in need of release. The best of friends who trust one another with their lives. She's proven to him that she understands and can handle an arrangement such as this. She's a woman of the 21st century, for Rassilon's sake, she must have had some sort of friends-with-benefits situation before. He's not corrupting her, so why even bother fighting it?

He drops the book on the floor and starts unbuttoning her top from behind, as he telepathically tells the TARDIS to turn down the lights. He can see perfectly well as long as it's not completely pitch dark, but Rose can't and he prefers it that way. He removes her top and her bra and runs his fingers over her back, smiling as she shivers. This time he wants to feel her against his own skin, so he makes quick work of his buttons and opens up his shirt, but keeps it on since he's not comfortable being naked just yet. After encircling her waist with his arms, he starts on her trousers and she aides him by shimmying her hips as he tugs down the garment. She steps out of her trousers when they land on the floor and lets her knickers follow suit, leaving her naked before him. After quickly divesting himself of clothing, save the shirt, he pulls her close, revelling in the feel of her against him. They both gasp when his cool body meets her warmth, and she leans her head back as he nips at the soft flesh where her shoulder meets her neck.

Bending his knees, he pulls her right leg up, hooking it over his arm and slides his erection between her folds in gentle movements. She leans into him and moans every time he nudges her clit, making him even harder, and he breathes heavily into her ear. His free hand cups her breast before circling her areola with the tip of his finger and, as it peaks, he rolls it between his thumb and forefinger. She's moving her hips and making needy noises in the back of her throat, increasing the urgency he feels to be inside her _now_.

After dropping her leg he steps back, grabbing her hip with one hand and placing his other on the small of her back. He makes her bend over slightly and arch her back to give him easier access as he positions himself at her entrance and, one smooth movement later, he's buried deeply inside her. It never felt quite like this before her and he needs to take a moment to collect himself. Sex has always been fun but with her it's_brilliant_. She's always so hot, tight and wet and it's all for him. A part of him wants to shout it from the rooftops, proving to the world that he can make this fantastic woman melt in his hands. This time he's pushing the guilt to the back of his mind so he can be here, in the now, and truly enjoy fucking Rose Marion Tyler.

Rose grabs ahold of a shelf for leverage, humming in time with his thrusts and touching herself with her free hand. He feels her arm brushing against him and it turns him on even more as he pictures her rubbing her clit up and down and then in circles. He knows how women from her time often get chastised for having a healthy sexual appetite, so her being comfortable enough to touch herself right now makes him feel privileged. Releasing her hip, he grabs her wrist and pulls her hand up to his face to suck her fingers into his mouth and taste her. _Mmm_, he'd taste her every day if she let him. He wants to know if her flavour changes depending on where she is in her cycle and if he can make her gush. Thinking of all the ways he can please her with his mouth, he keeps licking her fingers until her digits are thoroughly wet from his saliva. He places her hand back between her legs and starts thrusting in earnest as she resumes playing with her clit.

He keeps pounding into her, as fast and hard as the slightly awkward position allows him, until she shatters around him, shouting out her orgasm into the darkness of the room. He loves that she's so loud; every time she moans, gasps, whimpers or screams he wants her even more. She raises her hand over her shoulder, making her fingers available for him if he's so inclined. Oh, she already knows him so well. He sucks greedily on them, loving how her flavour fills his mouth, as he chases his own climax. When he comes, it's so intense he has to release her fingers so as not to bite them, and he doesn't allow himself too long to rest before he lifts her up and carries her over to the sofa, laying her across the armrest. Her gorgeous arse is in the air and he runs his hands over her soft flesh, admiring her form, before dropping down on his knees and licking her until she comes for a second time. Quickly, he enters her with a soft moan whilst she's riding out the remaining waves of her orgasm. He takes a moment to enjoy how she clenches around him before he begins to move.

Time travel mucks up a woman's cycle and, thankfully, she's still not ovulating or menstruating, but tomorrow morning he'll give her that contraceptive shot because now he's going to allow himself to really explore her. This won't be their last time. Not even close.

* * *

Rose sits on one of the two gurneys in the infirmary watching the Doctor gather things from the drawers and shelves. He claims he needs to make sure she didn't catch anything yesterday when they were in New New York but, if that were true, wouldn't he have done so right away instead of fucking her for hours? After the bookshelf, they had sex over the sofa armrest, the coffee table and up against one of the walls. She's a bit sore today and shifts around to get comfortable, wondering if he's noticing. Despite him never talking, kissing or facing her during sex, she felt as though last night was different somehow. Intense, yes, but not desperate. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what changed, but it felt as if he was more present. She hopes this progression will continue because, even though she loves how focused he is on her needs, she really wishes she could touch and taste him as well.

"I'll only need some blood to run tests and then you'll get a few shots," he says, picking up a syringe.

"Shots?"

"Yes. Vaccine for your average space-and-time-diseases. You know," he says, tilting his head and sniffing. "Stuff."

"Huh," she says, not believing a word. When she first came aboard he did a complete check up and gave her a bunch of shots for the diseases the TARDIS can't protect her from. He said the shots would have her set for years.

She watches him fill up six tubes with her blood, label them and put them away, and wonders how she will get more information out of him.

"Will I get a fever this time, too?"

"Hm?"

"I got a fever last time, remember? You know, side effect."

"Oh, right. Yes."

"I'll get a fever," she states.

His eyebrows fly up. "Eeer, no. No... Weeell, maybe. There are other side effects as well."

"...such as?"

He sighs, looking at the ceiling. "Weeell, you'll be a bit moody for a few days, probably, and then...youwon'tmenstruateforayear," he rushes out.

She blinks a few times and bites her lip to stop herself from telling him how much of a dunce he is. Well, she is one too, she supposes. She assumed there was no need for protection, since she never thought he'd shag her if pregnancy was a possibility.

"Is that all right?" he quietly asks, not looking at her.

"Yeah," she breathes, knowing what he really means. He relaxes a little, but doesn't make a move to inject her, so she asks, "And where will you give me these shots, Doctor?"

"Your left buttock," he says, busying himself with preparing the needles.

It might be silly of her, considering he's already seen all of her, but she can't help but feel uncomfortable. It's so bright in the infirmary and he's wearing that professional, detached mask of his and she hates it. She fumbles with the button fly of her jeans with trembling fingers and it takes her several seconds to realise it might be easier if she stands up. Once on her feet she manages to scoot down the fabric and expose her bum. He makes a twirling motion with his index finger, so she turns around and bends over slightly, readying herself for the shot. He's quick and she barely feels a thing, but as she starts pulling her jeans back up he stops her by grabbing her wrist.

"Wait," he says, and butterflies flutter around in her belly, making her pulse race.

"Yeah?" she manages to get out.

"Which plaster do you prefer? Forgot to ask."

She turns around to find him holding out two different brands: one TARDIS blue with yellow stars and one with a very popular kawaii cartoon from the 36th century. He looks so adorably serious that she gets the strongest urge to throw away the plasters and plant a sloppy smooch on his lips, but she can't do that. She laughs instead, a big, liberating belly laugh, and his clinical mask falls as he starts giggling as well.

"I'll take the one with the stars," she says and he puts it on. "Will I get a lolly too?"

"D'you want one?"

"D'you keep 'em?"

"Actually I do," he says, looking proud. He pulls out a drawer, sticks his hand in and rummages through it for a couple of seconds before shoving a pink lolly in her face. "Here you go!" he chirps, beaming.

"Thanks, Doctor." She pulls off the wrapper, pops the treat into her mouth and watches him watching her. Very aware of the double entendre, she takes it out again to huskily ask, "Wanna taste?"

It's a daring move and her heart is pounding. She's almost one hundred percent sure he'll joke it off or pretend he doesn't understand what she means, but she can't pass up the opportunity. Shaking his head, he quirks an eyebrow and pulls out the drawer again.

"When I can have one of my own?" He snorts, grabs a handful of lollies and shoves them into one of his transdimensional pockets. "So, Rose Tyler. Ready for another adventure?"

"You know it!" she says and pops her treat back into her mouth.

"Maybe you should pull up your trousers, then, hm?" he points out, smirking at her.

"Oh!"

She makes herself decent and then she skips out to the console room, definitely blushing but not really being bothered by it. She has a good feeling about all of this. He didn't take her up on her offer just now, but he wouldn't give her that shot unless he wanted to keep shagging her. The rest is just a question of time and she can be patient.


	8. Arrangement

Rose has braved many threats and dangers since meeting the Doctor without suffering from nightmares. However, that all changed after their visit to New New York and now the same dream haunts her every time she falls asleep. She's a puppet on a stage with Cassandra looming overhead and cackling diabolically. It doesn't matter that she's nothing more than a flap of skin because she still manages to pull all of Rose's strings, forcing her to do things she wouldn't normally do.

Rose isn't really all that surprised by her dreams considering being in control of her own person has always been of the utmost importance to her. This became even more significant to her after what happened with Jimmy. He wasn't a master of manipulation, but she was sixteen and impressionable whilst he was fit, older and really wicked. He didn't allow her to work or go to school; she was supposed to take care of him. However, nothing she did was good enough and he was constantly putting her down. It wasn't until he hit her that she saw him for who he truly was. It only took him crossing that line once for her to leave and never look back.

She had nightmares afterward where she dreamt about him keeping her locked up in his flat. Her mum was there for her back then, but now the only person Rose has is the Doctor. There was a time when she felt comfortable asking him to stay by her side as she slept but, after recent changes in their relationship, she is no longer certain where the lines are drawn. Instead, she keeps her nightmares to herself and an entire week passes before he notices something is wrong.

It's during the middle of the night when she stumbles into the galley to make herself some chamomile tea. She has no idea if the tea will help her sleep, but she's prepared to try anything at this point because she's exhausted. Her old nan always goes on about the calming properties of the herb, so Rose reckons it's worth a shot. She has just finished preparing her cuppa when the Doctor walks in.

"You up?"

"Evidently," she replies, tongue between her teeth as she grins.

His eyes rove over her face and, knitting his brow, he says, "This is not the first time, is it?"

She has been attempting to cover up her exhaustion with makeup during the day, but it still surprises her it took him this long to notice she's tired. They don't usually talk much about how their adventures affect them, so she shrugs and takes a sip of her tea and smiles weakly.

"What's wrong?"

"Dunno. S'just Cassandra. Dream about her all night and then... S'weird, yeah? Dunno how to explain it, but s'like I wake up but I can't move. She's standing by the foot of my bed just staring at me and I can't..." She's safe in the galley with the Doctor and yet fear creeps up along her spine and she has to take a moment to breathe before continuing. "I can't move. Try real hard, but it's no use. And I scream. I scream all the time, trying to get help, but there's no sound. Was like that when she was inside me. Fought so hard to regain control, but there was nothing I could do. And now I just relive it, I suppose."

"Hm. Sounds like sleep paralysis to me."

"Like wha'?"

"During the REM cycle the body weakens the muscles to prevent the sleeper from acting out their dreams and hurting themselves in their sleep. Sometimes, often in the more stressful periods of your life, your REM sleep can be disrupted without your body catching on. So, basically, you're paralysed whilst awake. Well, I say awake but you're not entirely lucid, are you? Hallucinations of intruders are common. Cassandra standing by your bed fits the bill, I'd say."

"Oh." She puts her cup on the kitchen table and sits down, scratching her head. "Never even heard of that before. So, is there something I can do about it?"

"Well," he says, expression concerned, "trying not to be so anxious, which is easier said than done. You're scared of falling asleep, which increases the risk of suffering from the condition. That, in turn, makes you fear sleep even more, and round and round it goes. Vicious cycle, that." He took a few tentative step towards her, holding up his right hand to her temple. "I could... I mean, er... I'd be but a second and you'd get a whole night of uninterrupted sleep."

She stares incredulously at him, hands flying up to cover her temples. "What, you mean go in my head? What's wrong with you?"

"Ehm..." He scrunches up his face, thinking. "Ah. Tactless?"

"You think? Just told you all about how someone invading my mind gives me nightmares and you wanna do the same?"

"To be fair it's not quite the same thing."

No, it's not the same thing and she's very aware of that. Unlike Cassandra, he wouldn't invade and conquer Rose's mind, but she has already given him her body and her heart and she can't afford to give him the only part of her that's left. He's so much more powerful than Cassandra and Rose is scared that she wouldn't be able to conceal her feelings for him.

"Don't care. You're not touching my head," she says, looking sternly at him.

"I won't!"

"Good." She stands up, walks to the sink and pours out the rest of the tea, putting down the cup on the counter. "I'll just give it another go, then. Night."

She's almost out in the hallway before he speaks up.

"Rose, wait. Eeehm, I could...sit with you...if you want."

Turning around, she says, "Sit?"

"Well, yeah. You have that chair... Or, no, I could get the TARDIS to move one of the armchairs from the library."

"You gonna sit in a chair all night and do what? Stare at the ceiling? No." She shakes her head. "I'll be all right."

"But...you won't, will you?" he says, concern written clearly on his face. "You look... Rose, I..." He shoves his hands into his pockets, watching his own feet as they scuff at the floor. "I need to sleep as well. Ehm... Just go get ready and I'll join you shortly. I mean, if that's all right with you? I just need to change into my jimjams and brush my teeth."

"Brush your teeth?" she asks, because the old him never had to and the rest of what he just said makes her too nervous to acknowledge it.

"Yeah, don't really need it. Time Lord. But this mouth likes it," he says, giving her a lopsided grin.

"Huh," she says, shaking her head to clear it from dirty thoughts about other things his new mouth seems to like. "Yeah, all right. Like before."

"Yep. Just like before," he says in a light tone, but she sees the serious look in his eye.

"Just like before," she confirms.

* * *

The pills he picked up in New New York are small, yellow and have a citrusy tang. He put one on his tongue to melt right after he finished brushing his teeth and now he's pulling on his pyjama bottoms, trying not to be nervous. Sleeping in the same bed as Rose is a bad idea, but she looked gaunt and that just won't do. He suffered from sleep paralysis occasionally after the war and he knows how terrifying it is. He won't let her go through that alone when he knows his presence would help her relax and keep the nightmares at bay.

There's another reason as to why he suggested sharing a bed: he knows he's partially to blame for her exhaustion. They have sex every evening and their nightly activities are cutting into her sleeptime, but he didn't realise that until now. It's been a lot for her lately and he has selfishly focused on his own needs. Not tonight, though. No, tonight it's all about Rose and making sure she gets her rest. He'll be out like a light for seven to eight hours with no libido whatsoever once the pill starts working.

He walks to her room and he's already feeling the effect as he knocks on her door. However, he knows how strongly this body reacts to her, so he's doesn't relax until she opens the door and he finds himself completely in control of his urges.

"Aren't those Howard's?" she asks, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yep! Reckoned it's rather fitting since I won a swordfight last time I wore them. I'm here to be your knight in pinstriped jimjams after all," he says, beaming.

"Yeah." She grabs his hand and gives it a friendly squeeze. "Thanks. Really appreciate it."

They walk over to her bed, hand in hand, and curl up facing each other. The pillow he's using smells of her and he snuggles his face into it as she pulls the covers up over them. He hears her whispering something, but he's already drifting off, happy to fall asleep encompassed in the scent of his pink and yellow human.

He wakes up, six hours, forty three minutes and five seconds later, and finds himself spooning her. Focusing inwardly to scan his system, he finds he still has another hour before the pill will stop working, so he allows himself thirty minutes of snuggling. It feels nice enjoying her without being driven by lust, so he pulls her even closer and nuzzles her neck. She's sleeping soundly, snoring lightly, and he hopes he can slip out of her room before she wakes up.

This quiet moment is just for him.

* * *

The Doctor isn't there when Rose wakes up and the empty spot beside her is cold. She's disappointed, albeit not surprised, at first and, after a quick glance at her mobile, realises she's been out for eleven hours. He must've turned off her alarm, knowing she needed the rest, and she is grateful for it. She's rubbing her eyes and yawning when the door opens and the Doctor walks in with a full tray in his hands. There is a stack of pancakes with syrup and butter; a bowl of fresh fruits, crisp bacon; toast and a steaming cuppa all situated neatly on the tray, making her stomach growl in anticipation.

"Hello!" he says, approaching the bed and placing the tray on her nightstand.

"Uhm. Did you hit your head or something? Not that I'm complaining, mind you."

"Eeer," he says, scratching the back of his head, "never did give you that breakfast last Sunday, did I?"

"No. Never thought you would, though," she replies, smiling.

"Oh? Well, I'm a man of my word! Sort of. Weeell, better late than never, hm?"

"Definitely," she says, stuffing her mouth full of toast.

"Well, I'll leave you to it, then," he says, backing out of the room.

"You're not going to eat with me?"

"Wasn't planning on it, no."

"But..." she starts, but thinks better of it and gives him a smile instead, hoping she sounds convincing. "All right. See you later, then. And, uhm, thanks, Doctor."

It's obvious he can see right through her and, with a gentle look in his eye, he walks up to her bed, raising his eyebrows as he leans forward to inspect the tray.

"Weeeell, suppose I could have a few of those banana slices," he says, sitting down gingerly on the edge of her bed.

"That's something that didn't change."

"Hm?"

"Bananas. You loved them before."

"Of course! Bananas are good for you, Rose."

"Oh, I know. Someone won't shut up about it," she teases, poking him in the side. "Gotta be good, though. Some changes. Reckon you'd get sick of yourself if you stayed the same for centuries."

"Yeah..." He clears his throat. "Ehm, do you... Well, I mean, since we're on the topic... D'you still...? Eeer, when we, ehm," he says, rubbing his neck. "You wanted me to change back. You know before... After the whole...thing."

She gets up on her knees and shuffles closer, so she can put her arms around him and give him a hug. The way he's seated makes it a bit awkward, but she feels him relax as she runs her hands up and down his back.

"I do miss the old you sometimes, to be honest. You want me to be, right?" she asks and feels him nodding. "Well, I do, but this you seems...happier. Are you happier?"

"Suppose I am, yeah. Not...well, it's not..."

"It's still there, but it's not as heavy, right?" she filled in for him, since he didn't seem to know how to finish his sentence.

"Yeah. Exactly. I'm not...yeah. Burden's easier."

"Good. That's... I'm glad," she says, squeezing him a bit tighter. "And you're still my best mate, Doctor. I wouldn't want you to change back."

"Yeah?" he says quietly.

"Yes." She pulls back and grabs a strip of bacon from the plate. "Besides, the old you would never have given me breakfast in bed, would he?"

"Probably not, no," he admits with a smile.

"Well, then," she says, taking a big bite. "I rest my case. Where are we going today?"

"Oh, I was planning on..."

She listens to him rattle on about the destination he's chosen, whilst finishing her breakfast. He steals the rest of the banana slices, eats most of the pancakes and he uses her cup for tea. He makes it much too sweet for her liking but she doesn't mind. This is the best start to her day that she's had in a long time.

* * *

Later that night, when it's time for her to sleep, she lingers in the library. Him sleeping in her bed helped, but it wasn't a cure and she still fears her dreams. Luckily, he notices and has an offer she gladly accepts. He sits with her until she falls asleep and then, after he leaves, the TARDIS monitors her heart rate so the time ship can tell him if Rose needs help. She thinks it's a good solution, since he usually only sleeps once every five days, and it helps her relax enough to get some much needed rest. When five days have passed, and it's time for him to get some sleep, he shows up in his jimjams. She doesn't comment and he doesn't ask. She just holds up the covers as an invitation and he slips into her bed.

In the beginning, they only hold hands but, during the weeks that follow, they slowly inch closer together until they are full on spooning every time. He's usually gone when the morning arrives, but there have been a few times when she has woken up in his arms and those mornings are the best. Nothing ever happens, though, which surprises her since his sexual appetite is quite impressive. She prefers it this way, though. It's not that she doesn't love their sex life but she needs this tenderness as well.

One day he might be able to break down his walls and let her in, but not if she pushes him. So, she never initiates sex or cuddling; it's always him. Sometimes it's out of the blue, other times he spends an entire day seducing her. The first time he did that they were in Scotland chasing a werewolf. He was very physical that day, but she didn't think much of it until he grabbed her bum right in front of Queen Victoria. After that, she became very aware of his _accidental_ brushes on her rear, fingers grazing her breasts and other touches. By the end of their adventure, she was so turned on it took her barely a minute to reach her first orgasm once they were back in the TARDIS, shagging like crazy in the dark.

Yes, it continues to only happen in the dark and from behind. He never kisses her, never says a word and he never stays in the room afterwards. Rose is sure her friends would think she's a complete doormat if they knew, but The Doctor will never be anyone's boyfriend. He's a Time Lord and he doesn't love like humans do. If he could, she would be the one for him. She's quite certain of it. She misses kissing, but other than that he gives her all she needs. He is her very best friend during the day and her lover at night, in the dark.

She no longer finds it strange that they never talk about it; he's just like that. They never talked about her comforting him at night when he was his previous self either; it just happened. So why should this be any different? Most would find it unconventional, how they ensure neither of them walk around feeling sexually frustrated, but it works for them. Admittedly, it's not perfect but she's never been more fulfilled in her life and she's never seen him happier. That's not to say he doesn't appear to be haunted anymore-she reckons he always will be, to some degree-but it's like they've reached some sort of equilibrium.

* * *

"Morning!" he chirps at the exact moment she opens her eyes.

It's been over two months since their sleeping arrangement started and, during that time, he's loosened up a little. He no longer knocks before entering her bedroom; he surprises her with breakfast in bed after a particularly bad adventure; and he's always the one waking her up instead of her setting the alarm.

"Mhgrh," she mumbles, pulling the covers over her head.

"Oh, come now, Rose," he says, tossing the covers on the floor. "It's a brand new day! Adventures await us. Up you go!"

"God, you're annoying in the mornings."

"More annoying than your horrendous mobile alarm?"

"You very well might be," she mutters, trying to sit up.

"But Rooose," he whines. "I've landed us in a _fantastic_ place, and I use that word for a reason. You'll love it!"

"Yeah, yeah. Lemme just get dressed," she says and, still not quite awake, pulls off her vest.

She doesn't even realise she's done something wrong until she hears him freezing-honest to god, there was a sound effect-and the whole room seems suspended in time. Oh, bloody hell. It was just a matter of time, though, wasn't it? They have sex almost every day and she's completely comfortable being naked around him by now. Instead of acknowledging her faux pas, which would only make matters worse, she grabs her dressing gown and quickly goes into her ensuite. When she returns, he has fled the room and she can't help but giggle at him. In the dark, he's this dominant, insatiable sex god, but as soon as it's light he gets flustered by the most innocent of innuendos. Accidentally seeing her breasts like this? Well, no wonder he ran away.

Fully dressed and smiling, she walks out to the console room. He's already by the doors, bouncing on the balls of his feet, with one hand on the handle.

"Ready for Mysticorious?" he wonders as he opens the doors and steps out, grinning from ear to ear. "Oh."

Rose can't help but wonder how many times she has walked out of the TARDIS and straight into the arms of sword-wielding guards. It barely fazes her anymore. She just sticks her arms up in the air and schools her features into something disarmingly daft-looking, knowing the Doctor does exactly the same. Without moving her head, she takes a good look around and notes they are in a castle of some sort. The walls are made out of stone; the back of the room is filled with a plethora of fantastical creatures she could stare at all day; and on the marble floor lies a navy blue carpet leading up to a really fancy golden throne. Sitting on the throne is a gorgeous woman with long, black hair, skin like dark chocolate and eyes so brightly green they shine in the slightly murky room.

"Bring them to me," the woman demands and the guards jab their swords at them, making them move forward. "It is not everyday one sees a strange blue box appear in one's home," she says as the guards make them kneel in front of her. "I am queen Lah, of which I am sure you are aware. This is my castle. Who, pray tell, may you be?"

The Doctor opens his mouth to answer, but Queen Lah narrows her eyes and holds up her hand to silence him. "No," she says. "The female will answer from here on out. You are to be silent."

Feeling a little smug, since she rarely gets to run her own gob, Rose says, "My name's Rose. Rose Tyler, your majesty. And this is the Doctor."

"Title or name?"

"Name. He's weird like that, ma'am" she explains, grinning.

"Oi! There's nothing-"

Rose elbows him in the side to make him shut up as she sees the queen looking annoyed.

"Are you sorcerers?" asks the queen.

"Uhm, wha'?"

The queen waves her hand at the TARDIS. "You managed to make a large, blue box appear inside a heavily guarded castle. I ask you again: are you sorcerers?"

"Uhm", she says, looking at the Doctor through the corner of her eye and noticing him nodding inconspicuously. "Yep. Sorcerers. That's us!"

"Is appearing inside castles something of which you do often?"

"Oh! Uhm...no? No. Nope! That was an accident. Whoops!" she says, smiling a bit too widely. "We were supposed to materialise, uhm, out in the...woods? Yeah, we're as surprised as you are, ma'am."

"I see..." says the queen, but she doesn't look convinced.

"We're really sorry, ma'am. We don't mean any harm, promise," Rose says earnestly.

The queen motions her to come closer and, as Rose stands before her, places her forefinger under her chin, looking deeply into her eyes. "Repeat that."

"We're really sorry, ma'am. We don't mean any harm, promise."

A smile blooms across the queen's features and, with a wave of her hand, she tells Rose to step back. "Excellent. As it happens, I am in great need of your assistance. A sorcerer wielding enough powers to make a travelling box, such as this, must be very talented. If you would be so kind as to aide me I will forget about your little intrusion."

"Oh, great. Yeah, we'd love to help. S'what we do," Rose says, nodding and smiling. "So what's the problem, then, ma'am?"

"As I am quite busy at the moment, we will wait until supper to discuss the matter. My guards will take you to your room. You are not granted access to the rest of the castle until we've spoken." The queen gives them a once over. "Oh, and Rose Tyler. There will be appropriate attire for you in the closet. Do change. You cannot dine at my table in _that_."

"Okay. What about him, then, ma'am?"

"It is a suit. A peculiar one, granted, but still a suit. It will do," the queen says, dismissing them with a wave of one hand, motioning a few peasants to approach her with the other.

* * *

The room they've been given isn't large by any account, nor is the bed, but it's a lot better than most places she's ever shared with the Doctor. There have been loads of cramped, dingy cells and narrow bunks and he's never complained once, until now. Well, he's not complaining, as such, more like acting jittery and avoiding so much as looking at the bed, leaving Rose utterly confused. They must have shared her bed at least eleven or twelve times, by now, and he's never been this weird about it. She shrugs, knowing there's no use in asking him, and looks through the closet for something in her size.

"Uhm, Doctor? I'll just..." she says, grabbing one of the dresses, and walks behind the dressing screen at the back of the room to change. "So, what d'you think the problem is, then?"

"No idea. Could be anything, really. It's a fairytale planet, this. Weeell, that's how I'd describe it to you lot anyway. Many of the creatures from your folklore come from here."

"Really? Thought some of the aliens out there looked familiar."

"Yes, you have Mysticorious to thank for your dragons, unicorns, fairies, leprechauns-"

"No way! Leprechauns are real? I mean, after all I've seen I can see the other ones being real, but _leprechauns_?"

"Yep. They are a tiny, often ginger, humanoid race called levrakoon and they eat gold. Well, they eat all kinds of metal, really, but consider gold a delicacy."

"Huh. And the queen? What was she?"

"A fairy, well a faerian. Didn't you see the wings?"

"Wings? She has wings? That's amazing. Can she fly?"

"Yep!"

"Blimey. The places you take me..." Shaking her head, she steps out from behind the dressing screen and, smoothing out her dress, asks, "So, how do I look?"

The Doctor stared at her for a second, jaw slack.

"That good, huh?" she says, grinning.

It _is_ a good dress. The deep pink is just right for her complexion; the bodice is revealing, snug and flattering; the skirt is made out of asymmetrical strips of some airy fabric, giving glimpses of her toned legs; and the waist is wrapped with pale silk ribbons.

"Weeell, you look very... Er, the things around the...and the other..." He gestures vaguely around her. "Well, and such. And there's the, er...area and that's...ehm... Ribbons! Very good things, ribbons. Could come in handy in a pinch. Say, if we needed to tie something. Or someone! To something. To...stop them?" He scratches his chin. "Ehm... Oh! I once saved a whole space fleet with a ribbon. Well, I say ribbon but it was more like a rope. A rope and a wheelbarrow, to be entirely accurate. Weeell, a ribbon, a wheelbarrow and a piece of gum. Always carry gum, Rose Tyler. Never know when it will come in handy. Did you know-"

"Wha'?" she interrupts, laughing.

He shrugs and says, "You'll do."

"Mhm. Look like a fairy princess, I reckon," she says, showing off by doing a twirl.

"Just...don't-don't start acting like one," he whines.

"You don't like fairy princesses?"

"I prefer my Rose Tyler Rose Tyler-y," he says, and warmth spreads from her chest down to her belly. "Ready?" he asks, holding out his hand.

"Yeah, just... Can you keep my bra in your pocket? Can't wear it with this dress."

"Your _what_?" he squeaks, as if he hasn't unhooked hers almost every day for over two months now.

"Well, sometimes we leave places in a hurry and stuff gets left behind," she explains, handing him her black lacy bra. "I happen to like this one, so keep it in your pocket, will ya?"

"Ehm..." he says, quickly stuffing it into his coat pocket.

"Oh, and my mobile," she says, giving him that as well. "Hold on." She scrunches up her nose, eyeing him appraisingly. "How much can you fit in there?"

"A lot," he says, proudly.

"S'like Mary Poppins' bag, then? Could you fit a lamp in there?"

"Why would I want to carry around a lamp? Torch, yes, but lamp? Seems inconvenient."

"Dunno. To hold over your head whenever you get a bright idea?"

His eyes widen with delight. "Ooooh."

"Wouldn't happen very often, though, would it?" she teases.

"Oi! I'll have you know-"

"So, do my trainers fit, too?" she interrupts, ignoring his hurt expression.

"Your _trainers_?"

"Can't very well wear them with this, can I?" she points out, twirling again, and adds in a posh tone, "The queen could take offence!" She grabs her trainers and the rest of her discarded clothing, shoving them into his arms. "Thanks! Better than a purse, you are." She pats him on the shoulder and heads for the door.

"_What_?! Are you calling me a purse?"

"No. _Better_ than a purse."

"'Cause I'm brilliant company, too?" he wonders, pouting and stuffing his pockets.

She grins, tongue between her teeth. "No. 'Cause I couldn't fit all that in a purse and I don't have to carry you around."

Grumbling under his breath, the Doctor slips his hand into hers and they walk out to the hallway where the guards are waiting to escort them to supper.

"Will I be able to eat anything, then?"

"Yep. The people on this planet are, well, vegans I suppose you could say, so no strange alien meat. Just stay away from anything blue and you'll be fine."

"Poisonous?"

"Well, you'd get a tummy ache at most, but that's unpleasant enough, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"This lot makes their wine a lot stronger than you're used to."

"All right. Anything else?"

"Well, don't wander off, obviously."

"Obviously!" she agrees, grinning.


	9. Infected

Rose and the Doctor are escorted to an enormous dining hall, which is bustling with fantastical creatures. She knows it's rude to stare; however, they all look so similar to the figures in storybooks from her childhood that she's much too fascinated to look elsewhere. Some of them have rather funny appearances, but most possess an otherworldly beauty and all of them are dressed in ethereal clothing. The Doctor sticks out like a sore thumb in his suit, but that's hardly unusual and, true to his habit, he strolls across the floor as though he owns the place.

A gray skinned serf shows up at their side and leads them to the queen's table, where they are asked to sit down. The queen introduces them to the four people already seated at the table, but Rose can only remember Tropplis, the court medicus to her right, since it was the only name with less than five syllables.

"Mm, you clean up quite nicely, Rose Tyler," the queen says, tilting her head. "What species are you?"

"Uhm, human, ma'am?"

"Human..." Queen Lah looks like she's tasting the word. "Yes, I have come across your kind once or twice. Time Agents..." She smiles and licks her lips and, knowing Jack, Rose is pretty sure what that smile is all about. "However, as far as I know, your kind does not delve in magic. Right, Trop?"

"That is correct," confirms Tropplis.

"Oh, I'm not... S'mostly the Doctor, yeah? I'm just the, uhm, the apprentice, ma'am."

Rose raises her hand for her cup, but the queen stills her by grabbing her wrist in a firm grip. The other woman brushes her thumb over Rose's skin, leaning in slightly and breathing her in, in an almost predatory way. Had the Doctor not claimed these people to be vegan, Rose would've been really nervous by now.

"Your heart. It is a good one," the queen tells her.

"Yeah, I get that a lot, ma'am," she jokes, a little confused.

"Hm." The queen drops her hand, leaning back in her chair, and snaps her fingers. Two serfs appear out of nowhere, quickly filling their plates with colourful food and quietly falling back into the shadows.

"Wha'?" Rose says, wondering if the queen might be somewhat of a sorceress herself.

"They are trained not to be noticed."

"Oh, like a ninja!"

"I am not familiar with that word," the queen says, but she looks amused. "Please, enjoy yourselves," she tells them, gesturing at the food.

The food looks delicious and Rose happily digs into shredded vegetable cakes, baked fruit, spicy noodles, bean salsa and something she's pretty sure is roasted yam. She content with just listening to the others chat at first, but when their plates are being cleared she decides it's best to start asking questions.

"So this problem of yours, ma'am-"

"No need for titles, is there?" the queen asks. "_You_, Rose, may call me Lah."

"All right, Lah," Rose says, smiling as she feels the Doctor getting grumpier by her side. "What do you lot need help with, then?"

"A disease is plaguing the land and our wise men and women know not what to do. How unfortunate Doctor is but a name."

"Oh, he's a proper doctor, too. Well, I think he is. Right, Doctor?" she asks, and he nods. "He's a doctor of a lot of things, I reckon. Smartest guy I know," she adds and, through the corner of her eye, notices him preen.

"Oh, I see. You are allowed to speak now," the queen tells the Doctor. "In moderation."

"Good luck with that," snorts Rose.

"This disease...?" the Doctor asks, shooting Rose a dirty look.

"We do not have a word for it. Word magic is powerful and naming something makes it real, no?" Lah says and the Doctor slowly nods.

He clears his throat and swallows before saying, "But something real can be broken. In this case, it might be best to give it a name."

"True," the queen admits. "However, we just realised it _is_ real. For thousands of years it was nothing but a myth. You see, the outbreaks were so small they could be hindered before the sickness spread. When I was a youngling something changed. I suppose it spread too quickly... Ever since, it comes back every few centuries and brings chaos in its wake," the queen explains. "We did not need armed men at the castle for a long, long time, but I reinstated the queen's guard when I lost my family," she softly adds, bowing her head.

"I'm so sorry," the Doctor and Rose say simultaneously.

"Yes," the queen replies, looking thoughtfully at the Doctor. "We are not unlike in that regard, you and I. The loneliness... There's no one left, is there?"

"No."

Queen Lah and the Doctor exchange haunted looks and Rose feels so very young and unimportant.

"What, uhm, what kind of disease is it?" she says, wanting to get the conversation back on track and, to be completely honest, to break the mood a little. She can't help but be jealous of the other woman.

"They crave flesh," the queen says, shivering.

"Flesh? Like, what, _eating_ flesh?" Rose asks and the queen nods, looking squeamish.

"I know things are different where you are from, but this is a peaceful realm," Tropplis explains. "All sentient beings can communicate with each other and do not eat one another. To crave flesh..." He shakes his head. "There is no higher offence."

"Oh. Yeah, I get it," she says, nodding. "And how does this disease... I mean, how do they go about it, then?"

"Once infected they have nothing else on their mind. All that is left of them is flesh and rage. The only way to stop them is by decapitation. Well...or waiting them out. The legend says their bodies give out after a year or so."

Rose pales and leans towards the Doctor, feeling a bad kind of funny in her stomach. "Are they talking about-about _zombies_?"

"Well, something like it," he quietly replies.

"And I thought the werewolf was scary," she says, shuddering. She grabs his hand under the table and he strokes her thumb comfortingly with his own.

"Would you like to share with the rest of us, Rose?" asks the queen.

"Yeah, uhm, sorry. We have something like it in Earth culture. Call 'em zombies. Ever heard of 'em?"

"Zombies... Cannot say I have, no."

"They, uhm, they eat human flesh. S'like you say: they crave it. One track mind. The disease is spread by biting. You get sick and, uhm, you die and then you rise all zombified. Uhm, it's like they're undead."

"Undead!" the queen exclaims, eyebrows flying up. "Then how do you stop them?"

"Only way to kill 'em is destroying their brains somehow," Rose explains, piercing something akin to a baked plum with her fork and sticking it into her mouth.

"I see... Since they are dead I assume you have no cure for this disease."

"No, meddling with the undead would be necromancy," Tropplis says, chuckling, but then his laughter gets caught in his throat. A little wary, he turns to Rose and asks, "Or is necromancy legal in your realm?"

Rose reckons it best to just pretend zombies and magic are real, instead of explaining about Earth fiction.

"Nah, no need to worry. S'banned on Earth. And there's no cure. Just a good, ol' bullet to the head," she explains with a firm nod.

"Bullet?"

"Uhm. Yeah, s'like an arrow, I suppose. Could just as easily use a sword to the head or a spear, maybe?"

"Sounds very similar to our disease; although, our infected are very much alive. We have..." Queen Lah leans over the table, gesturing them to do the same. "We have caught one. The first, to my knowledge, who have ever been apprehended. She is currently locked up in the dungeon. Do you think, Doctor, you might be able to develop a cure if you were to examine the patient? I ushered our land into peace when I took the throne from my uncle Nhu. I would like the rest of my reign to be free from bloodshed."

"I will do my best, ma'am. Shall we start now?"

"No. The infected are at their worst when it is dark. The sun placates them somewhat. I will not let anyone near her until dawn breaks. Not even someone like you," the queen says, quirking an eyebrow at the Doctor.

He puts down the wine cup he was drinking from. "Sorry? What do you mean?"

"Your eyes are ancient and you smell of time, yet your body is a mere babe. You shed your skin like a reptile, but charm the ones around you by adopting the demeanor of a pup. A little hard to trust, no?" she says, and Rose can't help but snort. Even though the Doctor has barely said a word, Lah already sees right through him. The queen looks at her curiously. "Your mate smells of time as well. Golden, lupine and dusty... It is faint, but any faerian can smell it."

"Wha'?" says Rose at the same time as the Doctor stutters, "We're not... Er, she's... Well, we're just-"

Annoyed by his reaction, Rose waves her hand at him to stop his stammering and says, "We're just friends."

He stopped correcting people about that ages ago and she doesn't understand why he's starting now, but this is not the time to dwell on that. She's too interested in what Queen Lah is saying and doesn't want the focus to shift to her complicated relationship with the Time Lord.

"Do I smell of time? And-and _lupine_? That means wolf, right?" She turns to the Doctor. "That werewolf, yeah, he said I was like a wolf or something. Is there something you're not telling me, Doctor?"

"Er, well... When you looked into the heart of the TARDIS, you called yourself Bad Wolf, but that's... I mean, it's not there anymore. You're just plain, old Rose Tyler. Just as you should be."

The queen chuckles and motions the serfs to top off everyone's wine cups. "I would neither call you old nor plain, Rose, but he is correct. Your soul is full of beautiful battle scars, showing me you once wielded great power which you used for good. Alas, it is all gone now," the queen says, sighing wistfully. "That golden energy would have come in handy."

"Is that why you trusted me?"

"Indeed. You interest me but you are not a mystery. Your friend, on the other hand... Well," Lah says, turning to the Doctor. "You are shrouded in so many lies I can barely see your essence. I would sooner trust the golden hearted woman than the man with a silver tongue. I will accept your help, Doctor, and greatly enjoy your company," she adds, eyeing him with a smirk. "However, Rose alone has my confidence." She raises her glass and nods towards Rose. "To the woman who has come to help us."

Rose blushes and elbows the Doctor in the side, grinning smugly at him. He looks somewhat perturbed, but raises his glass and toasts to her just as the rest of the people at their table.

"Now," says the queen. "No more talk of the undead and infected. Let us dine, drink and dance."

* * *

Rose is somewhat smug over being thought of as more important than the Doctor, but it doesn't last long. The queen is very interested in him, as everyone always is wherever they go, and she's delighted to have met someone new who surpasses her in age. She has apparently not done so in at least a hundred years. They have other things in common aside from long lifespans and losing their families, and Rose soon feels left out. She's repeatedly asked to dance by several different people and she initially declines all of them, but Rose's mood becomes gloomier the longer the Doctor and the queen chat. She decides to accept the next invitation to dance that comes along, and she giggles to herself when it turns out to be one of those leprechaun fellows. She grins like a fool when she realises he's speaking in an Irish accent and she makes a mental note to ask the Doctor if the TARDIS is doing it for laughs.

The dance is long and reminds her of those she's seen in the costume dramas where the ladies have pretty empire waist dresses and the men wear breeches. The couples' movements go round and round in canon and she gets the hang of it quite quickly. The levrakoon doesn't reach higher than her waist, but he is an accomplished dancer so it really doesn't matter. Besides, they're not the only couple with a height difference. Elves over seven feet tall dance with woodland nymphs; trolls are paired with gnomes; and there's even a bearded female dwarf dancing with a faerian, who flutters his wings with each turn. Rose is entranced by the sight and can barely believe that she, of all the people in the universe, is chosen to experience moments like these.

As soon as the dance is over, an elf asks her for the next dance. She casts a glance at the Doctor, who still is deep in conversation with the queen. She can only see his profile in this angle, but she has a good view of Lah's face and she's obviously flirting. She smirks, leans in to whisper, throws her head back when she laughs and touches his arm frequently. It hurts just enough for Rose to say yes to the elf and keep dancing. She has a strong need to mark her territory, but the Doctor hasn't made her any promises and is free to do what he wants. That doesn't mean she has to watch, though, does it?

* * *

The Doctor is amazed by how well Rose appears to always click with others no matter where they go. It's not that she's a chameleon, but most people seem to instinctively like her. It didn't take long for her to get several offers to dance once dinner was done. He watches her gracefully move around the dance floor in the middle of the dining hall, and he's proud at how quickly she has learned the steps.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" the queen asks.

"Well, Lah," he says, since they are on first name basis now that he's spent hours in her company, "I've had it worse."

"Come now, Doctor," the queen says, laughing. "Do you miss her that badly?"

"Sorry?"

The queen leans over the table to touch his arm as she says, "You might think that it goes unnoticed, but I see you keeping your eye on her."

"I'm just looking out for her. Promised her mother I'd always bring her back home."

"We share a talent," Lah says, tapping her nose. "You smell of each other."

"We live together."

The queen smirks. "...and that is all?"

"Yes."

"I see. If what you say is true, you would not mind me trying my luck, would you?"

"With _Rose_?"

"Yes, with Rose. She is beautiful-and not just in appearance. My consort passed a few decades ago and I have yet to find another. I do still have needs, however. I would be proud to take her to my bed," the queen explains with a wink.

"Ehm... I've never seen any indication that Rose would... Well, as far as I know she's only ever been with men."

Lah blinks a few times, straightening her back and looking very confident. "Has she ever been propositioned by a faerian queen?"

"No."

"Well, then," the queen says, as though that settles it. "Do I have your blessing?"

"Rose is a grown woman and does what she likes," he curtly says.

"Oh, Doctor..." Lah smiles sweetly, shaking her head. "Of that, I have no doubt. But you see, I'm at your mercy. Why would I risk making you cross when I know you might be our salvation? I can sense your brilliant mind and know you will find a cure just as she will find the reason."

"I'm not her..." He clears his throat. "I'm, ehm... It's none of my business what she chooses to do."

With a smirk playing on her lips, the queen looks at him knowingly and leans closer to touch his hand. "Are you telling me you do not love her?"

"I'm a Time Lord," he huffs. "We admire and hold in high regard, but romantic notions? We're above all that irrational nonsense."

"...and yet here you sit," the queen says, tapping her nose once more, "enveloped in her scent."

"And as I said: we live together," he says, increasingly annoyed, and grabs his cup of wine. "I appreciate Rose's brilliant mind, her courage, her warm heart and her spirit. She's a fantastic companion; I only choose the best. But that is all. Time Lords _do not_ mate with humans and, had my society still been here, I'd be cast out if they kn-" He stares down at the drink in his hand, a bit suspicious. He would usually ignore inquiries such as these. "Did you spike this with something?"

"Oh, Doctor. I am a seven hundred year old faerian queen. I know how to loosen tongues."

"And why are you so interested in my love life or lack thereof?"

"I need to know what kind of man you are before I grant you full access to my castle. I have heard of your people before, Doctor. Time Lords are vain, egotistical and cold, yet you seem...different. Just slightly, granted, but still..." she says, squinting as her eyes rove over him.

"Then why bring Rose into this? Was that just to rile me up?"

"No, my interest in her is genuine and if you're not-"

"We're not!" he almost growls.

The queen leans to the side to get a better view of the dance floor. "Then you wouldn't object to her dancing with one of the most handsome elves in my queendom, I gather."

He swallows and takes a deep breath before saying, "Nope."

"Or that she's currently being lead out of the dining hall by him?"

"She's _what_?!" he exclaims, standing up so quickly his chair tips over.

He turns around and sees the pink skirts of Rose's dress just as she rounds a corner and disappears from view. Clenching his fists, he starts to move but stops as the queen lets out a peal of laughter before telling him to sit down.

"What?" he barks, still standing.

"Nothing but friends? Indeed," she says with a knowing smile. "Feolin, the elf she's with, is a dear friend of mine. He's incredibly respectful, kind and... Well, Doctor, you seem to be a man of great knowledge. I am sure you are aware of our free-spirited way of life. If you truly are nothing but friends, you should let her experience coupling with an elf."

"_Coupling_?" he squeaks.

"Oh, yes. He once made me see stars from mouth kisses alone," the queen says, chuckling and fanning herself with her hand.

"...and by 'see stars' you mean...?" wonders the Doctor, mouth very dry all of a sudden.

"Why, reach bliss, of course! Don't you..."

The Doctor doesn't stay to hear the end of that sentence. Making good use of his long legs, he walks out of the dining room hastily. He takes a turn where he last saw Rose and runs down the long hallway, looking left and then right. There isn't a single coherent thought running through his magnificent Time Lord mind outside of him preventing Rose from being with someone else.

"Hello there friend! Why the rush? Are you in trouble?" he hears someone say.

The Doctor stops to a halt. He was too upset to notice at first, but now he sees Feolin standing in the shadows beside a wooden door.

"Eeer," the Doctor says. "Where's Rose?"

"The lovely lady Rose is freshening up. Who, pray tell, is asking?" the elf replies, narrowing his eyes and inspecting the Doctor.

"I'm her-" He shuts his mouth as Rose comes through the door, which is good because he really doesn't want to know what he was about to say.

"Doctor?" she says, eyebrows raised.

"Ehm, well..." he starts, but then he frowns. "No wandering off!"

Rose laughs. "Was just in the loo. I'm not a fancy Time Lord, all right? This little human needs to pee once in a while."

"Well, yes, of course," he says, adjusting his tie. "Just...next time, tell me before you go swanning off."

"Were you worried about me?"

"There are infected running about! Didn't you listen to Lah?"

"Lah, huh? So, she's warming up to you, then?" she asks, looking a little stiff.

"Yes, I _am_ rather charming, you know."

Linking her arm with the elf's, Rose snorts and rolls her eyes. "Yeah, real humble, too. C'mon Feo, let's dance."

"Ehm, it's passed your bedtime, Rose. Maybe you-"

She stares at him, gaping. "My _bedtime_?"

"Weeell," he says, scratching his neck. "The time you've, er, decided-entirely on your own, mind you-to be your bedtime. You know, when you usually go to bed. Aren't you tired? You look a little tired. Just around the..." He gestures around her face, but quickly stops when she scowls at him.

"And we're getting up at the crack of dawn!" he hurriedly continues. "Weeell, I say we but I mean you, since I won't be sleeping tonight. Need you at your best and brightest tomorrow." He bounces at the balls of his feet. "Important business, this. Making antidotes and vaccines and whatnot. If you go to bed now you'll get at least five hours. I know how much you humans love your sleep. Good for your little human brains, too. To dream, I mean. Very therapeutic, that. Did I ever tell you about the time I met Carl Jung? It was a-"

"Oh my god," she says, exasperated. "Yeah, all right. I'll go to bed if that means you'll shut up."

"Eeer...yep. Let's go?" he asks, holding out his hand.

Her eyes are sparkling with amusement as she takes his hand and lets him escort her to their room. She doesn't comment on it, but he's pretty sure he just made a fool of himself and he doesn't care for it one bit. This must be remedied.

* * *

As much as Rose would like to keep dancing, the Doctor is right. She is getting up at dawn and, unless she wants to be dog tired tomorrow, she better get her rest. She doesn't know how to interpret his behaviour, so she indulges him and tries her best to read him as they walk back to their room with a couple of guards in tow. Inside, she finds a shift in the closet and pops behind the dressing screen to change. He seems jittery and, instead of sitting down in the chair beside the bed, she hears him impatiently shuffle around by the door.

"Toothbrush?" she asks, holding out her hand, whilst he digs around in his coat pocket.

"Need any of your other things?"

"Nah," she replies and starts cleaning her teeth by the washbowl in the corner of the room.

She rinses her mouth and quickly cleans her face before crawling into bed.

"Do you need me to, ehm, sit with you?" he says, looking at his feet.

"No, I'm okay. So what are you gonna do all night, then?"

"Oh, I'll go back to Lah and ask if I can have access to her library. She's already made it clear that we won't be allowed into the TARDIS until we've found a cure, which is tremendously stupid since I'm sure I could find better information there. But, she's determined," he explains, and sighs heavily. "I'll wake you up at dawn."

"'Kay. Night then, Doctor."

"Yeah, night," he says and slips out of the room.

His behaviour earlier seemed like jealousy to Rose, but if that's true then why is he running off to be with Lah? She finds it really hard to believe he'd do anything with someone else. They might not have expressed being exclusive, but she's sure they are. He's not the type of man who would share himself like that with just anyone, not even an extremely gorgeous fairy queen.

* * *

She's not as sure anymore once morning comes. She didn't sleep well and woke up repeatedly only to find herself alone in the room each time, meaning he was away all night. It's really bright outside, hours since dawn by her best guess, so she gets out of bed and washes herself quickly before putting on another of those fairytale dresses. This one is yellow and looks similar to the dress she wore last night, so she finds a pair of matching sandals and puts them on before opening her bedroom door to leave. The guards outside her room greet her as she walks out into the hallway and proceed to escort her to the royal garden.

It's a long walk to the garden and she finds herself rather thirsty once they finally arrive. Luckily, a table of refreshments awaits her along with the Doctor, Queen Lah, Tropplis and his apprentice, a levrakoon named Beau.

"Morning," she says, waving her hand at them.

The Doctor, who's holding up a plant in front of a book, looks up at her with a wide smile. "Morning, sleepyhead! I tried to wake you up at dawn but it was impossible."

"Really? I don't remember that."

He chuckles. "I'm not surprised. You were really out of it. Reckoned you needed to sleep, so this lot's been helping me."

"Please," Lah says, getting up from the chair seated by the Doctor. "Have something to eat and drink. I need to fetch the Doctor a few things," she explains, turning around and fluttering her gossamer wings with a laugh and a wink at the Doctor.

"'Kay, thanks," Rose says, sitting down and pouring herself a glass of lemonade.

It's a beautiful morning: twin suns are warming her skin; creatures akin to peafowl are strolling around the hedges and flower beds; and somewhere, hidden from view, there are people playing a lovely tune on flutes and string instruments.

"So, any progress?" she asks, munching on a piece of coconut flesh and turning her face towards the light.

"Yep! See this?" he asks, holding up the plant. "It's a moonflora. It blooms during the night and collects dew at dawn to feed it to its twin plant sunflora. The sunflora, on the other hand, soaks up the sunlight during the day and emits it slowly at night to nourish its sibling."

"That's romantic," Rose says, smiling.

"Oh? Yes, I suppose so," he says, scratching his chin. "Lah's wise men and women believe this to be the key to a cure and I think they might be right. I just need a few sunfloras to run some tests in Tropplis' laboratory. That's what-" He stops talking as his jaw drops and eyes widen. "Oh, she's _beautiful_."

Rose turns around, following his gaze with her eyes. Oh. The sunflora is climbing the castle walls to be as close as possible to the twin suns and right at the top hovers Queen Lah, picking the yellow flowers. Her wings are in constant motion and so swift all you can see is rainbow coloured light bouncing off them as the suns shines through the pale gossamer. She is breathtakingly beautiful, but that's not the reason why Rose's chest feels constricted. No, it's the fact that the Doctor gawks at the faerian queen as if she were the most fascinating woman in the universe. Rose shoves her mouth full of some sort of toast with jam, trying her hardest not to glare.

The queen floats down and lands by their table with a pleased smile, handing him the flowers she's gathered for him. "Is this the first time you've seen my kind fly, Doctor?"

"Yes," he says, adjusting his glasses. "I've heard of it, of course, but the tales don't do it justice."

"Oh, thank you. That's very flattering," the queen says, laughing. "We seldom..."

Rose stops listening whilst she finishes her breakfast and excuses herself by claiming she needs a walk in the garden to digest her food. She can't stand watching him look at another woman with that amount of admiration and she's afraid she'll start being rude to the queen, which could prove disastrous. For the first time in Rose's life, she feels like being human might not be enough. The Doctor tells her not to wander off or leave the garden. She promises she won't but he doesn't seem to notice her sullen mood, which only makes her feel worse. She slowly walks away not really paying attention to where she's going.

The guards might have initially escorted her to the garden, but now she's free to walk the grounds on her own. They keep an eye on her and nod when she greets them, but neither decide to follow her around. After a fifteen minute stroll, she reaches the stone wall surrounding the castle. She walks along it, running her fingers over the cool surface, enjoying the birds' song, warm air and soft ground beneath her feet until she reaches a wooden gate.

"Hello, I'm Rose," she says to the two guards standing on either side. They don't introduce themselves at first but, after a little prompting, she finally manages to get both of their names and a little background information. "Where does this lead, then?" she asks, pointing at the gate, once they've finished chatting.

"The old garden. There was an accident many years ago, miss. It's mostly ruins now. Oh, and the old labyrinth. The queen has yet to restore the place, though."

"Oh! Labyrinth? Am I allowed to go in?"

"Yeah, should be all right. This is the only entrance nowadays. But if you're not back soon we'll come look for ya, miss."

"Sounds good to me," she says and walks through the gate after the guards open it.

It doesn't take her long to find the labyrinth. It's not completely run down, but still overgrown enough for her to decide not to wander too far into it for fear of getting lost. However, as she hears hushed voices from within the myriad of pathways, she changes her mind and sneaks in closer to listen.

"The queen will hold a ball in a couple of moon runs," a woman says. "That's when we should strike."

"We need more flesh. Grand Master says two hundred should do. Elves and faerians, preferably."

"Ulvor keeps bringing levrakoons, stupid git," a man says with a sigh. "What are we supposed to do with all of those ankle biters?"

Someone snorts and repeats the slur with a laugh.

"What about those two newcomers. Sorcerers, they claim. Will they pose any trouble?"

"Aye, seems like it," says a new voice, old and haggard. "Can't do much during the day. She has guards on them at all times, paranoid little twat she is. I'll infuse their sheets with baneroot. That should do the trick."

Rose backs away as quietly as she can, trying not to listen to the four strangers sniggering at the thought of killing her and the Doctor. She's almost at the entrance of the labyrinth when she feels a slender, clammy hand cover her mouth and something prick her neck. The effect is instantaneous as she passes out before she has a chance to fight back.


	10. Capture

_**Warning: This chapter contains a little violence.**_

* * *

Crinkling his nose, the Doctor squints through his specs and curls his tongue around his teeth as he inspects one of the sunfloras the Queen has picked for him. He has seen a few variations of twin flowers before, but none with quite as intricate of a symbiosis as these. He's very fascinated and would love to take a few samples to the TARDIS so he can use his more advanced equipment.

"This would go faster if you'd let me use my own laboratory, you know," the tells her.

"How can I trust you not to leave, Doctor?"

"That's not what I do. I help. That's my purpose."

"I thought your purpose was running," she points out, tapping his shoulder.

"Only from myself," he says with a sigh. "From consequences, from things I don't des-" He shrugs off her hand. "Oi! You're doing it again. Stop it!"

Chuckling, the Queen leans back in her chair. "I do apologise. Shall we fetch Rose and take this to Tropplis' chambers?"

"Yeah," the Doctor drawls, looking around. "Where is she anyway? She's been gone for quite some time now, hasn't she?"

Running around in the garden, he calls her name and gets increasingly worried as she's nowhere to be found. Lah orders the guards to help but, even though they search the area thoroughly for over twenty minutes, there's still no trace of Rose.

"Where could she...?" the Doctor says, feeling strangely hollow inside.

"Pardon, ma'am," says one of the guards. "Lorrin just got back from his break, he did. Said something 'bout miss Rose going to the old garden to look at the labyrinth."

"Oh," the Queen breathes, looking relieved. "Come, Doctor. I will take you there."

They have barely walked five steps into the maze when the Doctor sees a scrap of torn off yellow fabric hanging from a twig and the sight makes an uncomfortable, ice cold lump form in his stomach.

"This is from her dress..." he mumbles, staring at the fabric in disbelief. "Rose?!" he calls, running down the pathways. "_Rose?!_"

"Doctor, stop," the Queen says, placing one hand on his shoulder. "Had she been in the labyrinth I would be able to sense her, but I cannot."

"But...?" the Doctor says, clutching the fabric in his hand.

Queen Lah looks somewhat uncomfortable. "Well, there have been disappearances lately. Not from the castle, mind, I have my guards for a reason, but over the last six months-"

"_Disappearances_? Well, does anyone ever turn up?"

"Not as such," Tropplis says.

"And what the _hell_ does that mean?" growls the Doctor, using his full height as he takes a step towards the other man.

"Well, ehm, some claim the ab-abducted people come back as-as infected, but nothing has been con-confirmed," stutters Tropplis, backing away from the Doctor.

"You're telling me someone is kidnapping people and turning them into flesh eating zombies and you decided not to tell me about this because of_what_, exactly?" he shouts.

"We did not think it relevant," says Lah.

"Not relevant? Not _relevant_?! You didn't tell us and now they have Rose!"

"Surely, Doctor, there is no need of jumping to conclusions! Let us keep our hopes up." She gently caresses his arm and he feels a little of his anger sliding off him for every stroke. "All we want is the cure. That is our main concern. If you can develop it, we can save all the infected. Even Rose, in case she-"

"No!" He steps back, out of her touch. "Don't play your little tricks on me, Lah. I'm not letting Rose turn into one of those-"

"Now, you listen!" the Queen roars, eyes burning like the twin suns and wings fluttering fast enough to whip up a storm around them.

The wind tears twigs and leaves off the hedges and the Doctor feels them slamming against his body, making tiny cuts in his skin and the fabric of his suit, but he can't move from the spot.

"Thousands of lives are at stake," the Queen continues. "The faster you can produce the cure, the sooner we can end this once and for all without having to decapitate anyone!" She flies high up enough to tower over him. "You do not know what I am capable of, Doctor. Do not spite me!"

She is magnificent: black hair whipping in the wind; wings shooting rainbow coloured light rays across the garden; green eyes boring into his with an almost tangible force; and her white dress in stark contrast against her dark skin. Despite his fear, anger and the pain in his skin as well as in his hearts, a part of the Doctor can't help but marvel at the sight. Perhaps his awestruck expression is what calms her down, because within a second she lands before him with a gentle smile on her lips.

"Doctor, I beg of you. Help us. I will send out all the guards I can spare in search for her. Believe me when I say I do not wish Rose any harm. We will administer the cure on our own, making you free to look for her yourself as soon as you are finished. Listen, I lost my consort to this. I do _not_want you to lose yours." She cups his cheek, brushing his skin with her thumb, and softly adds, "Do not force me to use violence."

There's a setting on his sonic screwdriver that could-

"Ah-ah-ah," the Queen says, picking the gadget out of his pocket lightening fast. "Do not even entertain the thought." She gives him a pitiful look. "That is the problem with your beehive telepathy, Time Lord. Your walls are nothing for someone such as me, now that we have spent some time together. I hope you do not mind me saying so, but you need practice. It is clear you do not use your powers with any regularity whatsoever."

He sucks in a deep breath and pushes it out through his nose. She _is_ right and telepathy was never his strong suit anyway. He won't be able to conceal things from her unless he concentrates really hard, which she will notice.

"All right. You win. But I will need my own laboratory."

"Do you take me for a fool? What is to say you will not disappear once you are inside your travelling box?" The Queen curls her top lip. "Your word is no guarantee, Doctor."

"You'll have to join me, I gather," the Doctor says, fake smile plastered on his face.

"Oh, I will," she says and then, turning to the medicus, she adds, "Tropp. Fetch the deadlock shackles."

Ah. Bugger.

* * *

The Doctor is sitting at a workbench in Tropplis' chambers, doing his best to understand the properties of the two plants so he can learn how to harness the light from the twin suns. According to Lah the infected are very aggressive in the dark, whilst daylight makes them a bit sluggish and aimless. It doesn't remove their craving for flesh, but they're easier to handle and will take longer to discover their prey. However, once blood is drawn they go wild and, since the disease make them stronger and impervious to pain, very hard to fight.

"You really think this is going to work?" he asks, dropping an extraction solvent into a tube full of sunfloras.

"We know our herbs, roots and precious stones," she explains, "but we have little knowledge in blood magic. It was banned long before I was born and all tomes on the subject were burned." She sighs and sits down. "Travelling the skies is a gift yet bestowed upon us. Sometimes we get visitors, such as yourself, and they share some of their knowledge with us. I am familiar with your title, with words such as vaccine and Time Agents, but... Oh, we are at your mercy, Doctor. Please."

"I _am_ working," he says.

"Yes, but you are also thinking of ways to escape so you can find your Rose. Give all your attention to this and I will turn the world upside down in an effort to find her. _My_ word means something, even if yours does not."

"You don't understand!" he exclaims, fingers plunging through his hair and tugging at the strands. "I need at least one tube of healthy blood from the infected species to complete the cure. I can't make a universal cure. It's impossible! How am I supposed to make one for her, then? There are no humans on your planet! I don't want her to have to experience that rage, that-that _bloodlust_!"

"I am so sorry," the Queen says. "All you can do is keep working and hope she is still herself once you find her."

"Did you plan this? You said that I would find the cure and that she would find the reason," he growls, angry with himself for not picking up on it at the time. "Is this some sort of-"

"Stop," Lah interrupts, holding up her hand. "Rose is nothing but Rose now, but once she was the mother of time. The person behind all of this must have noticed as well. They would not harm her."

"How can you be sure?"

"I cannot," she says, shaking her head, "but know this, Time Lord. I am stronger than you and I will do anything to protect my people."

He stares at the shackles around his ankles and then at his captor; he hates to admit it, but she's right about this as well. Even if he still had the sonic screwdriver in his possession, he couldn't get out of these.

"I know. Just wish I had understood sooner exactly how persuasive your touch can be."

"Yes," she says, laughing. "I am not in the habit of using my powers, but these are special circumstances and I had to make a hard decision."

"Suppose I can relate to that," the Doctor says with a deep sigh. "Okay, make sure Beau and Tropplis get blood from every species in your realm and I'll make sure you have your cure." He turns to her and points at her. "But you better get your guards out there!"

"I have already sent out twenty, Doctor," she says, knitting her brow in concern and sitting down on a bench in the corner of the room. "I was telling the truth. I want no harm to come to her-or to you, for that matter. Now, I will let you work in peace. Do not mind me."

* * *

When Rose opens her eyes she finds herself in a dank, dark cell with solid stone walls. Great. She runs her fingers over the spot where she got injected and finds swollen, but not aching, flesh. Groaning, she tries to sit up but pain flashes in her head and she lies down again on the hard, cold floor.

"You should take it easy for a while, there, miss," a low, rumbling voice says from one of the dark corners.

She rolls over on her side and squints as she tries to make out the form in the shadows.

"It's the toxin they use. You get headaches upon waking, but it should only last a little while," says the man as he steps closer to her. "For you, at least. Have never seen anyone wake up so quickly before."

"Well," she says, rubbing her temples and then her neck. "I'm not from this planet, so maybe it doesn't work the same way on me."

"Yeah, thought you were an outlander." The man, who is winged and has dark skin and bright eyes just like the Queen, bows his head slightly. "Name's Olennh, miss. Nice to meet you, although...wish it could've been under more pleasant circumstances."

"Hi, I'm Rose. No need to call me miss, all right?" she tells him, smiling. "Is there any water?"

"Aye. There's a water bucket in that corner and a bucket for your other needs in that corner," he says, pointing. "Would appreciate it if you wouldn't get them confused," he adds with a lopsided grin.

Chuckling, she crawls over to the water bucket and uses the ladle hanging on the rim to drink. The water is ice cold and gives her a brain freeze, but as the pain subsides so does the headache and she feels a lot more alert.

"Where are we?"

"Sorry," he says, shrugging. "No idea, miss."

"How long have you been here, then?"

"Oh, a fortnight, I gather," he says, sighing heavily. "You're not my first cellmate; reckon you won't be my last either. Seen them take away three already. Dunno why they've not chosen me yet. Not that I'm complaining."

"Lucky you."

She gets up on her feet and starts running her fingers over the cold stone walls, looking for any cracks or weaknesses.

"As I said, miss. Been here a long time. Would've found my way out if there was one," he points out.

"Sorry. Doesn't hurt, though, does it?"

"Suppose not," he says, sitting down on the floor and leaning against one of the walls.

"D'you know who's behind all this? It's got something to do with the infected, right?"

"Aye. One of the guards made a mistake. I got close enough to touch him once and I managed to read him a wee bit-"

"Touch telepathy?" she asks.

"Well," he drawls and runs his fingers through his long, black hair. "Something like it. Anyway, I don't know who's behind it, but I do know they're not many. Operation like this? Can't recruit a bunch of folks and still keep it quiet. The Queen would find out. 'Sides, I've only ever seen four guards since I came here."

"Do they come down here often?"

"See that hatch over there?" he asks, pointing at the door. She can barely make it out in the dark, but nods nonetheless. "There's where we get our food. They shoot the arrows with the toxin from there as well."

"Oh. Shit," she mumbles, kicking some pebbles into the wall. "Was hoping we could overpower them somehow."

"Hmm," he says, eyeing her for a second or two. "You very well might be able to, mi- Rose. See, the ones they take don't get the same toxin. Was awake long enough once to see them usher my friend out. She was docile, not unconscious. You might not react as expected on that either."

She crinkles her nose. "You think?"

"Who knows? Here's to hope, yeah?"

"Yeah." She grows silent, trying to come up with a plan but her mind is blank.

Olennh puts his hand on her shoulder. "You know, Rose, maybe nothing bad happens at all to the ones they take away."

"Yeah, maybe they're just putting on a film and giving us popcorn."

He frowns. "I don't know what-"

They hear the hatch creak and a couple of seconds later Rose feels something prick her skin again and the world turns blurry. It's like being really drunk: she's giggling over nothing, can barely walk straight and would agree to just about anything. She's being led forward by one of those gray skinned serfs and, without looking back, she knows Olennh is right behind her being equally drugged up. They walk through a cellar with one row of wooden doors on each wall and, since she isn't even the smallest bit capable of counting them, she's guesses there are five on each side. The corridor ends with a stone staircase and Olennh flutters happily past her and up to the next floor, but her knees are much too wobbly to get upstairs and she halts to steady herself against the wall. She has barely paused for a second before the serf tugs her forward with a firm grip around her hand and, stumbling up the steps, she trips a few times and scuffs up both knees and palms.

Upstairs the walls are adorned with decorative tapestry, the floors are covered in thick carpets, and the windows are hidden by velvet drapes. Every piece of fabric is in burgundy, blood red and dark orange with intricate patterns making Rose even more dizzy and it feels like she's trapped in a nightmare.

"That door right there," the serf says in a voice so beautifully melodic it clashes with his actions, making everything more surreal.

Rose's mouth is watering and she tries to swallow down the feeling of being sick but, as they reach the door, which undoubtedly leads to something dreadful, she can't hold it in any longer. Before she has the chance to give him a warning, she vomits all over the serf's feet.

"Sorry 'bout that," she manages to mumble and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. She barely registers his indignant outcry as nausea hits her all over again. "Need to lie down, yeah," she continues, sagging down to the floor.

The serf pulls her to stand up, but the movement makes her stomach turn and she throws up again. This time the sick hits his torso and, with a look of disgust on his gray face, he slaps her hard. She licks her split lip and the blood makes her gag once more, but this time nothing comes out. She feels the effects of the injection ebb out and instinctively shakes her head to clear it from fog. It's as though her reaction to the toxin was stronger than for a Mysticorian, but her body could metabolise it much faster and she's rapidly feeling like herself again. The corridor is still assaulting her senses, but the colours and patterns doesn't have the same impact now that she's sober. She can see clearly, her legs are steady and she's lucid enough to know what an advantage she has since the serf doesn't have a clue about her improved state. She knees him in the groin and, as he falls down to the floor clutching his crotch, she thrusts her knee up in his face as well. There's an unpleasant crunching noise upon impact but, since she doesn't want to be zombie food, she merely winces and pushes she guilt into the back of her mind. This isn't the time for regrets.

She doesn't dare opening the door in front of them, but there is one to her left so she takes her chance. The room is completely devoid of people, but has a few wardrobes, a desk and six chairs and, with a sigh of relief, she pushes Olennh inside and drags the serf in as well. Blood is gushing out of his nose, tears stream down his face and he is far too disoriented from the hard blow to do much else than whimper. She removes some of the long, thick ribbons from her waist, ties his hands and feet together and then shoves him into one of the wardrobes, thanking her way of life for being strong and thanking fate for the slender serf not weighing much at all. After wiping the worst of the serf's blood from his nose, she rips off a few of the strips of fabric from her skirt, bunching them up to a ball and shoving them into his mouth. She ties the last piece around his head to make sure he can't spit out the gag.

"Can you still breathe?" she asks, worried that she broke something in his nose.

The serf neither nods nor shakes his head, but his teary glare tells her all she need to know. He would look far more panicked had he not been able to breathe properly. So, she grabs his keys and puts them in her cleavage, closes the doors to the wardrobe and secures the handle by pressing up a chair against it.

"Come on, snap out of it, Olennh," she mumbles, feeling stress rise in her body. "Like, _now_, yeah? I need you to be lucid. I'm not leaving without saving the others."

Pulling open some drapes, she uncovers a large window and takes a look around; it's dark out and the grounds outside are completely empty. After opening the window and letting in the chilly night air, she orders the obedient faerian to suck in a few deep breaths, whilst she rummages through the other wardrobes and the desk drawers in search of something that can be of help.

"Sodding hell!" she slams shut the last drawer after her unsuccessful search. "They'll be looking for us soon won't they? God, I'm sorry 'bout this, Olennh. Keep it shut, yeah?"

She opens another wardrobe, pushes him inside and closes the door. All of the chairs in the room look sturdy, so she grabs the one nearest to her and smashes it forcefully against the desk three times before a few of the legs break off. Gripping one of the chair legs tightly, she stands at the door and waits. It doesn't take long for the handle to move and she makes sure her hold is even firmer as someone opens the door. It's another gray skinned serf and that's all she has time to notice before she smashes the leg over his head, making him fall to the floor.

Muttering about chasing a wee naked child over hill and dale, she looks down at her dress. There are still ribbons and strips left but if she keeps this up her yellow dress will look more like a flimsy figure skating outfit. She rips off what fabric she needs, ties up the serf and shoves him into the wardrobe at the same time as she lets out Olennh.

"Please tell me you're starting to get clear, yeah?"

"Aye. Almost there," he mumbles, smiling weakly but his eyes aren't quite as glazed over anymore.

"Well, that's good enough for me. Can't stay here. Grab a leg and leg it." He gives her a confused look and she snorts. "Well, the Doctor would've laughed at that," she mutters to herself.

They sneak out into the corridor together and goes back to the cellar.

"I reckon we'll have a better chance if we rescue the others first, yeah? Strength in numbers and all that," she says.

"Agreed."

They manage to get downstairs, unlock all the cells, round up the other eighteen captives and get back upstairs again, but then another gray skinned serf catches them in the act. However, his shock at the sight combined with a solid whack of a chair leg takes care of the problem rather quickly. There's a silent agreement that Rose is the leader and, as she hands out orders, everybody obey her without question. Soon they have a lot of strips of fabric ripped from garments that could be spared, several rooms have been looked through to get anything that can act as a weapon and Olennh has dragged the third serf into yet another wardrobe.

"I've seen all of them before. Only number four left now, I reckon."

Rose sighs. "Unless there are more..."

"Yeah, s'pose. You know...I could touch one of them and, in a way, interrogate him. It's a bit frowned upon, but considering they've kidnapped us and want to kill or convert us I'm thinking we can let it slide just this once."

"Yeah," Rose says, chuckling. She turns to the crowd. "Everybody inside!"

They huddle closely together inside the room, as Olennh does his thing on one of the serfs. Rose and an elf guard the door and the others are thankfully completely silent. It takes Olennh over ten minutes to complete his task but, once he's done, he walks over to the window Rose opened earlier.

"I have enough information for us to take this to the Queen. I won't waste time telling you now, so trust me when I say we can leave. We're on the ground floor, there are no guards on the grounds-unfortunately no wagons or horses at this hour either-but if we can just make it to the woods over there we'll be all right. How's that?"

Rose peers out of the window, making sure the grounds are empty. "Yeah. Sounds good."

She opens the other window in the room and the group of captives start pouring out of the two exits. They rush over the grounds together, cross an old dirt road, jump over a ditch and finally reach the dark forest.

"It's best if we all go the the castle, right? If you all go home, what's to say they won't just come get you?" Rose says, and the group murmurs in agreement. "'Kay. Does anyone know which way to go?"

Olennh grins. "Most of us do. It's ingrained in us. Don't worry, outlander."

"Great, lead the way, then!"

Most of the species around her seem to have excellent night vision and really good instincts, and she feels very incapable in comparison. A troll seem to notice her dilemma and walks up to her and takes her hand.

"Hi, there. Name's Swip," he says. "Looks like you could use an extra pair of eyes."

"Yeah, thanks," she says, sighing with relief and clutching the troll's warm, rough hand. "Olennh? You can fly, right?"

"Aye. Not very far, though, miss. Our wings are no means for transportation."

"Oh," she says, not able to keep disappointment from lacing her voice. "Thought maybe you could fly ahead and tell the Queen to send guards our way."

"I'm sorry. It's much too far."

"Wait!" she says, remembering Tropplis' talking about all species being able to communicate. "Can we send a bird or something?"

"The information is much too complicated for a bird."

"Oh." She walks quietly for a while, trying to come up with anything useful. "By the way... The infected... There are some walking about freely, right?"

"Aye. It's become much worse lately."

"So what's to say they won't find us walking around in the woods?" She stops. "Hold up! How many here can fly?" she asks and four faerians hold up their hands. "Right. How's this? One faerian at the time will fly above the group and keep a lookout so we don't run into any infected. Keep rotating so you don't tire yourself out. You," she says, pointing at the one closest to her, "you go first."

The faerian nods, flutters her wings and flies up in the air above them.

Even though the day had been comfortably warm, the night is crisp and cold. Rose's dress is torn to shreds and doesn't provide much warmth, but looking around she sees the others are in the same state. The group consists of faeriens, elves, levrakoons, trolls and a few gnomes, and they all walk quietly, looking glum.

"Olennh, can you tell us about what you found out, then?" she asks, thinking it best that everyone know in case something happens as well as looking for a way of breaking the silence.

"Aye, miss. Over a thousand years ago the court banned dark magic and blood magic. Everything was going great, yeah, until that Queen passed away and her son Nhu took over the throne. He started out just fine, he did. But a lifetime of ruling left him cold, hard and hungry for more power. Five hundred years ago, he went to war with our neighbouring kingdoms and he was planning on lifting the ban on-on..."

He clears his throat, looking around the dark woods as though the trees had ears which, she supposes, they very well could considering the kind of planet she was on. "On _necromancy_. Wanted to create an army of undead or some such lunacy. That's when Queen Lah stepped in. Was but a youngling back then, she was. And yet she saved all of us from the wars and the dark magic. Well, that's what my dad taught me. I wasn't born yet when that happened."

"I was," an elf says. "Remember it like yesterday. King Nhu's court medicus was Grand Master over the order of necromancy, so the Queen threw him in the dungeon."

"Oh, so he's out for revenge?" Rose asks.

"No, miss. He's long since passed. But his apprentice... Well, he might be close to the Queen, but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, now, does it?"

"Wait. Who was his apprentice?"

"The current court medicus. Tropplis, his name is."

"Oh, my god," she says, covering her mouth with her hand. "But he's right there amongst them! Are you sure it's him?"

"Aye. S'what I saw in the serf's mind, miss."

"But why? They're friends!"

"I s'pose that's what he wants people to think," Olennh says, shrugging.

"Some people will always want power. The Queen lost her consort a few decades back and before that she lost her whole family. If she goes as well there's no one left to claim the throne. No one remembers how to fight anymore. We're a peaceful people. If Tropplis would storm the land with his undead army... Well, you can figure out the rest," says the elf.

"But they're not undead! Can he actually control these things?"

"According to what I saw in the serf's mind, he can't, no. All the tomes on necromancy were burned. All that's left is word of mouth, you see. Maybe something went wrong. There are legends about this disease, though, but I'm not sure, miss. The serfs seemed to know only what they needed to do their job. Were promised land and titles, they were," explains Olennh. "Reckon that offer was pretty hard to turn down."

The faerian keeping a lookout suddenly lands in front of Rose, making the group halt.

"So sorry, but there's a horde of infected up ahead. Can't go round them, would take ages, and we can't go back. We need to find some place safe for the night."

"But where? There's nothing but trees and darkness!" says Rose.

Olennh looks a little bit confused. "Take it your kind don't sleep in trees much?"

"Tarzan, maybe," she mumbles with a laugh. "Nah, we don't. I take it yours do."

"Aye, we do. These are good, miss," he says, patting the slick, thick trunk of a very tall tree. "See, the branches only grow at the top half of the tree. We faerians will fly us up and we'll be safe."

"But...what if I fall down?" she says, voice small and scared.

"It would be an honour to have you sleep in my arms, miss," says Olennh. "Mysticorians don't fall. We're all children of the forest."

"Uhm," Rose says, biting her lip. The thought of it is strange; however, sleeping in the arms of a stranger up in a tree on a distant planet sure beats being eaten by zombies. "Yeah, all right. Thanks."

He hands her his weapon, scoops her up in his arms and flies high up enough for her to be so scared she hides her face by burrowing it into his chest. He lands on a thick branch, sits down with his back against the trunk, locking his long legs around the branch and holding his arms wide open. She follows his lead, albeit tentatively, and makes herself as comfortable as she can, without being too intimate, in his embrace. He's thin but strong, not unlike the Doctor, and smells like dust, dirt and something spicy she thinks might be sweat. It's not unpleasant, just...different. The other people in the group have spread out amongst the trees. Some are sprawled over the branches like leopards, other sleep huddled together in heaps of limbs.

"You know," Olennh whispers, "they knew about you and your friend and what you're trying to do. S'why they were taking me, finally. Was gonna take care of all of us tonight. Rest of 'em are out with the wagon rounding up more. Feel stressed about this, they do. 'Cause of you and your friend."

"What were they gonna do with you lot, then?"

"Some would be... Well, the smaller kinds would be f-" He swallows audibly and shudders, and she strokes his arm comfortingly. "And the rest of us would be infected."

"If they bite you, how long do you have?" she murmurs, already feeling sleep take its hold on her.

"Someone like you? You're moderately sized, so about half a day, I gather," Olennh replies. "But we'll make sure that doesn't happen, won't we, miss?"

"Yeah. Sounds good. But, Olennh, stop calling me miss already, yeah?"

"If you like," he says, and she hears the smile in his voice.

"Yeah, I do," she mumbles, drifting off to sleep before she has a chance to say good night.


	11. Firsts

**Warning: contains a little violence and a bunch of smut. **

* * *

"Doctor, stop it. M'fine," Rose murmurs, swatting at the sonic screwdriver buzzing in her face.

"Doctor?" asks a male voice she can't quite place.

She opens her eyes slowly, blinking at the light and trying to take in her surroundings. Someone's holding her close, some sort of insect is flying around her head and her bum feels like she's been sitting on a hard wooden bench for hours. Oh, right.

"Sorry, Olennh. Was confused for a moment," she says and extracts herself from his embrace. "Am I the last one up?"

"Just about. The wee ones are waking up as we speak," he says, nodding towards a few gnomes in the neighbouring tree.

Upon hearing some groans and moans from below, she tries to ignore her vertigo and looks down. There's a horde of infected gathered around the trees. "Well, that's not good."

"Not one bit," he agrees.

Squinting and shadowing her eyes with her hand, Rose looks around. The twin suns are still low in the sky and the air feels chilly. "It's early, right?"

"Aye. We need to make the most of the daylight, Rose. Look at them," he says, pointing at the infected.

The Queen had spoken about rage, but the creatures down on the ground wander aimlessly around the trees, bumping into trunks as well as each other. She can't see their faces clearly, but she hears the sounds they are making and it's enough to make her shudder.

"Don't worry, mi- Rose. They don't know we're up here. Sunlight makes 'em stupid."

"That's good..." She turns to face him. "What's up with the 'miss', anyway?"

"Habit," he says, shrugging. "Serve the lord of our village, I do. As did my dad before me and his dad before him."

"Wha'? It's inherited? You're not-you're not _slaves_, right?"

"Nah. Slavery's banned. But it's common to follow your parents' footsteps, I s'pose. Hard doing anything but what's expected of you."

She laughs. "Yeah, know what you mean. Used to work in a shop, yeah. S'not fancy or anything, but my mum still thought I was getting airs or something." Looking down at the infected, she sighs and adds under her breath, "And now I'm here, sitting in a tree with a butterfly man looking at zombies."

"Pardon?" he says, crinkling his nose.

"Sorry," she says, dismissing her words with a wave of her hand. "So, what's it like working for a lord?"

They keep chatting quietly whilst waiting for the infected to move further from them so they can fly down to the ground again. Olennh tells her all about his life and, even though he doesn't complain, she hears the frustration in his voice. She can tell he likes taking care of others, but being a servant doesn't fulfill him and she can relate. She loved meeting new people every day and always had a knack for connecting with others, but it all felt so meaningless.

"You know, it wasn't until I met the Doctor that I really understood that I need to challenge myself to feel good. And that I need to make a change. Living a life, day after day... That's not for me anymore. Maybe you need something like that, yeah? Making a difference in your world."

"Mm, I think I'd like that," he says, soft smile playing on his dark, thin lips.

"My friend, the Doctor, he's working on a cure right now. Maybe you can help give the shots or something?"

His thick eyebrows shoot up. "Curing the infected? I'd like that very much, Rose, but... Wouldn't even know where to start."

"You don't have to know. The Doctor will show you what to do. Reckon he's gonna need a few extra sets of hands," she says, squeezing his encouragingly. Turning her attention to the horde, she says, "Look. They're not moving and we can't wait up here forever..."

"Pardon," one of the other faerians says. "My suggestion, if you don't mind, miss, is to start our descent right away. If we carry you wingless folks to those rocks over yonder, I figure we'll be okay. It's far but I think we can manage it."

It takes the faerians several minutes to carry everyone to the chosen spot. They chat a bit to form a plan once there. Depending on how much ground they can cover, they estimate they won't reach the castle until the next day, somewhere between midday and late night. The levrakoons can eat rocks instead of metal in a pinch, but the others need food and all of them need water. Therefore, they decide to stay off road and hope their plan will prevent them from running into the necromancers and their wagon.

There are only a few scraps of fabric left on Rose's skirt. She reckons they don't do much for her modesty or warmth at night, so she rips the fabric and gives the strips to the gnomes to fashion into sacks for gathering berries, roots and other edible things. The faerians, currently on flight duty, scout ahead looking for water. They finally start walking once the group is satisfied with their plan and Swip, the troll, quickly rushes to her side to keep her company just like he did last night.

* * *

They don't run into trouble until a few hours before dusk. They are on the plains; it's vast and flat as far as the eye can see. According to one of the elves, there should be an old abandoned worship building ahead. Darkness is fast approaching and they don't know if they'll make it in time or if they will be safe there but it's better than nothing, so they continue on, aching bodies be damned.

They haven't come across a water source, but their bellies and the makeshift sacks the gnomes are carrying are full of juicy fruits and berries. Rose is grateful the Doctor told her to stay away from anything blue. It seems like most of what they've found is of that colour, so had she not known she'd be writhing in stomach pain right about now. That would have been bloody inconvenient, to say the least.

She quickly realises most of the group are from the lower classes of their society, which makes her dislike Tropplis even more. Her new friends are servants, farmhands, milk maids, gardeners and such, but one of the trolls is an assistant to one of the village medici and, thankfully, knows which leaves to chew to make dressings for their bruised feet. It feels like Rose could just as well pour her shoes full of the guck and be done with it; she's all blisters.

The building is still not within sight when the second sun sets and the sounds of the fast approaching infected spreads through the landscape, making the group's fears crawl up their spines and take hold of their actions. They are all so tired and know that, despite keeping their weapons, they don't stand much of a chance against the flesh eaters. They ignore their aching feet and start running forward into the darkness as fast as they can. The terrifying sounds of the predators continue to grow closer. The infected are somehow faster than they are. Maybe that's what happens when you're fueled by pure rage and primal need or perhaps they are just oblivious to pain? Rose doesn't know and, in this exact moment, she doesn't really care either. She only runs.

As the building finally becomes visible against the horizon, the faerians grab one short-legged person each and fly fast towards the porch. Having seen the size of the horde by now, they know that fleeing is the only option. Olennh doesn't leave her side even though she begs him to, but that's what saves her in the end. They are closing in on the building and the infected are closing in on them. They fight as they run: clubbing with wild abandon, hitting heads, shoulders and chests, making splinters fly and blood splatter. Someone shrieks from pain and Rose hears the wet sounds of teeth sinking into flesh again and again, but she can't afford to turn around to check to see who has fallen. Olennh uses the last of his strength to pull her up into the air just as she feels hot fingers graze her calf. He flutters clumsily through the air and they crash land at the entrance. He's too tired to get up, so she drags him through the door and slams it shut right after the last of them runs inside. They quickly realise it was the friendly little troll, Swip, who fell and was eaten.

"He held my hand," Rose says, staring at her own. It's full of splinters, a few nails are broken and her skin is spotted with other people's blood.

Olennh cradles her hand with his and lifts it to his mouth for a kiss. "I'll hold your hand," he tells her and pulls her in for a hug.

* * *

The Doctor hasn't left the work chamber since he began working on developing the cure. Thanks to his Time Lord physiology, he suppresses all of his physical needs so he can finish up as quickly as possible. Tropplis and Beau are constantly by his side as his assistants. The Queen checks in on them frequently and two guards are positioned by the door at all times. He's not making progress as quickly as he originally estimated, but things are moving along nicely and he's fairly certain the cure will be ready by tomorrow. It's difficult for him to focus since his thoughts keep returning to Rose. He wonders where she is, if she's safe and he hopes with everything he's worth that she won't get bitten. He doesn't want her to have to go through the psychological trauma the disease would cause, but also because he has no idea how the virus would affect a human. It takes roughly a year for the virus to burn through a Mysticorian body, but they are much hardier than a human. He has entertained the thought of using the TARDIS for a quick trip to Earth once he's done, but he's too scared of accidentally landing a year too late to put that plan into action. Rose knows how to take care of herself so he just has to trust her.

He's somewhat surprised about Tropplis' position as court medicus because Beau is much more adept. Although, the former is centuries older and seems to have a solid friendship with the Queen, so the Doctor supposes that explains it. He sends Tropplis on errands because of this, so he doesn't have to suffer his clumsiness in the makeshift laboratory he has set up, and mostly relies on Beau instead. The medicus seems very annoyed by this, and rightly so since the Doctor undermines him, but the Queen allows it so the other man can't do anything but endure it. Under Tropplis' supervision, work stations are put up outside the castle walls and sick beds are placed on every free surface inside the castle. The plan is to usher the infected towards the castle during daylight and quickly inject them with the cure and carry them inside to rest. If everything works according to plan, the cure will put the diseased in a healing coma for either two hours or two days depending on how long they were infected.

When nightfall arrives, the Doctor discusses the progress with the Queen and she promises he will be free to go as soon as he has finished the cure and made sure all the work stations outside are properly equipped. He reaches into his pocket and squeezes the soft fabric of Rose's top. He'll do his absolute best to wrap this up as quickly as possible for her sake.

* * *

As it happens, the grounds around the abandoned worship building are littered with moonflora and the facade is covered with climbing sunflora: the perfect zombie repellant. The group laughs at their luck even though Swip is now gone and two elves have been bitten. Well, until someone points out that maybe they have to do something about the two elves because they might turn during the night. That shuts them all up and the building is painfully silent for several minutes afterward. Everyone looks at Rose to make a decision and she would give anything to have the Doctor with her right now. She whispers to Olennh that she has no idea what to do but he just squeezes her hand. She asks for a little time to mull it over and finally decides that the non-bitten will sleep in shifts so that someone is always guarding the bitten. She refuses to send anyone out and, luckily, no one protests.

The troll with medical knowledge tends to their wounds whilst they make a schedule for the night. The building has been stripped clean and is merely a shell of what it once was, so everybody curls up together in groups. Rose notices they wordlessly divide themselves by species and huddle close on the hard, wooden floor. Well, everybody except Olennh and the two bitten elves. The latter are already suffering from the disease, shivering from fever and exhaustion, and are resting far away from the others. The former lies down beside her and pulls her close as she snuggles into his chest for warmth and comfort, wishing she was somewhere else with someone else.

As morning arrives, the two elves are delirious from the fever and pain. Rose tells them to stay in the building, because her brilliant friend is making a cure and she promises she'll be back for them once the group reaches the castle. She has no idea at all if they understood her and it pains her to leave them, but there's nothing else she can do.

The horde is still outside the building, as though they can sense the flesh inside, but no one in the group trust their calm nature so they go upstairs and the faerians fly them to safer grounds one by one.

"Rose," Olennh says, once they are all together again. "We usually don't fly this much. Our wings can't take much more." He nods towards one of his friends. "He's completely worn out. The rest of us will have to share watch duty, but... I'm so sorry, but if we run into another pack..."

"S'okay," she says, soothing him by rubbing his arm up and down. "We'll make due."

They don't.

This time it's not the infected they come across-well, not initially anyway-it's the remaining members of the order of necromancy. They should have realised this as soon as the covered wagon showed up. Everything seemed fine at first, but then the driver sees Rose and she realises how much she, the only human, stands out. There are only five serfs, but they are rested and carry the toxin. The group understands what's happening at the exact same moment the serfs start shooting blow darts at them and, it takes them a second to react, but then they charge the serfs. They run wildly with their weapons raised, trying to duck the darts, and the commotion draws a flock of infected towards them.

Daylight makes them calmer and the difference is definitely noticeable. This lot, though, is wilder and Rose mutters a string of curses because she doesn't understand what's happening and that makes her furious. She calls the evil, lying arsehole of a Queen the most awful things for not telling her and the Doctor exactly how bad the situation is. Not once did she explain that hordes of infected roam the country. However, shortly after her rant, she recognises one of the infected as she hits it in the head. Her eyes roam over the group and she realises it's the same one as before. They've been following them and have covered more ground since they don't need the rest.

"It's their sense of smell," Olennh tells her, because he's still by her side and he can hear her mumbling. "Didn't realise at first, but... Think it's the smell of blood that drives them wild. Even during the day."

"Oh," she says, feeling even dumber. She hadn't thought about that possibility.

The group has enough scrapes and cuts to smell really good to a hungry zombie, but it's the fact that someone has hit one of the serfs hard enough to make blood flood out of the wound that makes the infected frenzied.

That's when everything gets insane.

Olennh and Rose are standing back-to-back, ready to fight, and around them half of their group lies sleeping on the ground because of the toxin. The infected attack them first, since they are easy prey, and Rose feels guilty for being thankful for it. The serfs have all been disarmed by the rest of the group, so they fight their way through the horde towards the wagon. It's their only shot of getting out. She's covered in blood and has smashed a chair leg into more heads than she cares to count. As she's about to jump up on the wagon, she sees an infected hurling herself towards Olennh, who is currently shielding one of the levrakoons with his much larger body. Rose throws herself at the attacker to fight her off and at first everything is going fine, but then she feels several sets of teeth sinking into her legs and she howls from the pain.

Fuck!

Olennh, the levrakoon, and one of the trolls manage to throw the infected off her and together they rush to the wagon. After helping her up onto the driver's seat, Olennh jumps up himself and takes the reins. The rest of the survivors scramble up and off they go before anyone else can get hurt.

"Half a day, yeah?" she asks, nervous laughter bubbling up in her throat.

Olennh's gorgeous, green eyes are endlessly sad. "I hope so."

"The Doctor has a cure for me," she says, a whimper of pain escaping her throat. "You'll see."

* * *

The Doctor's finally done and the Queen, true to her word, unlocks his shackles and hands him back his 'magic wand', as she calls his sonic screwdriver. He collects what he needs to make a vaccine once this madness is over, stashes it in the TARDIS and sets out to approve of the work stations so he can go find his Rose. He's not entirely sure how he's supposed to find her, but the Queen has agreed to lend him one of her horses. She, and a handful of armed guards, keep by his side as he looks through one station after the other and when there's only one left, a large wagon thunders into the courtyard. There are four people in the driver's seat and one of them is... Oh. Even from a distance he can see the bite marks covering Rose's legs and that her dress is nothing but a bodice anymore.

"Rose!"

The Queen and the Doctor rush toward the wagon, which has made a stop right outside the entrance of the castle. Looking utterly exhausted, Rose shivers as she leans on the faerian holding the reins. Her skin is pale and grey, her forehead covered in sweat and her eyes bloodshot. The Doctor scoops Rose up into his arms as soon as he's by her side and holds her closely to him.

"Doctor," she murmurs, smiling through the pain and then she turns to the Queen. "It's Tropplis. He's the one behind this. Oh, and they poisoned the sheets in my bed. Don't want the maid to get hurt."

The Queen's eyes widen but she accepts Rose's words as true and immediately turns around to give a couple of guards an order to apprehend the court medicus at once. Well, this certainly explains a lot of things. Tropplis wasn't incompetent, as the Doctor assumed, he was probably trying to sabotage the work. Had the Doctor not been so upset by the state Rose is in he might have laughed at how Tropplis' plan backfired, but right now he can think of little else but the bite marks covering her body.

"Your..." says the Doctor, staring at her legs.

"Oh, right. Yeah, I ruined the dress," she jokes. "You'd be proud of me, Doctor. Tied up that evil lot with my ribbons so we could escape."

"You're so clever," he whispers, because he can hear the pain in her voice and he's not sure he can hide his own if he speaks out loud.

"Well, then, you brilliant Time Lord. Give me the cure already." Her tone is light at first, but then she scrunches up her face and groans. "Kinda painful, this."

He can't breathe and his respiratory bypass system isn't even helping. It feels as though someone has thrust their hands into his chest and ripped his lungs out. He can't do anything but shake his head and stare at the woman cradled in his arms.

"But..." She crinkles her forehead. "Don't understand. You're all set up..." She winces as another wave of pain hits her.

"I need healthy human blood, Rose. Can't make the cure for you without it. There are no humans here. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," he says, trying to swallow down the painful lump in his throat. "Maybe we could go-"

He stops talking as Rose laughs at him.

"You daft alien," she says, cupping his cheek. "What would you do without me?"

"I don't care to find out," he confesses with a barely audible mumble.

"You took six tubes of my blood after New New York, remember?" she says, grinning her Rose Tyler grin.

Had he not held her in his arms, he would've slapped his forehead hard to punish himself for his own stupidity.

"Right. You," he says to the faerian. "Hold her. I have a cure to make! If you leave her side, I'll hunt you down," he adds, giving the poor man an Oncoming Storm glare to show he's being serious. He would rather bring Rose along but he doesn't have time to spare, so he unfastens the wagon horse and gallops through the castle until he reaches TARDIS.

Rose is still in the arms of the other man when the Doctor comes back. The faerian is singing her a lullaby and she smiles sweetly at him, making something in the Doctor break just a little bit. He quickly injects her with the cure and Rose kisses the faerian's cheek, whispering a 'thank you', before the Doctor picks her up and he grits his teeth to stop himself from saying anything foolish. Scared that he won't be able to maneuver the horse whilst keeping Rose safe in his arms, he decides to carry her back to the TARDIS. He stays silent as he runs, even though the faerian is right behind him, telling him everything that happened and that he wants to help. He explains how Rose freed them and how she got hurt saving his life but the Doctor only gets more upset. There's wonder in the faerian's voice and the Doctor knows a besotted man when he sees one. When they reach the time ship, the Doctor turns around and bores his eyes into the other man. He doesn't need telepathy to know that the faerian got the message: hands off. Mine.

It's all done. He's bathed her, tended to her wounds and changed her into something comfortable and she's lying asleep in her own bed. There's nothing to do but wait, so he's been sitting by her bed for hours alone with his thoughts. His incredibly stupid and toxic thoughts. He's ashamed of himself for allowing feelings like these to surface-especially when Rose is ill-but he can't stop himself. She smells of the other man and the other man smelled of her. He can't help but wonder what happened during the days they were apart. He's travelled enough with others to know what desperate times and situations do to people; he knows they feel a need to connect.

On the other hand... If she has done anything, does it matter? They've never given each other any promises. This thing between them is just about the physical release and they are free to do as they please, and yet... Oh, his chest feels tight and he needs to be close to her, so he curls up beside her in her bed and lets sleep take him as he holds her hand. It's been too long since he's allowed himself to rest.

* * *

Rose's first thought as she wakes up is how desperately she needs to use the loo, so she's up on her feet and halfway to her ensuite before she remembers what happened. Looking down at her body, she notices that all her wounds have been healed by the Doctor's fantastic medical equipment-it doesn't even hurt anymore-and there's a cute plaster over the spot on her arm where the Doctor gave her the shot. He must have given her a sponge bath as well, because all the blood that splattered over her during the fight is gone. He has also changed her into a pair of shorts and a tank top. He is also currently on her bed sound asleep. His cheeks are stubbled and he has dark circles under his eyes, so she reckons she shouldn't disturb him.

Sponge bath or not, Rose still smells of dirt, sweat and blood so, after relieving herself, she takes a shower. Letting the hot water spray work its magic on her slightly stiff body, she thinks back on the last three days and is amazed by how well she's feeling: safe, lucky and so alive. After washing her hair and body, she puts on her dressing gown and returns to her room to find the Doctor already awake and standing by her bed. He looks groggy, exhausted and like he barely registers her presence in the room, so she walks up to him and wraps her arms around his waist for a hug.

"Thanks for patching me up," she murmurs into his chest.

"Any time," he replies, rubbing her back with his hands.

She pulls back and goes to her wardrobe to take out some clothes. "You've got my trainers, right?"

"Why would you need your trainers?" he asks, face nothing but a frown.

"Uhm... Well, we left two elves behind in the building. Promised I'd come back for them."

"The Queen and her guards are curing people as we speak. They'll get to them eventually."

"_Eventually_?" she asks, staring at him incredulously. "D'you think it will be easy for any of 'em to wake up and know what they did? They _ate_people! Like to make sure at least those two don't have to experience that."

"Rose," he says, sighing and rubbing his eyes. "Don't you think the others have alerted the Queen already?"

"Oh, yeah, 'course," she says, nodding, but then she tilts her chin up. "But I'm going out there anyway. I wanna make sure Olennh's all right. He was pretty exhausted."

"Olennh?" His eyes almost pop out of his head. "You were this close to becoming zombie dinner and you wanna know if some fairy boy is _all right_?"

"He's not some fairy boy! He saved my life," she says.

"He didn't even get bitten!"

"So what? He'd like to help administering the cure and so would I, so I'm going."

"You-you-you..." he shouts, pulling his hair. "You just got better and you wanna go out there amongst all those infected and risk your life _again_?" He starts pacing the room. "It's not a vaccine, you know. You're not immune now. Why do you always insist on throwing yourself in harm's way?! Why did you have to go into that labyrinth, anyway? Why can't you ever just stay _put_?!" He groans loudly. "You infuriating..."

The Doctor keeps yelling at her for wandering off, doing stupid things and risking her life for others and she takes it. Normally, she would shout back that she's proud of herself and that she did the right thing, but that's not what this is about and she doesn't want to partake in a pointless argument. He's proud of her too, there's no doubt in her mind about that. His voice might be angry, but the only emotions she sees are fear and desperation; there's no rage burning in his dark eyes. This life is better with two, but she is all he has and he almost lost her.

He's so upset his English turns into Gallifreyan and, even though the words must be harsh since the TARDIS refuses to translate them, they are beautiful, melodic and soft to Rose's ears. Never before have they been apart for this long during their travels and now, when they have deepened their relationship, she suffered the separation so much more. Perhaps, it was equally hard on him? At least she was fighting to get back to him, whilst he was locked up and unable to come look for her. If there is one thing the Doctor hates, it's being powerless. Oh, this has taken its toll on him and he looks so worn it makes her heart ache. There's only one thing she wants to do right now and, luckily, it's also the only thing she can think of to help him calm down.

After walking up to him, she works out the knot in his tie and slides it off. He's so wrapped up in his rant he doesn't seem aware of what she's doing, so she unbuttons his shirt and pushes it off his shoulders. His trousers and boxers soon follow suit and, within seconds, he's naked, angry and trembling before her. Mindful of his intimacy issues, she hasn't looked at his face once since she started undressing him and she refrains from taking in his form or run her hands up and down his body. Turning around, she shrugs out of her dressing gown and places her palms against the wall so she can arch her back and push her bum out. He stops talking as soon as she grinds into him with a moan and she can feel him tense up. For a split second she's terrified she's mucked things up, but then his fingers rub her just right, making her slick and ready for him.

Feeling his hard cock at her entrance makes her smile and she hums as he pushes himself into her until he's sheathed to the hilt. His thrusts are frenzied at first, matching the way he was just scolding her, but then... Fuck! He suddenly slips out of her and she can barely breathe as panic courses through her. Was she too forward? It's the first time she's initiated sex and it's the first time she's undressed him. Oh, god, she pushed too far! Just as she's about to stutter an apology, he grabs her by the shoulders and spins her around.

Rose doesn't have a chance to see his face before he crushes his body into hers, burrowing his face into the crook of her neck in a desperate hug. Gently swaying from side to side, she murmurs comforting words into his ear and strokes his back as he clutches hers. Scared that he might not be ready yet, she keeps what she truly wants to tell him to herself. Sometimes, she thinks he must know and other times she's certain he's too alien to understand human emotions. One of the few things she knows about his people is that they were raised to be rational and love is anything but rational. Maybe all he knows is what he's read in textbooks written by stuffy scholars who have never experienced the real thing and that doesn't really teach you anything, does it? She has seen so many examples of him not grasping even the most basic of feelings-the first time being when she thought Mickey had died and the Doctor mistook her grief for culture shock from being inside the TARDIS. She almost chuckles as she remembers all the misinterpretations made by her daft alien, who's so brilliant in all other aspects, but then she hears him whisper.

"I ran tests when you were recovering. The virus works differently on humans. You would've..." She feels him draw in a shaky breath and she tightens her grip around him in response. "If you hadn't come here when you did... Please don't go back out there."

Rose takes his hand, bringing it to her heart and pressing it against her body so he can feel the strong steady beats for himself. He straightens up, so she rests her head against his chest and takes advantage of the closeness to breathe him in. So many things about him have changed, but he still smells exactly the same and his skin is just as cool as before and, for a moment, it's like she's in the arms of someone blue eyed and Northern.

She's brought out of her musings when she realises he has yet to soften. Her sex feels swollen and throbbing with need and there are better ways to prove to him that she's still alive. Wrapping one leg around his hip, she rubs herself against him as she lets one hand drift down to his bum so she can push him even closer. His response is immediate. Growling, he hoists her up and presses her against the wall and she feels the head of his cock bobbing against her opening. Panting into her ear, he teases her for a moment and she bucks her hips against him in an effort to urge him into action. When he finally enters her again, she lets out a long mewl of relief and leans her head back as he nips at her throat. She's waited so long for this; being able to hold him close as he pounds into her is better than anything she's ever felt before. His fingers bore into the soft flesh of her arse as he moves her up and down his shaft in erratic motions. He comes really fast and, for the first time since they started this relationship, before she's even close. However, this is the Doctor and no matter how upset he is, she knows he'll take care of her needs.

Sucking on her earlobe, he carries her to her bed and they lie down together as the room turns dark from his silent command to the TARDIS. Lavishing her skin with open-mouthed kisses, he moves down her body until he reaches her breasts and she arches her back to show him what she wants. His nimble fingers and swirling tongue make her nipples pucker and his ministrations send heat straight to her core, increasing her need for friction. Whimpering, she desperately rubs her sex against his leg until he gets the hint and releases the peak he's sucking on so he can move down to her curls. When he finally starts licking her clit in time with his fingers thrusting into her, she can barely control her reaction and he has to hold down her bucking hips with his free hand.

She usually never touches him and feels like she's really been pushing her limits tonight, but since he didn't seem to mind her earlier comforting caresses, she decides to just go for it and let her hands find the back of his head. Being able to tug gently on his dark tresses, run her fingers over the stubble of his jaw, and caress his cheeks as he pleasures her, makes it so much more _real_. He could be anyone in the dark, but touching him like this leaves no doubt of his identity and that turns her on even more. When she clamps down hard on his fingers and shouts out her release, she lets go of his hair and clutches the sheets so she doesn't hurt him. He allowed her to touch him as he licked her and joy bubbles up from her stomach to her chest at the thought of it.

He quickly pushes inside her again and if she thought being fucked up against the wall front to front was good, this is just... _Ooooh_. She is able to wrap her legs around his waist and her arms around his back as he moves over her and it feels so much more intimate than what she's experienced with him so far. He's closer to her now than he's ever been before. She's enveloped in his scent and can kiss the sweat off his neck and shoulder. Pushing deeply into her, he grinds his pelvis into her clit with each stroke and fills her ear with dirty words in Gallifreyan. She has no idea what it means but her imagination is good and the heat coils tighter and tighter in her center for every translation she makes up. She's already feeling the knot tighten in her stomach, so she snakes one hand down to where they are joined to help herself along.

They come together this time and she bites down on his shoulder to stop herself from crying out the love she so desperately tries to hide from him. He stays inside her as he rolls over on his side, pulling her close to him and, within seconds, he falls back asleep.

This is a night of firsts: kisses, albeit not on the mouth; face-to-face positions, even if she never did see his face; him being vocal, only in a language she doesn't understand; and post-coital snuggling, even though he started snoring right away. It's still not exactly what she's longing for, but this is more than he's ever given and she feels like she's being rewarded for being patient. It looks like everything is getting better and the only proof she needs now is him staying in her bed until morning. She feels like he very well might, so she joins him in sleep with a smile on her face.


	12. Frailty

**Warning: explicit sex**

* * *

Despite being barely awake, Rose and the Doctor are enjoying this moment with one another. They are spooning with her leg wrapped around his thigh as he caresses her bundle of nerves in slow circles, moving in and out of her with languid strokes. He murmurs dirty words in his native tongue against her shoulder and she gets gooseflesh as his mouth brushes over her bare skin with every syllable. She's usually so loud, but now nothing but soft sighs and hums escape her lips. They have never been gentle before and there was a time when she thought she would always want it rough, but she finds that this tender moment is nothing but blissful. Instead of her orgasm hitting her hard, it's sweet and fulfilling and she bites her lip to stop dangerous words from tumbling out of her mouth. Nothing can stop her from feeling it, though, and her chest is close to bursting from the warm and exhilarating emotions swirling around inside her. The last wave of her climax washes through her and he spills himself into her after two more strokes, nuzzling his face into her hair and exhaling loudly. He's still inside her, with his fingers between her folds, when she falls back asleep, feeling safer and more content than ever before.

When she wakes up, hours later, she has the most pleasant feeling in the pit of her stomach but, when she reaches out to touch her Time Lord, she finds the bed empty. She almost panics at first, but then she realises it doesn't really matter if he stayed until morning or not. After all, the Doctor is not the kind of person who will linger in bed all day and the sex they just had tells her things are about to change. She grins like a fool whilst quickly going about her morning routine before she starts rummaging through her closet to find something the Queen won't look down her nose on. Rose settles on an airy summer dress and a pair of ballet flats and skips out to the console room without so much as a single thought about breakfast. All she wants is to see her Doctor.

"Hello!" she greets him, once he's in sight.

She's buzzing with happiness and can't wait to see where this will lead, but when he doesn't even look up from what he's doing it feels as though someone has forcefully wrenched the joy from her body and she nearly staggers back from the unexpected pain. However, she doesn't have time to reflect on what his behaviour might mean because she sees his fingers on the directional unit ready to enter the coordinates to their next destination.

"Ah, you're up," he says, staring at the monitor. "Any preferences?"

She rushes forward and yanks his hands off the console before he's had a chance to dematerialise. She really believed she would be smiling the whole day through, earning herself some pretty tired cheeks come evening, but now her good mood is gone. Besides her mum, there's no one in the entire universe who can drive her as mental as the Doctor and she feels anger rising within her.

"What?" he says, and he has the audacity to sound offended by her actions.

"We can't leave yet!"

"Why not?"

Her jaw drops. "God, you're so _alien_ sometimes," she growls.

He holds out his hands, palms up. "What?"

"I went through _hell_ with those people. We lost half of our group. _They were eaten right in front of me_," she shouts and recoils when she hears her own voice. She really hadn't meant to be so loud, but his stupid Time Lord behaviour makes her see red. "And what about Olennh?"

"What about Olennh?" he asks through gritted teeth.

"We looked out for each other, saved each other's lives and now he won't even know if you were able to cure me! Do whatever you like, Doctor, but I'm not leaving without saying goodbye!"

She stomps down the ramp, opens the doors and exits the TARDIS. God, she just can't believe that stupid Time Lord git! Whenever he acts like this she can't help but be curious about what life was like on Gallifrey. Is compassion a completely new concept for those pompous arsewipes? She rushes through the castle halls, practically seething, and the guards point her in the right direction without a word.

* * *

The Doctor decides not to follow her but, after fifteen minutes, he's so nervous and restless he can't help but bounce out of his ship. After talking to the guards, he finds out Rose has gone to the great hall where the Queen and her help are apparently still working hard to help the infected. It's only a five minute walk there, but that's plenty of time to think when you're gifted with an amazing mind such as his. He can ponder many things at once but, at the moment, most of those things are, unfortunately, regarding Rose since he did something insanely stupid last night. Thinking about it now, in the light of day, makes his hearts race and cheeks flush and he's endlessly grateful that she didn't understand him. It was obviously just something that poured out of him in the heat of the moment, something he knows happens quite frequently during intercourse without it meaning anything whatsoever...oh.

_Oh!_

Wait a minute. If that is true, then why has _she_ never...?

He stops dead in his tracks, making the guard escorting him bump into his back.

"Pardon, my lord," the guard says.

"Yes, yes. Fine," he mumbles, but doesn't move from the spot.

Rose is human and humans are universally known for their passionate nature and lack of self-control, so the only reason as to why she's never even been _close_ to saying it must be because she doesn't feel it. Come to think of it, she has never even said his _name_.

Huh.

Well...that makes a whole lot of sense, doesn't it? He knows she loves him-one doesn't tear apart a time ship and make one's way into a Dalek battle for someone they don't love after all-but he always assumed it was platonic. Well, it's not something he likes to ponder much, never was, and he has to admit it's one of the few areas where he's not an expert. However, after they started their..._arrangement_, he sometimes thought that maybe...but, no. She said it herself, didn't she? Her New Year's resolution was to not settle and if she felt like _that_ for him she would've said so by now. Rose Tyler wouldn't accept this strange little affair if she really wanted more, would she?

"Uhm," grunts the guard behind him. "Gonna make a move, my lord?"

"_What?!_ Oh, right. Yes. Thank you," he says and makes his way towards the courtyard.

It's not like she's been living in celibacy whilst waiting for him to see what's right in front of him. No, ever since they met she has either been in the arms of Mickey the Idiot or flirted with every pretty boy out there who happens to catch her eye. She's even doing it now with that Olennh nitwit, for Rassilon's sake! All she ever did with the Doctor before he changed was innocent flirting and some teasing, knowing it would never lead to anything. Oh, he recognises that pattern! It's not the first time a girl on the verge of womanhood has seen him as someone she can safely practice her feminine wiles on. That is, after all, bound to happen when he lets his young female companions believe he is asexual. Rose didn't even view him as a man most of their first year together! That's pretty telling, isn't it? She's a right little minx, that one, with a sexual appetite like the best of them. Oh, if Captain Jack had only known... Well, no, it's very good Jack never knew! If given the choice, she would probably copulate with the handsome human instead of the Gallifreyan genocidal maniac. Although...he _is_ rather fit this time around and it's only natural that she is attracted to him even if there are no romantic feelings involved. Typical human behaviour, that.

"Doctor! How lovely of you to join us!"

"Huh?" he says, confusedly looking up from the floor and meeting the eye of the Queen. She's standing in the doorway of the great hall, dressed in something very plain covered with a large apron. "Ah. Hello!"

"Deep in thought?" she asks, smiling at him as though she knows the exact nature of said thoughts.

"Nah, not me. How's it going, then? Is my little cure working its magic?" he says, knowing that this lot is centuries away from recognising their concept of magic for the science it truly is.

"Yes, follow me."

He's never been in the great hall before this, and he isn't sure what it looks like normally, but now it's full of sickbeds with recuperating Mysticorians. They all look a bit worse for wear and the volunteers are working hard by sponge bathing the patients and replacing their ragged clothing with simple white shifts.

"How many?"

The Queen smiles proudly, her eyes glittering with unshed tears of joy. "Already seventy, Doctor, and it's not even been a day! I cannot express how grateful I am, how grateful we all are, for your help." She grabs his hand, squeezing it tightly. "Thank you ever so much."

He acknowledges her by slowly nodding, but right now he's less interested in the sick and more interested in why he can't see his young companion in the room. Rubbing his neck with his free hand, he asks, "Ehm, seen Rose?"

She lets out an amused sound through her nose. "Why, yes. She's in the garden with Olennh having breakfast. I will take you there, but first," she says, linking her arm with his, "I have something for you."

She waves to one of the guards, who steps up and hands the Doctor two flower pots with the twin plants he's studied.

"Oh, I already have samples to use for the vaccine, Lah."

"I am aware," she says, smiling. "This is for your garden. Plant these, my friend. I have a feeling you will need them someday."

"Okay," he says, carefully tucking them into his transdimensional pocket. "Where are all the serfs, then? I know they're discreet, but I haven't seen a single one."

The Queen holds up her hands. "Oh, would you believe it? They were all in cahoots with Tropp! We found a secret tunnel in the old labyrinth. They were planning to invade the castle during one of my balls." She scoffs, shaking her head. "Well, I suppose I should use this as an opportunity to reflect upon how I treat my servants. They have been so attentive, caring and were always around and... Well," she says, giving him a look he can't quite interpret as she links her arm with his again and starts walking towards the garden. "I forgot they have needs too and I took their loyalty and service for granted. Once this whole madness is over, I will start making changes in how I run my home."

"...and Tropplis?"

"He is in the dungeon. Beau will be a fine court medicus," she says, smiling, yet there's bitterness in her eyes and the lines around her mouth. She must be devastated to learn about how one of her closest friends has deceived her for years, probably even decades, but she refuses to take the time to be sad. She has a country to rule and can't let her personal feelings get in the way of that and, not for the first time, it strikes him how similar they are in some aspects.

They stop in the archway leading to the garden, giving them a perfect view of the table where Rose and her friend sit. The Doctor leans against a column with his hands shoved into his pockets as he watches them. Olennh is completely wrapped up in Rose, who is chatting and beaming in that mesmerising way of hers. The look on his face is eerily familiar; the Doctor has seen it many times on young women he has just saved.

"He is a servant boy," Lah quietly says. "One hundred and twelve and the most interesting thing to have ever happened in his life, before this, was the lady of the house giving birth to triplets. You know, faerians rarely have more than just one child."

"Mm," the Doctor hums, grinding his teeth.

"It is only a little hero worship on his part, Doctor. No need to fret."

"She's free to do as-"

He stops talking as he sees the other man pull Rose in for a tight hug and turn his head slightly into the crook of her neck, just on the cusp of being too intimate. The faerian's hands touch Rose's bare skin because, for some reason, hoodie-and-jeans loving Rose is wearing a dress with thin straps and an open back. Did she _dress up_ for Olennh? She's rubbing her hands up and down his back and the Doctor can clearly see the smile on her face. What the...? The Doctor is just about to walk over there to distract them with some funny anecdote when Lah lays her hand on his arm, stopping him. He turns to her with an eyebrow quirked, but she only smiles and shakes her head at him.

"She will leave with you shortly to live amongst the stars, Doctor. Let them say goodbye. I will walk you back to your travelling box."

He looks back at the two young people sharing breakfast and finds them still hugging, but now Rose is speaking, what the Doctor hopes to be, words of goodbye to the other man. He quickly turns on his heel and leaves the garden because she _is_ free to do as she chooses and he's just a broken old man who should know better.

* * *

Rose is in a group hug with Olennh and the other six survivors from the cells in the dungeon and it almost has her in tears. Knowing that the Doctor and she will return to visit once he has completed the vaccine doesn't stop her from feeling bad about leaving. However, she knows he never stays for the clean up and she is starting to feel a bit peaked, so she says goodbye to her new friends and turns to leave.

"Rose, wait," says Olennh, offering her his arm. "May I walk you back to your blue shed?"

"Yeah, 'course!" she says, linking her arm with his.

"I'm sorry you have to go so soon."

"Yeah, me too. But that's life with the Doctor," she says with a shrug.

"What you do... Travelling from realm to realm, performing miracles... Must be wonderful." He knits his brows, eyeing her carefully, and adds, "...and dangerous."

"Yeah, it's always dangerous," she answers, laughing. "Part of what makes it wonderful, I reckon. Dunno...we like that, me and the Doctor."

"Does this happen often? You getting harmed like this."

"No, not like this. I mean, I've had my share of scrapes and bruises but this..." She licks her lips and fiddles a little with her earring. "This was a bit different."

"I have to admit I'm surprised to see you up and running this soon."

"Wasn't sick for very long. Never did feel that craving, you know?"

She smiles reassuringly to him, but Olennh doesn't seem convinced. "Forgive me, Rose, but you look a bit... No, I mean you're beautiful of course, but you're..." He frowns as he seems to search for the right words.

"Well, I _am_ kinda tired. Think I should've stayed in bed a bit longer. Was that why you offered to walk me back?"

Fluttering his wings, he flushes and ducks his head. "Partially." He wistfully looks at the blue time ship, which presents a stark contrast against the medieval-like backdrop of stone walls, plate armours and oil paintings of frolicking woodland nymphs. "You really live inside that shed?"

"Yeah. S'bigger on the inside. D'you wanna take a look?"

"Uhm... Suspect your Doctor wouldn't take kindly to it," he says with a crooked smile. "But we'll see each other again," he assures her, reaching out to caress her arm. "It's been an honour and a pleasure saving you and being saved by you, Rose Tyler."

He leans in to kiss her, but she turns her head before his mouth finds hers and she hears him sigh as he brushes his lips against the apple of her cheek.

"S'been an honour and a pleasure saving you and being saved by you, too, Olennh," she says, pulling him in for a hug. "'Til next time."

He bows slightly, turns around and leaves whilst she remains standing in place watching him, until he's out of sight. She knows how easy it is to fall for someone when one is in life-and-death situations; however, she still can't help but feel slightly guilty for not returning his affections. Well, to be completely honest, she thinks she could have fancied him had her heart not belonged to someone else. Someone who's currently waiting for her inside the time ship.

Her heart beats rapidly as she inserts her TARDIS key, because she doesn't know what to make of the Doctor's detached demeanor this morning. Unlike their first time, he acted as though something actually happened between them instead of being his usual carefree and bubbly self, so she's beginning to regret initiating sex last night.

She opens the door and walks through it and, to her surprise, finds the console room almost pitch black. She can't make out anything aside from the soft glow of the time rotor since the room in which the TARDIS is parked is bright, and her eyes are trying to adjust to the lack of light.

"Doc-"

She's pushed into the now closed doors as the Doctor presses his lean but strong body into hers. Grabbing her hips, he buries his face in the crook of her neck and alternates gentle bites and hard sucks on her skin. _Ooooooh._ Drawing in a long shuddering breath, she tugs his shirt free from his trousers so she can run her hands up his torso; however, before she touches skin he takes her hands and links her arms around his neck. She trembles as she feels his hands run up her thighs, taking the skirt of her dress with them and tucking the hem into the dip of the neckline to give him better access to her body. Playing by his rules, she settles on leaning her head back and wrapping one leg around his hip so he can shower her with his attention. He doesn't waste a lot of time on foreplay; there's just some light teasing of her clit with his fingers and hungry laps on her nipples with his tongue. Luckily, that's enough for her to be slick and ready for him when he unzips himself and shoves her knickers aside to plunge into her.

Keeping his hips still so she can adjust to his size, he nips at the sensitive skin at her collarbone and then soothes the marks with his cool tongue. She wants to give as good as she gets, but she's respectful of his issues and holds back. The only thing she allows herself to do is bury her fingers in his gorgeous hair, running her nails over his scalp as he begins to move. His thrusts are frantic, his grip on her body is possessive and his bites are a lot sharper than usual and she realises he must have been watching her and Olennh on the monitor. This is the Doctor staking his claim. She loves when he gets like this because it's _so good_ and every nip on her throat sends hot bolts to her center and heightens the pleasure she's already feeling. She can tell by the way he moves that he's close and, just like last night, he spills into her before she has found her own release. He rests his head on her shoulder for a second and she shivers as his breath hits her neck in staccato. She loves moments like these when he allows himself to be vulnerable in her arms but, unfortunately, they never last long.

Encircling his arms around her waist, he carries her over to the console and carefully puts her down on the edge where there are no buttons or levers. Kneeling in front of her, he lifts up her legs and lays them over his shoulders as he buries his face between her thighs. She's already _so close_ and it takes little effort for him to make her climax by licking her, but she feels empty as she clenches around nothing and wants him back inside her _now_. Grabbing his arms, she helps him up on his feet again and, as he enters her, he groans something in Gallifreyan before silencing himself by sucking on her neck. Scared of being pushed into the hard pieces of the console, she tightens the hold of her legs and arms around his body as he keeps pounding into her.

Her ears are ringing and at first she thinks it's from the amazing orgasm he just gave her but the noise never dies down. It's getting harder to breathe, her neck is straining to keep her head up and it seems like the world is spinning. Oh, this is not good.

"Doc-doctor," she pants, boring her fingers into his back muscles.

"Rose," he moans, peppering her jawline with soft kisses.

"Doctor, please," she mumbles, struggling to keep her head from lolling back.

"Anything," he whispers against her skin as he moves closer to her lips with his own.

He's right at the corner of her mouth when she says, "Doctor, stop," and she feels him freezing in her arms. "I'm...I don't feel so well," she croaks. "I think I'm about to faint."

* * *

The mix of shame and arousal makes the Doctor's head fuzzy, so it takes him a couple of seconds to understand what's happening when his pink and yellow human goes limp in his arms.

"Rose?" he says, voice small. "What...?"

Holding her close, he runs to the infirmary so he can examine her and find out what's wrong. It's not until he's about to put her down on the gurney that he notices he's still inside her and the realisation combined with the guilt that follows almost makes him drop her. Gingerly, he lays her down and rearranges her dress to cover her up and then tucks his now softening penis back into his pants and trousers. After a quick examination, it's clear to him that Rose is fine and, as he sits down on a stool by her bedside, a shuddering breath of relief escapes him. She's only overexerted, but that could easily have been avoided had he only had some self control.

The Doctor doesn't leave her side except to run out into the console room to take them into the vortex. His excuse is that he needs to monitor her, even though he has fancy equipment and a sentient time ship to do that for him, but the truth is he just can't leave her. Not when he's the reason why she's in this state.

He leans over, resting his forehead against her shoulder. "I'm so, so sorry, Rose. I don't-I don't know..." he whispers, entwining his fingers with hers. "I wish things could be different. I wish..."

Shaking his head, he sits up again and releases her hand. He needs to put some distance between them because this isn't working. When she first said his name he thought... He runs his hands over his face and exhales sharply. Well, it doesn't matter what he thought or how it felt before he realised she only... No, he can't think about this. How is he supposed to face her once she wakes up? Fortunately, the really foolish things tumbling from his lips were in Gallifreyan, but her name and that bloody 'anything' are bad enough.

Hopefully, she will do what they always do and pretend he never said anything. Oh, she's human and probably used to blokes saying all kinds of stupid things during sexual intercourse. Yes. She'll know he didn't mean anything by it and that is was nothing but a simple mistake. Accepting their relationship was wrong of him; he should have nipped it in the bud instead of letting things progress and get out of hand. This has to end_now_.

They have grown too close lately, almost acting like a proper human couple, and that has confused him. That's all. He's sure the solution is to not only stop shagging, but also to break their habit of sharing a bed, hugging and holding hands. Besides her being attracted to his body, she doesn't feel anything but deep friendship for him so he's sure she won't be too upset by the changes in their relationship. Both of them would benefit from a small break, so he'll let her stay at her mother's flat for a couple of days, whilst he works on meditation techniques and his self control. He _will_ be successful this time, because the only alternative is to leave her behind and that's the last thing he wants to do.

* * *

Rose knows she's been lying in bed too long because her back is aching. She tries to sit up, but it hurts too much so instead she moans and rolls over on her side. A cool hand is pressed against her forehead and she hears a very familiar hum.

"Doctor?" she says, trying to open her eyes.

"Sssh," he says. "Take it easy for a few minutes, Rose, all right?"

"'Kay. What happened?"

"You don't remember?" he asks and she shakes her head. "You fainted."

"When?"

"Twenty hours ago, in the, ehm, in the console room."

"In the console..." She knits her brow. "Last thing I remember I was eating breakfast with Olennh. No, wait, he walked me back to the TARDIS, right?"

"Yes, that's right. Is..." She hears him swallow. "Is that all you remember?"

"Yeah." She rubs her eyes and, this time, succeeds as she makes another effort to open them. The Doctor is blurry for a few seconds, but then her vision clears and, to her surprise, she finds him looking sad. His expression worries her, so she asks, "What is it? Am I... Didn't the cure work?"

"Oh, you're fine, Rose. Just overexerted. It's my fault; I should've made sure you stayed in bed yesterday."

"No," she says, patting his hand. "I felt fine when I woke up. You couldn't have known."

Ducking his head, he inhales deeply. "Rose, I..." he breathes out, looking so very earnest, but then something in his attitude changes and he smiles instead. "I need to get a few things for the vaccine on a planet where humans aren't allowed. I'll drop you off at the Estate for a day or two, all right? You need to rest and this way I know there'll be someone there to look after you. Besides, it's been, oh, what? Three weeks since our last visit and I know how she gets," he says, rubbing his cheek. "Is that...is that okay with you?"

"Yeah, but... Doctor, don't tell her about this. I mean, she took the werewolf thing pretty well but this?"

"Wouldn't dream of it. I have a feeling I'd have my head beaten to a pulp with a rolling pin if she knew."

"Mum doesn't even own a rolling pin," she says, laughing.

"Uh-oh, frying pan, then. Even worse. Might regenerate from that," he says, looking scared. "Well, I'll set the coordinates. Will you be able to walk to your room and get ready, or do you need me to carry you?"

Her eyes almost pop out of her head. "_Carry_ me?"

"Well, I don't have a wheelchair, so..." he says, rubbing his neck. "Really, it's no... I mean, I know I might not look it but I am _very_ strong."

She swings her legs over the edge of the bed, easing down onto the floor. "Yeah, I know. You're very manly, Doctor," she assures him, smiling as he preens. "I'm all right, though. Meet you in the console room in a few minutes."

Instead of doing her usual morning routine, Rose only brushes her teeth, uses the loo and changes her clothes. She still has her old things at her mum's flat so she doesn't even bother to pack a bag. She feels the TARDIS shudder as they land before she has time to reach the end of the corridor. She enters the console room and sees the Doctor standing by the doors.

"Well, then," he says. "I, ehm, I parked her in your mother's living room so you don't have to walk all that way. It's, er, it's Friday afternoon so you have the weekend together."

"Thank you," she says, smiling.

"I'll pick you up in a couple of days."

"You're not coming out to say hello? Mum's gonna be upset."

"She's not...ehm, according to the TARDIS there's no one in the flat. Didn't you...? Oh!" He pats his pockets and then sticks his hand into one of them and pulls out her mobile. "I forgot to give this back to you. Maybe you should call her and make sure she's not busy. I'm _not_ leaving you to recuperate with Mickey."

Giggling, she grabs the mobile and shoves it into her pocket. "Known Mickey all my life and he's been there for me almost every time I've felt poorly. He's really attentive! You judge him way too harshly." Looking very displeased, the Doctor harrumphs and she can't help but smile at his need of always being the best. "Not as attentive as you, of course, Doctor. You're very good at taking care of me when I'm sick," she adds, grinning as he straightens his back and looks smug. "And don't worry. Mum's probably just at the market or with Bev. I'll be all right and if not, I'll call, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"'Kay, then..." She regards him for a moment, since he makes no effort to hug her. "What happened, Doctor? Did...was..." she trails off, not knowing how to finish her question.

Standing stiffly with his head held a little too high, he looks really uncomfortable and there's something guarded in the way he meets her gaze. Closing her eyes, she tries to remember what happened after she said goodbye to Olennh but it's just blank. The way he's acting, though... Ooooh, what if they were having sex? No wonder he's barely touching her. He must be scared she's still somewhat fragile after fighting off the infection if she fainted whilst shagging. Well, if that's the case, she'd better get her rest.

"See you in a few days, then," she tells him with a smile and gives him a quick hug before stepping out of the TARDIS.


	13. Doubt

Rose doesn't bother calling her mum while she's waiting in the flat, thinking it will be a fun surprise for Jackie to find her sprawled out on the sofa watching some telly. Hours pass by and she eventually drifts off into a dreamless slumber, still feeling the effects of her body fighting off the disease that was coursing through her system. She wakes up hours later from the sounds of a key turning in the lock and her mum and a male companion walking into the flat. Jackie giggles at something the man murmurs and, knowing her mum and what usually takes place once she's dragged a bloke home from the pub, Rose thinks it best to make her presence known. Sitting up, she quickly wipes the drool off her face, runs her fingers through her hair and straightens her clothing. The last thing she wants is to see her mum in any sort of compromising position, so she calls out before her mum and her friend have had a chance to walk any further into the flat.

"Mum! In here."

"Rose? Rose, sweetheart, is that you?"

"Yeah," she replies, as her mum and her friend walk into the room.

The man is roughly Jackie's age and has that square bull-look about him her mum likes, but his eyes are kind and he seems a bit flustered by Rose's presence. He clears his throat, shifting a little and waving. "Hello. I'm Frank."

"Hi, Frank. I'm Rose," she says, waving back.

"Where's himself, then?" asks Jackie, eyes flitting around the flat.

"He's, uhm... Well, there's this thing he needs to pick up somewhere and, uhm, well they don't allow visitors there."

"Don't allow... Oooooooh. I see. Hold on. Does this mean I have you all to myself? Never thought I'd see the day," Jackie says, chuckling. "How long's he gonna be, then?"

"I'm not sure. A day or two, I think. You know what he's like. Always runs into trouble, that one."

"Finally! I'll make us a cuppa so we can chat."

"What d'you mean, 'finally'?"

"Always hangs around you, doesn't he? I've not been alone with you in ages!" her mum exclaims and, for once, she isn't exaggerating. Rose can't even remember the last time it was just the two of them hanging out without the Doctor.

"Uhm... You still aren't, though, mum," Rose says, nodding at poor Frank.

"Oooh, right. Sorry, love, but my only child's come home for a visit, so..." Jackie shrugs, smiling sheepishly at the man. "I'll call you, yeah?" She quickly ushers him out of the flat and then drags Rose into the kitchen.

Rose grins at her mum. "So, Frank, huh?"

"Never mind that," her mother says, dismissing her daughter's comment by waving her hand. "Now I can finally ask you all about you-know-what?" she continues, eagerly nodding.

"Uhm, no. About what?"

"Oh, you know," Jackie says with a sensationalistic glint in her eye. "What's it like?"

"What's _what_ like?"

"Rose," her mother whines, "you've never been a prude before! Now, out with it."

Rose's eyes widen. She can't mean..._that_, right? "What the hell are you on about?"

Jackie folds her arms over her chest, shaking her head. "Can't believe my only daughter shags an alien and won't even tell me the details. Never did get to know what else he's got two of, did I?"

"Mum!" she says, mouth falling open in shock. "The Doctor and I aren't _shagging_!"

"Please." Rolling her eyes, her mum snorts at her. "If you wanted me to believe that you don't go at it like rabbits in that box of his, then perhaps you should've worn a polo neck today, love."

"What?" Rose squeaks, covering her neck with her hands as she runs to the bathroom. She was much too tired this morning to do anything but brush her teeth and change her clothes, so she never even cast as much as a glance in the mirror. Now, though, standing in the harsh fluorescent light in her mother's flat, staring at her own reflection, Rose sees her neck and shoulders are covered in hickeys and bite marks. Oh. _Fuck_. "Why the hell didn't he warn me," she mutters under her breath.

"Oh, he already knows I know," her mum says from behind her.

Rose spins around so fast she almost loses her balance. "He _what_?"

"Had a talk with him, I did. Just like with all your other blokes."

"You _what_?" Rose shrieks. "When!?"

"That day when you were acting so weird, remember? Your nan rang and-"

"But that was _months_ ago!"

"Yeah. Didn't he tell you?"

"No! What did you say to him?"

"Well," Jackie drawls. "Just the usual, you know, about protection and maybe a few threats if he didn't behave."

"Oh, my god," Rose groans, hiding her face in her hands.

"Well?" her mum prompts.

"Well, what?"

Jackie throws her hands up in the air, exasperated. "What's it like having tea with the Queen? What d'you think?"

"Oh." Rose feels her cheeks heat up as she clears her throat. "Uhm, it's...good. I mean it's...it's like...He looks completely human, mum. There's no...weird stuff," she says, even though she only knows what he feels like, not how he looks.

"Oh," her mother says, looking very disappointed. "Really, though? Gotta be _something_ different about shagging an alien, I reckon. No extra bits, then? Or missing bits, maybe? Bev once showed me a video on the internet of a singing willy. Singing! Blimey, I laughed. Nothing like that?"

"Mum! I'm not talking to you about this, all right? Just...just shut up," she says, walking to the kitchen with her mum in tow.

"What? We've always talked about your blokes before."

"The Doctor wouldn't like it. And he's not my bloke. We're not..." Sighing, Rose shakes her head and gestures vaguely with her hands. "It's just a...it's just shagging, all right? We're not like that."

"Mhm," her mum knowingly says, "and I'm the Pope's uncle. Seen the way you look at each other, I have. There's no need lying to me, Rose."

"No, mum, I'm telling you. We're not," she insists, sounding a bit more bitter than she intended.

Knitting her brow, Jackie wraps her arm around her daughter. "Is he treating you right, sweetheart?" she asks, because of course she heard Rose's tone. "You'd tell me if he didn't, right?"

"Yeah."

"Have you told him how you feel? Sometimes blokes are rather daft, you know, and he's no different. As thick as they come, that one."

"Mum, leave it. Everything is fine between us, okay?" she says, sitting down at the table.

"All right," her mum says, holding up her hands in resignation.

"So, how d'you meet Frank, then?"

Her mum's face splits into a mischievous grin. "Saw this on telly, figured I'd give it a shot, yeah. Was at the laundrette-"

"Why? The Doctor did his jiggery pokery on your washing machine, didn't he?"

"Oh, hush. Let me finish my story. I pretend mine's broken and bring some of my delicates to a laundrette and when I see a handsome enough bloke, I flash him my knickers!" she chirps.

"What?!"

"Not the ones I'm wearing, mind you, the ones I brought. Great ice breaker. Works like a charm every time, it does."

Rose can barely believe what she's hearing and has to press her lips together not to laugh. "So, is this something you do often, then?"

Jackie shrugs. "Well, you know. Not looking for anything permanent, am I? S'just...I feel lonely sometimes." She pats her daughter's hand. "Glad you're staying for a couple of days, sweetheart." Her eyes linger at Rose's neck. "Maybe you should avoid Mickey, though. Would be like rubbing his face in it, wouldn't it? Does he make you look like that every time? Blimey! No wonder you didn't even bother covering it up. Must be so used to it by now you don't even see it yourself. What does himself look like, then? All covered in love bites as well? Like a couple of teenagers, you are."

Groaning, Rose plants her head firmly on the kitchen table, face down. This is gonna be a long couple of days.

* * *

When two days pass without the Doctor showing up, Rose tries not to worry. He didn't really specify how long he would be, after all. However, when she, on the evening of the third day, decides to call him she only gets the machine. She hangs up at first, but then thinks better of it and redials the number.

"Uhm, hello it's me... It's been three days and you're still not here. Uhm... Hope you listen to your messages," Rose says with an insecure chuckle. "Please come soon. Mum's driving me spare and it's really hard sleeping without hearing the TARDIS. I miss her. And, uhm, yeah... See ya."

On the fourth day, her mum starts giving her looks but Rose ignores it. He wouldn't leave her. He _needs_ her. Instead of wallowing, she decides to spend a whole day with her mum, who has the afternoon off. They shop, go to the cinema to watch a film none of Jackie's friends want to see and end the day at her mum's favourite pub, downing a few pints and checking out blokes. Her mum is having so much fun, so Rose feels rather good and doesn't worry as much about the Doctor. Well, at least not until it's time to go to bed and she feels all empty inside, lying in her old bed, in her old room, in her old life. He still hasn't called, so she picks up her mobile for another try.

"Hi, it's me again. Just going to bed. S'been four days now... Anyway," she says, drawing in a deep breath and exhaling it. "You were so right, you know, about beans on toast and telly." She chuckles. "I miss running for my life. And I...I feel all better now. Ready for action! Okay, so...please hurry up. Night."

* * *

It's day five and Rose sits in the kitchen, keeping her mum company as she makes her somewhat tasty Shepherd's pie. Rose is worrying her lip, thinking about the Doctor and why he hasn't showed up yet. Knowing him, it's not at all unlikely that something has happened and he could be injured, locked up somewhere or sick or... Oh, god, what if he's regenerated!? She pulls up her mobile and dials the TARDIS again.

"Doctor, if you're there please pick up. I'm getting really worried, all right? Please call me back as soon as you get this. I, uhm... Just call me. It's, uhm, it's Rose, by the way. But...suppose you know that, with your superior Time Lord ears and everything. Even though your current set is smaller and sort of wonky." She laughs. "Uhm...yeah, anyway... See ya!"

As soon as she hangs up, her thumb goes into her mouth so she can chew on her nail. It's a nervous habit she can't seem to break.

"Save some room for dinner, Rose," her mum says, giving her a pointed look. Tapping her foot on the floor, Rose removes her thumb and sits on her hands instead. "I'm sure he's fine, sweetheart," her mum continues. "You know he can't drive that box of his. Two days, two weeks... S'all the same to that daft alien. You sure he's a proper Time Lord? Sounds kinda pompous though, doesn't it? Wonder what they were like, that lot. Bunch of stuffy old nutters, I reckon."

Jackie prattles on as they eat, but Rose mostly picks at her food before going to bed early. She tosses and turns for hours before falling asleep and, when morning finally arrives, she's doesn't feel rested at all.

"Frank's sister owns The White Griffin and he wants to take us there on Saturday. Wouldn't that be nice, sweetheart? Got really good chips, they do," her mum tells her over breakfast.

"I'm not gonna be here on Saturday."

"If you say so," her mum says airily. She doesn't look convinced.

* * *

Half a day later, Rose sits in the sofa whilst Jackie's in her armchair knitting booties for a pregnant friend's unborn baby. The sounds of knitting needles hitting each other for every stitch is slowly driving Rose barmy and she keeps shooting her mum dirty looks even though she knows it's unfair of her.

"Pop in a DVD, Rose. Pretty Woman always makes you feel better. Or, ooh, Love Actually! Wouldn't kick Colin Firth out of bed," her mum says, unfazed by her daughter's mood.

Rose complies, but she chooses something at random and pays no attention to the screen. It's been six days now and all she can think about is him being injured. Remembering how relieved he was once she got better from the Mysticorian disease, she's certain he would never leave her behind. She means too much to him. Her mum seems to think otherwise and keeps giving her not very subtle hints that the Doctor has probably moved on and found someone else.

"Frank's sister's looking for waitresses."

"He's coming back, mum. He doesn't want to be on his own. Better with two."

"A man like that doesn't have to be alone if he doesn't want to be," her mum points out and then sighs, as she drops a stitch. "Hand me that crochet hook, Rose."

"He wouldn't just ask _anyone_," Rose says, glaring at her mum as she complies. "He needs _me_," she adds, trying to convince herself as much as she's trying to convince her mum.

"Does he? Why?" her mum asks, eyes on her work as she fixes her mistake. "What's so special about you? You're just a shopgirl, for heaven's sake! Don't get me wrong. It's a good solid job, but he has all of time and space to choose from, sweetheart. Maybe he found someone who actually understands all that nonsense he's always blabbering on about. Probably someone who's not even human. He never liked us anyway, did he? Calls us stupid apes and-"

"He doesn't do that anymore," Rose interrupts her. "He loves humans."

"I see. And does he love you?" she asks, but Rose doesn't answer. "I mean, I thought he did, but... It's been six days and no word," her mum continues. "He's got a bleeding time machine! And don't think I don't hear you calling him all the time. Six days, Rose. You said it yourself: you're just shagging. Maybe he's through having his fun with you. Wouldn't be the first time you've been fooled by a pretty bloke with a nice ride, would it?"

There's no malice in her mum's voice, only concern, but it infuriates Rose nonetheless.

"He's _nothing_ like Jimmy," she bites out, pulling her knees up to her chest. "The Doctor's... He's so much better than that. Than anyone!"

"If you ask me, you should start thinking about what you're gonna do now that you have to live like the rest of us apes."

"Well, I didn't ask you! He wouldn't just leave me behind without saying goodbye."

Nodding slowly, her mum puts down her work in her lap and raises her eyes to meet Rose's. "And what about Jack. Did you say goodbye to him before you left him?"

"Uhm..."

"Rose, I'm only saying this because I love you. It's time for you to come back down to Earth."

Tears prickle behind Rose's eyelids and it feels harder and harder to breathe steadily. He wouldn't just leave her. He doesn't have anyone else. No family, no friends. It's just her! Without saying goodnight to her mum, she goes straight to bed, hearing her mum mutter under her breath, "Knew I should've told him I know how to hide a body instead of just threatening him with a slap."

Under the safety of her fuschia pink covers, Rose takes her mobile and dials the TARDIS for the umpteenth time, feeling like a pathetic teenager who refuses to get the hint.

"Doctor? S'me," she whispers. "Uhm...if you're not here by Monday, I'm gonna find Harriet Jones or UNIT or something and see if they can help me. Reckon there's gotta be some way of contacting you other than a phone you apparently won't use," she says, laughing breathily. "So, just-just come get me, okay? I, uhm, I... Doctor, I _miss_ you. I...uhm...bye."

Shame washes through her as she replays the message in her mind and she slaps her forehead, grunting at her slip. Why did she tell him she misses him? She knows her voice sounded much more tender than she had intended. Ugh. Stupid, stupid Rose.

That night she dreams about being dressed in nothing but a short tee, desperately tugging at the hem to try and cover up whilst walking through alien bazaars with the Doctor. When she wakes up the next day, she still feels mortified and tells herself to stop calling him. She's left him over ten messages by now and it's only been a week. He must think she's completely mental! He's probably chuckling over his silly human friend and her insecure rambles on his answering machine.

Still groggy from sleep, she pads into the living room where her mum already sits, watching morning telly. The smell of milky tea, sweetened to perfection, lingers in the air and she sees a cup waiting for her on the coffee table.

"Lovely," she murmurs, curling up next to her mum and grabbing the cup.

"Have you given any thought to what we talked about yesterday, then?"

"Yeah, I have, actually. Reckon Harriet Jones must still have some contacts. Dunno if she'll be glad to see me, though, but it's worth a shot."

Sighing heavily, her mum shakes her head at her. "Rose-"

Her mum stops talking as the most beautiful sound in the universe fills up the flat and Rose can't help but squee with happiness.

* * *

The TARDIS is in serious need of tending to, so the Doctor spends his days on repairs and improvements whilst practising his control over his body. He's angry with himself for assuming his libido was something that would rectify itself given time, instead of doing something like this right away. Queen Lah was right about his mental walls and that's not the only thing he has overlooked since he lost his people. All the sex he's been having has made him neglect his tinkering, reading and other interests that continue to expand his mind and knowledge. He needs to get his priorities straight! As the last of his kind, he has his responsibilities; however, he's nothing but a poor excuse for a Time Lord and has let himself regress into some lowly lifeform driven by lust.

He keeps making mistakes as he tinkers-dropping his tools, burning his fingers, cutting the wrong wires and so on-all because he can't stop thinking about Rose. He wonders what she's doing and if she's feeling all right; he misses the sound of her laughter and the way her hand fits so well in his; she always knows the right thing to say when he's feeling out of sorts and his body longs to connect with hers. Well, if he can call it connecting when he tries so very hard to keep his distance even as he's inside her. He's never kissed her or seen her face during sex. That's the side effect of not letting her see _him_, but it hasn't dawned on him until now how stupid that is. They have had intercourse front to front now but, even though he made the TARDIS turn down the lights, he was still too much of a coward to look at her. He wants to know if she's smiling when they're intimate and see what, if any, emotions are being reflected in her eyes... No! This is exactly why he's lying under the grating working on his ship trying to control the thoughts and impulses in his head. No more shagging Rose. No more shagging Rose. _No more shagging Rose!_

* * *

He feels more like a proper Time Lord as each day passes. Admittedly, he misses Rose all the time, but after a week he is confident in his ability to control himself and feels he can safely pick her up. There's no need to park outside since they'll be off immediately, so he punches in the coordinates to Jackie's flat. Besides, it will only be a couple of days for Rose and she might still be feeling weak after fighting off the virus.

As he walks down the ramp to open the TARDIS doors he notices a strange sensation filling his stomach. He's not sure how he would describe it, but it's sort of...effervescent. Also, his heart rate has sped up, his cheeks are warm and his limbs feel a bit tingly. That's curious. Shaking his body, he clears his throat and focuses inwardly to restore his inner Time Lord calm. It's probably nothing more than nervousness over his dangerous libido.

"Hello!" he says with a wide grin as soon as he's out of his time ship and sees the two blonds. "Did you miss me?"

Rose practically leaps up from the sofa and hurls herself at him. He sighs contentedly as he returns her hug, but she's dressed in pyjama shorts and a vest top so he makes sure the embrace doesn't last very long, no matter how good it feels. It's best to limit their physical contact to a bare minimum even with Jackie Tyler in the room.

"I'll take that as a yes, hm?" he teases with a wink.

Rose frowns at him. "Where have you been!? I've been worried sick about you!"

"Sorry?" he says, confused.

"Why haven't you picked up the phone? I've been calling you like crazy! Are you hurt? Did someone lock you up? Were you sick?" She keeps throwing questions at him as she scans his body with her eyes and pats his torso and arms to make sure he's unharmed.

"Eeer," he says, scratching his neck. "I just picked up the thing on that planet and took a few days in the TARDIS for repairs."

"A few days?" she growls. "Don't you ever do that to me again!" She starts whacking his arm and chest. Not hard, granted, but still. Rose never hits him! Not even when he deserves it, which he doesn't right now since he showed up right on time. "You've been gone for a week, Doctor! _A week_! I thought..." She smacks him again.

"Ow! Stop hitting me, woman!" he says, pushing her away from him. "Wait. What do you mean a week?" He rushes back into the TARDIS and checks the console. _Oooooh_. "Oops."

Rose, who has run after him, pokes him hard in the chest. "Oops?"

"Weeell," he says, looking sheepish. "I might have made a very small mistake."

"Oh, my god," she says, exasperated, sitting down on the jump seat with her arms folded over her chest. "Mum was right. You're just a rubbish pilot."

"Sorry," he says, flashing her the most innocent smile in his arsenal.

The truth is that, even though time's measured differently all over the universe, he runs on London time. It's just easier since that's what Rose does, so instead of also entering the correct date and time, he only changed the destination to Jackie's flat. Easy mistake to make when one's mind is elsewhere, he reckons. Could've happened to anyone!

She stand up and walks over to him. "Yeah, all right," she says, wrapping her arms around him and snuggling into his chest. "I forgive you. But if you do it again, I'm letting my mum have a go at you."

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" he says, deeply breathing her in.

"She knows how to hide a body, you know."

"Oh, I bet she does," he says, chuckling.

"Didn't you get my messages?" she quietly asks.

"Messages?"

She pulls back and her movement makes her hands drift slightly lower, a bit too close to his bum for him to feel comfortable. "Yeah. I called you every day," she says.

"Oh!" he says, quickly entangling himself from her tempting embrace. "Hm, where is..." His eyes scan the console until he sees a small blinking light over an even smaller blue button and, in his mind, feels the TARDIS confirming his suspicion. "Ah. So that's what that's for. Was wondering about that." He reaches out to push the button, but Rose stops him.

"S'just me telling you to come get me. Nothing important." Licking her lips and tugging a little at her top, she starts backing towards the doors and he can't help but wonder why she seems nervous. "Uhm, just gonna say bye to mum, then we can leave, yeah?"

"Yep!"

His finger hovers over the button as soon as Rose is out of the TARDIS. Did she say something she regrets? Did she... No. It doesn't matter anymore. Leaning against the console, he shoves his hands into his pockets and waits for Rose.

* * *

Rose always goes on and on about how the Doctor isn't like any other bloke and, after seeing how affectionate he can be with Rose, Jackie started to believe her. However, after this week she's not so sure what she believes anymore. The one thing she does know is that she won't let her daughter leave without voicing her concerns. The problem is that Jackie knows she'll only drive Rose straight into the arms of that alien if she pushes too far. She has to choose her words carefully and omit some of the things she's dreading. If she can plant a few seeds, maybe Rose will see reason once she's had some time to digest.

Jackie never really met anyone after Pete. Admittedly, he had his flaws but the only reason he could make her so angry was because she loved him completely. No other bloke has ever come close to making her recapture those feelings of unconditional love. Since then, she's had one night stands, short term relationships and a few good mates who wouldn't mind a casual shag on occasion. However, there has never been deep love involved in these arrangements of hers. Seeing her daughter covered in love bites from that alien and then hearing that it's nothing but shagging really made her wary of their relationship. She's scared that Rose is nothing but a distraction for the Doctor. Someone who'll keep his bed warm at night, someone who can comfort him when he misses his people and someone he can celebrate being alive with after surviving yet another adventure. If that's all Rose is to him, then she's replaceable. Just as she was to Jimmy.

Jackie knows Rose was the one who left Jimmy and not the other way around, but that didn't stop her from being heartbroken. It became even worse when he had a new blond on his arm only days after their breakup. It was as though she lost the spark that makes her _Rose_ and, for a while there, Jackie and Mickey did little else than help her find her way back to herself. They'll do it again if needed, of course, but she'd rather prevent that from ever happening.

"You sure you wanna leave, Rose?"

"Yeah, 'course."

"S'not a bad life, this. You could find a nice, proper bloke-"

"I don't want that, mum," her daughter interrupts. "Besides, I thought you liked the Doctor now!"

"Well," she says. "This one's nicer, I give you that. But, sweetheart, do you even know what he did this week? He could've been gone for a hundred years, for all you know!"

"You don't know him like I do. He wouldn't be able to be alone that long."

"Maybe not," Jackie says, not wanting to repeat what she said the other day. They've already travelled with Adam and Jack, and Mickey's told her about the Doctor inviting him along. Rose must know how easy it would be for the Doctor to find someone else. "But can he make you happy, Rose?" she says instead.

"This is what I want, mum," her daughter tells her, looking more like a petulant child than a woman who knows what's good for her.

"Is it, though? Is it really? I don't think it is. I think you want more. S'not just shagging for you. I know it's not," she says softly. She can see that her words have at least some effect when she asks, "What if he _does_ fall in love, but with someone else? What are you gonna do then?"

"He won't."

Jackie takes her hand, looking concerned. "Rose, I thought you were in a proper relationship when I spoke with him. Told him I didn't like it, but that I accepted it. And I did, 'cause I know you love him and I want you to be happy. But this? This is gonna end badly and I wouldn't be a good mother if I didn't warn you, all right? Something like this only works when there are no feelings involved. Look at you and Mickey. You were never really in love with him, were you? And now he feels like you just strung him along for years when he could've found someone who loves him."

Rose averts her eyes, blushing.

"Yeah, s'what I thought. Took me some time to see it, but... Anyway. You do what you want, but please be careful, sweetheart. Remember what it was like last time-"

"This is not like it was with Jimmy," Rose hisses.

"I know," Jackie replies, "and that's what worries me. Last time me and Mickey managed to pick up the pieces, but I'm scared it won't be as easy this time."

Stalking up to the time ship, Rose snarls, "Well, there won't be a 'this time'."

"I just want what's best for you, sweetheart."

Holding the door open, Rose lingers and looks straight into Jackie's eyes. "The Doctor and me make the universe a better place to live in every day. _Every day_, mum. Can you say the same?"

Rose walks through the open door without waiting for a reply and the blue box disappears within seconds, leaving Jackie feeling like she really mucked everything up.

* * *

Rose stomps to the jump seat, pulls her legs up to her chest and hugs her knees, staring into the pulsating time rotor as the TARDIS settles in the vortex. Frustration is coursing through her and she wants to grab the Doctor, push him against the console and have her way with him. He's been gone for a whole bloody week, leaving her worried and alone with a mother who did nothing to calm her concerns. Biting her lip, she tries to imagine what would happen if she would just look him straight in the eye and tell him to fuck her. Would he run away or perhaps pretend he didn't hear her? Maybe he would turn to the console to pilot them into danger, because he wouldn't actually do it, would he? An exhilarating and scary feeling tumbles around in her stomach as she draws in a deep breath to blurt it out-

"Did you have a fight with Jackie?"

Releasing the breath with a loud voosh, she decides to stay a coward. "Yeah."

"Are you all right?"

"Mhm. Yeah." She shrugs, looking at her chipped nail polish. "She, uhm, she wanted me to stay."

He raises his eyebrows. "How long...?"

"Oh, you know. Forever," she says, noticing how his jaw drops. "She wants me to stay and work as a waitress and meet a bloke and... Dunno. Do that whole thing."

"Well," he says, scratching his chin, "she's a mother and mothers usually want what's best for their children."

She glares at him. "Beg your pardon?!"

"I didn't mean it like that," he says, sighing. "This life is dangerous. Of course she doesn't think this is good for you."

"Well, I don't care what she thinks. This is the life I want."

"Are you, ehm, are you sure?" he asks, not quite meeting her eye.

"Yeah. Told you I'm not going anywhere, didn't I?"

"Rose, that was a long time ago."

She scoffs at him. "Really? Not even a year, and that's long to you, Mr. Nine hundred years of time and space?"

His face splits into a lopsided grin. "Maybe not." Ducking his head, he buries his hands in his pockets and adds in a soft voice: "A lot has changed since then, Rose. _I've_ changed. New new Doctor."

"Yeah, well, I'm still not going anywhere," she says, pursing her lips as she unsuccessfully tries to catch his gaze to give him a pointed look. "And that's a promise. Good?"

Looking at his feet, he nods slowly but she can see the smile still playing on his lips, so she hops off the jump seat and walks up to him.

"Good," she states, playing a little with the hem of her top as she tries to decide if she should make a move or not.

She wants him. This whole week spent apart was pure torture and her body aches for him but, even though she sometimes is very angry with herself for not confronting him, she knows she can't push him. Her mum is right; Rose does want more, but she's absolutely sure her boldness would only result in him backing away from her. That's exactly what happened when she took the initiative following the events on Mysticorious. However, she can't help but wonder if she's wrong in thinking that he will open up to her if given enough time. Perhaps this is all he can ever give her, but can she be happy with that for the rest of her life? Can she keep bottling up her feelings like this for his sake?

"Rose?"

"Wha'?" she says, realising she's been standing in front of him, chewing on her lip and fidgeting with her clothes for several minutes. "Oh. Uhm. Sorry. Got lost there, for a second."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, uhm, was just thinking of...Olennh and the others," she says, not realising the effect her lie would have on him until she sees his eyes go dark.

"Ah. Well, we'll be back there soon enough," he says, smile stale and voice bright but cold.

"There's no rush, though, is there?" she says, inching a little closer to make him understand she's not into the faerian at all. "I mean, this is a time machine, innit? We could travel for a while before returning, right?"

"If you like," he says, eyes softer now.

"Yeah. God, it's been too long since it was just you and me and the open road," she says, grinning with her tongue caught between her teeth. "Missed that."

"Me too," he says, face covered in dimples and eye crinkles as it breaks out in a wide smile.

"Just gonna go get dressed, then. Uhm, glad to be back."

Smiling at him, she decides to give him a hug but before she's made a move, he has returned his attention to the console in a very familiar gesture. Ah. Rejected. Oh, well. He'll come around.


	14. Rivalry I

**Warning: explicit sex**

* * *

Sitting in the kitchen of one Sarah Jane Smith-former _assistant_ and maybe lover, definitely best friend of the Doctor-Rose is left alone to ponder the last two weeks. Not that she is literally alone, but she certainly feels that way despite being surrounded by everyone. The others are discussing the political climate after the Harriet Jones debacle, even Mickey is participating in the conversation, whilst the subject flies right over Rose's head. Ever since Sarah Jane showed up, the Doctor has more or less ignored Rose, but she can't say she's surprised. The last two weeks since they left the Powell Estate have been...different.

The first week it felt as though time had been turned back to those ten days between the first and second time they shagged. When they were outside everything was as usual: they held hands; hugged post danger and when they were reunited after being separated; and they flirted incessantly. However, as soon as they reached the TARDIS, he busied himself with repairs and tinkering. When unwinding in the library, he never stayed for long and they still haven't slept in the same bed even once. The last time was the night after she was cured from the virus.

Oh, and there's been no sex whatsoever.

The first few days she assumed he was holding back because he didn't want to risk her fainting again. However, as time progressed, she started to suspect that whatever they had was over. She realised during the second week of their dry spell that he stopped initiating any form of physical contact. She was always the one reaching out for his hand or throwing her arms around his neck. He never rejected her or made her feel unwanted but, when it dawned on her how one-sided it was, that's exactly how she felt and those feelings made her stop seeking contact with him as well. It's been days since they last hugged or held hands and he hasn't done anything about it.

She can't help but wonder if it's her doing. Did she push him too far when she undressed and showed him just how much she wants him or maybe he _did_ listen to her messages and thought her to be too clingy and decided it best to end things between them? It's so strange, though, because she catches him checking her out and he still looks completely enamoured with her when they banter or when she does something clever or, to be completely honest, when she does something mundane like serving him dinner in the school where they are currently working undercover.

They keep having so much fun and, if she just forgets what they used to have, she's actually happy, but as soon as they are back in the TARDIS again she's reminded of what she's lost. At night, when she's trying to go to sleep, she lies awake and thinks up theories. The one she currently favours is that a Gallifreyan male is in heat six months every two years and before that she reckoned it was temporary insanity brought on by a faulty regeneration. Oh, she knows it's neither of those things, or any other whacky theory she can come up with, and that he just doesn't want her anymore.

So, when she, Mickey and the Doctor split up to search the school and she stumbled upon the Doctor holding hands with another woman, Rose nearly lost it. Rose isn't a slap happy person despite being the daughter of Jackie Tyler; however, when Sarah Jane started snarking at her, Rose's palm tingled with a strong need to connect with her rival's face. She knew the Doctor really was the person she should be mad at, and deep down she really is, but it was so much easier to retaliate when Sarah Jane kept throwing digs at her.

Rose runs her finger over the rim of her tea cup, watching the Doctor as he explains his theory about something she doesn't understand to an eagerly nodding Sarah Jane. Or _Sarah_, as he calls her. Rose gets a bitter taste in her mouth even thinking the name and her lips curl as she notices how the Doctor's eyes twinkle when _Sarah_ says something clever. She's fifty, at least, but still brilliant, beautiful and poised. She was probably the most perfect assistant as well; someone who never wandered off and always understood all that technobabble. Besides said technobabble, he rarely uses words Rose doesn't understand but, speaking with _Sarah_ now, every other word out of his mouth is big and pompous. It must be just lovely for him to be able to talk to someone with a proper education, she thinks, ripping her paper napkin into tiny pieces.

Did he shag _Sarah_ as well? He sure looks like he wouldn't mind doing so now. He's barely even aware there are other people in the room! Rose hasn't been able to get the thought out of her head that this is something he does: pick up young women, show them the universe, plan for the right time to seduce them, whilst waiting until they are so in love with him that they'd let him do anything. This thought fueled her to run after him and confront him when they were at the chip shop, and he seemed to be irritated with her when she did. He barely looked her in the eye and kept his tone so curt it shocked her into speaking without thinking and letting it slip how she thought they were, well... She never did finish that sentence, but she reckons it's pretty obvious she meant something special. That _she_ is special to him as opposed to being the latest in a long line of women he's swept off their feet. Well, she doesn't actually know if he's been intimate with Sarah Jane, or any of the other countless companions he must have had over the years but, considering his sexual appetite, she doesn't find it very likely that she's the only one he's ever crossed that line with. God, she's such an idiot! Is her mum right? Is the Doctor just another Jimmy Stone? A self absorbed man with a flashy ride and a need for a young starry-eyed woman that unabashedly admires him.

No. No, she knows him better than that. These are just her insecurities talking. She is special to him. She knows she is. The way he behaved, when they were together after she was well again, that wasn't acting. Not even _he_ is that good. Then there's what he almost said when they were talking earlier. He had to have meant love, right? He was trembling, his eyes were teary and he looked absolutely terrified when he noticed how close he was to confirming something she had been hoping he felt for her. Does he actually love her? Properly _love_ her or is she reading too much into everything because she's so hopelessly in love with him? Well, he was speaking generally and he never actually said the word. It could be _care for_or _really appreciate_ or _share time and space with_... No. He wouldn't be scared of saying those words.

God, she can't take it anymore! She can't just sit here and not exist whilst her head is overrun with theories, hopes and fears.

"I'm going to bed," she states.

She gets up and leaves without bothering to see if anyone acknowledges her words.

* * *

The house would be quiet to human ears, but the Doctor can hear Rose's soft sounds of slumber coming from the guest room; the rustling of sheets as Sarah turns in her bed, and Mickey's loud snores as he sleeps on a futon in the study. It's been a couple of hours since they called it a night and he's tried his best not to think about today's events. He works so hard to avoid meeting people from his past and he keeps moving forward in Earth's timeline as his companions come and go. Running into someone again was inevitable, though, and a part of him is glad to see his Sarah again-glad that it was her of all people-but another part... It's a rude awakening. In the heat of the moment it can be easy to forget how frail and short human life is but he needs to remember that.

The sound of Rose crying out in her sleep brings him out of his musings and he's up the stairs in a matter of seconds. He sneaks into the guestroom but leaves the door ajar so there's a little light coming in from a lamp in the hallway and, admittedly, to give him a reason to behave. Rose is lying on her stomach with the covers pulled up to her waist. Her face is turned to him and he can see that her brow is furrowed and her left fist is clenching as she stirs in her sleep. He's just about to walk up to her and help her calm down when her eyes fly open. She stares at him as her mouth forms an 'o' in what appears to be the beginning of a silent scream. Oh right, he forgot she used to suffer from sleep paralysis and he can imagine what he must look like to her. The light is too dim for her to see anything other than a dark looming figure staring at her and she's most likely starting to panic. He rushes over and covers her mouth quickly with his hand to prevent her from waking up the whole neighbourhood.

"Ssh," he says into her ear, feeling her relax as he strokes her back with his other hand.

He's sitting on the edge of the bed and can feel the heat radiating from her body through the thin fabric of the bed linens. He knows Sarah lent Rose a tee to sleep in and he can see her jeans lying on the chair in the corner, so he can't help but wonder if she's knickerless. They can't see each other's faces at this angle, but he can hear the shallow breaths she takes through her nose and he knows she's awake. Her tee bunches up during every one of his upward strokes and instead of smoothing it out on the way back, he let's his hand lightly graze the ripples of the fabric until her back is mostly bare. His tongue darts out to moisten his lips as he begins to draw slow circles on her soft, warm skin with the tips of his fingers. He's testing the waters a little-it's been three weeks since they last had sex, after all-and she makes no effort to stop him. She smells like warm, sleepy Rose; it's one of his favourite scents in the universe and his mouth is so close to her skin, ready to taste her.

Just like the first time he found her half naked and willing, he's standing at a fork in the road and, even though the circumstances and the setting are different, too many things are alike for him not to notice. It's as though the universe is reminding him of the mess he's made-well, if he believed in that sort of thing-and that it's still not too late for him to keep his distance. This is his chance to leave and he _really_ should. He's in Sarah's house, for Rassilon's sake, and the door is ajar but his body wants, needs, and _aches_ for her. It's been so long; three agonising weeks without being near her, inside her or able to taste her.

He sees his hand gripping the edge of the covers to pull them down to expose her bare arse before he fully realises what he's doing. _Oh_, she's wearing knickers that are little more than strings. He begins to knead her supple flesh, feeling himself strain against the fabric of his trousers as he grows hard. She has steadily kept her eyes on the wedge of light coming in through the doorway, but now they drift shut and she spreads her legs, making it easier for him to find her folds. He dips one finger into her, pumping in and out slowly, before letting another join it inside her wet heat. He finds that special spot on her inner walls and focuses his thrusts just right as he finger fucks her until she's squirming and pushing into his hand. Slipping his fingers out of her, he moves them over her folds until he reaches her clit to rub her in tiny circles. Now and again, he dips two digits inside her to gather her juices- and she whimpers from the loss each time- before returning his attention to her bundle of nerves. It doesn't take long for her to come, but her gorgeous screams are muffled by his hand and he wishes they were some place else so he could truly enjoy all the lovely sounds she always makes.

Rose's eyes are still closed as he licks his hand clean, doing his best not to moan as her taste explodes on his tongue. Grabbing her hips, he tilts her bum up a little to get a better angle and slides his tie off to ball it up and put it in her mouth. He quickly kicks off his shoes and steps out of his trousers and pants and crawls up into the bed to straddle her legs. Bending over, he presses wet open-mouthed kisses over the curve of her bum until he reaches the crease at the top of her thigh. He sucks hard at the sensitive skin, creating a large red mark. He can't help but repeat his actions on her other cheek when he notices her getting gooseflesh. There's a lovely symmetry to it and he takes a moment to admire his work, lightly touching the hickeys with his fingertips and smirking when she rubs her thighs together and whimpers.

She's dripping wet from her orgasm, so he pulls the sodden scrap of fabric that is her knickers to the side and buries himself inside her as deeply as he can in one hard thrust. She moans and pushes her arse up to meet him when he moves, and he can't help but wonder why he decided to let this go. This time he allows himself to look at her, but he doesn't quite like that her mouth is full of his tie. It reminds him of how he shouldn't be doing this, so he turns his gaze to where they are joined and watches his cock plunge into her wetness repeatedly. He caresses her bum with one hand and snakes the other underneath her to circle and pinch her clit until she reaches her second orgasm. Her clamping muscles pull him with her, making him grip her hip hard when he comes. He knows she'll be bruised for days afterward and a small possessive smile forms on his lips.

He stays where he is for a minute, standing on his knees with her legs between his, so he can collect himself as his pulse begins to calm down. His trousers are lying at the end of the bed, so he reaches back and finds a couple of napkins in one of his pockets. Holding the napkin in place where they are joined, he pulls out and lets the cloth soak up his come. He wipes up the rest of their mess with the other napkin and he can't help but notice the similarities between now and their first time together. He doesn't like remembering how he acted that time, just leaving her to feel used, so he decides to do better this time. She was having a nightmare, after all. So, after using the sonic screwdriver to clean up the sheets and dry his tie, he dresses himself and curls up behind her. The bed is standing in the middle of the room and he will be able to leave without waking her up once she's fallen back asleep.

He doesn't put his arm around her or snuggle because that's for lovers and not best friends. Besides, he can't afford to get confused anymore. Instead, he pets her hair until she falls asleep. Afraid that he'll wake her up if he gets up right away, he stays for another short moment before getting up and walking to the door. He lingers for a moment, watching her steady breathing and admiring her round cheeks, which still are flushed from the orgasms he gave her, when he hears Sarah's bedroom door creak and sees her walking out into the hallway. He can still smell his and Rose's arousal mingled together in the air, but can a human pick up on it too? He has no idea how well developed their sense of smell is compared to his. He tries to swallow down his nervousness, but his mouth is too dry and he forgets how to breathe as Sarah Jane walks up to him. This is even worse than when Jackie Tyler was on to them. He feels his body grow hot with shame all the way from his toes to the tip of his ears and he focuses inwardly to lower his body temperature.

"Doctor?" she whispers. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes," he whispers back, grateful to have an excuse not to use his full voice. He would most likely not be able to speak without it cracking. "I heard Rose cry out in her sleep. Was just checking up on her."

"Oh?" Sarah Jane says, sticking her head inside the room. "She seems fine now."

"Yeah, I, ehm, I woke her up and stayed with her until she fell asleep again."

"I see," Sarah says, looking surprised. "Is Rose having difficulties coping with your way of life? She seems so...plucky."

"No. No, no. She's doing just fine. I only bring the best, you know," he whispers, winking at her. "I'll just..." Nodding at the door, he shuts it and puts an arm around Sarah Jane's shoulders to usher her away from the room. "And why are you up?"

"Oh, I met an old friend yesterday," she says, smiling. "I never thought I would see him again, so now I'm a little too excited to sleep."

"Do you want me to..." he asks, raising his fingers to his temples to show her what he means.

She shakes her head. "No, Doctor. But I wouldn't mind another cup of tea and a chat."

"Well, then," he says, walking down the stairs with her to the kitchen.

During their chat, he thinks back on the day and how the two women treated one another. At first, he thought Rose was jealous and, when she confronted him outside the chip shop, he became confused and almost said something he didn't mean to-in English no less. However, upon realising that Sarah Jane, who has never had romantic feelings for him, acted the same way, he saw it for what it truly was: Rose was being territorial. That is something he can relate to rather well. Mind you, even if she had been jealous in _that_ way, it would be an even bigger reason to end this. The last of the Time Lords can never be what she needs or deserves romantically.

* * *

They have now defeated the Krillitanes and they're standing outside of the school, cheering with the students, when Sarah Jane suggests they should come home with her so she can treat them with a homecooked meal. The Doctor hesitates but, since Rose has now bonded with her former rival by gossiping about the eccentric Time Lord, she says yes before he's had enough time to formulate an excuse to decline Sarah Jane's invitation. Mickey and Sarah Jane take her car to her house whilst Rose and the Doctor, who want to shower and change, move the TARDIS to a park close by.

Earlier today, before finding some common ground with Sarah Jane, Rose was too busy being angry with her to actually process what took place last night. However, now that she is alone with the Doctor for the first time since he fucked her in the guest room, she's finding it exceedingly more difficult to pretend nothing happened and rushes off to her ensuite so she can contemplate things in private. She doesn't know what to make of his actions. He's been avoiding her all day, mostly turning to Sarah Jane when he needs something done, and for the first time since they met, he wasn't treating Rose as his number one. Never before has she quite understood how invisible one can feel in his presence and her mother's words are ringing in her ears. He has all of time and space to choose from, so what is he doing with her instead of finding someone intelligent and poised like Sarah Jane?

When they had their fantastic morning sex after she recovered from the zombie disease, she really thought they were taking a big step forward. Did her initiating intimacy scare him so much so that they experienced a temporary setback and this is his broken way of getting them back on track, or are they really over and the situation at Sarah Jane's house was so tempting that he couldn't stop himself from having her one last time? She begins to think about how impersonal their position was and it makes her feel somewhat uneasy, but, on the other hand, knowing they could be caught at any given moment and him dominating her like he was really turned her on. At the time, the situation made her so wet her thighs felt slick, and even thinking about it now makes heat coil inside her and she quickly finishes herself off in the shower before getting ready and heading out to Sarah Jane's house.

* * *

They have barely walked through the door when Sarah Jane sends the Doctor and Mickey to pick up some groceries, telling them they're not allowed to use the TARDIS since she doesn't fancy them being late on account of the Doctor's poor driving skills. Apparently, she wants Rose to help her in the kitchen and hands her a knife and some bell peppers.

"Have to warn you. I'm rubbish in the kitchen," says Rose, but she accepts the knife and starts chopping. "S'always the Doctor who cooks unless we order in. The old him loved cooking. Was always in that apron of his, was one of those 'don't kiss the chef' aprons, yeah? This one is a bit too...easily distracted to be as good at it as he used to be, but since he's tasted my mum's cooking he won't let me near a stove," she explains, laughing.

"The Doctor cooks you dinner?" Sarah Jane asks, eyebrows raised.

"Sometimes," she replies with a shrug. "Not as often anymore."

"Ah. Yes, a regeneration can be tough. Did your relationship change much after that?"

"Uhm..." Rose says, and then she starts laughing so hard she drops the knife. She clutches her stomach with one hand and fans her face with the other. "Yeah, yeah you could say that," she adds, once her giggling has died down.

"What am I missing?" Sarah Jane asks, smiling but also looking confused.

"Nothing," Rose says, trying not to fall back into laughter. "Uhm, yeah, he changed a lot. He was very... I mean, he's the same, I know he is, but he's so different. He used to be so direct and now I don't know..." she trails off, picking up the knife again.

"He looks very young this time around. Very handsome."

"The old him was handsome, too. Maybe not in a traditional sort of way, but I liked it." She pulls her mobile from her pocket and flips through her photos until she finds one of him and Jack grinning like fools over a couple of pints. "Look."

Sarah Jane takes the mobile and inspects the photo. "I take it he's the one with the ears and the nose?"

"Yeah..." she says, smiling wistfully. She takes back her mobile and, without thinking, strokes the display with her finger before shoving the device back in her pocket.

"You were in love with him," Sarah Jane states.

"No," she denies, but she didn't quite manage to sound convincing.

"Oh, Rose. It's perfectly normal. He's a remarkable man. I think many young women have fallen for the Doctor."

"Did you, then?" Rose challenges, as she feels very insecure over the turn the conversation has taken.

"No," she replies, and Rose is surprised to see her looking truthful. "We were just best friends."

"But... You seem so... Well, I figured you were old lovers, or something," mumbles Rose, focusing intently on her chopping.

Now Sarah Jane is the one bursting out in peals of laughter. "No, absolutely not. Besides, even if I had been in love with him, it wouldn't have mattered. Time Lords and humans might look alike, Rose, but we value things so differently and they view us as an inferior species. We're dispensable to them. Or, well, we were..." she trails off, looking very sad, but then she shakes it off and continues, "We weren't even allowed on Gallifrey."

"Really? He's never told me that."

"Really."

"So, he's really slumming it with us, then."

"No, he doesn't view it like that and neither should you. He was quite the rebel, you know."

"Yeah, I bet he was. Never met a rule he didn't wanna break, that one," she mutters. "And I don't think that! I'd rather be human than some-some bloody codger that doesn't even know how to love," she blurts out, wincing inwardly as she realises what she's just said but it couldn't be helped. She's been confused for so long, today in particular, and is close to bursting with frustration.

"Rose, are you still...?" Sarah Jane asks, trying to get a look at her face, but Rose keeps her head turned to her work. "You see, this was all a ruse to give me some time alone with you so we could have a chat about your nightmares but it seems I was-"

"My nightmares?" Rose interrupts, heart racing.

"Yes, I was up last night and saw the Doctor coming out of your room. He told me about your nightmares and, being someone who's been through it and knows he doesn't really talk about those sorts of things, I thought you might need someone who'd understand."

"Oh," she breathes out.

"Rose," Sarah Jane says, taking the knife from Rose's hand and putting it down on the cutting board. "Listen...the Doctor is, in many ways, a big kid. A powerful and genius kid, granted," she jokes, smiling, "but still a kid. Whilst he needs someone to share the wonders of the universe with, he doesn't get romantically involved with his assistants. It doesn't reflect upon your person, Rose. You are a lovely, brave and brilliant young woman. He's just...alien."

Rose doesn't know how to respond to this and her thumb finds its way into her mouth, so she can nervously bite her nail. It would feel good to finally tell someone about what goes on in the dark with the Doctor and get someone else's input, but she suspects it would be a very bad move on her part.

"I know how hard it can be, Rose. I was never in love with him and I still find myself comparing every man I meet to him. Knowing someone like the Doctor exists changes your view on everything. You're not doing anything wrong by feeling like this. He's not...he's not insensitive about it, is he? He can be such a daft and conceited man, sometimes. Does he know how you feel?"

Rose has never admitted to anyone how she feels about the Doctor even though she knows her mum and Mickey have been aware of it for ages but maybe it's time? "I, uhm... No? Or maybe? Dunno. Sometimes I think he wouldn't act the way he does if he knew. Other times, I think him knowing is the _only_ reason he acts like that. I just don't know! S'not like I can talk to him about it. He's made that perfectly clear. You know how he is, yeah? Just running away from anything that could make him uncomfortable," she rants, letting out a frustrated noise.

"What do you mean? How does he act?" asks Sarah Jane, but before Rose has a chance to answer innocently, Mickey and the Doctor return with the groceries.

They finish cooking and then spend an hour eating and chatting before the Doctor starts getting impatient, so they say goodbye and walk back to the TARDIS. He tells them they need to drop Mickey off so he can begin work on developing a vaccine. However, as he's about to enter the coordinates to Mickey's flat, Rose stops him.

"Doctor, shouldn't we... I mean, she hasn't seen you for so long and you left her in Aberdeen! Shouldn't we invite her to come with us? Just for one trip, at least."

The Doctor blinks a few times, eyebrows raised. "You'd want that?"

She shrugs. "Well, yeah. She's brilliant."

"Okay," he drawls, tugging a little on his ear. "I'll ask her over for a cuppa, then," he says picking up the phone.

Minutes later, Sarah Jane shows up and walks into the console room, looking around and taking in the changes from when she last travelled with the Doctor.

"Ehm, we're about to head off, but...you could come with us," the Doctor suggests with a smile after Rose prompts him, but Sarah Jane doesn't react as they originally expected.

"No," she says with a shake of her head. "I can't do this anymore. Besides, I've got a much bigger adventure ahead." She turns to the Doctor. "Time I stopped waiting for you and found a life of my own," she says, and Rose can't help but think that Sarah Jane has a really good point.

Maybe it is time to stop waiting for the Doctor and take charge of her own life instead, making sure there's a change to their relationship? Perhaps, all he needs is for her to be vocal about what she wants? Rose vows, then and there, that she'll have a proper chat with him once they drop Mickey off, but she has barely finished that thought before Mickey pipes up and asks if he can come. She's so appalled by his suggestion that she can't even hide her reaction. How the hell is she supposed to develop her relationship with the Doctor if her ex is hanging around? Thank god the Doctor can't stand Mickey. She mouths a 'no' to the Time Lord to make sure it won't happen but, to her surprise, Sarah Jane encourages the Doctor to say yes and he actually does. Why on Earth would he do that? Rose can understand why Sarah Jane would think bringing Mickey along is a good idea. The other woman must think Rose needs a confidant considering their conversation earlier in the day but the Doctor...? Her head is reeling as she tries to make sense of it and Sarah Jane pulls her aside, undoubtedly sensing her confusion.

"What do I do? Do I stay with him?" Rose asks.

"Yes. Some things are worth getting your heart broken for," Sarah Jane tells her and gives her a comforting hug. "Find me if you need to one day. Find me."

Rose leans against one of the coral struts, watching her new friend leave and hoping she never has to take her up on that offer.


	15. Rivalry II

**Warning: Explicit sex**

* * *

Rose gave up on her plan to talk to the Doctor about their relationship as soon as she heard him agree to allow Mickey to travel with them. She now believes it was very naive of her to entertain the notion that she could establish something more meaningful with the Doctor. He's clearly not interested in anything other than physical release since he's obviously very sexual this time around, but now it seems as though he's had enough of their arrangement. Rose believes the Doctor dislikes Mickey since he barely speaks to him without being snarky, so there must be a reason he's allowing him aboard now. She suspects it's the Doctor's way of telling her it's over between them and that she, as far as he's concerned, can go back to being with her ex. Well, she can take the hint but that doesn't mean she'll do it. Her affair with the Doctor might be over, but there's no way she's going back to Mickey. They're just mates now and that's all they were ever really meant to be if she's honest with herself. At home, she was too easily influenced by others telling her how great a bloke Mickey was and she didn't see their relationship for what it really was until she ran away with the Doctor in his TARDIS.

Rose has never given much thought about giving others a peck on the lips in greeting considering she was raised by Jackie. She reckons her mum must have kissed every single person on the Estate at one point or another. Kissing and hugging others is just what Prentice women do. Regardless, Rose is trying to be mindful of familiar habits now that Mickey is around and decides to only kiss him on the cheek instead of the lips. She knows Mickey won't get any ideas either way since they've always been affectionate, but she thinks the Doctor might not be as comfortable with it as he lets on. He has quite the jealous streak and, even if he doesn't have romantic feelings for her, he still wants to be the most important man in her life. There's no doubt in her mind about that.

It's been three days since Mickey came aboard and they've spent all that time drifting in the vortex. The TARDIS is probably the best place to be stuck in all of time and space, so it's no wonder Mickey hasn't found a reason to complain and, honestly, Rose is glad to have some company whilst the Doctor tinkers. As nice as lounging about in the time ship can be, it's not that great without the Doctor and, now that it's definitely over with Mickey, she's reminded of how much fun they have just hanging out together.

"Have to say, though, babe. Life on TARDIS is not what I thought it would be," Mickey says, wiggling his hips as they play a motion controlled snowboarding video game.

"Oh, we'll be out running for our lives as soon as the Doctor's done. You just wait, Mickey Smith," she says, chuckling and bending her knees as she prepares for a jump.

"That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean, then?"

"Well, whenever you came to visit your mum you two were thick as thieves, yeah? But he's never even around. Thought you'd be cuddling on the sofa every night with me as the fifth wheel, I did."

"We don't do that," she says, truthfully.

Those old habits stopped the day after they came back from New Earth and he chose to sit in an armchair instead of in the sofa with her. It seems as though their shagging made him less affectionate with her overall. Well, they continued to hug and hold hands during the day, but the only snuggling they managed to do was once every five days when they spooned together in bed at night. Although, they've stopped doing that since they left Mysticorious. Aside from the night at Sarah Jane's house, she can't remember the last time the Doctor touched her in any way that could be perceived as affectionate.

"Huh," Mickey says, twirling around to perform a trick. "Why's that, then?"

"Uhm. Wha'?"

"Well, figured you'd be attached at the hip by now. What changed?"

"Uhm, dunno. Temporary insanity 'cause we were stranded? Does it matter?"

"Suppose not. S'just... Thought you two were, you know..." he says, looking at her and grinning.

"Oh. Nah. You know, your shirt is disgusting. Hygiene was never your strong suit, yeah, but this is bad even for you," she says, quickly changing the subject.

"Yeah, I know. Didn't exactly bring a change of clothes with me, did I?. Been wearing this for, like, five days or something."

"Oh, my god, are you serious?" she says, grimacing. "Should I even ask about your pants and socks?"

"Well, I wash 'em in my bathroom sink with soap and dry 'em on the towel warmer."

"God, Mickey. You're such an idiot. Why didn't you say something?" she says, sighing. "C'mon, then. Let's get you to the laundry room."

"You've got one of those?"

"Oh, my god," she says, rolling her eyes.

"But you always bring your laundry home to your mum's! How should I know?"

"I only do that 'cause she likes being needed, all right? Of course we have a laundry room. I'd have to come visit, like, once a week if we didn't. D'you know how many times we come home to the TARDIS covered in muck or slime?" she says, pulling him with her. "This one time, the Doctor was even covered in feces. He threw that suit in the incinerator, though."

"No way! Really?" he asks, crinkling his nose as she nods and giggles.

The laundry room consists of a few fancy machines, a handful of clotheslines for Rose's delicates, a table for folding and an ironing board she never uses. She shows him how the machine, which is a washer as well as a dryer, works and explains it will only take an hour for it to be done.

"But...what should I wear whilst I wait, Rose?"

"Oh, right..." she says, looking around the room. Her pink satin dressing gown is hanging on the clothesline along with some lacy knickers and bras completely dry since she washed it several days ago. She pulls it off and tosses it to Mickey.

"You want me to wear _this_?"

"Yeah, I really do," she says, laughing. "Life long dream of mine. Seriously, though, I don't really have anything else that fits," she says, not feeling like going to the wardrobe room since it's several floors down and a handful of corridors away. Besides, she doesn't think the Doctor would be too pleased with Mickey Smith wearing anything he owns. He seems to be irritated by everything Mickey does aboard his TARDIS.

"But what if the Doctor sees me in it? I'll never live it down."

"Honestly, Mickey. D'you really think he'd even bat an eye? First of all, you should see this coat he used to wear," she says, chuckling. "And then there's the fact that he's seen all of time and space. He couldn't care less about a bloke in a lacy dressing gown. Just jump ahead a century and this is normal. D'you remember Jack? You should've seen the stuff he wore sometimes. Could walk better in heels than I can, even."

"Like that's hard," Mickey says, snorting. "Betcha even I can do that."

"Well, I'm a trainers sort of woman. Fits this kinda life, too," she says with a firm nod. "Anyway. I'll bring you breakfast in bed tomorrow if he's rude."

"Deal!"

"'Kay, I'll leave you to it, then. Just gonna grab a shower. That game really makes you work up a sweat, doesn't it? I'll be right back."

* * *

The Doctor muses, as he nurses a cuppa in the galley, that accepting Mickey aboard might be his best idea ever. Well, one of his best. At least in the top one thousand and that is saying something! He is an exceptionally brilliant genius, after all. Developing the vaccine he promised Queen Lah is complicated work and would mean spending a lot of time cooped up alone with Rose in the TARDIS. The events immediately following her illness on Mysticorious influenced his decision to postpone the development of the vaccine until he felt completely in control of his urges. However, before that happened, Mickey called for help investigating that school and temptation struck yet again. A few minutes at Rose's bedside was all it took for the Doctor's resolve to crumble. They can't carry on with their arrangement in the presence of Mickey; therefore, him being on board means the Doctor can finally get started on the vaccine.

The Doctor started to panic after giving in to his urges in the dark of night whilst being a guest in Sarah Jane's home. Remembering what he did, with the door ajar, makes him feel ashamed of himself and he's tempted to lock away the memory and never think about it again. Well, at least he didn't say anything stupid that time, which only proves his theory right about it being little more than confusion brought on by their lack of personal space. Therefore, when Mickey asked to travel with them, he thought it was a brilliant idea! This way he won't fall back into bad habits and Rose will have someone to hang out with when he works on the vaccine. Perfect!

It has worked like a charm! Granted, the constant public displays of affection are beginning to grate on his nerves. It isn't really necessary for them to kiss each other good morning and good night on the cheek every day, is it? Even worse, they snuggle together on the sofa every evening whilst watching some insipid film. It's just rude, that's what it is! Well, at least it gives him a reason to really focus on his work since he has no desire whatsoever to watch them rub each other's feet, horse around in the pool or talk about people he's never met and never will meet. They even do that thing where they stop telling an anecdote halfway through because they're laughing so hard. Bloody humans. Not that he's jealous. Mickey the Idiot is no match for a Time Lord.

"'Lo boss," he hears Mickey say behind him.

The Doctor turns around and nearly drops his teacup when he sees the other man wearing Rose's favourite dressing gown which covers his private parts and little else.

"Mickey," he manages out through gritted teeth.

"Is there any more tea?"

"Yes," he says, being deliberately curt because he's afraid he'll say something rash if he's not careful.

Mickey smells of Rose. A lot. This isn't new considering they've been spending all their time together since Mickey came aboard. However, this is the first time he's walked around in her clothing and smelling slightly sweaty.

"Oh, there you are!" Rose says, showing up in the doorway. "You were gone when I came back."

She has just showered; her cheeks are flushed and she smells like strawberry shampoo and flowery deodorant. She stopped using scented products shortly after they started their arrangement, which he greatly appreciated, but she's back to using her old brands again now that Mickey is on board. The Doctor assumed it was because he pulled back but now, seeing them like this, he can't help but wonder if she's trying to hide the scent of Mickey on her skin.

"Yeah, was peckish," Mickey replies, pouring some tea into one of the Doctor's favourite cups with one hand and grabbing an apple from a fruit bowl on the counter with the other.

"That. Is. Mine," the Doctor growls, grabbing the cup and pulling it away from Mickey.

"Whoa, easy mate. I'll just take another one," Mickey says, holding up his hands and taking one of Rose's cups from the cupboard.

"C'mon, Mickey," Rose says, linking her arm with his and rolling her eyes at the Doctor. "Let's leave this grumpy old man in peace and watch a film instead. I really need to sit down," she continues as they walk down the hallway but, thanks to his superior hearing, he can still make out what they're saying. "My thighs are trembling! That was quite the workout."

"Yeah, really was. A lot of fun, too! Should do it again."

"Yeah, but you need to work on your Backside Rodeo flip, though."

"Oi!" Mickey cries out. "I've never done that before!"

"Yeah, yeah. Told you he wouldn't care, didn't I? No breakfast in bed for you to-" he hears Rose say, and then they're out of earshot.

The Doctor's nostrils are flaring and he's gripping the counter top so hard his fingernails are digging into the wood. He has no idea what kind of weird sexual positions Mickey and Rose are into; all he knows is that they will never explore one together again. Especially not on his ship! He throws the teacup into the sink and stalks after them to the media room. However, he finds Rose sitting alone on the sofa when he walks into the room.

"Where's Mister Mickey, then?"

"He's taking a shower and getting dressed."

"Hm," he says, sitting down on the sofa beside her. He's careful to leave ample space between them. "What are you going to watch?"

"Was thinking of showing him the Terminator reboot from 2319. Think he's gonna love those."

"I'm sure he will," he says, flashing her a wide grin. "Mind some company?"

"Of course not! Would you mind...?" she says, nodding at the screen.

Everyone must use a small touchscreen attached to the coffee table, but the Doctor is able to direct the TARDIS telepathically to prepare the desired film, dim the lights, widen the screen and anything else he deems necessary.

"Nope," he says, smirking as the time ship obeys his command and the screen flickers as the title sequence starts playing. "Popcorn?"

"Yeah!" she says, looking surprised but happy. "I'll get it. And some more tea, too, yeah? Pause the film 'til Mickey comes back, though."

Rose scurries away and he makes himself comfortable on the sofa. Before she began travelling with him, there were several plush chairs in this room; however, the chairs were suddenly replaced by a three seat sofa the first time he watched a film with Rose. He sent his ship the telepathic equivalent of a quirked eyebrow when he stumbled upon the change, and his response was the equivalent of an _isn't-this-what-you-want?_ shrug. It wasn't until Adam came aboard that a couple of very comfortable leather fauteuils appeared. Of course, Adam never stayed long enough to make use of them, but Jack quickly chose one to be his favourite place to sit during film nights and it wasn't because he was a great fauteuil enthusiast. The Doctor may have directed a few steely looks his way to make sure he understood he was not welcome on the sofa with him and Rose. Mickey the Idiot has, on occasion, proven to be too thick to get those kinds of hints, but he's prepared to glare at him nonetheless.

"Here we are!" Rose says, ten minutes later, as she places the snacks and tea on the coffee table and curls up in her usual spot on the sofa. "This is for you. If I didn't know you were alien before, this would've at least made me a bit suspicious," she says, giggling and handing him a bowl of popcorn seasoned with cinnamon and sugar and topped off with grated cheese.

"Actually, it's a common treat on Earth," he points out, sniffing and tossing a cluster of sticky popcorn in the air to catch with his mouth.

"Really? With the cheese, too?" she says, crinkling her nose.

"Weeeell, that might just be me," he admits, licking his palm and fingers with broad swipes.

"You started without me?" asks Mickey, rudely sitting down between the Doctor and Rose before he's had a chance to shoot him a dirty look. "What's this, then?" Micky wonders, looking at the Doctor's snack and reaching out for a sample.

"Oi! Having trouble understanding mine and yours, are we, Mickey Smith?" the Doctor says, placing the bowl out of reach on the armrest.

"Blimey! Is he always like this?" Mickey asks, pulling a face and turning to the bowl on the coffee table instead.

"How's it going with the vaccine, Doctor?" Rose quickly asks.

"Oh, rather well. A bit time consuming, though. It's a tricky thing, this vaccine. When we visited Mysticorious, interspecies coupling was allowed; however, interspecies procreation was not. It will be, though, in a couple of decades. So, I have to make a universal vaccine. Would've made a universal cure as well if I hadn't been...on a tight schedule," he says, frowning and clearing his throat.

"I'm sorry," she says, giving him a soft, remorseful smile.

"No, it's...it's... Don't apologise for that, Rose. I should've..." he trails off, not knowing what to say.

"Where's the remote thing?" asks Mickey, completely oblivious of what's going on around him, mouth full of popcorn.

"No need," says the Doctor dryly, waving his hand in a gesture worthy of a professional illusionist and giving the TARDIS a command to unpause the film.

"Whoa, how d'you do that, then? Can you teach me?"

The Doctor snorts. "Ha! Mickey the Idiot giving the TARDIS commands? That'll be the day."

"I heard about someone coming home covered in shit. Doesn't sound too bright to me," Mickey retorts, smug grin on his lips.

The Doctor narrows his eyes at the other man. "Are you the type of person who chats the whole film through, or are you just extra annoying tonight?"

"You're the one who invited me, boss."

"No. You invited yourself, _Rickey_."

"No. I asked and-"

"If you two don't shut it, I'm gonna make sure the TARDIS locks you up in a cupboard. _Together_. You got that?" Rose interrupts.

"You can do that?" asks Mickey and the Doctor rolls his eyes at him.

"D'you wanna find out?" she challenges, eyes boring into Mickey, and he shakes his head.

"Good. Now keep it shut and watch the bloody film!"

They behave for the rest of the night, but it's with some difficulty for the Doctor. Halfway through the film, Rose shifts in her seat and leans against the armrest, placing her feet in Mickey's lap. Without looking away from the screen, he removes her socks, rolls them up and puts them on the table. He starts kneading her feet without a word and, to the Doctor, it looks like something they've probably done all of their lives. Just like all these small touches which have become second nature to them over the years; as they once were for _him_ and her.

He gets a very unpleasant feeling in the pit of his stomach and, instead of paying attention to the film, he keeps watching Mickey's long fingers touching Rose's feet through the corner of his eye. When the idiot rolls up her jeans, massaging her calves as well and making Rose emit a soft moan, the Doctor almost shoves the bowl in his face.

"Missed this, eh?" Mickey says smugly. "Always said this was almost better than sex, you did."

"If she said that, you're most likely rubbish in bed," the Doctor helpfully points out.

"...or the best in the universe at rubbing feet," Mickey says, running his fingers across Rose's soles and making her moan again.

She looks so content with her face relaxed, lips curled slightly up and eyes hooded as she watches the film. Is that the kind of face she makes when they...?

The Doctor desperately needs to get out of the room and get some air so he doesn't act on his petty impulses, but if they do something like that when he's in the room, what do they do when he's not? No, there's no way he's leaving them for the night, but he can offer to fetch them some more tea and maybe a couple of packets of biscuits. Yes. That's a good idea.

"Tea!" he exclaims, jumping up from the sofa. "And biscuits. Anything else? No? Yes? Banana? Apple? Pineapple? Plum? Pear? Ugh, no! Crisps? What do you say, hm?"

"Uhm... I'll have a blueberry scone, thanks," Rose says, eyeing him curiously.

"I'll have a bowl of whatever you were having earlier, mate," says Mickey and the Doctor can't help but make a face at him.

Thankfully, both humans have already returned their eyes to the screen and don't notice his grimace. He gives his ship a silent command to arrange everything on a tray and place the door to his favourite garden next to the galley. He makes a pitstop to do something as cliché as sitting underneath a tree and smelling the flowers for a few minutes before picking up the tray and returning to the media room, feeling much more relaxed than when he left. He manages to keep his territorial tendencies under control for the remainder of the film. Although, he was very close to wedging himself between Mickey and Rose when the former started leaning his head against her shoulder.

"Sequel?" the Doctor asks as the credits begin to roll. He decides to do what he can to keep at least one of them awake. He prefers it be Rose that stays awake, but either one of them will do so as long as it means they won't be going to bed together.

"Uhm, Mickey's asleep," Rose says, nodding at the idiot drooling on her shoulder.

"Charming."

"If you hate him so much, why did you invite him?" she asks, looking tired.

He shrugs. "Could do with a laugh."

"Yeah, you said."

"So, sequel?" he repeats, as the credits end and the lights are turned back on.

She stares at him for a couple of seconds. "Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Hate him."

"Don't be ridiculous," he says, scoffing.

"Would it hurt you to be nicer to him, then? You've barely said a kind word to him since, well, ever."

"Suppose not," he says, voice barely more than a whisper, and averts his eyes.

"Hey, look at me," she says softly, and he complies. "Thank you. Can't say I was very happy when you said yes, but...you were right. S'been fun having him around. Didn't realise I've been-"

"What did I miss?!" Mickey blurts out, sitting up and looking groggily around the room. "Blimey! Didn't even notice falling asleep."

"Do you usually?"

"Uhm... Guess not?" he replies, scratching his head.

"We're gonna watch the sequel. You in?" asks Rose.

"Nah." Yawning, he stretches out his arms and almost elbows the Doctor in the face. "I'm off to bed. Night." He leans over and kisses Rose with a loud 'mwah' before leaving the room.

"Well, then. Looks like it's just you and me. The old team! Sequel?" Rose asks, grinning at the Doctor with her tongue poking out between her teeth and he realises she hasn't smiled like that in weeks.

"Yeah," he says, scooting a little closer to her because his whole body has been itching to touch her ever since he saw her ex draped in her clothing.

The closer he gets, the stronger the other man's scent becomes. It's like she's been dipped in a jar of eau de Mickey and his nostrils flare and his top lip curls as the odor assaults his nose. Leaning down, he grabs her ankles and lifts her feet up into his lap. This is where the other man spread his scent on Rose and the Doctor feels a primal need to replace it with his own, so he begins to massage her soles with steady movements.

"Doctor?" she says, looking highly amused. "Are you trying to prove that you're better at giving foot rubs than Mickey?"

"I'll have you know that I was trained by the foremost massage therapist on Gallifrey! Mickey, better than I am? That's absurd."

She laughs at him. "God, you're such a... _Oooooh_, okay. Yeah, that's... Mmm.." she moans, tilting her head back. "If I tell you you're better than him, does that mean you'll stop?"

"No."

"Good. You're better. You're _amazing_."

"Yep!"

"Even better than the old you."

"Really?" he says, ridiculously pleased.

"Oh, yeah," she confirms, nodding and closing her eyes.

Mickey touched her calves as well, so the Doctor runs his fingers up her legs, inside her trousers, and kneads her muscles until she's like putty in his hands. A delighted smile is lighting up her face and her breaths are calm and even. He's replaced Mickey's scent with his own now, but it still lingers on her shoulder-the idiot even _drooled_ on her, for Rassilon's sake!-and he is overcome with the need to touch her bare skin. He lets his hands drift up to her fly, knowing she'll keep her eyes shut if he makes a more intimate move. Her breath hitches when he unbuttons her trousers and pulls down the zip, but she lifts her hips helpfully as he starts tugging the garment off her body.

He wants to-no, he _needs_ to-look at her this time and he wants to do it in the light, so he removes his tie and leans over her to use it as a blindfold. Her mouth falls open in surprise, but she lets him secure it around her head, covering her eyes. Taking her hands, he pulls her off the sofa and positions her in front of him, so he can unbutton her shirt and slide his hands under the fabric to brush it off her shoulders. He unclasps and removes her bra, carefully placing it next to her socks on the table, and slowly pulls off her knickers. There's so much lovely skin to taste and touch, but he decides to start with her shoulder so he cups it with his hand. He places a few soft open-mouthed kisses on her shoulder before nuzzling his nose against her skin, replacing the scent of the other man with his own. He continues to kiss his way across her chest to her other shoulder and repeats the action, wondering if there are any other places on her body that might smell like the other man.

He muses that Rose may be confused by his actions, but she continues to stand still, trusting him completely, as he moves his lips lazily over the warm skin of her back. Gooseflesh spreads across her body and he responds by cupping her breasts from behind, so he can palm the weight of them before he moves to tease her erect nipples with his fingers, pulling lightly on the hardened peaks. He treats her whole body to caresses and kisses: her pert bum, strong thighs and calves, and her feet; he tickles the side of her stomach with the tip of his tongue until she giggles; nuzzles her soft belly and the valley between her breasts; and sucks gently on her earlobes and fingertips. Soon most of her body smells like a mixture of_them_, just as it should.

After quickly divesting himself of clothing, he kneels behind her bum and proudly traces the faint outline of the hickeys he made that night at Sarah Jane's house. Gripping her hips firmly, he lowers his mouth against her and deepens the red of first the right and then the left mark. She gasps and a shiver runs through her and he feels that, yes, _this_ is what he should be doing. Standing up again, he sucks hard on several places on her shoulders before moving around her to make several love bites across her chest. He's careful not to choose any spots she can't cover up with regular clothing. He doesn't want the world to see; this is just to scare off a potential lover whose nose is too inferior to smell him on her.

Nipping gently at the underside of her breast, he cups the other and rolls her nipple between his fingers. He can't find any trace of Mickey's scent here, but there's one place left he hasn't checked so he drops down on his knees once more, facing her curls. Oh. _Oooooh_. This is a good sign. As soon as they started having sex regularly, Rose always kept her pubic hair neatly trimmed, but now she appears to have let her hair grow out a little. He knows women of her time usually remove some or all of their hair when they have a sexual partner, so does this mean she hasn't been intimate with Mickey, or are they just so comfortable with one another that she doesn't care? Wait. Maybe Mickey _prefers_ it this way? Rose doesn't know this, since they never talk about it, but the Doctor does, so why wouldn't the other man? The need to know consumes him and he suddenly shoves his nose into her sex, making her gasp and stumble slightly. He steadies her by holding her thighs firmly as he draws in a deep breath.

Grinning, he nuzzles her folds and lifts his hands up to squeeze her bum. Pure Rose. _His_ Rose. Sticking his tongue out, he runs it slowly up and down her slit until she whimpers and her thighs tremble. He gets up from the floor and lies down on the sofa, pulling her with him and helping her straddle him. He grabs her hips and pushes her closer, making her understand what he wants and, albeit tentatively, she moves up his torso until she's sitting on his face. He can tell she's not entirely comfortable, but he suspects it's because she's not used to the position and caresses her hips in an effort to calm her. He wants to watch her come undone as she rides his tongue, so he presses her even closer to his mouth and plunges into her. It doesn't take long for her to understand he wants her to rock her hips, so he can rub her clit with his thumb in time with her movements.

The view is breathtaking. She's already a bit flushed and sweaty, and her body is glowing from the soft light of the room. It's so much better than when he has to use his night vision in the dark. Biting her lip, she lets her hands drift slowly up and down her torso, lingering occasionally on her bouncing breasts while she pinches her nipples. She must understand the point of the blindfold because it's obvious she's putting on a show by the way she tosses her hair and moves her body. Her stomach muscles ripple as she rides him and he can tell by her sounds that she's getting closer, so he snakes down his free hand to lazily stroke himself as he takes her in. When he feels her clench around his tongue and her juices flood into his mouth, he only needs a couple of more strokes to spill his seed all over his stomach. Reaching out, he blindly searches the floor for something to clean himself up with. He grabs the first piece of clothing he can find and wipes his come off his stomach whilst still pleasuring her. He carefully avoids her clit, knowing she's too sensitive to enjoy direct stimulation so close after an orgasm, but whirls his tongue inside her until he's hard again.

He manages to change their positions by guiding her with his hands until she's lying back on the sofa with him standing on his knees. Lifting her bum up, he scoots his knees and thighs underneath her until her lower body is resting on his lap and her feet are placed on his shoulders. With a firm grip on her hips, he pushes himself into her until he's half buried. He can see her frowning which makes him certain she's never tried this position before and that makes him smirk. He's only done this once before and, even though it was centuries ago, he'll never forget his partner's reaction. They met at a masquerade ball, where she lured him into a private room and seduced him. After realising he wasn't very experienced, she proceeded to teach him a lot about sex. It's not as good for him because he can't penetrate Rose as deeply as he'd prefer, but this position will allow him to stimulate her inner spot. He starts moving both his hips and hers by pulling her back and forth with his hands and her reaction is immediate.

"Oh, my _god_," she groans, clutching the sofa cushions with her hands.

He can't help but wonder why he's never done this with her before. Not only the position, which is brilliant, but also blindfolding her so he can watch her every reaction. He's spent months of fucking her in the dark when he could've been doing _this_. He's so caught up in admiring her he almost doesn't notice the TARDIS nudging his mind for attention.

Oh. Mickey's on the move. What the hell for? The Doctor looks around the room until his eyes fall on the other man's mobile, lying on the table. Really?! The idiot is rolling out of bed to disturb them while they're fucking for his _mobile_? He groans as he realises Mickey even left the door open. Well, he can always make the TARDIS confuse poor Mickey by switching around the corridors, or... Well... Oh. Yes.

Instead, he decides to show the idiot how it's really done.

The thought that Rose wouldn't approve strikes him, but Mickey won't be able to see anything other than the backrest of the sofa and the Doctor's head and shoulders and maybe Rose's feet. Tightening his grip on her hips, the Doctor picks up the pace and pounds the head of his cock into her spot repeatedly. She's moaning rather loudly now, her chest is heaving, she's biting her lip and he turns his head to nip at her ankle. It doesn't take long before she comes with a hoarse shout, pressing her feet against his shoulders, but he only holds her tighter and thrusts harder and faster as the TARDIS alerts him that Mickey is near. Moments later, he sees Rose's mouth form an 'o' in surprise as her third orgasm washes over her and, as she lets out a loud long moan, he pictures himself burying his cock in her warm mouth. Not that he would do that, he doesn't deserve it but, oh, how he dreams about it.

She's panting, cheeks delightfully pink and face glistening with sweat. "Ooh-ooh-ooh," she breathes out as he keeps moving their bodies together.

He knows Mickey is right outside, which intrigues him since the other man must have heard them by now, and that spurs him on to thrust even more frantically. Her muscles have barely stopped clenching around him when Rose comes for the fourth time and it's so hard she gushes all over his lap. She starts giggling as the last shudder of her climax courses through her body. She looks delirious, fanning herself and licking her lips between laughs.

"Oh, my _god_," she says, so wrapped up in pleasure she's forgotten about their unspoken rules. He freezes at first but when he hears the rest of what she's saying a wide grin spreads across his face. "I _love_ having sex with you. No one's ever," she pants, "made me come by just, _mmm_, penetration before. Oh, _god_. That was ghrjg..." she gurgles, falling back into giggles.

His chest swells up as pride washes through him and he feels a strong urge to turn his head to see if the other man is still standing there in the dark, watching them from the hallway. Adjusting their position so it's easier for him to bury himself deeper, he continues to fuck Rose, who still looks like she's on a high, and he can't control himself any longer. In doing this, he knows Mickey will never ever touch Rose again and that's the only justification he needs. He turns his head, looking directly at the other man, who probably thought he was safe in the shadows. The Doctor doesn't smirk or narrow his eyes, only meets Mickey's startled gaze steadily before turning back to Rose and focusing on her.

The TARDIS alerts him that Mickey's already running back to his room so, with a predatory grin, the Doctor chases his own release with the knowledge that Rose loves fucking _him_.

* * *

Rose wakes up in the middle of the night, lying naked in her bed without any memory of how she got there. The last thing she remembers is the Doctor collapsing on top of her after his orgasm. She had her legs wrapped around his waist and he was resting his head against her shoulder when she must have fallen asleep. It's not the first time that has happened, so she doesn't feel weird about him carrying her to bed especially now that Mickey is onboard. She wouldn't be very happy if he found her sleeping naked in the media room with her body full of hickeys.

Oh, god!

She jumps out of bed and runs to the mirror, hoping he didn't make marks where she can't hide them, but, to her relief, she realises that a round-neck tee will cover everything up just fine. The last thing she needs is a repeat performance of what happened when she visited her mum.

Stretching her body leisurely, she notices her clothing neatly folded on a chair and the sight makes her heart flutter. There's something so endearing about him taking the time to do that before leaving her for the night. Oh, last night was... God, she's never come so hard in her life! Remembering that she not only voiced this, but also _gushed_ all over him, makes her hide her face in her hands even though she's all alone. She's never done that before. She honestly didn't know whether it was only a myth or not. None of her girlfriends have ever experienced it, as far as she knows, but the Doctor didn't seem to mind. Granted, she couldn't see him but he didn't act like it was anything shocking, which is good. Very good. They _have to_ do that again.

Because they will. She knows that now. She's not stupid and understands exactly what last night was about. The Doctor was making her his and she gladly accepts. She understands him and his struggles better after having talked with Sarah Jane. She had no idea that relations with humans were such a taboo and it explains so much about his behaviour. However, she can't go on like this anymore and can't take all these misunderstandings. She won't pressure him into doing things he's not ready for, such as kissing or allowing her to touch him, but he has to acknowledge what's going on between them regardless of the nature of their relationship. She's been giving it a lot of thought during these past few months and has come to the conclusion that she's okay with being best mates who fuck as long as they are honest about it. Admittedly, she hopes, even believes, he returns her feelings at this point. He doesn't seem to want her to be with anyone else, so she wants him to promise they are _both_ being exclusive. Not that she thinks he would chase after other women, he's not that kind of a man, but boundaries need to be established.

She wants to make sure Mickey won't be able to interrupt them, so she decides to get up two hours earlier than usual to finally confront the Doctor about what they're doing in the dark.


	16. Desperation

**Warning: NSFW**

* * *

Thinking it best to take a break from being cooped up in the TARDIS, the Doctor decides to use the randomiser to take the time travelling trio somewhere fun. However, his time ship is being froward as he tries to land and he mutters a few of his favourite Gallifreyan curses and uses a bit of violence to show who's boss. It doesn't work.

"Doctor," he hears Rose chiding. "Are you having a row with the TARDIS?"

"Well, I'm the pilot and she refuses to obey me!"

Rose leans against the console beside him, looking amused. "What are you trying to do, then?"

"Land!" he groans, whacking a button with his mallet. "You impossible, annoying little...!" He slams another button with his hand. "You're up early, Rose. _Really_ early. Why are you up so early?" he asks, tilting his head and looking curiously at her.

"Oh. Well. Uhm," she says, twirling her earring and looking away. "I, uhm, weneedtotalk."

He gulps. "Sorry?"

She takes a deep breath, looking him straight in the eye. "Doctor. We need to talk."

"Oh," he says, eyes widening. Well, this isn't good. He knows what this means. It's human code for 'This isn't working. It's me, not you. I hope we can still be friends'. He's seen enough films and telly with Rose to know this. "Yeah," he drawls, "just let me land and we can have a cuppa."

"Okay."

"Okay," he parrots, nodding and pulling a lever.

Groaning, the TARDIS shudders and throws its pilot and passenger to the floor, with Rose landing on top of the Doctor. His hands fly instinctively to her hips, holding her in place. Well, that's just...

"Hello," he says, beaming and feeling all warm inside.

"Hello," she replies, laughing breathlessly. "What?" she asks, eyes sparkling.

Oh. She can tell how awestruck he is by her, can't she? Damn. He opens his mouth to say something witty, but she cuts him off by giving him a mock-stern look.

"If you say I'm rather heavy, I'll slap you."

"Why would I say that?" he asks, furrowing his brow.

"'Cause you did the last time I fell on top of you."

"Did I? Well, that was rather rude of me," he says, grinning.

"Rude and not ginger," she replies, tongue poking out between her teeth as she runs her fingers through his hair.

Drinking her in, he admires the way her eyes crinkle when she smiles, how wonderful she smells and he revels in how amazing her body feels pressed against his. His Adam's apple bobs nervously and his fingers tighten around her curves as his hearts quicken their pace.

"How's your head?"

He scrunches up his face in confusion. "Ehm. Brilliant?"

"No, I mean, did you hit it? You seem a little out of it. You look...dazed, or something."

"Oh. Weeeell," he says, releasing one hip to tug at his ear. "You're rather heavy?"

"Oh, my god," she say, laughing and whacking him playfully on the chest. "If you're trying to distract me, it won't work." Looking serious all of a sudden, she rolls off him and stands up. "We still need to talk," she says, taking his hands and pulling him up. "I can't keep doing-"

She stops talking as the console room goes completely dark at the exact same moment as he stumbles into her arms. They embrace each other reflexively, trying to keep their balance. He feels her stiffening and holding her breath as though she's waiting for him to make a move. It's a logical assumption considering how this usually plays out; however, this time it's not his doing. It was his intention to walk her to the galley and take the news head first; therefore, he reaches out telepathically to his ship to ask what's wrong only to learn that everything is as it should be.

He decides to pull back from Rose and investigate but then he hears her licking her lips. The scent of her arousal reaches his nose, making his cock twitch, and he suddenly becomes very aware of how close they're standing to each other. Her hands are gripping his biceps whilst his are splayed over the small of her back, holding her tightly to him. He wants to see her face, but there is not one single light source in the room to help his night vision and all he has to go on is how she feels, sounds, smells and-

No! He can't do this, he can't... She's ending it. 'I can't keep doing,' is what she said before everything went dark and he knows what the ending to that sentence will be. It's not fair of him to initiate anything because he knows, by now, she won't turn him down if she's turned on. However, when her warm body starts moving away from him, his willpower dissolves and his hands shoot out on their own accord to grab her by the waist to keep her close.

Everything happens so fast that he's barely cognisant of his actions. There's the sound of fabric being torn apart, his zipper being undone and a gorgeous _oomph_ as Rose quickly turns and bends over the console, pushing her arse up in the air to meet him. He's already pounding into her tight, wet heat when he realises it was he who ripped her shorts off her body and positioned her in a way that would ensure she wouldn't get hurt by all the knobs and levers. Normally, he would've wondered how he managed to do all of that without conscious thought, but right now he's too drunk on her scent, the needy noises she makes and the feel of her slick walls encompassing his cock to care. Instinct has taken over and he pushes her top up over her chest, so he can possessively grab her breast and growl in his native tongue who she belongs to into her ear. She's not ending this. Not if he has anything to say about it.

He feels her move her hand down to where they are joined, her fingers brushing against the base of his cock a few times before settling on her clit. He can't help but fantasise about how good it would feel to have her wrap her fingers around his erection, stroking him until he pulses his come all over her hands, and the thought makes his thrusts become more urgent. Pinching her nipple between two fingers, he uses his own language to whisper things into her ear he'd never dare say out loud. He has no idea why but he knows it really turns her on when he speaks in Gallifreyan and moments later she's crying out when her climax overtakes her. The sound of her voice echoes in the dark and it tightens the knot in him, bringing him closer to the edge. Holding her hand up, she offers him her fingers and, humming appreciatively, he sucks them clean before she reaches back to clutch at his shirt and pull him closer.

"_Mine, mine, mine, mine_," he whispers in Gallifreyan, because she is. Not some idiot's or a boy genius', not a fake captain's or a butterfly man's. Just _his_.

The need to claim her grows stronger than ever and he wants to make sure no one can ever have her again. No one but him. He releases her breast and instinctively lifts his fingers to her temples to push himself into her mind, meld them together and-

"No!" she gasps, her hand covering his lightening fast and effectively stopping him before he's done anything but nudge at a crack in her measly mental barriers.

They are both paralysed for a few seconds, neither is breathing and he hears the furious beats of all three hearts. He realises some of the lights have lit up, bathing them in a subtle green glow, and that sometime during their fucking, Rose's knee found its way up on the console. He was too caught up in the haze to notice before this, but now the fog has cleared and he starts to panic. She doesn't know what he was about to do, or even that he can do something like that. No, he's only told her about how telepathic species often heighten intimate relations by sharing their minds, which means she just rejected what she believes to be a _temporary_ connection with him. He shouldn't be surprised. She always declines whenever he offers her his telepathic abilities. However, it has never before been in an intimate situation and her 'no' hurts more than he would have imagined. Despite being fully dressed, he's never felt more naked in his life.

She is the one breaking out of it first by guiding his hand back to her breast and grinding her hips against his. Slowly, he begins moving again but it's not good anymore. He finishes after a few thrusts by manipulating his body since he no longer wants to be here with her. He feels vulnerable and, after quickly pulling out, he searches and finds the scraps which used to be her shorts, cleans her up and quickly leaves. He can hear her whisper his name and ask if he's all right but, since he can't stand the thought of her pitying him, he keeps walking to his room.

He doesn't realise he is still holding onto her shorts and that he forgot to tuck himself back into his pants and trousers until he's inside his ensuite to take a shower. Staring down at his flaccid penis, he tries to understand what just happened. Rose was ending it. He panicked. He almost... No. No, not almost because he wasn't close. He never even entered her mind properly but the intent... With a _human_? Without... Oh, for Rassilon's sake! This is something he should've prepared her for and explained thoroughly, but he lost complete control and was set on claiming her without a single thought about consent. Had he succeeded it would've been irrevocable. She would _never_ forgive him for that.

He can't stand facing himself right now so, as he undresses, he carefully avoids the mirror before getting into the scalding hot shower. He plants his hands against the wall, leaning his head forward and staring at his toes as the water washes over him.

_I love having sex with you._

That's what she told him yesterday when she was still high on the cocktail of hormones her body released after her multiple orgasms. That is what came out of her mouth when she lost control. He clenches his fists and his jaw, feeling his humiliation rise within him as her words echo repeatedly in his head.

_I love having sex with you._

Not...not...not I...

Shuddering, he swallows down the lump in his throat and then deeply breathes in and out as he tries to calm down.

_I love having sex with you._

Oh, if only she knew the things he says when he loses control... No! She can never know. _Never!_

She's right in ending it. He's a...he's a _monster_. A selfish, perverted monster who almost ruined a young woman's life forever. Besides, he can't do this anymore. Not when he's alone in feeling like this because he does and he can't deny it to himself anymore. She has just rejected him and it_hurts_. He was right all along: sex makes everything worse. It's never been like this before, not even with... Because they never... Groaning, he slams his hand into the wall and changes the temperature to ice cold in an effort to feel numb instead of heartbroken.

Rose is already in the console room, dressed in a new outfit and sitting with Mickey the Idiot on the jump seat, when the Doctor returns. She doesn't look upset at all and it's almost insulting, since he's plagued by the turmoil roaring inside of him.

"Right!" he says, clapping his hands together and acting like everything is fine. "Let's try and land this thing! Time for your first adventure, Mickey, my man."

"The vaccine's done, then?"

"Ah. No. No, no...but reckoned we need a break from...all of this," he says, gesturing vaguely.

The TARDIS is still being difficult, but eventually she materialises and the Doctor makes an attempt to get to the door; however, Rose grabs his hand and pulls him to the side, looking concernedly at him.

"Are you all right?"

"Yep!" he says, smiling brilliantly at her.

She smiles back, giving his hand a little squeeze. "'Kay... Later, then? It's important," she says, and he confirms it with a nod before heading to the door.

He shuts down all thoughts of her and what they just did along with the damage he's done. It's time for a new world, a new problem to solve and he's eager to throw himself head first into it.

The three time travellers walk through the door to see where they have landed and Mickey can barely believe his luck.

"It's a spaceship. Brilliant! I got a spaceship on my first go."

* * *

Brilliant, Mickey said. Brilliant. Well, that's not the word Rose would have used for it. The Doctor has just taken Arthur and jumped through the time window to save his precious Reinette. It doesn't take long before Rose decides that she has more important things to do instead of staring at the broken mirror. She has her oldest friend-well, her best friend now, she supposes-in the world to think about and needs to take action.

"Well, then," she says with an enthusiasm she's not feeling. "Gotta make sure we, uhm..." She takes a deep breath. "He'll be back but in case he doesn't...you know. Uhm, supplies, water, uhm, emergency protocol and such, yeah?"

"Oh, right," Mickey says, looking terrified. "D'you think... I mean, can we get home again? Are we...are we stuck here, Rose?"

She licks her lips nervously, fidgeting with her earring. "Uhm..."

"Just be honest with me."

"Seems like."

"Brilliant," he bites out. "I might die on a spaceship on my first go," he says, kicking at some rubbish on the floor.

"No!" she says. "No one's dying. C'mon, Mickey. We've got work to do."

After checking all the other time windows, only to find out none of them are working, the duo head back inside the TARDIS to see if there's some sort of emergency program for situations like these. Unfortunately, the only one she finds is the one with her first Doctor and Rose nearly chokes out a sob when his daft old face shows up.

"Isn't this good, babe?" Mickey asks, stroking her back.

"No. I've already used this one. We'd land in the same place, in the same time. I don't even wanna know what kind of paradox I'd create. We can't do that. Why hasn't he made another one?" she asks, but Mickey is just smiling meekly at her with a helpless shrug.

They spend an hour, combining Mickey's computer skills with Rose's meager TARDIS skills, trying to find a way home but nothing works.

"Isn't there someone we can call?"

"Jack! He'd know what to do. But I don't know how to get in contact with him. The Doctor just said he's rebuilding the Earth. Maybe..." She furrows her brow, thinking. "Okay. You go make some sort of inventory of our food supplies and I'll go to Jack's old room to see if there's anything that can help me, 'kay?"

"Sure thing, boss," he says, making a salute.

"Don't call me that," she replies and they stare at one another for a moment. "He'll be back."

Rose walks to Jack's room, trying her best to focus on fixing their problem and bottling up her feelings. She's not been in here since he left them-or did they leave him? She doesn't really know what to believe anymore. Throwing herself in his bed, she allows herself a moment of just breathing in the faint scent of him still lingering on the sheets. She misses him and his bright energy.

"Did we just leave you behind?" she whispers, hugging a pillow. "I'm sorry, Jack. And I'm sorry for going through your things."

She spends almost two hours searching his room for clues as to his whereabouts but she doesn't find anything. Afterward, she goes to the galley in search of Mickey only to find that the TARDIS leads her to the media room instead.

"Oh, you're in here," she says, seeing the top of Mickey's head in front of the backrest of the sofa.

"Yeah. Was ready, but couldn't find Jack's room," he tells her as she sits down. "I think we have enough food to survive at least a couple of months."

"Two months! That's good," she says, smiling as wide as she can but knows Mickey can tell it's not quite reaching her eyes. "He must be able to figure out a way to come back by then."

"Wouldn't hold my hopes up," says Mickey. "If he couldn't even figure out a better way of saving his precious, little bint..."

"Why are you in here, anyway," she asks, quickly changing the subject because if she thinks about Reinette right now, she'll break. Rose might not know for sure what went on in France but she's not stupid. He seemed distracted, choosing to spend time with Reinette rather than making sure his companions were safe, and the way the other woman spoke about him... No, she can't think about that. She can't.

"I almost died today, Rose."

"Yeah..."

"Never been happier about not having any family to miss me," he says, propping his feet up on the table and crossing his arms over his chest.

Rose licks her lips and swallows, not knowing what to say.

"You almost did, too," he points out.

"Yeah."

"He didn't even seem to care," he says, but it sounds more like a question. "Do you always almost die?"

"Suppose I do," she answers, picking at her nails.

"Does he usually care, then?" he asks and she shrugs. "Now, go on. Does he?"

"Yeah."

"So that's all it takes? A pretty blonde in a fancy dress and he's arse over elbow?"

"Seems like."

"I thought you two were...you know," he says, shaking his head and wrinkling his forehead in confusion.

"Nope," she says, staring at her hands before sticking her thumb nail into her mouth.

"So, just shagging, then," he concludes.

"Yep. Mum told you," she states, tired of pretending.

"Nah. I heard you," he informs her and she's much too numb to feel shocked or embarrassed.

"I'm sorry."

"You're loud."

"Yeah. Suppose I am."

"You never sounded like that with me."

She turns to him. "You know what, Mickey? Sod off," she snarls and then gets up with the intention of walking out of the room; however, she sits down again before she takes her first step towards the door. Mickey almost died today because she's stupid enough to trust the biggest manipulator in the universe. "I'm sorry. Didn't mean that."

"I get it," he says, putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. She supposes he does. He, of all people, really does. "I'm sorry, too, babe."

"Wanna watch that sequel, then?" she asks, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Oh, right. You never got to that, did you?" he says, snorting.

"Oh, that's when... No, no we didn't."

* * *

The Doctor is trapped without purpose; separated from the most important ship and the most important person in all of time and space. All because he stuck his head in the sand for so long he couldn't do anything but run once it all came crashing down. He should formulate a plan on how to find his way back, but he's so shocked by what has transpired today that he can't think clearly. He wants to go home more than anything, but he can't allow himself to be selfish right now. He has to clean up the mess he's made and make sure no one gets their hands on the clockwork droids. After removing his suit jacket and rolling up his sleeves, he sits down in a room the king has given him to work. Reinette offers to help him disassemble the droids and, had he not been grateful for any help he can get, he would have laughed at that. As brilliant as she is, he would never have guessed that Madame de Pompadour would one day help him pick apart robots.

Rose's words are running on repeat in his mind as he works and it's driving him spare. He knows he'll snap if anyone tries to distract him with smalltalk or personal questions right now. Thankfully, Reinette is good at reading people and the only things she asks him are pertaining their work and she keeps them to a minimum, at that. They finish rather quickly and, after scanning the parts with the sonic screwdriver to confirm the remaining parts are made of metals found in this century, they call for a servant to put them away until a metalsmith is able to collect them. Leaning back in his chair, the Doctor exhales slowly and runs his hands over his face. He needs something else to do now; something to keep him going. It will be decades before he can locate a younger version of himself on Earth and, even though it's a short time compared to his long lifespan, it feels like an eternity.

Reinette interrupts his mulling by asking, "Am I correct in believing this has all taken place in the course of a day for you, my angel?" Her smile is sweet but her brow is crinkled in concern.

"Yep," he says, popping the 'p' and staring into open space. Maybe he could build something to track a time agent, but then there's the problem of not knowing the name of the ship or the coordinates Rose and his TARDIS are stranded on.

"No wonder you are fatigued!" Reinette says, getting up and positioning herself behind him. "You know, Doctor, I can help you unwind."

"Reinette, I don't-"

"Shhh", she says, kneading his shoulders. He should probably ask her to stop, but it feels good and he's so tired. Closing his eyes, he tries to focus on the movements of her hands; her clever fingers run up and down his spine and rub circles over his neck and shoulders, helping him relax.

"I think my king was a little jealous of you," she says after several moments, probably feeling the tension leaving his body.

"Well," he drawls. "I am rather impressive." He tries to make it sound light but his words fall flat.

"I dare say you are," she replies and he hears the smile in her voice.

She walks over to a table, which holds a tray of glasses and a decanter of wine. "I propose a toast," she says, pouring wine into two glasses. "To my knight in shining armour! I am lucky to keep you for a little while."

Ah. She hasn't pieced it together just yet and thinks he's lingering for her sake. That's...well, it's a bit sad, to be honest. He thought she was more perceptive than that, but he supposes he is her blind spot. He forces himself to smile, hoping it looks at least a little bit genuine, and raises his glass before taking a sip.

Knitting her brow, she leans in to cup his cheek. "Are you unwell, Doctor?"

"I'm fine," he says, pulling back.

He drains his glass and gets up to refill it, well aware that Reinette is watching his every move.

"You look wistful, my angel."

"Just tired, Reinette. Very, very tired."

"We are alone, the metal men are defeated..." she says, walking up to him and putting down both of their glasses on the table. "I still remember they way your lips felt against mine," she tells him, gently touching hers with her fingertips. "So cool."

"I'm not human, Reinette."

"I am well aware, my love," she says, running her fingers over his cheekbones. "Will you stay young forever whilst I grow old and grey?"

"Yes," he says, and he knows she misinterprets the pain flashing in his eyes to be about her.

Should he let her? He can very easily rectify her mistake and tell her that, as wonderful as she is, he doesn't return her feelings and he can't offer her what she wants. How she doesn't know this already puzzles him, since she barged into his mind and took a good look around. Perhaps she only saw what she wanted to see? Had she seen his true nature, she would never call him her lonely angel. Did she completely miss all the lives he has taken or did she choose not to see it? She's got this all wrong, viewing him as some misunderstood romantic hero instead of the monster he truly is-and yet...it feels good and uncomplicated. He's struggled so hard ever since the Time War and even more so since his regeneration and he's _exhausted_.

"You are a man in other regards, are you not?" she asks, quirking an eyebrow. "I saw raw sensuality when I visited your mind. A deep hunger." She rises up on tiptoes to whisper in his ear. "Insatiable."

He's not spoken for since Rose only loves having sex with him. He's stuck here for god knows how long and he's deeply unhappy. This whole day has been a catastrophe and he wants nothing more than to just forget. Not just this day but all the months since his regeneration. He can't believe he's let someone in again, so intimately at that, and can't help but wonder when he's going to finally learn.

Reinette is right about this body being insatiable, so he doesn't stop her when she kisses up along his jaw until she reaches his mouth. He hears her sigh as they kiss and she tugs a little at his bottom lip to make him open up but he barely reciprocates. Last time, he was caught up in the rush and the excitement and enjoyed the physical sensation but now everything feels off.

"Do you not want to kiss me?"

"You're a very good kisser, Reinette."

"You are answering a question I did not ask."

"I..." He ducks his head. "I'm not human."

"Angels don't kiss?"

Chuckling, he shakes his head. "I'm not an angel, either."

"I disagree! And I want to thank you for saving my life, my love. You are still here, are you not? Still by my side instead of running back to your cold, cruel world." She sucks gently on his earlobe before whispering, "Let me take care of you for a moment. Let me help you clear your mind." She cups him through his trousers, giving him a squeeze. "You are a powerful man and I know you carry a great burden. Is it not time for you to be loved and cherished? You deserve it."

She gracefully kneels before him, skirts flowing out around her, and starts unfastening his trousers. It's almost like an out of body experience and he's unable to connect what's happening to himself. He's completely numb, standing frozen and staring as she pulls down his zipper; however, he stops her, before she is able to touch him, by wrapping his fingers around her wrist.

It's all wrong. Everything about her is carefully styled and every movement practised. Her hands are too pale and dainty; her hair golden instead of bottle blond with dark roots; her lips should be plumper and her nose rounder; her eyes are too narrow and blue. He doesn't want this; he doesn't want Reinette.

"Is something the matter?" she asks, not looking as surprised as he would've imagined.

"I'm sorry," he says, helping her up.

"It's that child, is it not?" she says, sounding a little bitter.

"She's not a child."

"No? Tell me, how old are you?"

He gives her a lopsided smile. "If you look at it like that, you're all children compared to me."

Reinette shrugs, somehow making it look rather dignified and elegant. "I have loved you my whole life but I am not naive enough to think I can keep you, fireplace man. It would be such a crime to clip an angel's wings. Rose knows it as well."

"What do you mean?"

"She might be a child, but she is not a fool. I saw it in her eyes when we spoke. She accepted that you were taking another lover. Had she been against it, she would have protested! However, she knows a man such as yourself cannot be reined in."

"I...what?!"

"The way you have acted around me, Doctor, surely you can see the conclusions your lover would draw?"

"...oh. Well... But... Wait. She didn't protest?" he asks, remembering how territorial Rose had been with Sarah Jane. Why didn't she care now?

"No. Oh, Doctor, no one appreciates feeling replaced but she understood. So," she says, inching closer to him, "why not use these precious hours together and make the best of it? Part with dear memories in our hearts," she whispers, pressing her hand against his chest.

He grabs his glass and his suit jacket, heading for the door. "I'm sorry, Reinette. You're...a lovely woman but it's too soon."

"Too soon...? Doctor, what do you mean?" he hears her ask, but he keeps walking as he slips on his jacket and makes himself presentable again.

After finding a small room with a pianoforte, he puts down his glass and sits down to see if these new hands remember how to play. His long, slender fingers fly over the keys and he feels like such a cliché as it turns out to be a rather sombre melody. Picking up the cup again, he snorts at himself and walks up to the window instead. It might not be much better, moping as he gazes at the starry sky, but it makes him feel the smallest bit connected with his ship and his-

"You know all their names, don't you?" says Reinette, walking up beside him.

He's just insulted her and yet she's kind and understanding, and tries her very best to pull him out of his bad mood. He decides to chat and flirt, despite not having the energy to hide the sadness reflected in his eyes or pull off convincing smiles and it's obvious she notices. For someone as intelligent and experienced as she is, there's still an innocence about her and he wonders if he somehow imprinted himself on her since she was so young when they first met. Why else would someone like her allow him to treat her this way? He knows she doesn't have many years left and contemplates spending them by her side, as penance, before heading off to find something to do to pass the time until he can find a way back home. In fifty years, an earlier version of himself partakes in the Boston Tea Party, so all he has to do is show up and then they can track his TARDIS. Hopefully, he will still have this body so Rose doesn't have to get used to another one and he hopes to return to her not long after his departure. It's always tricky landing when there's already a TARDIS parked there, but... Oh, he hopes he'll be the only one who has to suffer a separation.

Luckily, he never has to go through all of that because Reinette, of all people, has the solution. Once she catches on that he's trapped against his will, it doesn't take her long to show him the old fireplace and he happily rushes up to it. He's going home! However, as he sees the dejected look on her face he knows he cannot leave without at least offering her to see one of those stars. He's treated her horribly, rejected her love, and she's been stalked by murderous droids all of her life. She can pick one star and he'll take them up into space and open the doors, so they can safely admire it whilst standing inside the TARDIS and then he'll bring her back.

* * *

Rose can hardly believe her luck when the Doctor comes back to her only five and a half hours after jumping through the mirror; however, not even five minutes later he breaks her heart as he runs back to Reinette. Rose can't be sure, but it seems he wants to bring her aboard the TARDIS and the thought hurts so much she can barely breathe. This time she only waits ten minutes before giving up and returning to the TARDIS and, once more, she finds Mickey in the media room.

"He's not back?"

"No."

"Ran after her?"

"Yep."

"What for?"

"How should I know?" she asks, picking up a throw pillow and picking at loose threads.

"Another five and a half hours, then?" he asks and she shrugs. "'Be with you in a sec', my arse. She must have front bits of gold or something. We almost died 'cause he couldn't keep it in his pants and now he's running back? Didn't even say he was sorry. But he's not, is he? Not even a little. You saw him when we were almost dissected by those droids. Didn't give a bleeding hell, did he? No, he put on a great show and ran his gob instead of just flipping that thing that turned them off straight away. What if they had decided to just slice our throats, eh? He wouldn't have been able to stop them, would he?"

She doesn't say anything, only sags further down on the sofa. Mickey's right. One move and it would've been over for her, whilst the Doctor was busy winding the droids up and calling them thick. He didn't even ask her if she was all right.

"I saw you!" Mickey exclaims. "You were scared, Rose. And angry. But he just kept going. Wanted to prove to the robots he was clever. To robots! Why didn't he just turn them off?" He turns to her and touches her arm. "Why, Rose? Why did he leave us?"

"I don't know!" she shouts. "I don't wanna talk about this."

"Well, maybe I do. Have you been with him so long you've forgotten how? I can't just bottle it all up, Rose. I almost _died_. He knew those ice guns didn't help and he knew that ship was full of droids and he chose to party. That's what he _chose_, Rose. You get that, right? Wasn't forced to do it. He chose to. If this is the way it is, I wanna go home."

"Then we'll take you home," she says, pouting and staring at her fingers.

"Rose..."

"No. He's coming back to me. To us. He's coming back and she'll stay there, 'cause she belongs to history and this will all be over."

Shaking his head, Mickey stands up. "You wanna stay even after all of this...? Do you remember what you said when Jimmy hit you? Said you still wanted to stay and that's how you knew you had to go. Sixteen, Rose. Sixteen and you were smarter than you are now."

Rose sits and just stares for several moments before flipping through the media library for a romcom to take her mind off things. She blames her mum for this habit but, as silly as it feels sometimes, it rarely fails to cheer her up. Dirty Dancing and Pretty Woman were played on repeat after Jimmy, so it's only natural she's drawn to those this time as well. She doesn't care at all what Mickey wants to watch and presses play.

"We're doing this again?" Mickey groans as Pretty Woman starts.

"You don't have to join me."

"Nah, it's all right. Don't much fancy being alone right now."

They watch it in silence, but Rose smiles as she realises something she's never thought of before: she's a little bit like Vivian. A handsome, older stranger picks her up in his really wicked ride and whisks her away from her boring life. Shareen and Kit even resemble each other in character as well as looks. However, when the scene where Edward and Vivian discuss what she does and she says everything, except kisses on the mouth, Rose's blood runs cold. Her mouth feels dry and her chest constricts.

"Micks? Have you ever been with a prossie?" she asks, voice a bit hoarse.

"Uhm... Well," he says, shifting in his seat.

"You have?!"

"Everybody thought I killed you, Rose. Was the only way I could get shagged."

"Did you ever kiss them on the mouth?"

"Nah," he says. "That would've been weird. Kissing's intimate. Sex is... Well, could shag just about anyone, if she's a bit of all right."

"How about one night stands, then?" she asks, focusing really hard to keep her calm.

"Oh. Well, we kiss. Yeah."

"What's the difference?"

"Dunno. Guess it's 'cause it's still about attraction and not just paying for a quick shag? Haven't really thought about it. Why you ask? Doesn't the Doctor kiss you?" he asks, chuckling as though his question was ridiculous.

"'Course he does," she lies.

"Yeah, 'course he does," Mickey says absentmindedly, already invested in the film he claimed he didn't want to watch.

Rose doesn't really pay attention to the rest of the film, not even during the shopping montage. She just sits next to Mickey and stares in front of her, trying her hardest not to feel like an easy lay, but the words '_I want that body safe, Cassandra_,' keep ringing in her ears. Is that all she is? A body not even worthy of kissing.

When she chose the films, she put them on a playlist and as soon as the credits have finished rolling, Dirty Dancing starts. She knows Mickey secretly loves it and he's already in a better mood, but Rose can't help but reevaluate the months she's spent with her new new Doctor and the result isn't very flattering for either of them. She's never felt as stupid or used in her life.

They have almost finished the film when the TARDIS flickers the lights to get their attention. Rose assumes she's telling them the Doctor is coming back, so they run to the console room to wait for him to come through the door. Rose is not sure what she was expecting, but seeing a heartbroken Doctor wasn't at the top of her list. He's pretending to be fine but anyone would be able to tell it's just an act. When she asks him if he's all right, he just shuts her out and something inside of her snaps and she grows ice cold. He'd rather stand there, lying straight to her face and moping about some random tart he knew for a day, than actually ask her and Mickey how they're doing. She stares at him in disbelief and Mickey has to pull her away with some lame excuse neither she nor the Doctor can hear.

"I'm going tomorrow," Mickey says as they stand outside his bedroom. "Think about it, babe," he adds before closing the door behind him.

"Oh, I'm done thinking," she mutters to herself. She takes a detour to the wardrobe room and picks up a transdimensional bag. "I'm done with a lot of things."

* * *

The Doctor folds Reinette's letter and puts it into his pocket. She spent her last years waiting for something she could never have, someone who wasn't even real. She called him her love and her lonely angel even though he was neither. Not that he ever corrected her when they spoke. He's rather good at sending mixed signals, isn't he? Doing one thing and saying another. He's also good at making rash decisions in the heat of the moment. He's deeply ashamed of his conduct today and he knows he's hurt not only Reinette but Rose as well. His loyal, compassionate Rose who, instead of berating him for practically cheating on her, was concerned and asked him if he was all right.

Reinette was right about one thing: why not use the little time they have and make the best of it? Wouldn't it be better to live with beautiful memories than with regret? He's been so scared, using any excuse he can to keep his distance whilst also holding Rose almost too close. Thinking of it now, he has no idea what she wanted to talk to him about. Maybe she was tired of being in the dark? Instead of being patient and hearing her out, he rushed into danger because it was easier than actually facing the consequences. He did a spectacularly bad job today, messing up, forgetting things and not solving matters quite as efficiently as he usually does. All because he's been so distraught over everything that has happened between himself and Rose these past few months. They established a pattern so quickly and he didn't have the strength to break it until now.

It's time for him to stop pretending he's confused. He has meant every word he's whispered into her ear and she deserves to hear it in a language she can understand. If she wanted to end it, she wouldn't have had sex with him on the console and she wouldn't have let him finish after he tried to enter her mind. She would have stopped him. Of course she would have. God, he's thick! Rose has been patiently waiting for him to get his act together and stop lying to himself. Well, she won't have to wait anymore.

* * *

Rose isn't sure how long she's been asleep when she feels someone curling up behind her in bed, trying to wake her. A cool hand strokes her arm up and down and she hums softly, snuggling closer.

"Rose," the Doctor whispers. "Rose, wake up."

"Sleeping," she mumbles, grabbing his hand and pulling his arm around her waist. Mmm, she's really missed this.

"Wake up," he says quietly into her hair, nuzzling her neck and she gets a swooping feeling in her stomach.

"Human. Sleep. Night," she murmurs, tilting her head to give him better access to her skin and entwining her fingers with his.

"Rose..."

She moans when he places feather light kisses on her bare shoulder up to her neck whilst his hand draws slow circles on her stomach, making her warm and excited. However, she's brought out of her haze when she feels his erection pressing against her back and immediately remembers what happened earlier that day. Her arm shoots out and she scrambles after the light switch on the wall lamp hanging over her bed. Turning around to face him, she blinks a few times as she adjusts to the light, and bores her eyes into him as soon as she can see clearly.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" she snarls, pushing him away from her.

He seems paralysed, gaping at her, and the fact that he has the gall to look surprised over her rejection makes her livid. The devastating feeling of heartbreak is replaced by pure rage and she gives him another push, making him fall out of her bed. He looks up at her from the floor with the most wounded expression she's ever seen on this face, but his puppy dog eyes won't work this time. She's done being manipulated.

"Don't you _dare_ touch me!"

* * *

A/N: I had the smut all planned out, but then I saw some fan art that was similar enough that I could switch it up and make it fit. So for the smut in this chapter just look at flypup's fan art for a visual haha: post/54413919758/mine-mine-mine-all-mine (image obviously nsfw)


	17. Realisation

"Don't you _dare_ touch me!"

"I won't," he says, holding up his hands before scrambling further back on the floor. "I'm sorry. I...I thought..."

"You thought what? That you could come in here and have a quick shag to feel a bit better? Not bloody likely."

"No!" he says, looking horrified. "That's not-"

"Do you know what your little girlfriend said to me?"

"She's not-"

"She said 'the Doctor's worth the monsters'," she interrupts, mocking Reinette's tone. "Did she know? Did you tell her about me and Mickey almost being chopped to pieces? Worth the monsters," she snarks. "Easy for her to say, having a personal bodyguard at her beck and call. She has no idea what it's really like and yet she has the nerve to come up to me and tell me how this life is. How rude is that?" She snorts, curling her lips at him in disdain. "Guess she suits you, then, doesn't she?"

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Yeah, whatever."

"No, she's not. Rose, I didn't..."

"What?" she says, almost laughing at him. "You're gonna sit here and lie to my face, is that it? How stupid do you think I am?"

He takes a deep breath and gets up on his feet. "May I...?" he asks, gesturing at the bed.

"No. You can sit on that chair," she says, tilting her head towards the one in front of her vanity.

Nodding, he pulls it up to her bed and sits down. "I don't want to, and I won't, lie to you. Reinette loved me and she...she wanted to... But I stopped her before anything happened," he says hurriedly, and Rose snorts. "I didn't do anything!"

"Mhm. You're telling me you can't even see an inch of my naked skin without pouncing on me, but you managed to turn down a seductress?"

"Yes!" he says, throwing his arms out. "That's _exactly_ what I'm saying!"

"You're so full of shit," she says, shaking her head and laughing at him. "But you know what? I don't even care."

"Yes you do!" he says hotly.

"I really don't," she lies.

"Oh, really. Then why are we fighting?" he challenges, raising his eyebrows and giving her a pointed look.

"Oh my god. You're so thick."

"Okay, you want a full confession, then? Is that what this is about?" he asks, leaning forward and looking serious. "We kissed. Twice. Once before I was trapped and once after," he tells her, and he might as well have punched her in the face. She really would have preferred him shagging Reinette, because him willingly kissing someone obviously means something. "She squeezed me through my trousers," he continues. "That's it. Nothing else happened. I did _not_ have sex with her. I didn't. I swear I didn't."

"You kissed," she says, managing to make it sound like a statement and not the heartbroken question it really is. "Twice. And that's it."

"Yes! Well, she kissed me and...I kissed back," he tells her and a strange calm washes over her. This is the final proof she needs. He didn't kiss her back when Cassandra controlled her body. He just stood there with his hands in his pockets, but he kissed Reinette. Twice. "But it wasn't-"

"Yes, that's what we humans do when we're in love," she interrupts, more determined than ever to hide from him how distraught she is. "That's how we show it," she explains, calmly meeting his eye and hoping he gets the point. "I'm glad you got to experience it. It's actually my favourite thing about being in love. Used to snog Mickey for hours and hours."

"Oh..." he says, looking lost. She knows she hurt his huge ego by making him believe that she's not a stupid, little girl who's besotted with him but she can't feel triumphant about it. There's no way she can come out of this feeling like she's won. "Well, then. Do...do you believe me? That nothing else happened," he asks.

"Yes."

He lets out the breath he seems to have been holding and smiles hopefully at her. "...and do you forgive me?"

"Ooooh. You think I'm this upset because I'm _jealous_? Really?" she asks, very impressed over her own acting skills.

"Ehm, well, I'm not sure-"

"God, Doctor. It's just sex. No strings attached shagging, is what it is. We're not together. You're not my bloke. You're free to do whatever you want and so am I."

His jaw drops. "Did...have you...did..." He narrows his eyes. "Was it Olennh?"

She licks her lips slowly and takes a deep breath to prevent herself from snapping at him. She wants to get her message across and things will fall apart if she starts yelling. "This is where we're so different, Doctor. I was too busy making sure we all stayed alive. I wouldn't leave someone in danger just so I could get shagged."

He runs his fingers through his hair, tugging frustratedly at the strands. "I didn't get shagged!"

"That's beside the point! You've got fucked up priorities, all right? I don't trust you any more! You couldn't be arsed to hold the elevator for me in New New York. Took you long enough to realise I was locked up in Torchwood House. You barely acknowledged me as soon as we met Sarah Jane, until... Well, until you needed me to-to satisfy your needs," she says and he ducks his head in shame.

"And then you just...! You didn't even care that we almost died. You don't _care_! I felt like the most important person in the universe before you changed. Now I'm just your plaything. And you actually believed that, what, I was waiting for you to fall in love with me or something?" she asks, seeing him recoil as she snorts at him.

"Sarah Jane said you were conceited, yeah, but this really takes the biscuit! And you know what? That only makes it worse. 'Cause if you really believed that, you're an even bigger prat than I thought. Were you just playing, Doctor? Were you having fun thinking you were fooling me?"

He doesn't say anything, only looks down at his hands, resting clasped together in his lap.

"I thought we were on the same page. I can't believe this! I'd never think you were this cruel."

"I'm not!" he growls. "How can you even think that?"

"How? I'll tell you how. When I was lying there on that table I told them," she continues, "Told them you'd show up soon, I did. And I thought that you had to be doing something really important, yeah? That's why Mickey and I were strapped to... But then you showed up and you weren't doing anything important at all, were you? No, not you. You-you... You knew there were more robots there. You knew the ice guns only stopped them temporarily and still you... Why?" she cries out, sounding more pleading than angry. "I don't understand! Why would partying be more important than our _lives_?"

She looks at him, waiting for some sort of apology or maybe an excuse, but he stays silent.

"Say something!"

"I...I'm sorry. I...I made a mistake."

"A mistake?" Closing her eyes, she shakes her head. "You know what? I can't do this anymore. It's not worth it."

"Okay. We'll, ehm, we'll just be...we'll just be mates. That's probably for the best, anyway."

She lets out a guffaw. "Wow, you-you... You actually thought... No, that's not what I meant," she says and he blinks at her in confusion. "I don't trust you anymore," she explains, slowly this time. "It's time for me to go home."

"What?!"

"I want to go home."

He thrusts his arm out, gesturing at her room. "This is your home!"

"No."

"But you'll hate it! Don't even try to deny it, Rose. Living like that will drive you barmy."

"I'd rather be barmy than dead 'cause you regenerated into some sex addict!" she blurts out and they stare at each other for several heartbeats. She's panting, whilst he doesn't appear to be breathing at all and his eyes are so dark they're almost black. Rose swallows, willing herself to calm down and get control over her breathing. "I love this life, yeah, but it's only better with two and it's not really like that anymore, is it? It hasn't been since... I just don't know you anymore!"

"You know me better than anyone!"

"What?!" she exclaims. "No I don't! I don't know you at all. I know nothing about you. You never let me in."

"I've shown you sides of me I've never shown anyone!"

"What, your cock?" she asks, laughing. "Really? Is that supposed to make me feel special? Not that I've ever actually seen it, mind you," she adds under her breath.

"No, that's not what I meant," he says quietly. "I've said things to you I've never..." He sighs deeply, shaking his head.

"Like what?" she asks, crossing her arms over her chest, but he just looks away. "Yeah... That's what I thought. Should've left a long time ago. I see that now. Should've known something was wrong when you...when you decided to-to fuck me," she says and he ducks his head. "I just... Didn't want to see that you weren't the same man anymore."

His head shoots up. "What?"

Furrowing her brow, she shakes her head and gives him a remorseful look. "I accepted you too soon. I should've... Dunno what I should've done. Not come with you, I suppose. Said no. Gotten you help. Something. Not what I did, anyway. It was wrong. This is all...wrong. You just have his memories, yeah, but you're not him."

"Rose... I am. I'm the same man. I'm-"

"Don't. You've finally shown me who you are and..." She draws in a deep breath, leaning back against the headboard. "You know, mum knew this would happen. She warned me and I said no, you'd never do that. Not to me. You even promised. But it was just a lie. Just like everything else you say. I _believed_ you," she says, hitting her chest with her fist. "I did. And it's not even been a week since then and you're already trying to get rid of me. I was just a placeholder, wasn't I? Someone to have a little fun with until you found your next brilliant Sarah Jane. I'm just a stupid chav ape who thought she was special. Well, I'm not-"

"You are," he says, getting out of the chair and kneeling beside her bed. "You are special. To me."

"Stop it," she hisses. "Just-just stop trying to manipulate me! I'm _exhausted_ 'cause I've spent my whole day trying to survive and worrying about someone who doesn't give a shit about me. Worrying about you being safe. If you stopped the robots or if you were hurt. If you were coming back to...to me. How you would cope being on your own without me, your best mate, to hold your hand. Or so I thought. But whilst I was in agony, worrying about you for hours, you were dancing and drinking and-and _snogging_. So you know what? Fuck you!" she snarls, and she feels almost as shocked over her words as he looks.

"Rose..." he says, hand hovering at her bedside before falling limply into his lap.

"I was sleeping!" she says, staring at him and frowning.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"And you just came in here for sex? After everything that happened today, you thought I wanted to have sex with you?"

"It wasn't... No, no I... You took my hand, you snuggled into me. I thought..."

"I didn't know what I was doing," she says, rubbing her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have."

"No, you shouldn't. I'm tired and I want to go back to sleep. Tomorrow you're taking me home."

"But...you said you weren't going anywhere," he says, voice low.

"I've changed my mind."

"...but you promised."

"You used to always do your best to keep me safe. Always bringing me with you. Your plus one. I don't wanna die 'cause you have some sort of midlife crisis. I can give my life to save the universe but not for that. I'm sorry, but I'm breaking my promise. This was supposed to be a better way of living my life, but it's not. Not anymore."

Standing up, he nods slowly and she can't read anything in his face at all. "You're right," he finally says. "I've not been a good friend to you. I'll take you home first thing tomorrow morning."

She wants to throw her arms out and pull him in for a hug, clinging to him and making sure they will never be separated again. Him agreeing with her was the worst thing that could've happened, because as long as he talked back or was silent she stayed angry; however, now she's just panicking. She doesn't want to leave. She wants to be with him forever...

No! That's why she has to go, just like Mickey reminded her. She can't stay with someone who treats her like a toy. He broke her heart today and she can't afford for him to break her spirit.

"Thank you," she says. "Now, please get out of my room."

* * *

When Rose wakes up the following morning, she feels completely drained. She showers, gets dressed and then leans against the wall for a moment to say her goodbyes to the time ship. She has no idea how she manages to muster up the energy to pack her things but she does. Once her duffel bag is stuffed, she shoves the rest of her things into the transdimensional bag and then hoists both up on her shoulders and walks out to the console room. He's standing by the time rotor, hands in his pockets and staring at his feet. His face is devoid of emotion and he doesn't look up when she enters the room, only turns around and flips levers and switches until the TARDIS parks with a groan.

This is it. She's leaving him. Taking a deep breath, she prepares to say her final goodbye but, to her surprise, the Doctor speaks up first.

"Rose. I want to tell you something, want you to understand so you don't..." He sighs and runs his hand over his mouth. "This is final. You won't ever see me again. I won't visit, I won't pick up if you call... I'm not Mickey. I'm not...I won't wait around for you to take me back. If you walk out that door..."

"I know," she says, licking her lips. "I know you don't...do that." She walks up to him and takes his hand. "I want to thank you. You've made me...dunno," she says, laughing nervously. "I'll live a fantastic life. Just like...you wanted me to. Won't waste it on beans on toast and telly. Doctor, I wouldn't have missed-"

She gets interrupted by him tugging his hand free and walking away without a word. Besides a few tears when he first jumped through the time window she hasn't cried, but now it's really hard to keep her composure. She takes a couple of shuddering breaths, calming herself down, and then walks out of the TARDIS knowing that whilst this is the last thing she wants, it's what she needs to do. However, she can't help but wonder if she'll regret it for the rest of her life.

* * *

The Doctor sags against the wall, waiting for the TARDIS to declare the coast is clear. It doesn't take long before his time ship nudges him telepathically, so he can walk back into the console room to send them into the vortex. Once they are drifting safely, he walks to Rose's room and lies down in her bed. He doesn't bother to look around to see what she's left behind. He simply pulls the covers around him and closes his eyes, falling asleep in a Rose scented cocoon.

Several days pass without him noticing because his time senses are dulled from the pain he's feeling. He should be alarmed by how much he's sleeping, but he can't force himself to care enough to do anything about it. When he is awake, he chooses to stay in bed, staring at the walls in front of him and wondering if he should go back and warn himself not to shag Rose. The TARDIS tries to reach out to him, but he uses what little energy he has left to block her out until one day she telepathically shouts at him so loudly it hurts.

He doesn't talk to his time ship in the way he talks to people; language is too complex for her. Well, he does talk, since he can't really stop himself, but they communicate with images and emotions. Right now his ship is worried and angry, assaulting his mind with images of water, food and, for some reason, K9.

"All right, all right," he mutters, rolling out of bed ensnared in the sheets and landing on the floor with an oomph.

He walks to the galley to make himself a cuppa and a sandwich but, as he enters the room, he notices a large jar of jam on the counter and changes his mind.

"This your doing, then?" he asks his ship, unscrewing the lid and sticking two fingers into the sweet, sticky goodness. His stomach growls as the flavours of sugar, preservatives and berries fill his mouth and he quickly plunges his fingers into the jar for another taste. "You're right," he says, sighing. "I need to let go."

He finishes the jar in a matter of seconds and, after licking his hand clean, reaches into his pocket to locate Rose's tee from their trip to Mysticorious. He wants to smell her one last time before locking her room up forever. However, as he rummages through his pocket, his fingers brush against something unexpected. Oh, the flowers. Wrapping his fingers around the pot, he first pulls out the sunflora and then the moonflora.

"Suppose I should plant these..." he mumbles, noticing the flowers are starting to look a bit worse for wear. His pockets are lined with a substance that is able to preserve organic things. It comes in handy more times than not, but the pots have been in there a little too long now.

He downs a large glass of water before slipping another jar of jam into his other pocket and walking to one of the gardens. The TARDIS helps him find a good spot for the flowers and he uses his bare hands to plant them.

"There!" he says, wiping his hands on his trousers.

"What the hell is going on?!"

The Doctor whips around lightening fast, eyes large and round. "_Mickey_? What the hell are you doing here?"

"What the hell _I'm_ doing?" Mickey asks, looking like a thundercloud, but then his eyes rove over the Doctor's form and something in his attitude softens. "You look like shit."

"Thanks."

"No, really. You look like _shit_."

"Yeah, well, I feel like it," the Doctor says, kicking at some mud.

"Where's Rose? Been looking for you two for a week, I have."

"It's been a _week_?"

"Yeah. Where is she, then?"

Finding his feet very interesting all of a sudden, the Doctor bends over and cleans some dirt off his plimsolls.

"Ha!" says Mickey and the Doctor stands up straight so fast his head spins. A sly smile spreads across the other man's face. "She left you, didn't she? I knew it! And what have you been doing? Moping around feeling sorry for yourself for a week?"

"Why are you still here?" the Doctor growls.

"Well, looks like you and Rose forgot all about me as usual, doesn't it?" Mickey says, giving him a sharp look. "Woke up, ready to tell you to take me home but I couldn't find you anywhere. Not Rose either. Waited in the console room two whole days, I did. Only left for food, the loo and sleep. After that, I tried to have some fun, so I've watched films, played video games and such. Rose doesn't pick up on her phone, either."

"She doesn't?"

"Nah. But I reckon she doesn't really want to talk to me right now. You know what she's like." Mickey walks up to him, looking towards the flowers and nodding at them. "So, what are those, then?"

"Oh, twin flowers from a planet we visited. These are sunfloras," he says, pointing at the yellow flowers. "They harness the sunlight, or artificial sunlight from now on, during the day and emit it at night so these," he says, pointing at the white flowers, "get to see the sunlight. They're moonfloras and only bloom at night. They collect dew for the sunfloras, who need a lot of moisture since they're so bright. They light up the dark like fireflies. Look." He gives the TARDIS a command to turn off the artificial sunlight and Mickey gasps as the moonfloras open up, dripping water on the ground and soaking up the yellow light flowing from their twin. "They need each other to survive. Rose...Rose said it was romantic."

"Huh," says Mickey. "Find it a bit sad, to be honest."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

The Doctor sighs, rubbing his scruffy jaw. "Suppose you have a point."

"Are those the flowers you used for the vaccine?"

"Yeah."

"Have you finished it yet?"

"Nope. Should really continue, come to think of it."

"Yeah you should, but... You know what you need?"

"No?"

"Some fun," says Mickey. "I've spent a week working on my Backside Rodeo flip and I want to challenge someone."

"Working on your _what_?" squeaks the Doctor.

"My Backside Rodeo flip. It's a snowboard trick from one of your games."

"It's a... Oh," the Doctor says, and then he starts laughing so hard he has to lean against the wall not to fall down. "It's a snowboard trick!"

"Yeah, didn't you know? Haven't you played your own games?" gasps Mickey, as though he couldn't think of anything more upsetting.

"No... I, ehm, well... That room is fairly new and my previous self was a reader and, well..." He pulls a little on his collar, clearing his throat. "Rose and I found other ways to spend our evenings."

Laughing, Mickey pats him on the back. "Yeah, I noticed. C'mon, then. Let's show you how it's done, eh?"

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Have you looked yourself in a mirror lately?"

"No..."

"You look pathetic," Mickey tells him, shaking his head. "I was angry, I was. Then I saw you looking like shit and I just... I just couldn't be angry anymore. I know what it's like to be left by Rose. Us blokes gotta stick together, eh?"

* * *

Mickey stays with him until the vaccine is finished and the Doctor doesn't understand why. Whenever he asks, Mickey just shrugs his shoulders and says something about it being the right thing to do. The other man might not be his favourite person in the universe, but it's nice having company during his breaks and Mickey follows his no-talk-about-Rose rule without question. The Doctor thanks him by taking him to a pleasure planet, but also makes certain Mickey understands this is a one trip deal and that he'll have to return to London in his correct time once they're done. Mickey gladly joins him and they spend a whole day riding on roller coasters, trying all kinds of alien treats and snacks, and walking through the haunted house. Mickey shrieks like a little kid in the haunted house and the Doctor laughs heartily at him. When the Doctor drops him off, they just shake hands and nod at each other but he promises he'll pick up if Mickey ever calls the TARDIS.

"Well, old girl," he says, caressing the console. "Suppose it's time to drop off the vaccine and then we can go back to normal. Just you and me, as it should be."

Queen Lah is ecstatic to see him and welcomes him like a hero. She insists on having breakfast with him, telling him he's lost too much weight lately and shows him to the garden. They sit down at the table, which is full of fruits, freshly baked bread and all kinds of jam. A couple of servants fill up their cups with wine and he notices they are not the gray skinned serfs from last time. These are levrakoons who are allowed to sit on stools instead of falling back into the shadows and he smiles as he remembers the Queen stating that she would treat her staff better.

"You were right, my friend," the Queen tells him.

"I usually am," he says, smiling.

"Oh, I very much doubt that." Shaking her head, she snorts at him and breaks off a piece of bread to dip in a bowl of purple goo. "You told us to name the disease and we have. We chose Tropplis' disease, or the tropp as it is called amongst the commoners. Fitting, no?"

The Doctor chuckles. "Bet he loves that."

"Yes, at least he will be apart of history this way," she says, smiling wistfully. "Everything has changed since we acknowledged the tropp as the disease it is. Sightings are being reported throughout the lands and the village medici are able to administer the cure as needed. The infected no longer belong in fairy tales told under the cover of night to keep children in line. It is real and we can fight it. We were fools, thinking it was something we could quench if we pretended it did not exist. You said so yourself, naming something makes it real and something real can be broken."

"...and something real can break you," he adds under his breath.

"Yes, that is true; however, in ignoring it we only made things worse. Had we faced the facts centuries ago, it never would have been able to get out of hand. There was a real lesson to be learned here and I have taken it to heart. My reign is changing and so is my realm." She leans forward, brow knitted and eyes locking onto his. "Have you?" she asks, softly.

"Have I what?"

"Learned your lesson."

"Oh," he says, leaning back in his chair and feeling immensely stupid. "I was too late."

"Ah. Yes, I did wonder where Rose was. She left you?"

"Yeah."

"I am truly sorry," she says, topping off his wine cup. "Forgive me, but I must ask. Did things not change after your last visit?"

"I... I mucked everything up," he says, running his hands over his face. "I panicked. Didn't know what to do."

"You surprise me. Surely, Doctor, at your age this cannot be the first time you ever loved!"

"Of course not," he mumbles.

Tilting her head to the side, she regards him for a moment before reaching out for his hand. "May I?"

"You've never asked for my permission before."

"True, but you are my friend now. May I?"

Nodding, he takes her hand in his. When Reinette walked into his mind, he was so shocked he staggered back but, had she asked, he would have welcomed the connection. He was offended and appalled at first, but there was no malice in her intent and it reminded him of how good it felt not to be alone. Queen Lah only ever stole glances, something he didn't really feel, and now he finds himself wanting another telepath to visit his mind and fill the void if only for a moment.

Breathing in deeply, Lah brushes her thumb over his wrist and this time he can feel her mind gently nudging the door open. Her way is different from his people; instead of carefully searching through memories, she only takes a sweeping look around before withdrawing but it feels good nonetheless.

"I never stay long," she explains. "In my realm it is considered very offensive to poke around in someone else's mind. I only ever take nuggets of information to help me, well, interrogate. Sometimes I use my persuasive touch as well, as you noticed last time, Doctor."

"Is this an interrogation?" he asks, smiling.

"Of course not! I aim to help. You are the greatest sorcerer I have ever met and you performed a miracle. The least I can do is help you through your heartbreak. However, I cannot help you unless I understand you. Please, Doctor, let me help. Tell me about her."

"Who? Who did you see?"

"I never see names, but I saw her, your first love. Brave, beautiful...blond. You have a type, it seems," she says, laughing. "Human, even."

"Mm," he hums, nodding. "She left me."

"Because you wouldn't give her more," she fills in.

"Because I _couldn't_," he clarifies. "She found someone else, someone who could-"

"You can," she interrupts. "If your relationship with Rose is anything to go by, you very much can."

"Yes, I obviously am able," he snarls. "But there are rules and taboos and-"

"Proper conduct?" she asks, chuckling. "Are you the kind of man who lets himself be ruled by that?"

"It wasn't even encouraged within our own species! Allowed, yes, but never with a human."

"Ah, I see. I did wonder why I could not see anything between you and the Time Lady."

"She loved me," he bites out.

"Yes, but she did not _desire_ you."

"Oh, I think she did. She was just better at suppressing it and she made me feel..." he trails off, shrugging helplessly and shaking his head.

"Wrong?"

"I know I wasn't the only Time Lord who, ehm, wanted...more."

"No, I noticed," she says, smirking.

He ignores her comment, since he doesn't feel like talking about the experimenting he did in his youth, and says, "You have to understand, it was... It was considered lowly, simple-minded, something for creatures driven by instinct instead of intelligence and-and rationality. That's one of the reasons I'm so drawn to humans. All that passion and love and... Now, though..." He sighs deeply. "Now I understand why they tried to breed it out of us. Why would anyone want to feel like this?" he asks, clutching his shirt over his hearts.

"That feeling, Doctor, is not wanted by anyone and you can put yourself out of your misery any time you want," she says, patting his hand. "Why obey rules and bow to norms of a society long gone? The only one hindering you is you, no?"

"Sorry?"

She lets out a string of guffaws and he can't help but pout and frown at her. "Oh, you blind fool. She loves you!"

"No," he says, shaking his head. "No, she made it perfectly clear she doesn't. And even if she did, how could I...? She's safe now, living the kind of life she's supposed to. The things she said..." He ducks his head in shame as he remembers all her accusations and how true they rang. "She's better off without me."

"How noble of you, sacrificing your happiness for her," the Queen says, but she sounds a little condescending so he quirks an eyebrow at her. "Oh, admit it, Doctor. You are just being a coward."

"Every time," he says, giving her a lopsided grin and raising his cup. "Well, thank you for the chat. It was lovely but I better be going. Worlds to save and all of that."

"One more thing. The dog," she says. "Your mind is full of a metal dog."

"Who? K9? Mickey?"

"I am unsure... I never see names."

"Well, I did just spend several days hanging out with Mickey the Idiot," he says, chuckling to himself over the image the TARDIS chose to alert him of the other man's presence on board.

"Have you spoken with him about this?"

"No."

"Perhaps you should, Doctor, perhaps you should," she says, nodding sagely.

"Yeah," he drawls, "the day Mickey the Idiot holds the answers to my happiness is the day I eat my plimsolls. Huh. I did eat a pair of shoes once, come to think of it. Terrible for the digestion," he says, rubbing his tummy and pulling a face. "The laces were a nightmare!"

"Very well," the Queen says, standing up and proffering her arm. "I will walk you to your travelling box." They pass the wall full of sunfloras climbing over the ground covered with moonfloras on their way out of the garden, so she halts and asks him, "Did you plant your flowers?"

"Yep. With my bare hands, even."

"Are they not romantic," she says, sighing and smiling.

"Rose said so," he says, voice cracking a little, "but I don't know... Isn't it sad? One can't live without the other."

"Oh, Doctor. You of all people should know that is far from the truth!" she says, leaning towards the wall and breathing in the sweet scent. "They can live without each other, but they work so much better together.

"It's not an obligate symbiosis," he realises, tugging a little at his ear as they resume walking. "I never focused on... Well, I only used the sunflora for the cure and the vaccine."

"Oh, I see. Well, the sunflora climbs higher as it is nourished by the dew given by its twin; the moonflora basks in the light and grows stronger and sturdier to stave off the chill of night. They do grow on their own in places throughout the realm but they thrive together."

"Yes, it's a beautiful symbiosis."

"Yes, it is," she says, holding out her arms for a hug. "'Till we meet again, dear friend."

* * *

Once back in the TARDIS, the Doctor leans by the console, staring into the time rotor and trying to find some enthusiasm over running towards the next adventure. It doesn't matter if Queen Lah was right or not. He has ruined Rose's life enough as it is and, even if she did love him once, she made it clear she wants nothing to do with him anymore. His eyes are drawn to the small lamp blinking to indicate he has messages on his answering machine. Oh, right. He never did listen to or delete those.

"Just...just delete them," he says to his time ship.

He pushes himself off the console with a sigh and starts to walk away, but he halts as the TARDIS ignores his command and lets Rose's voice fill the room.

"_Uhm, hello it's me... It's been three days and you're still not here. Uhm... Hope you listen to your messages."_ She lets out an insecure chuckle._"Please come soon. Mum's driving me spare and it's really hard sleeping without hearing the TARDIS. I miss her. And, uhm, yeah... See ya."_

He's spellbound by her voice, making him feel crestfallen as well as thrilled, and he can't help but stay and listen to all of her messages. She left several, sometimes even more than one per day, and his hearts ache in his chest when he realises what that week must have been like for her. He chastises himself inwardly for focusing so much on suppressing his own emotions that he ignored hers.

_"Doctor? S'me. Uhm...if you're not here by Monday, I'm gonna find Harriet Jones or UNIT or something and see if they can help me. Reckon there's gotta be some way of contacting you other than a phone you apparently won't use."_ She laughs breathily. _"So, just-just come get me, okay? I, uhm, I... Doctor, I_ miss_ you. I...uhm...bye."_

Oh. His chest feels strangely engorged as he hears the longing and sadness in her voice, but before he has time to ponder what it can mean another voice blares out of the speakers.

_"Hey, it's Mickey. Uhm. Yeah, dunno if you'll actually listen to these, but... Rose never came home to her mum," _he hears Mickey saying and it knocks the wind out of him. _"Dunno where she is. She's not picking up when I ring. S'been a couple of days since I came back. I covered for you so Jackie thinks she's with you still, so don't go to her. If you wanna help me find her, come to my flat, all right? Uhm. Hurry up, boss."_

The Doctor enters the coordinates before the message finishes playing and materialises in Mickey's flat in a matter of minutes.


	18. Hidden

Sarah Jane is sitting in her garden wearing her favourite dressing gown, nursing a cup of steaming hot tea. She is enjoying the morning sunshine on her face, the cool breeze blowing in her hair and the sounds of birds chirping happily in the background. It's going to be a beautiful summer day with clear blue skies and she would love to spend her entire morning in the garden, but she needs to get ready for an important appointment in a couple of hours. Last night, she was up late investigating a lead from one of her many sources, so this morning respite is a welcomed treat before she must begin her day. She's so relaxed she doesn't hear the doorbell ring until K9 comes outside to rouse her from her inner musings. She quickly sets down her cup and runs her fingers through her hair before rushing to the hall to open the door.

"Rose!" she exclaims, looking confusedly at the young woman before her. She has dark circles under her eyes and is lacking that warm, bright energy that makes her Rose. There's a large duffel bag at her feet and a familiar handbag is hanging over her shoulder. "What...?"

"I left him," Rose says, averting her eyes. "Can I stay with you for a couple of days?"

"You left him?" Sarah Jane asks and Rose nods. "Yes, yes, come in. Of course you can stay. Do you need a hand?"

"Nah, I'm all right," she says, lifting up the duffel bag from the ground. "Thanks."

"I was in the garden having a cup of tea. Would you like to join me? Maybe tell me what happened?" Sarah Jane suggests.

She's very surprised by the unexpected turn of events and wonders what could have driven someone as stubborn as Rose to leave the Doctor.

"'Kay...yeah. Thanks," Rose says, walking up to the kitchen counter. "I'll just..." After dropping her bags on the table, she gets a cup and starts preparing her tea.

"So, what...?" Sarah Jane prompts, once they are comfortably seated outside.

"Uhm," Rose says licking her lips. She draws in a deep breath, exhaling it slowly through her mouth and swirling the liquid around in her tea cup. "We landed on a spaceship thousands of years into the future. And, somehow, they had these time windows, yeah, leading to 18th century France. There were these homicidal droids stalking Madame de Pompadour. D'you know who she is?"

"I do."

"Yeah, well. The Doctor..." She sighs and wipes her forehead, tugging a little on the collar of her hoodie.

"It's a bit warm for a hoodie," Sarah Jane says

"I'm fine." She stops fidgeting immediately. "Just didn't know when he'd drop me off. What kind of weather. Wasn't this warm last time."

"Would you like something cooler to drink?"

"No. Uhm. I'll just keep going," she says, gesturing with her hand. "Anyway, the Doctor fell in love with her and he just... He didn't care what happened to me and Mickey. He left us repeatedly alone on the spaceship without any way of defending ourselves because he wanted to spend time with her. We almost died. He came and saved us at the last minute, yeah, but only after first mocking them and babbling whilst we were strapped to tables with knives to our throats."

"He did _what_?"

"Oh, I'm not done," Rose says, snorting. "There were so many solutions to the problem. I've thought up a few since then, I know Mickey did too, and you'd think that with his big Time Lord brain he'd come up with something better, but... To save her, he jumped through a window, on a horse, without any way of coming back. He left me and Mickey to just...wither away and die on a spaceship. He came back... Oh, I dunno how he did it, actually. He was back for one minute and then he ran to her again and was gone for hours and when he came back he was really sad. I think she died or something. Time ran faster on her side. Or slower? Dunno how to... Well, five minutes for us could be years for her."

"Well, she died fairly young," Sarah Jane helpfully says, trying to understand all the details. Rose is clearly too upset to tell the story in a way that makes sense, but Sarah Jane can tell it's better to just listen rather than ask questions.

"Yeah. Anyway... He came to m-" Rose shifts in her seat, clearing her throat. "We started fighting and I just... Was a long way coming, really. S'not been good between us since he changed. He's not the same man. He's not... It's not the first time he's been neglectful but this just... I've had it. I won't do it anymore and if Mickey had died because I was blind...?" She shudders despite the warm summer air and frowns, pursing her lips. "Could never live with myself if he'd... So I left."

"I'm...shocked! I'm sorry you had to go through that, Rose. It..." she trails off, not knowing what to say. It didn't sound like the man she knew and loved all those years ago.

"Yeah. Look. Can I just lie down for a while? I don't feel so well. I'm not trying to be rude or anything, I just... I need to lie down."

"Of course! The room is where you left it," Sarah Jane says, offering a smile.

"Thanks."

Watching the young woman leave, Sarah Jane tries to wrap her head around what she just heard. She knows it's the abridged version which makes it somewhat difficult to fully comprehend despite her mind trying to fill in the blanks. Admittedly, the Doctor can be absent-minded and reckless at times; however, she can't picture him being so nonchalant with his assistants, especially considering how much he seemed to care for Rose.

Remembering she hasn't changed the sheets since a relative visited the other day, Sarah Jane walks back into the house to fetch some clean linens before scurrying off to the guest room.

"Rose," she says, knocking on the door before immediately opening it. "I just-"

She sees Rose spin around, eyes wide and round as saucers, as she stands in front of a chair, laying her hoodie over the backrest. The cotton camisole she's wearing reveals how her chest, shoulders and back are covered with deep red marks.

"What...?" says Sarah Jane, rushing forward to take a better look, but Rose has already managed to get her hoodie back on. "Are you hurt?"

"S'nothing. Just a couple of bruises from the droids," she quickly says, but she hasn't pulled the zip up high enough. Standing close to Rose, Sarah Jane can clearly see what kind of marks they are.

"They're hickeys," she states, furrowing her brow. She's confused for a moment since it was obviously over between Rose and Mickey, but then it all falls into place: the Doctor coming out of the guest room in the middle of the night; the conversation in the kitchen about love; Rose not wanting Mickey to come along; the jealousy... "You... You and _the Doctor_?"

Rose stares at her for several heartbeats, bottom lip quivering and tears forming in her eyes, and then she gasps for air and chokes out a loud sob. "He used me," she cries. "He used me, Sarah Jane. He knew I loved him and he _used_ me." Tears are streaming down her face and her shoulders are shaking as she tries to form words. "All this time, he knew how I felt and he just... I thought he loved me but he left me to die. He left me. He _left_me. I miss him so much. I want him to change back! I want _my_ Doctor back."

"Oh, Rose," Sarah Jane breathes out, wrapping her arms around the young woman and feeling herself choke up.

"I can't breathe," Rose hisses, clutching at Sarah Jane's shirt. "It hurts. It hurts so much. I can't..."

"Shhhh," she says, caressing Rose's back. "Shhh. There you go. Shhh." She guides her to the bed, sitting down with her and rocking her back and forth as Rose continues to cry. "You're safe now. I've got you," Sarah Jane whispers, full of guilt from telling Rose some things are worth getting your heart broken, and silently vows to herself to do everything she can to help. "You can stay for as long as you like, sweetheart. I'll never let him hurt you again."

Sarah Jane isn't sure how long they sit together on the bed, but Rose's sobs eventually turn into whimpers before she finally falls asleep in her arms. Sarah Jane holds the young woman for a moment longer before easing her down on the bed and pulling a blanket over her. She has an important appointment she can't postpone or cancel so she dresses, writes Rose a note and rushes to her car. During the drive over to the coffee shop where she is supposed to meet her source, she goes through what she just learned but she can scarcely believe it. The man Rose described is not the Doctor who showed Sarah Jane the marvels of the universe. She can't help but worry about him, thinking something must have happened to make him act out this way.

It's difficult for her to focus during her interview once her source arrives and, when she arrives home half a day later, it continues to be at the forefront of her thoughts when she walks through the front door. She drops her purse and keys on a small table in the hall and steps into the kitchen to find Rose sitting at the table, scribbling in a notebook with her tongue poking out between her lips.

"Hello!" she says brightly, looking up from her notes.

"Hi," Sarah Jane says, knitting her brow in confusion. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. I've got an interview!"

"Beg your pardon?" Sarah Jane says, blinking owlishly at the young woman.

"For a job," Rose says, returning her attention to the paper.

"Well, that's...wonderful," Sarah Jane says, sitting down at the table and feeling like she missed something. "Are you sure you're ready for that?"

Rose looks up, meeting her eyes steadily. "Yes. I need to."

"Okay... Is that your resumé?"

"Yeah. Well. It's... It's not a nine to five job, exactly, so I'm just jotting down a few things. I, uhm, I used your computer in the study, hope that's okay?"

"Yes, of course."

"See, I used to work in a shop, yeah? And I'm not going back to that. But I can't really tell people what I've done the last couple of years, can I? So, I looked for something a bit less conventional. You're a reporter, have you ever heard of Bella Investigation?"

"Yes. It's an agency focusing on investigating the paranormal."

"Yeah, that's the one. Anyway, they're hiring and, if there's something I've learned travelling with the Doctor, it's that anything you think is paranormal is usually alien. Reckon I could do a good job."

"A very good job, I think," Sarah Jane says, laughing. "And you have an interview _already_?"

"Yeah, got the address and took a taxi earlier when I woke up from my kip. Thought going there in person and pestering them would be a good idea and I was right. Not many have the experience I have, yeah? Uhm, the taxi cost a bit but I still got a few quid, but... Well, I was always the one...paying for chips," she says, sounding hoarse. "So...I'm running out. But I'll have money soon, so I can pay you for stuff and-and rent until I can get a flat of my own."

"Don't worry about that, Rose. Just...focus on... Do just what you are doing now. This is terrific. I'm-I'm very impressed."

"I'm gonna live a fantastic life!" Rose chirps with a firm nod. "Rose Tyler, private investigator. Got a nice ring to it, don't you reckon?" she asks, grinning and Sarah Jane automatically grins back. "Well, I'm just gonna be an assistant if I get the job, which I will! But, I mean, I could be an investigator, right?"

"Oh, definitely. You'll have London cleaned up from aliens pretending to be ghosts in no time."

"Yep!"

"Have you eaten? I was planning on making something."

"Oh. No, I'm not hungry. Gonna go to bed," she says, standing up and backing away.

Sarah Jane looks at the clock hanging on the wall. "It's not even seven. Have you eaten at all today?"

"Yeah... I had...something earlier when I was out," Rose says, averting her eyes. "I'm knackered. And, uhm, got that interview tomorrow. Need my rest, yeah?"

"Let me at least make you a sandwich. You can eat it in your room, Rose. Please."

"'Kay," Rose says, sitting down again.

"Any preferences? Ham? Cheese?"

Rose shrugs. "Dunno."

"All right," Sarah Jane says, preparing a grilled ham and cheese and plating it with a handful of crisps.

"Thanks," Rose says, grabbing the plate and making her way out of the room.

"Wait! Rose, are you sure about this?" Sarah Jane asks, worried about the young woman. "You don't have to start working right away. I have plenty of room and you can pay me back later."

Rose stands still for a moment, facing the door, but then she turns around. "No, I _really_ have to, Sarah Jane. I can't... I _need_ to do this."

"Okay. Then I'll do anything I can to make it easier," she promises.

"Thank you," Rose whispers and, for a split second, Sarah Jane sees the heartbreak in her eyes. "Night."

"Good night," Sarah Jane replies, telling herself to keep a watchful eye on Rose and her mental state.

* * *

Rose feels bad for using her experiences with the Doctor, as well as his name, to get the interview but she reckons he owes her. The owner, Bella Young, has heard several stories about the time travelling alien and she's accustomed to paranormal phenomenon being more intricate than it can first appear to be. During her interview, Rose decides to share a few anecdotes from her adventures with the Doctor as well as her experiences working in a shop. The interview goes great: the other woman listens and nods emphatically as Rose talks; the chemistry is good and they have a witty rapport.

She returns to Sarah Jane's house feeling confident about the prospect of getting a job, but she still feels miserable about everything else. There is nothing left for her to do now except wait for them to call and it's driving her barmy. Her super phone has been turned off and hidden, along with her TARDIS key, inside her sock drawer because she can't stand the constant reminder. Thankfully, Sarah Jane has loaned her enough money to buy a new one, so Rose decides to scope out the neighbourhood on her way to the store, whilst her hostess is out working.

Her feet lead her to a park with a small duck pond surrounded by a couple of benches. They're all empty except one, where an old man is seated. He looks friendly, but there's something lonely about him so she decides to join him.

"Hello," she says. "Mind if I sit?"

He smiles, scooting a bit to the side to make room for her. "Not at all."

"Thanks. I'm Rose. Rose Tyler."

"Hello, Rose. I'm George. Bread crumbs?" he asks, holding out a bag. "Always feed the ducks, I do. Everyday for the past fifteen years."

"Every day, huh?"

"Come rain or shine."

"That's lovely," she says, throwing some bread on the ground.

"It sure is."

They sit in silence, feeding the ducks and enjoying the slight breeze and the warm sun. Rose doesn't leave until she gets hungry but, before leaving, she tells George she'll probably swing by the next day. When tomorrow arrives, she runs to the park after breakfast and continues to spend her time on the bench with George whilst waiting for the call from Bella Investigation. They never talk much and, if they do, it's mostly him sharing tidbits of his life. He's seventy two, a widower and his children live up North. He's a tad odd, but he doesn't seem to mind that she's quiet and he doesn't look at her with pity or concern. She quite likes that and it makes the waiting a little less nerve-racking.

It's now been four days since her interview and she's sitting in the kitchen with Sarah Jane eating dinner and drinking tea. It's nothing fancy, just meat and roast potatoes with gravy and vegetables, but she made it herself with only a little help from Sarah Jane. The carrots are slightly overcooked, the meat could use a another pinch of salt and the gravy is too thick, but the potatoes are perfect and she's rather proud of herself.

"Have you heard anything yet?"

"No," Rose replies, shrugging. "But must be more places like that, yeah?"

"Yes! Had I known you were looking to work right away I could've helped you. There's always Torchwood, for one."

"Torchwood? That's a weird coincidence. Stayed at a place once that was called Torchwood House. What's that, then?"

"Oh, it's a-"

They are interrupted by Rose's mobile ringing and her heart immediately starts racing in anticipation. She croaks out a 'This is Rose Tyler,' and almost jumps out of her chair when she hears Bella on the other end. Five minutes later, she places her mobile on the table and looks at Sarah Jane with a wide grin on her face.

"I got it!"

* * *

It's barely been an hour since Mickey called the Doctor when he hears the time ship materialise in his flat. The Time Lord steps out of his time ship the second it materialises and he immediately starts bombarding Mickey with questions.

"What happened?! Has she called you yet? What did Jackie say? Did you go to the police?"

"Whoa, hold up, boss," Mickey says, holding out his hands. "After you dropped me off, I went to Jackie. Asked her where Rose was and she told me she was with you, that you hadn't dropped by in weeks. So, I played along. Reckon it's better Jackie doesn't know anything until it's necessary."

"Oh, I agree," the Doctor says, rubbing his cheek. "Then what?"

"Well, wasn't gonna call you at first, considering...everything. But I've called all of her friends, checked with her old jobs. No one's seen her or heard from her. But I'm just a tin dog, eh? You'll find her."

"Just a tin... Oh, I'm thick!" the Doctor says, slapping his forehead. "K9! That's why the TARDIS showed me pictures of K9! Oh, she must've known all along. She didn't want to land on that spaceship, you know. Tried to distract me by turning off the lights, even," the Doctor says, blushing for some reason Mickey doesn't know. "Oh, you sneaky old girl," he continues, patting the blue walls fondly before twirling around and grabbing Mickey by the arms. "She's at Sarah Jane's!"

"Huh. Never thought of that. They didn't even get along!"

"What? Rose invited her along!" the Doctor says, holding the door and ushering Mickey inside.

"Oh," says Mickey, watching his feet scuff at the grating. "Forgot about that."

"C'mon, Mickey Smith! Fancy a trip to Ealing?" the Doctor asks, already punching in the coordinates. "Why didn't she show me images of Sarah, though?" He frowns. "Maybe she got confused. Trying to let me know both that and you being on board and... Well, mind you, I wasn't really...at the top of my game. But...all better now."

"You sure?" asks Mickey, a bit concerned.

Whilst spending a week forgotten on the TARDIS, he had the strangest dreams of the Time Lord losing his mind and going back in time to change all of his mistakes. Not much of it made sense to Mickey, since he didn't actually know what had been going on between the Doctor and Rose, but she has told Mickey enough about reapers and paradoxes for him to know how dangerous that would be. As soon as he found the Doctor in the garden and saw how distraught he looked, all dirty, scruffy and smelly in his rumpled suit, he suspected the time ship might be the one behind his dreams. Therefore, he thought it best to stay and make sure the Doctor didn't do anything insane. Mickey decides that is still the right approach, so he lets the Doctor do his thing and will only step in if he thinks it's necessary.

"It's been a little over a week since I dropped her off. If she's here... I don't... Well, ehm, let's just watch from afar, hm?" says the Doctor, as he lands the TARDIS a ten minute stroll from Sarah Jane's house.

"What? You wanna stalk your ex girlfriend? Kinda creepy, eh?"

"No! I just..." Sighing, he grabs his coat from one of the coral struts and puts it on. "If she's happy and doing all right... Well, I don't want to ruin things for her."

Mickey shakes his head at the daft alien. "If you say so."

"Maybe you should stay... You're not very," the Doctor says, squinting as he gives Mickey a quick once over, "agile."

"Well, don't usually stalk girls much," Mickey retorts, sniffing and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oi! Neither do I!"

"No? Stalked Reinette, didn't you? Betcha it wasn't the first time, either. Reckon you travel through time and space, looking for your next-"

"You, stay here. No wandering off!" the Doctor interrupts, pointing at Mickey and giving him a stern look before exiting his time ship.

* * *

The Doctor finds a perfect spot where he can discreetly watch the street Sarah Jane lives on with a pair of binoculars. Admittedly, it is rather inappropriate but Rose never wants to see him again and he's only making sure she's all right. He sits there for several hours before he sees someone blond walking down the street towards Sarah Jane's house. Grabbing his binoculars, he zooms in on the person and his stomach flip flops as he sees it's Rose. He notices her looking slightly different, as though she's not shining as brightly; however, the closer she gets to the house, the wider her smile grows and as soon as she's at the door she's full on beaming.

"That's curious," he mumbles.

It's been over a week since she came back and he assumes she's been with Sarah this whole time, but it doesn't make sense to him. Why hasn't she called her mother? Walking back to the TARDIS, he mulls over what he just witnessed. It's nearly seven in the evening. Where did she spend her day? Does she have a job already? No. He spent a week too depressed to do anything but stare and sleep after she left him, so imagining her already moving on with her life makes him feel horrible inside. She didn't look happy at first, though, so maybe she hates her job but likes being with Sarah Jane?

"Well?" Mickey prompts, when the Doctor returns to the console room.

"She's there, but... We better stay for a while. Just a few days. Didn't see enough to be sure. You know where everything's at. I need to do...stuff," the Doctor says, disappearing into the bowels of the ship.

It takes the Doctor a few days to figure out Rose's somewhat irregular schedule, so they make a few quick trips here and there whilst she's, presumably, at work. Sometimes, she arrives home really late and the Doctor can't help but wonder about her whereabouts, so he suggests they follow her to see what she is doing during the day. However, Mickey thinks it's inappropriate and makes him scrap the idea by threatening to walk up to Rose and tell on the Time Lord.

An entire week passes without the Doctor making any sort of attempt at leaving, and Mickey is honestly amazed that neither Rose nor Sarah Jane have heard the TARDIS materialise. The Doctor assures him that he knows how to land outside of earshot and that he is actively avoiding all the places he thinks the women might walk past.

"So, what are you looking for anyway?"

"Hm?"

"It's been a week, yeah? Reckon you should either approach her or just, you know, _move on_, mate," Mickey says, giving him a pointed look. "Hiding behind trees and watching a young woman might be okay on your planet, but on Earth we lock you up for doing that, all right?"

"Oh, well," the Doctor replies, rubbing his neck. "Just not convinced she's happy. It's always the same thing. She looks sad and then as soon as she reaches the house she's smiling. Just doesn't sit right."

"Maybe not," Mickey agrees. "But it's only been two weeks for her, right? Maybe you should use this time machine of yours and skip ahead a couple of weeks, eh?"

The Doctor runs his hands over his face before replying, "Maybe I should just...move on. Just let her..." He shrugs. "I need a moment."

He wanders, without conscious thought, into the bowels of his ship until he finds himself in front of the lattice where he planted the Mysticorian flowers. The bulbous buds of the moonflora are already covering most of the flowerbed and the more delicate sunflora has climbed several feet, overlooking its twin and stretching its petals in the direction of the artificial sun. The Doctor sits down on his haunches, poking a little at one of the round white flowers on the ground.

"Are you really making each other better or are you just co-dependent? The only reason why the sunflora's roots need more water is because she's bathing you in light, you know," he tells it. "Isn't that selfish of you, hm? Making her burn so bright just because you can't stand living in the dark." He nips it off with his finger nails, holding it up to his face and squinting as he inspects it more closely. "Rude little bugger, you are. Although...not ginger. Tsk tsk tsk."

"Don't think you'll get much of a reply, mate," Mickey says from behind him.

"Didn't I say I needed a moment?" the Doctor asks irately, standing up but not turning around.

"Yeah, you did." Mickey walks up to him, putting his hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you just tell her you're sorry? Skip ahead a couple of weeks, give her some time to cool off, yeah? Then go get her."

The Doctor ducks his head and swallows, standing silent for a long moment before asking, "What if she doesn't forgive me?"

"You'll never know if you keep talking to flowers instead of her."

The Doctor lets out a chuckle, shaking his head and patting the other man on the back. "Mickey the Idiot..."

* * *

Rose is always smiling. It doesn't matter if she has just come home after a long day at work, where she mostly handles files, answers the phone and gets coffee from the shop at the corner, or if she's just at home with Sarah Jane. She's polite and nice; she helps out around the house and in the garden; and she learns how to cook and bake. Everything is just so _fine_. Too fine. It terrifies Sarah Jane and she doesn't know what to do about it. Between their jobs they actually don't spend a lot of time together. Unless Bella brings Rose along on stakeouts and she comes home in the middle of the night, Rose always goes to bed early and she spends her free time in the park with an old man she has befriended. Sarah Jane continuously tries to bring up Rose's relationship with the Doctor, but Rose always ducks her questions and when she asks if Rose has called her mother yet, she always has some excuse as to why she hasn't.

Two weeks after Rose showed up on her doorstep, Sarah Jane decides it's time to confront her young friend. Giving her space and letting her open up in her own time is obviously not working. She prepares tea and invites Rose to join her out in the garden. She hesitates at first, but Sarah Jane insists and gets her way. It's already a bit dark and cool out, so she lights a few lanterns and brings a couple of blankets as well as the tray with tea and biscuits.

"How was work today?" she asks, wrapping her fingers around the cup and lifting it to her lips to blow at the hot liquid.

"Great. I'm still mostly doing stuff in the office, but I don't think it will take too long for me to do some actual investigating. Gone on a few stakeouts now and I helped chase down this man they thought was an alien. Turns out it was just a skin disease. Poor bloke almost had a heart attack!"

"Oh," Sarah Jane says, crinkling her nose. "That must have been terrible for him. Does that happen a lot?"

"Yeah, actually she told me it does." She's quiet for a minute, leaning towards the table and eying the biscuits before choosing one with chocolate filling. "Funny thing, though," she says, voice a bit thick. "The-the TARDIS still translates stuff for me. Isn't that weird? Noticed when we spoke to this woman who only knew Chinese. I heard English, yeah, so I got to be a translator. Bella was so impressed!" she says, laughing and wiping the crumbs off her fingers against her jeans.

"Yes, that is strange..." Sarah Jane says, knitting her brow. "Strange but fortunate."

"Yeah. If she keeps that up I-" Rose immediately shuts up, chewing on her thumb nail instead.

It's not the first time she has accidentally mentioned her old life and stopped herself with that nervous habit, but this time Sarah Jane won't let it slide.

"It's okay to talk about it, you know? I'd be happy to listen."

"Thanks, but I don't need-"

"Rose. All you ever do is work, sleep, do chores or sit on a bench with George. When you showed up on my doorstep I assumed you sought me out because I was the only person you knew who would understand. But now it seems you chose to come here because I, unlike your mother, would let you be. Am I wrong?"

Rose shrugs, staring at her fingers as she twirls her rings.

"Why won't you contact your mother? Don't you think she's worried about you by now?"

Rose draws in a deep breath, shifting a little in the lawn chair and licking her lips. "Last time I visited mum, she told me this would happen. I can't..." She swallows and clears her throat. "Got a job now, I do. Once I've got a flat, too, I'll ring her, yeah? My mum's great but she can be so..." Rose groans, waving her hands in the air. "And she didn't know all the details and if she found out... I can't face her right now, all right? I just...I just can't."

"Rose," Sarah Jane says gently, "what happened?"

"I told you. He used me. I was stupid and thought he'd realise he loved me too and that everything would be great. Reckoned he only needed some time. But...well...I got it wrong, all right?" she says, pouting slightly and slouching in her chair.

"No, it's not all right. How are you supposed to move on if you refuse to talk about it?" Sarah Jane asks, and Rose ducks her head, cheeks furiously red. "Rose, what happened?" she continues, even more softly now.

"I was stupid. Really, really stupid. That's what happened. I was a right moron. It's just... He was so sweet during the day, yeah? I really thought he cared about me. I thought I was special. Yeah, I know. Naive little shop girl daft enough to think someone like him would ever love her. Pathetic," she spits out, gritting her teeth.

"What do you mean?" Sarah Jane wonders, but Rose just shakes her head and folds her arms over her chest. "I promise I won't judge you. Please, just talk to me. All I want is to help you."

Rose worries her lip, seemingly mulling it over, so Sarah Jane leans back in her chair and waits. It's a lovely summer evening and she closes her eyes, taking in the crisp air and listening to the calming sounds around her of wind rustling branches, chirping insects and the faint hum of traffic. If she's completely honest with herself, she is nervous about what went on between Rose and the Doctor because, by filling in the blanks, she has thought up some pretty gruesome scenarios. There must at least have been a dozen hickeys and bitemarks on the young woman's body and she can't understand what would compel the Doctor, of all people, to do something like that. Sarah Jane is so deep in thought that, once Rose starts to speak, she almost startles; however, thinking it will make it easier for her friend, she stays leaned back with her eyes closed.

"It started out of the blue, but...I suppose it wasn't, really. He was so physical after his regeneration. Always touching me, always flirting. And then one day he just..." she trails off, so Sarah Jane opens her eyes and sees Rose gesturing vaguely. "And after that it kept happening. Always in the dark or where I couldn't see his face. He never spoke, only in-in Gallifreyan, and we never talked about it. Never," she says and Sarah Jane has to concentrate not to show how surprised she is over what Rose is sharing with her.

"During the days we pretended like nothing happened. And-" Rose draws in a shuddering breath before continuing, "and we never kissed. Still haven't. He mostly just...took me from behind. Oh, god," she says, choking on the last word.

She stares into one of the lanterns, eyes watery and quivering breaths coming out rapidly through parted lips.

"I..." she says, lifting up her shoulders and holding out her hands, face painted with disbelief. "Listen to me! What's-what's _wrong_ with me? Why did I let him do that to me?" Tears spill out of her eyes and she wipes her nose with her sleeve. "Just...hearing it out loud. God. I'm-I'm-"

"You're in love with him," Sarah Jane interrupts her and Rose starts, eyes snapping to hers. "Sometimes love makes us give and give without realising how much it costs. You thought that if you only loved him enough..."

"I liked it," she hisses, staring at the lantern again. "No, I _loved_ it. I got off on it. Never knowing when it was gonna happen...him always in control. Could be standing in the galley making some tea, when all of a sudden the lights would go out and I'd feel his hands on my hips. Tugging my shorts and knickers off, spreading my legs and just... Best sex I've ever had," she says, eyes glazing over slightly. "The things he can do with his tongue! Knew it was a bad idea from the start, but I didn't want to stop him. Felt too good."

Sarah Jane blushes, hiding her face behind her tea cup. Well, she did ask for it but she wasn't prepared for quite as many details. This isn't the type of conversation she usually has with her friends but, she supposes, this is how young people talk nowadays.

"And I was happy. I really was. Never been more happy, actually. Best mates during the day, shagging like the world was gonna end during the nights. So what if he wouldn't change? I could live with that. Was hoping he would, yeah, but... Was good enough for me, 'cause it was still the best relationship I've ever had." Rose chuckles self deprecatingly. "See. Was my own bloody fault. He never made any promises."

"Rose, you are twenty," Sarah Jane says, putting down her teacup and leaning over the table to get closer. "He's close to a thousand. He should know better than to take advantage of a young woman. Besides, what he did to you and Mickey on that spaceship is inexcusable! I don't care how in love he was with Madame de Pompadour, if he ever shows his face here again I'll-I'll-" She frowns, trying to find the right words.

"Rip him a new one?" Rose suggests, smirking through her tears.

"Well, yes! That's what I will do!" Sarah Jane agrees, pointing at her friend and nodding.

"You know what? I'd love to see that."

Sarah Jane leans back again, shaking her head and sighing. "Still... I can scarcely believe it! The Doctor doing this? It's unfathomable. What did he have to say for himself when you confronted him?"

"Uhm..." Rose says, face slack and cheeks tinted pink. "Dunno, really. I mostly yelled at him and then I told him I wanted to go home. Never really let him explain anything."

Sarah Jane's eyebrows shoot up. "Oh. So...you still don't know what compelled him to initiate this with you in the first place?"

"Uhm... Ahem. Well..."

"Well?"

"God," she groans, hiding her mascara streaked face in her hands. "We only talked about what happened on the spaceship. Was just so angry and-and _hurt_. He came to my room for a shag and I just exploded!"

"He did _what_?! After all that happened?"

"Yes! Couldn't think clearly. Was so done with all of it. Tired of being used and manipulated and-and ignored. Just had to get away," she explains, fidgeting with her earring. "Was like everything I thought I knew was a big fat lie, yeah? Felt like...dunno. Was more earth shattering than knowing aliens were real, to be honest."

"So, you didn't talk at all about your relationship?"

"Well... I don't... Ugh, lemme think," Rose says, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply. "Oh," she says after a couple of minutes, chuckling. "God, I'm so stupid," she states, now closer to crying than laughing. "He acted like a bloke trying to convince his girlfriend he hadn't cheated! But I just wouldn't listen, 'cause I'm a stubborn idiot! I thought it was just his ego and possessiveness, but... What if he does love me? What if I was right all along and he just needed to get it through his thick Time Lord skull!?"

Sarah Jane sighs, trying her hardest not to pinch the bridge of her nose and show Rose just how exasperated she feels about everything she's just heard. "Sounds to me as though the two of you could use a proper chat, wouldn't you agree?"

Rose lets out a guffaw, wiping the tears off her cheeks. "Yeah. Sure. Just one problem, though. He said that if I walked out those doors I'd never see him again. He wouldn't come visit or pick up if I rang." She lets out a frustrated noise. "I've mucked it all up, haven't I?"

"Well..."

"Either way, would it matter?" Rose asks. "He still left us to die. Repeatedly! That's what I focused on. Wouldn't give him the satisfaction of admitting how I feel about him. His head is big as it is," she snarls.

Sarah Jane nods slowly, pouring some more tea into her cup and thinking that the Doctor might be nine hundred years Rose's senior, but the two lovers are most certainly the same age emotionally.

"So, do I understand this correctly when I say that you had a row and you left him before actually finding out what he thought of your relationship and why he acted the way he did?"

Rose stares at her for several seconds and then rests her arms on the table, planting her head firmly on top of them and sobbing.

"Ah."

* * *

**A/N:** _I've never seen SJA so I have no idea how Sarah Jane's life is portrayed. So, I've made assumptions and please just go with it. It's really not important either way since this is about D&R._


	19. Hello

**Note**: _if some of the dialog in a specific scene sounds very familiar, I assure you it is definitely deliberate. ^^_

* * *

Sarah Jane decides it's best to go to bed and get some rest after Rose breaks down sobbing. It's apparent to her that the young woman is emotionally as well as physically exhausted and she vows to take a more direct approach from here on out. She feels responsible for encouraging her to stay with the Doctor even though she knows it's not really her fault. She decides to help Rose get back up on her feet.

"How are you feeling today, Rose?" she asks over breakfast in the garden. It was raining all night so it's a bit cold out, but the air is invigorating and the smell of flowers and wet dirt is refreshing.

"Dunno." Rose shrugs. "Do you think I made a mistake?"

"What do _you_ think?"

Rose inhales deeply and exhales loudly, staring into open space. "I think I should've just told him to get out of my room and that we would talk in the morning, 'cause I think it would help me get closure, yeah? I've got so many questions, Sarah Jane, and I'll never get an answer to them. So it's hard. It's hard to move on and not think about it all the time. Trying to interpret every little thing he said and did and... Ugh." She sighs, shaking her head. "The thing is, though, it wasn't the first time he was neglectful. Before he changed he always made sure I was safe but... I think..." She chews on her bottom lip for a moment. "Well, I think I keep focusing on him and Reinette whilst I should focus on him putting us in danger. And that makes me angry with myself. Mickey even had to remind me and I've been wondering if I just had gotten used to it or something. And that makes me even more angry."

She takes a few sips of her tea and a couple of bites of her buttered toast before continuing, "I think I did the right thing. If I had stayed, I'm not sure anything would've changed. Everything was always on his conditions and I let it be like that 'cause I thought he just needed time. But for every step forward we slid three steps back. Yeah." She nods to herself. "I had to get out before I lost myself. Sometimes I think... Yeah, sometimes I think if he'd said anything indicating that he wanted more I'd forgiven him for all of it. And that properly scares me. So yeah. I did the right thing."

"Yes, I agree. It seems to me as though some time apart is just what you two need."

Rose pouts. "Some time? Forever, more like it."

Sarah Jane smiles since she suspects the Doctor will eventually come looking for Rose. The fact that the TARDIS keeps translating everything for the young woman tells Sarah Jane that things are far from over but, in case she is wrong, it's something she'll keep to herself. She has entertained the thought of calling the Doctor because she can't help but worry about him. She is very upset by how irresponsibly he has treated his young companion, but she still wants to make sure he is all right. However, Rose refuses to give her his number until she's found her own flat and Sarah Jane has no other way of contacting him.

Time moves forward as does Rose as far as Sarah Jane can tell. The young woman still spends a lot of time with her friend George, sitting on a bench in the park and feeding ducks, but she also unwinds with Sarah Jane in the living room or garden after work. Rose has always smiled a lot, but Sarah Jane knows the smiles have been plastered on as soon as her friend has reached the house. Although, they're now looking more genuine with each passing day. She also doesn't hear Rose crying as often at night and her appetite is better.

Rose continues to bury herself with work and, even though Sarah Jane was worried by that at first, she now thinks it's a good thing. The blonde is clearly good at what she does and her employer seems to be relying on her more. The effect this has on Rose is palpable. It never seemed as though she was lacking in the confidence department; however, being really good at what you do and having it acknowledged by others often gives a person self-assurance. Luckily, that is something Sarah Jane now sees growing in Rose.

The only thing that really concerns her is the fact that Rose still avoids calling her mother, Mickey or any of her old friends and, since everything else is going so well, Sarah Jane decides to bring it up over Saturday brunch.

"Are you meeting George today?"

"Yeah, 'course. Just gonna finish eating and do the dishes."

"Don't you want to spend some time with your friends? Someone your own age?"

"No. I like George. It's nice to just sit. He doesn't mind me being quiet so I just listen to him, yeah? He's not really the chatty type either, I suppose, but he tells me things sometimes. How he met his wife, funny stories from his childhood and his teens. He was wild!" Rose laughs. "But mostly we just sit and it's...lovely. Just a way to relax, yeah? And he's so lonely. Doesn't have anyone," she mumbles, looking morose for a moment. "And soon I'll find a flat and not be here anymore. I'll leave him, just like everybody else in his life. How can I do that? Just leave him? All alone when he needs me." Rose looks up at her, brow knitted and eyes teary. "Was I wrong, Sarah Jane? I just left him! When he _needs_ me. What if something's wrong? What if something happened that made him... Dunno. I just left him. He looked so sad and I didn't even ask him how he was feeling!"

"Oh, Rose." Taking her hand, Sarah Jane squeezes it comfortingly. "The Doctor's well being is not your responsibility. From what you have told me, I don't think your relationship was very healthy and we both know leaving him was the right thing to do, don't we?"

"Yeah. S'just... Sometimes I feel so bad about it. I was all he had and I just left him. What if he's not all right?" she says, brushing a few stubborn tears off her cheeks. "I didn't even try to help him!"

"Are you sure you don't want to call him? Just to see how he is."

"He won't answer anyway," she mumbles, rubbing her eyes.

"Well, he doesn't recognise my number, does he?" Sarah Jane smiles.

"No. I'll-I'll start looking for a flat soon and then I'll give you the number, yeah? I know what he's like when... Let's just say I'm pretty sure he'd pretend I didn't exist if we met again and I can't stand that, all right?"

"If you want. But, Rose, you don't have to find a flat so soon. I like having you here."

"I'm grateful, Sarah Jane, I really am. Don't know what I would've done without you, but it's been over a month. It's time, yeah? Think as long as I stay here I pretend it's just temporary but it's not, is it?" She ducks her head, blushing deep pink. "A part of me thought that maybe he'd come after me," she confesses quietly. "But he won't. It's time for me to move on."

* * *

By the time Rose has finished with the dishes, the sky has turned gray but, since she really wants to at least say hi to George, she grabs a hoodie and runs to the park. She's been working a lot this week and hasn't seen him in three days, so she hopes the bad weather hasn't stopped him from coming out. Luckily, she finds him sitting on their usual bench, eating an ice cream cone.

"Bit cold for that, innit?" Grinning at him, Rose sits down beside him.

George chuckles. "Oh, I'm too old to let something like that stop me, love. If I want an ice cream cone, I eat an ice cream cone." He finishes up and wipes his mouth with one of the paper napkins he was keeping in his lap. "Thought you wouldn't make it today."

"Was having brunch with Sarah Jane."

"Sounds lovely." He leans a tad closer. "You know, my son's coming to visit tomorrow. Rang me this morning, he did. Bit of a short notice but I'm not complaining."

"About time!" Rose says, knowing they don't see each other often.

"About blooming time, I reckon." George winks at her.

"I'm really happy for you."

They sit in companionable silence for a moment which has become their habit over the last month. It's nice having a carefree friendship and it's something she really has been missing since she left the Doctor. Their travels might mostly have included trouble in one way or another, but they also spent countless hours outdoors, taking in the breathtaking beauty of one new planet after the other.

"Who did you lose?" George asks, bringing her out of her musings.

"What do you mean?"

"You've come here several days per week, just sitting with a boring old man watching a boring old pond. At your age! You're a sweet girl, love, but not that sweet." He turns to her, soft look in his brown eyes. "Who did you lose?"

"My, uhm, my...bloke. He's not...he's missing."

"I'm so sorry. Is it recent?"

"Yeah, just about a month ago. Few days before I met you. It's...hard. It's really hard. We used to sit, just like this, and just..." She draws in a ragged breath. "You know?"

"Mm." He nods. "Was like that with me and Liz as well. You know you've found the one when you can be boring together, don't you?"

Rose smiles. "Yeah. Was never boring, though."

"No, I imagine it wasn't. Did you live together, then?"

"Yeah. We lived together and-and worked together for, uhm... Oh, dunno, a year and a half, maybe? Might have been longer. So he was always there. Always with me. So whenever something happens, yeah, I turn around to tell him, but he's not there. Got a new job and everything and I know he'd be so proud of me... But he'll never know. D'you know what the worst part is, though?" A lump forms in her throat and it's getting harder to breathe so, gripping the edge of the bench, she tries to calm down a little before continuing, "I have no idea if he's safe! What if he's hurt or what if he's re- changed. Or worse. I'll never even know!" She sobs. "It's so hard to move on when I know he's out there, somewhere, all alone and..." She shrugs, holding out her hands and feeling helpless.

"It's only been a month, love." George comforts her, patting her arm and giving her one of his paper napkins. "They might find him. Some people go missing for a whole year and still turn up!"

"Yeah, tell me about it." She laughs through her tears before blowing her nose. "Don't think he will, though. He's...he's this powerful man and he's got...enemies," she says, cringing a little at how ridiculous it sounds even though it's true. "We had a fight about it the day before he... I was so angry with him! So now his last memory of me is me being upset and mine is him just walking away. But I'm not angry anymore. With myself, yeah, but not with him. I'm just...I just feel sad. I'd listen, this time, to what he wanted to tell me and I want him to know that..." She breathes out deeply. "There's so much I never got to tell him."

"He knows you love him. And if life is tough for him, that's what he'll remember. The good days, not the fights."

"You think so?"

"Oh, I know so. You remember the good. Oh!" He looks up at the sky. "That's English summer for you, love."

Rose looks up automatically, feeling a couple of raindrops splash down on her face and a few seconds later the sky opens up and it starts pouring down.

"Well, that's our cue, innit?" George smiles at her. "Won't be here tomorrow but see you Monday, Rose."

"Yeah, see you. Have fun with your family!" she says before they run off in separate directions.

* * *

The Doctor and Mickey have skipped ahead a couple of weeks and landed the TARDIS in their usual spot so the Doctor can go visit Sarah Jane...and Rose. The Doctor feels uncharacteristically nervous and doesn't quite know what to do with all the energy bubbling up inside him. He bounces around the console, pretending to check this and stabilise that, but Mickey isn't buying it.

"So..." Mickey taps his foot. "Gonna wait long?"

"No, no. I'm, er, well..." The Doctor clears his throat. "All done, now. Yep. Was just fixing this...thing. Very complicated, you see." He makes a dismissive hand gesture. "You wouldn't understand."

"Oh, my god. You're scared of Sarah Jane! Think she's gonna tell you off for being a knobhead, eh?" Mickey says, giggling and pointing at him.

"No! It's just a very sensitive time ship," the Doctor insists, stroking the console lovingly. "She needs...er...a gentle...touch?" he says, mind not working quite as brilliantly as usual.

"Oh, really?" Mickey crosses his arms over his chest, looking amusedly at the Time Lord. "You're not just a coward, then? Do you want me to do it for you? I can go ask her if Rose is allowed to come out and play, if you want." Mickey sniggers.

"No! No, no, no. You are not going anywhere and mucking things up. You are waiting right here. And no-"

"No wandering off. Yeah, yeah. Got it, boss. Wouldn't wanna get lost in London, now, would I?" Mickey rolls his eyes. "Good luck, then."

"Ehm, yeah, thanks," the Doctor says with a curt nod, grabbing his coat and heading out.

The sky is gray and the air smells like rain so he makes good use of his long legs by walking quickly to Sarah Jane's house. He bounces on the balls of his feet after ringing the doorbell, looking everywhere but at the door as he waits for someone to open it.

"Oh," Sarah Jane says, blinking at him as she stands in the doorway.

"Hello, Sarah. Ehm..." He tugs at his ear. "Is...er..."

"She's out."

Ducking his head, he shoves his hands into his pockets. "Oh. Right. Out."

"Would you like to come in?"

He looks up at her, eyebrows raised. "Hm? Yes! Thank you."

"So, how have you been?"

"Oh, I'm always all right." He walks around in her kitchen, looking at different knick knacks and finding her spice cabinet. Opening a few jars, he sniffs their contents as he exchanges pleasantries with his old friend and he can tell she is quickly losing her patience.

"Doctor, sit." She holds out a chair. "You're making me feel quite stressed, flying about the place like this."

"Sorry," he says, complying. "So...?"

"I want you to know that Rose has told me...a lot."

Her words make his stomach feel like a lump of lead. "Right."

"Tea?"

"Weeell...what?"

"Would you like some tea?"

"Yeah..." He eyes her suspiciously whilst waiting for the scolding to commence.

However, Sarah Jane stays silent until she has finished preparing their tea and setting the table with their cups and a few scones.

She sits down in the chair opposite him. "You've changed.

"Yeah, I have."

"To be quite honest, I find it all a bit hard to believe. Is it because you lost your people?" she asks, knitting her brow.

"I didn't lose them, Sarah. I...I killed them," he says and she hides a gasp behind her hand. "It was the only way to stop the Daleks."

"No..." She shakes her head. "You poor thing!" She gets up from her chair and offers him a hug.

He gladly accepts, relieved that she accepts his words instead of questioning him and asking for details. This is the first affectionate physical contact he's had with anyone since Rose left, besides a few pats on the back by Mickey, and it feels really good. He might have realised Rose is the only person he's currently sexually attracted to, but this body still revels in physical sensations and need that friendly tenderness. He snuggles his head into her hair, letting her comfort him for a moment before pulling back. She holds his hand in both of hers and sits down beside him instead of going back to her seat.

"Sarah, how...how is she doing?"

"She has a job and she's doing well, it seems. She's talking about finding a flat."

"Oh...so you don't think she'd want to..."

"Come back?" she fills in when he doesn't finish his sentence. "Is that why you are here?"

"Weeeell..." He scratches one of his sideburns. "Yeah. Suppose I am. Rose was the first person I...connected with, after... Well, we met shortly after I regenerated and I..." he trails off, shrugging as he can't quite put into words what she means to him.

"I can't even begin to imagine what the loss of your people must have been like for you, but... Doctor, you can't use a twenty year old girl as your security blanket. It's not fair on her."

"That's not..." he says, frowning and shaking his head. "I was all alone and everything felt so...empty. But then I met her and she's so bright, Sarah. So alive. She gave me hope." He's quiet for a few heartbeats, looking at their joined hands. "I...I hated myself, Sarah Jane, but she made me feel..." He lets out an amused sound through his nose, face breaking out in a crooked smile. "Fantastic."

"You're in love with her." Sarah Jane both looks and sounds as though she's certain of the fact, but he neither denies nor confirms it. "Oh Doctor, you can't keep treating her-"

"I know," he interrupts, pulling back his hand and grabbing his teacup instead. "And I won't."

The thrumming sound of rain hitting the roof fills the room and Sarah Jane looks out the window. "Don't think she'll stay out in this weather. She should be home soon." She turns back towards him and locks her eyes onto his. "I'm sorry, but I don't trust you-either of you-to be mature about this. I feel ridiculous saying this to someone as old as yourself but I want to be in the room when you talk. Rose has been with me for a month, now, and I do feel responsible for her. You understand, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Do you accept?"

Before he has time to give her a reply, they hear the door being unlocked. His hands fly instinctively to his hair, making sure his locks are styled right, and then to his tie and suit jacket to correct the fit and smooth out any wrinkles. He swallows and licks his lips but his mouth still feels dry, so he decides to down the rest of his tea in two large gulps. He can tell Sarah Jane is watching him amusedly but, right now, all he cares about is Rose coming into the house.

* * *

Rose shoves her keys into her pocket as she kicks off her muddy shoes, shrugs off her hoodie and hangs it up on the coatrack in Sarah Jane's hall.

"Hello? You still home?"

"Yes, in the kitchen," Sarah Jane replies, so Rose heads there right away.

"It's really pouring outsi-" She halts, jaw dropping as she sees the Doctor quickly standing up by the kitchen table. They stare at each other for several seconds and her heart is beating so fiercely she feels it all the way up in her throat. Had it not rained, she would have stayed in the park for a couple of hours more. Does he know that? Did he make sure to visit Sarah Jane when he knew she wouldn't be there? It's all too much and she can't stand it. She has to get away. "Uhm...didn't know you had company. I'm...I'll leave you to it, then," she mumbles before darting out of the kitchen.

"Rose!" the Doctor calls out, stopping her dead in her tracks.

"Yeah?"

"Can you come in here, please?"

"Just a second." She leans against the wall as she tries to get her shallow breaths and racing heart under control. Walking back to the kitchen on somewhat wobbly legs, she decides to stand up instead of sitting at the table since she wants to be able to leave quickly if she feels too uncomfortable. "What-what is it?" She fidgets with the hem of her top, eyes flitting around the room.

He walks closer but stops a few feet in front of her. "Hello."

"Hello." They regard each other for a moment. "Still got Mickey, then?" she asks, because she can't think of anything else to say.

"Yeah. He's back at the TARDIS."

"Really? You're travelling with him?"

"Weeeell. Now and again. Dropping him off after this, actually."

"How long's it been?"

"About as long as for you."

"Oh."

"...and what about you? Are you...?"

"Yeah, I'm back working in the shop," she lies, wanting to see his reaction and to see if he falls for it. She could never go back to that sort of life despite not having her A levels or not being the most accomplished woman who ever lived.

"Oh." He nods. "Good for you."

He does look a bit surprised and is clearly just making sure she doesn't feel bad about not living that fantastic life she promised she would, so she laughs at him. "Shut up. No, I'm not. I'm the assistant to a paranormal investigator," she tells him, feeling smug as his eyes widen. "It's mostly groundskeepers in rubber masks, yeah, but we've come across the occasional alien."

His face breaks out in a proud smile and it makes her feel all warm inside. "Rose Tyler. Defending the streets of London."

She can't help but smile back but she still keeps her guard up since she's not sure what he wants. It's almost like old times, but not quite, and that keeps her on edge. "So, what are you gonna do now?"

"Oh, I've got the TARDIS. Same old life. Last of the Time Lords."

She swallows, debating with herself inwardly if she should ask what she wants to know: has he replaced her? Will he replace her? Just because Mickey has stayed doesn't mean he hasn't picked up anyone else. He's always been good at lying by omission.

"On your own?" she asks, barely meeting his eye.

He nods and it makes her feel both relieved and really sad. He shouldn't be on his own; however, before she's had a chance to comment on it, he opens his mouth. "Unless..."

"Yeah?"

His Adam's apple bobs and his mouth open and closes a few times before he says, "Unless... I don't know... You could come with me?"

She draws in a ragged breath, feeling tears prickle behind her eyelids. "I thought...you said you didn't..."

"I know but... Seem to be breaking a lot of my rules for you, hm?" He gives her such a tender look she can't control her emotions any longer.

A couple of tears spill over and roll down her cheek as she tries not to sob. "You b-" Her voice breaks but she needs to tell him just how much his actions hurt her. She can't join him and spend day after day by his side without him knowing, so she takes a moment to collect herself before finishing her sentence. "You-you broke my heart."

"Oh, Rose..." He looks crestfallen and as though he could break into tears any minute himself. "I never... It's the last thing I would ever..." He takes a step forward, reaching out to cup her cheek but stopping before he touches her skin. She gives her consent by nodding her head and closes her eyes as she feels him gently caress her face. "I'm sorry, Rose. I'm so, so sorry."

"I can't... Doctor, I can't do that again."

"Oh... Well..." His Adam's apple bobs as he backs away from her.

"No! I'll come with you. 'Course I will."

The corners of his mouth curl up slightly. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, but things have to change."

"Yes, of course," he says, looking earnest.

"I want it...I want it to be like it was. Before you changed."

He ducks his head. "Right."

"And you need to start letting me in." She takes a step closer and grabs his hand. "I know it's hard for you but if you give me time to learn to trust you again, I'll give you time to open up, all right? I won't nag; I just need you to promise you'll try," she says, realising she has moved even closer to him, resting her left hand over his right heart. "I'm human, yeah? Can't keep pretending things don't affect me. And...and I think it might be good for you, too."

"I promise." Crinkles form in the corners of his eyes as he smiles softly at her. "Any more demands?" he jokes, letting the smile turn into a grin.

"Actually... If Mickey wants to, I'd like him to stay," she says, noticing the Doctor's eyebrows rise from surprise. "He's my oldest mate," she continues, emphasising the last word to make sure he understands. "And I need him, all right?" He nods. "Oh, and I want breakfast in bed for at least a month," she adds, grinning.

"Your wish is my command, Rose Tyler." His eyes rove over her face, as though he's searching for something, so she raises her eyebrows, giving him a questioning look. "So...does that mean you're coming back home?"

"Yeah," she chokes out, feeling tension leave her body as his arms wrap around her.

She snuggles into his chest, breathing him in and enjoying the comforting beats of his twin hearts against her cheek. He tightens his grip around her and she hums as she feels him pressing a kiss on the top of her head. During their month apart, she feared she would never again be in his embrace and she's scared of letting go now that they're finally together. So, she clings to him tightly, scared that everything will fall apart if she lets go.

"Rose, I..." he whispers, several long moments later. "I missed you."

Smiling, she squeezes him a little bit harder. "Me too."

"So...are you ready to go back to the TARDIS?"

"No." She steps back, shaking her head. "There's something I need us to do first."

"Oh?"

"Let's sit." She chooses the chair opposite the one she saw him getting up from earlier. "I want a do-over."

"Of what?"

"Our fight. I wanna do it properly. Do it right. I was so angry with you I couldn't listen but I'm ready now. So, please, let's just try it again, yeah?"

"Though you said you weren't going to pressure me," he says, looking down but giving her a lopsided grin.

"No, I said I wasn't gonna nag and I won't. Don't you have a, uhm, photographic memory?"

"I think you mean eidetic memory." He chuckles as he sits down. "Fair enough, was worth a shot," he adds, winking at her. "No chance I can convince you to take this to the TARDIS? Suspect you won't go back unless we do this here, right?"

She shoots him a firm look. "_We_ won't go back _until_ we do this."

"All right. You drive a hard bargain, Tyler." The Doctor grins widely. "You're right, though. It's... Some things need to be said. I've, ehm, I've learned my lesson."

His eyes flit to Sarah Jane, who smiles at them and gets up from her chair. "Rose, if you need me, I'll be in the living room."

Rose's cheeks heat up as she realises she had completely forgotten Sarah Jane witnessing their tender moment. "'Kay, thanks."

"So..." she says to the Doctor once Sarah Jane has left them alone. "Why did you come to my room? You said it wasn't for a shag, yeah, but... Doctor, you..." She gestures vaguely with one hand.

Laughing quietly, he ducks his head and a faint blush creeps up his cheeks. "Well...I always... Rose, I always want you," he murmurs without looking up and butterflies fill her stomach. "And it's not...it's not to forget sorrows, or... I didn't... Well, when Reinette tried to, ehm, you know, it wasn't hard," he says, and the tension is so thick she has to bite her lip not to blurt out a crude joke. "It wasn't hard at all to say no. It's just you. I don't... She's very attractive, of course she is, but I don't get tempted by anyone else but you," he explains, voice still so low she has to focus to hear him.

"Then why...why did you kiss her?" she asks, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice.

He inhales deeply through his nose and exhales the air slowly through his mouth. "She kissed me and I kissed back because...because it felt good. Physically, not-not... I liked the physical sensation and I... Well, it's been awhile, a couple of regenerations at least, since I've been properly snogged." He shakes his head. "It's a terrible excuse, I know, but... Anyway, the second time I was...deeply unhappy because I thought I wouldn't see you or my ship for decades and I thought maybe it would make me feel better in-in here," he says, touching his chest. "It didn't. So I didn't reciprocate and she stopped."

"What do you mean, decades?"

"Decades for me. Not for you. Hopefully, just a few hours or, worst case scenario, a couple of days for you and-and Mickey."

She knits her brow. "I don't understand."

"I just needed to find a previous incarnation and hitch a ride. The TARDIS can track herself through time, you see."

A wave of relief washes over her. "Oooh."

"Rose, you knew I was coming back, didn't you?" he asks, catching her gaze and holding it. "I told you. And-and I meant it. I'm not doing that. Not to you."

"Was hoping, but... Well, you'd been acting so weird all day and you didn't explain! You just jumped, Doctor! And I thought... You seemed so-so entranced by her! And the way she spoke about you! I thought you wanted the slow path with her."

"Ugh." He scrunches up his whole face and shudders. "Me on the slow path? No, ta!"

She can't help but laugh at him and his adorable grimace but she has to know. "Then why...? Why did you behave like that?"

He draws in a sharp breath and the blush returns to his cheeks as he shifts uncomfortably in his chair. "I thought... Earlier that day, Rose, we... I thought I was... The whole time, ehm, during our...arrangement, I tried to convince myself it was just..." He shrugs, staring at his hands holding a teacup. "And I thought that was all it was for you. What did you call it? No strings attached shagging-"

"I didn't mean that."

"Yeah, well... Anyway, when you said you wanted to talk I thought you wanted to end it. So I ran." He sighs heavily, running his hands over his face. "I always run, don't I? Just...couldn't bear you telling me that I was alone in..." he trails off, not looking at her.

"So...you didn't...? You weren't just...using me?"

"No!" His hands shoot out and grab hers over the table. "You really believed that?" He stares incredulously at her. "_Really_? And you just _let_ me?"

She quirks an eyebrow at him, pulling away her hands to cross her arms over her chest as she leans back in her chair. "Oh, Doctor. When have I ever done anything just 'cause you wanted me to unless I wanted it too?"

His face breaks out in a radiant smile.

"Shouldn't tell you this, 'cause your head will probably explode, but you're a bloody good shag, you are," she says, flashing him a tongue touched grin.

He looks ridiculously pleased with himself. "Really? Weeell," he drawls, grinning widely and adjusting his tie as he preens. "I am rather brilliant."

"Oh, god," she gasps, chuckling and pulling out her mobile. She snaps a quick photo of the proud Time Lord, laughing at how perfectly she captured his reaction to her compliment.

His smug expression changes into one of horror. "What was that for?"

She shoves her mobile back into her pocket. "Oh, just need a visual for when I tell Sarah Jane later."

"No! You wouldn't! ...would you?" he asks, but she only sniggers at him. Rubbing his neck, he clears his throat and looks concernedly at her. "But if you didn't think I was using you, why...?"

"No, I did! But only after we met Reinette. See, before that I just thought you had your issues, yeah? Big old Time Lord travelling time and space for centuries, suppressing his emotions and pretending he was asexual. Gotta be pretty hard to overcome, I reckon. So, I thought if I just respected your issues, you'd eventually let me in. But then..." She breathes in deeply, trying not to let the memories get the best of her emotions since she now knows he didn't fall in love with Reinette. "You _kissed_ her."

"Oooooh, you really didn't care that I never shagged her, did you?"

"Well, I wouldn't say I didn't care," she says, grabbing a scone and breaking it into smaller pieces to get rid of some of the anger still lingering within her. "But the kissing. Could just as well have stabbed me in the back."

He beams at her. "So you _were_ jealous?!"

"Doctor?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up." She throws a piece of the scone in his face, laughing as he anticipates her move and catches the morsel with his mouth. "Impressive."

"Ain't I just?!"

"God, you're such a little shit." Giggling, she throws a few more bits at him.

He suddenly looks serious. "You were right, you know. I needed time. Needed to realise certain...things. I've never... I mean, I have obviously done...been... Well... But not, ehm," he sputters, clearing his throat. "It was only ever experimenting. The women I have been devoted to before you... There was never...sex involved. So, this is all very, ehm, new to me."

She releases the breath she was holding during his explanation with a loud 'oooh'. "Devoted to?" she asks, feeling her heart rate increase, palms sweat and mouth go dry.

He nods, meeting her eye without hesitation.

The widest smile covers her face and her chest is so full of bubbly warmth it feels as though she's about to burst into atoms from sheer happiness. She gets up from her chair and walks over to the Doctor, settling on his lap and wrapping her arms around him as he wraps his around her. Leaning her head against his shoulder, she just sits for a moment and enjoys being close to him.

"Rose, I don't need more time," he tells her quietly.

Having him confirm that her feelings are reciprocated is the most wonderful thing and she wants desperately to kiss him, but there have been too many misunderstandings and too much heartbreak. She has to be honest with herself and him and the truth is she's just not ready for them to take the next step.

"I'm...I'm... Doctor, I do, though. I can't just... I was serious before, all right? I want it to be like it was. Just best mates travelling together." She feels him stiffen in her embrace. "Not forever! S'just... I'm the one needing time now. Can't just pick up where we left off. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He strokes her hair. "I have all the time in the universe, you know. And if you never..." He pulls back so he can look her in the eye. "I'd be honoured to just be your best mate, Rose Tyler," he tells her, kissing her on the forehead.

"Thank you." She snuggles her face into the crook of his neck.

"Rose?" he asks, after they have cuddled together for a long moment.

"Yeah?"

"Are you really going to...er...show that photo to Sarah and tell her...things? You're not, right?"

"Oh, relax. I've already told her you're amazing with your tongue. Is this really any worse?"

"You _what_?!" he squeaks, almost dropping her on the floor as he darts up from his chair.

Catching her balance by tightly gripping his arms, she snickers at him. "Just teasing you, Doctor."

"Oooh. So you didn't tell her...?"

"Weeeeell," she says, mimicking his drawl and head tilt. "Might have slipped out of me when I was unloading. Also told her about that time when I was standing in the galley, making tea, and you pulled my knickers off, spread my legs and fu-"

"Rose Tyler!" he gasps, clasping his hand over her mouth as she giggles. "What else did you tell her?" he asks, releasing her face.

"Hm..." She taps her chin thoughtfully. "The size of your-" She stops talking when it looks as though he's about to faint. "No, no! I'm joking! I was joking about that one."

"You better! I'm this close to revoking my breakfast-in-bed promise!" He indicates just how close by holding up his thumb and index finger pad-to-pad.

Rose snorts at him. "You wouldn't dare." She holds out her hand, wiggling her fingers. "Wanna help me pack?"

His eyes sparkle with happiness. "Oh, you're ready to come home now? We're-we're going back to the TARDIS?"

She has barely finished nodding before he throws his arms around her, lifting her up and twirling around in circles whilst making happy noises in the back of his throat.


	20. Confessions I

**Note:** this chapter is not beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Not sure if I've said this before but my chapters are usually beta'd by the lovely nonlinearmusing

* * *

The Doctor is eager to get back to the TARDIS and whisk Rose away on adventures; however, as they enter the guest room to pack her things she changes her mind. A month isn't a very long time but it has been enough for her to start a new life. Looking at her stuff scattered all over the room, she decides that this time she should get her affairs in order before leaving, unlike when she first ran off with the Doctor. In other words: quit her job and say goodbye to George, Bella and Sarah Jane. Since the former would be busy all weekend they decide to stay at Sarah Jane's house until Monday. Although the other woman doesn't mention it, Rose notices her using this chance to observe how Rose and the Doctor act around each other. The two women might only have lived together for a month but their dynamic is already something akin to that of a mother and a daughter and Rose recognises the protective tendencies also found in her mum. Luckily, the other woman seems to approve of what she sees.

Now that they're back together again, the Doctor barely leaves Rose's side but he seems mindful of physical contact. It doesn't worry Rose in the least since she's been through all of this before. She's certain that if he's given enough time, he will feel relaxed around her and hugs and hand holding will once more become second nature to them. She still sleeps in the guest room, whilst the Doctor and Mickey returns to the TARDIS when night falls and, as she lies in the dark with nothing but her thoughts to keep her company, she can't help but wonder how much Mickey knows. She assumed the Doctor would drop him off as soon as she left; so, learning that the two most important men in her life have gone from rivals to gallivanting across time and space together makes her feel... Well, she honestly doesn't know what to make of it since Mickey seemed so adamant to leave after the events in France.

On Sunday Sarah Jane gives her a lift to Bella Investigation whilst the Doctor stays in the house with Mickey, tinkering with K9. Bella takes the news rather well. Although she is disappointed, she doesn't seem very surprised and certainly doesn't blame Rose for wanting her old life back. Rose now knows that she shouldn't take things for granted; so, she makes sure to make a good last impression in case she'll find herself in a similar position again where she'll need a job. Therefore, she leaves her former employer the number to her superphone in case she'll ever need help with something that's a bit too much to handle for a regular human.

Monday morning they say goodbye to and thank Sarah Jane for her hospitality, patience and care. Sensing her worry, they promise to stop by with some regularity and make sure they all have one another's numbers and, after the older woman gives the Doctor a few solid threats to make him behave, they carry Rose's bags to the TARDIS.

"Just gonna say goodbye to George and then we're off, all right?" Rose says. She regards the Doctor for a moment before adding, "D'you wanna come?"

"Ehm...do you want me to come?"

"Yeah. He, uhm, well... We bonded a little, yeah? He's a widower and I... Well, I said you were missing."

"Well then, Rose Tyler," he says, holding out his hand to her.

They find the old man sitting on his usual bench, sipping on a coffee and looking curiously at them as they approach. Rose immediately notices the logo on the paper cup, knowing the drink is bought from the coffee shop down the street and smiling at the fact that it's already become a habit to pay attention to such details.

"George!" She beams at him. "This is, uhm..."

"Rose's fellow, I gather?" George stands up and proffers the Doctor his hand.

"Yes. Yes, I am," the Doctor confirms, shaking the older man's hand, and thrills shoot through Rose's body at his words. "John. Lovely to meet you, George."

"Thought as much." George turns to Rose, patting her cheek fondly. "Never seen you smile like this..."

"They found him this weekend, so...I'm going back home now. Leaving today, actually. I, uhm... Can I just say... Thanks, George. You really made it easier, you know?" He nods, giving her a knowing smile. "So, how'd it go with your son?"

"Oh, it went well but don't you worry about that, now, Rose. Go enjoy your fellow." He makes a shooing gesture, eyes sparkling with joy for her. "I know how much you missed him."

"Oh, I'm gonna miss you."

"Not gonna lie. I'll miss you, I will. But I'm happy for you, love."

He holds his arms out for a hug, so Rose gives him one as well as a quick peck on the cheek before stepping back and taking the Doctor's hand once more.

"'Kay. Might see you when we visit Sarah Jane, yeah?"

"I'd like that. Now, run along!"

* * *

The Doctor isn't the first broken man Mickey ever befriended and he knows how to handle someone with a temper; so, as soon as Rose was out of the equation, the two men bonded at least somewhat. He'd never admit to it but, now that he has gone on a few adventures with the Time Lord and seen with his own two eyes what the man can do, Mickey actually looks up to him. They have saved countless of lives together by now, even though Mickey mostly stands by and assists whilst the Doctor does his thing, and it's almost addictive. Therefore, Mickey was glad when Rose asked him if he wanted to keep travelling with them. However, it quickly became apparent that as soon as the Doctor had his precious Rose back in his life, Mickey got demoted to tin dog once more.

The worst part, though, isn't that they don't seem to find him very useful. Mickey knows he doesn't has as much experience and is used to being a bit overlooked. No, the really annoying part is how obnoxiously in love they are with each other. Mickey doesn't begrudge them the happiness of having their feelings, not only reciprocated, but also finally acknowledged and out in the open. He's just fed up with their constant eye fucking, how they laugh incessantly at each other's stupid jokes and completely forget he is in the room. Or on the planet. It's a miracle they haven't yet accidentally left him behind.

The first week is rather safe. The Doctor seems mindful of their experiences with the clockwork droids and takes them to pleasure planets and tourist traps. They find trouble anyway, of course, but nothing they can't handle within an hour or two without ever really being in danger. Rose gets fed up with being coddled and has a talk with the Doctor where she firmly tells him to get back to business. Mickey doesn't mind, though; as exhilarating as the adrenalin rush of narrowly escaping some alien goons is, that's not what he was after when he signed up. Helping the Doctor and Rose with the Slitheen family and the Krillitanes was rewarding but he mostly just wanted to see that splendor Sarah Jane was talking about. The Doctor once claimed that trouble just was the bits in between but Mickey now knows that was nothing but a lie to keep Jackie happy.

However, after landing on a parallel world and seeing Rickey Smith, the person he could have been, Mickey changes his attitude. He obviously can be more than someone who holds tools and pushes buttons. Perhaps it should have been a tough decision to stay in this new world but he finds it's quite the opposite. He has nothing tying him to his home universe anymore; whilst he always looked out for Rose growing up, he now realises she hasn't needed him in years and that it really has nothing to do with the Doctor coming into her life. It's also clear to him that he'll never reach his full potential when the Doctor always assume he's useless and Rose takes him for granted. So, he stays with his old gran, knowing he can make a change this way and certain that the Doctor and Rose will be fantastic together.

* * *

The Doctor and Rose sit in the library, she's on the sofa and he's in his favorite armchair. They've been in here for hours, drinking Aluskian white beer and holding a wake of sorts. She's shared several anecdotes from her childhood in between statements of disbelief over the fact that she'll never see her oldest friend again.

"I can't believe he's gone. I just can't." She takes a sip from her bottle. "He's always been there, yeah? I don't even know who I am without him."

Licking foam off his top lip, the Doctor knits his brow as he watches her from his armchair. "You don't?"

"I..." she trails off, thinking that she probably looks as lost as she feels. "Dunno." She finishes her beer in one large gulp and grabs another from the cool box. She screws the lid off and lifts the bottle to her mouth, resting it against her bottom lip for a second. The Doctor prefers drinking it from a glass but she's always liked it better straight from the bottle. It makes her feel older and carefree. "I wasn't very nice to him, was I?" She takes a few more mouthfuls of the thick and slightly bitter drink.

"Why would you say that?"

"He knew about... He knew about us and I couldn't even be arsed to care. Apparently he heard us."

The Doctor puts down his glass on the table, looking at his knees as he wipes the condensation off his fingers. "Yeah..."

"Oh, he told you? Huh. Guess you grew close, then?"

"Not exactly."

There's something in his tone that makes the slight buzz she's feeling vanish in an instant. "What do you mean?"

"I thought you were going to leave me today."

"Why are you changing-"

"I know it's ridiculous, 'cause you'd never leave your mother. But for a moment, when you got your father back, I thought..." He shrugs, looking morose.

"I wouldn't," she says, a bit confused. "I wouldn't leave _you_."

"You shouldn't make promises, Rose," he mumbles.

"Is this about me leaving after...?"

His eyes widen and eyebrows rise as he looks up at her. "No. Not at all. You-you did the right thing, Rose. Besides," grabbing his glass again, he leans over to clink it to her bottle, "had mister Mickey to keep me company."

"What was that like anyway?" She grins. "Bet you were bickering like an old married couple."

"Not too bad." He takes a swig. "Always does as he's told, that one. Took some getting used to. His predecessor is quite a handful." Winking, he shoots her a crooked smile.

"Oi!" She throws a pillow at him. "Me wandering off is usually what saves your sorry arse!"

"Oh, Rose it was so boring!" He shakes his head, laughing. "Please tell me you're too drunk to remember I said this, but I rather admire you never doing what I tell you."

"Why, thank you." She beams at him. "I'm not drunk, though. Only had three of these. Takes more than that to get me pissed."

"Well, that's unfortunate. Listen." He sighs heavily as he rubs his forehead, so she puts down her bottle on the table, sitting up straight and feeling worried about what he's about to tell her. "I have a confession to make." He stays silent for several minutes, seemingly mustering up some courage or, perhaps, trying to find the right words. Rose sits frozen as she waits, almost forgetting how to breathe. "Mickey didn't hear us. He saw us."

"Wha-" she croaks, clearing her throat when her voice breaks. "How?"

"We were in the media room and I..." He shifts in his armchair, trying to find a comfortable position and still not looking her in the eye. "The TARDIS alerted me that he was close. The door was open and... I could've told her to just redirect the corridor or closed the door or..." He closes his eyes, leaning his head back and sighing. "I wanted him to hear. I wanted him to know that-that..."

"That what?" she prompts after he trails off.

"I thought the two of you were intimate again. I couldn't... I wanted..." He rubs his eyes, looking exhausted. "I was jealous, so I wanted him to know. Honestly, I didn't know he would watch. I thought he would run back to his room once he heard us, but the TARDIS told me he was still there so I..." He takes a deep breath and slightly tilts his chin up. "I turned my head to look and..." He makes a half-hearted gesture with his hand. "Well, he only saw my head and probably your feet but... Well, the noises... I assume that's why he told you he only heard us. Don't much reckon he wanted you to know he saw."

Rose gapes at him, too shocked to form any kind of response. It takes her several seconds to be able to think straight.

"When?" He looks confused by her question, so she clarifies: "When was he standing there? What-what did he hear? Did he...the things I said?"

"Yes."

"Oh, my god," she whispers, covering her mouth with her hand. "Oh, my god! What the hell, Doctor!" Darting up from the sofa, she stares at him but he sits completely still with his emotionless mask in place. "I faked it with him! All the time! Hearing that must have gutted him! He-he... Ugh!" She sits down again, shoulders slumping. "Oh, my god. I feel _horrible_!"

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Yeah, you be sorry, then." She stands up and heads for the door. "I can't even... Ugh! I need some time alone."

However, as she reaches for the handle to open the door and leave, she realises what a progress it is for him to be telling her this. Had he not told her, she would never have known since Mickey has left for good. He risked her becoming angry with him because he knows she wants him to open up and be honest when he just as well could have kept quiet. Sighing, she turns around and walks back to him.

He's staring blankly in front of himself so she kneels down beside him and takes his hand. "Thank you for telling me," she says, brushing her thumb over his knuckles. He turns his head towards her, looking surprised. "Really appreciate it. But...I just need to be alone for a while, yeah?"

Nodding, he offers her the slightest of smiles and squeezes her hand. "I'll be in the console room. Whenever you're ready."

She doesn't stay long in her room because she can't stop thinking about the night at Sarah Jane's house when she and the Doctor had sex with the door open. She can't help but suspect that he might have wanted to get caught. Perhaps he was tired of hiding in the dark and wanted it all out in the open so he didn't have to muster up the courage to change their situation? Maybe got off on it? Walking out to the console room to confront him about it, she finds him tinkering under the grating; so, she crawls into the space next to him and lies on her back, looking up at his work.

"Hello. Hold these," he mumbles around the sonic screwdriver in his mouth as he hands her a couple of screws.

"Why did Mickey stay with you?"

"I don't know." He rips out a bunch of wires, using the sonic to scan them. "He...I forgot about him and when he found me again he... Well, he just stayed. I think he saw that I needed someone."

She knows it's a stupid question, he came back for her after all, but she can't help but ask it. "Were you that upset when I left?"

He turns on his side so he can face her and looks at her with knitted brow for a long moment. She can see sadness and longing in his eyes and it's so hard not to pull him closer to assure him of her affection.

"Rose..." He reaches out for her cheek, cupping it and running his thumb across her lip and she shivers from the contact. "I want to kiss you," he whispers, eyes lingering at her mouth. "All the time. I want to-" He shuts his mouth and turns back to his work, sorting the wires. "I'm sorry. You don't want..."

"I want you to want me. Just because I'm not ready yet doesn't mean I don't... Look. I want you to want me, all right?" She inches closer, laying her hand on his chest. "I want you too. I'm just not ready."

"I know."

"Can I stay here for a little while? Don't much fancy being alone right now."

"Of course."

Snuggling even closer, she burrows her nose into his side. "This is all right?"

"Yeah." She hears the smile and tenderness in his voice.

They lie quietly for a few minutes but the atmosphere is comfortable and intimate so she reckons it's as good a time as any to ask what she wants to know. "That night at Sarah Jane's... You left the door open. Were you hoping-"

"No! Absolutely not! I was... Well, I had no intention of... You were having a nightmare, Rose! I was only going to comfort you, but..." He waves his hands about, sounding flustered.

"It's okay, Doctor." She stills him by taking his hands, resting them on his chest with her own. "You got tempted, yeah? That's all right."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. Besides..." Licking her lips, she feels her cheeks heat up against the cool fabric of his shirt. "I quite liked it. You-you know that, right?"

"Yeah... I could...I could tell."

"Is that something you like? Knowing you could get caught."

"No. No, not really. Why do you ask?"

"'Cause...you liked it when Mickey saw us, right?"

"That wasn't... Ahem, that was... Rose, I'm territorial and I don't-I don't share. When I saw him standing there I knew he'd never touch you again and... You said... The things you said made me feel...proud. It was all very..." He gestures wildly. "Primal, all right? I wasn't thinking clearly. I saw him in your-your dressing gown and he smelled like you and-and I just...!"

"'Kay, so just you needing to always be the most impressive man in the room and not an exibi-exhibini-exhibon-"

"Exhibitionistic thing, no," he fills in for her, sounding amused at her efforts to correctly pronounce the word.

She playfully smacks him on the chest. "Yeah, that."

"No, I'm rather private, Rose."

"Yeah, I know. Just wondering. Sometimes what goes on in the bedroom isn't really what goes on outside of it, yeah?"

"Yeah... Wait. Do _you_ like it?"

Her blush returns to her cheeks. "Maybe..."

"Really?!" He makes a happy sound in the back of his throat. "Rose Tyler, the pervert!"

She gives him another smack. "Shut up!" Biting her thumb nail, she decides to keep the conversation going since he seems to be open to sharing things with her. "Are you angry with me for telling Sarah Jane?"

"No. No, of course not. You obviously needed to talk to someone and... Well, yes, I would've preferred it being someone other than one of my best friends, but... No. No, I'm not angry."

"I didn't plan on it. Knew you wouldn't want me to. She-she saw the hickeys and figured it out on her own."

"Well, she's an investigative reporter. A brilliant one, at that. Reckon she would've caught on eventually either way. If Jackie Tyler figured it out in half an hour..."

Rose giggles. "Oh, god, I wish I had been there for that!"

"Does-does your mother know about...everything?"

"Why?" She pokes him in the side. "Afraid of getting slapped?"

"No, I'm afraid she'll kill me and hide the body." Lifting up his head, he looks down at her. "Word on the street is she knows how."

"No, I haven't told her and I won't. I don't... There are some things you don't tell your mum, yeah?"

"Ah. Well, do you want to visit? We should probably tell her about Mickey."

"No, not yet. I mean, yeah, we should tell her but..."

"But what?"

"You know when you fell on the playground and hurt your knees? And you kept it all together and didn't cry or anything. And then you saw your mum and... Well, you just cry, yeah? Like a little baby. Can't hold it in anymore. It's just been so much lately and I... I don't wanna cry anymore. Been crying so much and I'm really not a crier, Doctor."

"There's nothing wrong with crying, Rose."

"Yeah, I know. But at some point it just gets exhausting instead of liberating. Will fall apart if I see mum now. Can we just make a trip in between?"

"Where do you wanna go? Carola Major has one of the best hot chocolates in the universe or maybe you'd fancy the water park on Luscious Alpha 7?"

"What about Mysticorious? Did you finish the vaccine?"

She feels him shift uncomfortably. "Eeehm..."

"You went without me?!"

He tugs at his ear. "Weeeeell... You left, Rose. Didn't think I'd ever see you again, so, yeah. Yeah, I did."

Pursing her lips, she removes her hand from his chest. "I wanna go anyway."

"Why?"

"I wanna see what happened with Olennh and the others. He thought I would come and I've left enough people behind. I wanna say a proper goodbye."

"Fair enough," he says, tone curt. "Just give me a minute with these wires."

"Honestly, I think you'd like him if you gave him a chance. He's a good person. Come to think of it, he reminds me of you actually, only..."

"Only?"

She shrugs. "More innocent, I suppose."

"Ah. Well..." he trails off and, as he never finishes his sentence, she climbs up again and waits on the jump seat for him to get ready.

* * *

Sitting at her desk, Queen Lah looks up from the scrolls she's signing to greet the Doctor. Her smile is bright and welcoming and she gestures him to pull up a chair and sit opposite her.

"We met again, dear friend! I have a few of these to go through. One moment, if you please."

He fiddles with his sonic screwdriver as he waits, but his thoughts are occupied with Rose. They learned from the guards that Olennh now is the apprentice of Beau, the current court medicus, as soon as they exited the TARDIS. Being familiar with Rose, they showed her the way to his chambers whilst the Doctor decided to visit Lah. He would most certainly like to follow Rose but, in light of recent events, he suspects it's better to suppress his jealousy and let her spend time with whomever she wants. However, he does find it hard not to let his imagination get the best of him. He and Rose might be more open about their relationship but, he realises, they haven't made any promises and the thought makes his stomach churn.

Just as the Queen puts down her quill, the guards announce Rose and Olennh are outside and want to gain entrance to her chambers.

The Queen looks surprised but pleased. "Rose? Why, Doctor. You reconciled!"

"Yep."

"I thought I could sense her scent on you but it is very faint." Furrowing her brow, she pats his hand. "Nothing like it used to be."

"We're...we're taking things slow."

She nods knowingly. "Ah. Say no more." Turning to the guards, she motions them to let in the visitors. "Rose!" She immediately rushes up to the blond, holding her hands out to grip Rose around the elbows and give her air kisses. "How lovely to see you."

Rose grins amusedly at the Queen's reaction. "Yeah, you too." Her eyes flit to the Doctor. "We're, uhm, Olennh wants to take me to the others. Just wanna see how they're doing. Says it will take about a day. Is that...is that all right, Doctor? Can we stay?"

"Sorry?" Blinking owlishly at her, he hides his fists in the pockets of his trousers. "Weeeell, what about the-the infected?"

"We'll take a carriage. Besides, according to Olennh it's not very likely to run into one anymore."

"Oh. Ah. Well." He swallows hard, trying to keep his feelings in check. This is the last thing he wants but, knowing that he will only make things worse if he tries to control whom Rose spends time with, he nods and tells her to be back before dusk.

"'Kay. See you later." Rising on tiptoes, she gives him a peck on the cheek before running off with the fairy man.

Leaning against her desk, Queen Lah regards the Doctor for a moment once they're alone again. "Did Rose ever tell you what happened?"

"Ehm, no..."

"They started out as twenty; however, once they arrived here... See, Doctor, although the whole wagon was full of people the serfs had captured, only eight remained of Rose's group. We had to force Olennh to turn in that night, yet he woke up hours before dawn, ready to be of assistance. He told me everything that transpired during their escape. One always thinks one would take charge in a chaotic situation, does one not? That one would not let anyone harm oneself or others. However, in reality, Doctor, is it not more likely that one gets paralysed from fear?"

"It's common, yes. Usually there has to be one person who breaks out of it. Just one and then the rest will follow."

"Yes. Rose was that one person. She took charge and, from what Olennh told me, I very much doubt any of them would have made it, if it were not for her resourcefulness and ability to lead."

"Well, considering everything she's seen by now I reckon there's not much that would faze her."

"Mm. You only take the best, yes?"

"Yeah. Well, I did travel for a bit with Mickey..."

He grins but the Queen ignores his comment, giving him a concerned look. "How do you think it made her feel to lose twelve people under her care?"

"Ehm..." He ducks his head. "I didn't know that happened."

"Did you ask?" He shakes his head and she sighs. "Oh, Doctor. When will you learn?" She pushes herself off the desk and walks up to him so she can link her arm with his. "Come. Let me show you how we are coming along," she says, escorting him out of the chambers.

* * *

The survivors live spread out in three villages and, even though all are located fairly close to one another, it takes Olennh and Rose most of the day to visit them all. They spend a lot of time on the road and he tells her about his work as the new apprentice to the court medicus. He seems happy and energetic, fulfilled by his new occupation. She's glad there at least was something good resulting from their dreadful experience. Once they leave the last village, she's tired and hungry but Olennh has one more stop he wants them to make before they return to the castle. He parks the carriage next to a small mountain and, since they can't use it on the narrow trail, he scoops her up in his arms and flies up to the top.

"Takes too long to climb it and dusk is approaching," he explains as they flutter higher.

Rose giggles, feeling thrills in her stomach from the experience. "Oh, I'm not complaining! Flying like this is... People don't have wings where I come from so this is rather..." She sighs happily, beaming. "It's lovely. It's really lovely."

He gingerly puts her down on the ground once they reach the top and her jaw drops at the view.  
The mountain is located in the middle of the lush green plains with only a few landmarks breaking up the landscape. She can see the dense forest they trekked through the night they tried to escape and she can see the castle, but other than that it's just endless fields of grass under a yellowing sky.

"This mountain is sacred."

Rose looks around them, feeling like she's trespassing. "Oh, are we allowed to be here?"

Olennh chuckles. "Of course. I went back to where we were attacked and gathered Swip's remains. We made a pyre and this is where we spread the ashes, as is our way. This is where, one day, my ashes will be spread. The Queen's as well. We're all equal once we've passed."

"Do you come here to remember, then?"

He turns to her, curious expression on his face. "No. Is that what you lot do?"

"Yeah. We have, like, a place where we keep the remains and you go there and remember."

"I see. No, once we've passed we're apart of every living thing, but... When we spread the ashes, we have a moment where we sing and cherish our memories of the fallen. We were all here. All of us survivors and we missed you, but I knew you'd return." Smiling at her, he pulls out a locket from under his tunic. "I kept some for you. I'll sing if you... Just empty it and the wind will pick it up." He makes a few fluid gestures with his hand. "It will take your sorrows and heartache with it; scatter it all over the world and we'll carry the burden together."

"Oh. That's beautiful. Thank you." Her hands shake a little as she takes the locket and opens it.

"Yes, it helps you to let go and move on. Now, go on."

Throwing the ashes into the wind as Olennh begins singing a hymn, she can't help but think of Mickey instead of the troll Swip. She thinks about all the things she should have done differently and all the things she'll never get to tell him. Tears flood her eyes as she realises she'll never see Mickey's children or meet his wife or that they won't grow old together as best mates, something they always assumed they would. Olennh's hand finds hers and he squeezes it comfortingly and holds it as he finishes the hymn. He has a lovely voice, deep and husky, and the song is beautiful and happy rather than solemn. Closing her eyes, she tries to let go by envisioning her sorrows floating out of her body and spreading over the world along with the ashes.

Olennh draws in a deep breath after ending the hymn and turns to her. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah... S'just... We never do this, me and the Doctor. We never stop and feel, we just run and run and eventually it catches up to you, yeah? Think I've been trying to adjust to him too much but both people are supposed to compromise in a relationship, right?"

He nods. "I think so."

"He's getting better, though. He's trying to open up. I can tell." She shrugs. "It's hard for him, though."

"He's a telepath, right?" She nods. "Have you tried sharing your minds? It's...well, it's hard to explain to someone who's never experienced it, I reckon. But it's very intimate and that, in turn, can help you open up further. Doesn't he want to?"

"No, he does. At least I think he does. Was just me who didn't... Maybe it's time, though."

"Well, you could at least speak to him about it, yeah?" He holds out his arms. "Ready?"

Smiling, she lets him lift her up and fly them down the mountain.

* * *

When they get back to the castle the Queen tells her the Doctor has already retired to his travelling box, so Rose thanks her and says goodbye and then lets Olennh walk her to the TARDIS. They hug for a long moment, knowing this most likely is their last goodbye.

"Remember what I told you about sharing one's mind. It might help."

"Thanks, Olennh." She gives him a quick peck on the cheek. "Good luck with the whole medicus thing. You'll be brilliant. I just know it."

"Goodbye, Rose. It was an honour."

He bows his head and, for some reason, it compels her to curtsey. So she does, ignoring how silly she feels about it. "Yeah, it was. Bye, Olennh."

She opens the door and, with one last look at and smile to Olennh, she walks into the time ship. She's hungry and in desperate need of a shower but her spirits are high. During their visits, she found out that, whilst they only were eight when they arrived at the castle, not all of the bitten had been eaten. Some of them had only been infected and therefore been found and cured. The ceremony she partook in has also left her feeling lighter. However, her good mood vanishes in an instant when she sees the Doctor sitting on the jump seat, staring into open space. His eyes are black, his jaw set and angry dimples have formed in his cheeks. Oh, this was getting ridiculous.

She sits down besides him. "You okay?"

"You're late."

"Yeah. Took a little longer than expected." Her eyes flit to the monitor. "Were you watching?"

He doesn't reply but she notices him gripping the edge of the jump seat so hard his knuckles has turned white.

"Doctor, honestly!" She sighs. "I do enjoy it when you get all possessive when we shag, yeah, it's-it's..." Her cheeks grow hot. "It turns me on. But this? This is silly." Wincing inwardly, she realises 'silly' might not have been the best word to use if she wanted him to listen to her. "I have to be able to speak with other men!"

When he still doesn't look at her, she places her fingers around his chin and tilts his face towards hers. "What did you worry would happen?" He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. "Don't you trust me?"

"I..." He turns his head back. "We haven't made any promises."

She manages to suppress a chuckle but can't stop herself from smiling. "Oooh, I see. Doctor? Look at me." He does, so she inches a bit closer and takes his hands. "I'm devoted to you, all right? Doesn't matter that I'm not ready yet. There's only you. Far as I'm concerned you're mine and I'm yours. I just... You really hurt me and can't jump into this headfirst like we usually do, all right? I need to take things slowly this time."

A soft smile is playing on his lips and there's a content glint in his eyes. "Yeah?"

"Yes. D'you-d'you feel the same, then?"

"Yes."

"So no others. Only me and you."

He runs his fingers gently over her cheek. "Only me and you."

"And now that you know, you'll stop being so jealous?"

"You're jealous, too. Remember Lucy?" Grinning at her, he mockingly lets his tongue poke out between his teeth.

"Oi! I actually have a reason to be jealous, all right? But I've never cheated on you, have I?!"

He looks sheepishly at her. "Right. Yes. Sorry. Ehm..." He tugs at his ear. "I'll...I'll work on my possessiveness."

"Good! Now, I'm taking that shower and you're cooking dinner."

He salutes. "Yes, sir."

* * *

The Queen's words keep coming back to the Doctor as he stands in the galley and cooks dinner. He told Rose he has learned his lesson but is that really the truth? There are still things he should tell her but he's so scared she'll leave him once she learns about his questionable actions. Although, procrastinating will only make things worse if she were ever to find out. Rubbing his eyes, he sighs deeply and leans against the counter as he waits for the grilled chicken to be done.

"Tired?"

"Hm? Oh, hello. No. Or, yeah, suppose so."

She holds out a mobile phone. "Can you jiggery pokery this, then? Got it when I... Well, you know. Reckon I need to text everyone who'll need my number now that Mickey's got my superphone, but I don't have any reception."

"Yep. Set the table, then."

He can upgrade a mobile to super status in his sleep, so he keeps his eye on her as she pushes herself up on her toes to grab a couple of plates and glasses. He could smell the other man on her when she came into the TARDIS and the primal need to claim her is as strong as ever. It's not about lack of trust, only making sure his mate stays his. However, he is adamant to respect the lines she has drawn, so he puts down the mobile on the table and walks up to her so he can hug her from behind. That's all it is. Just him wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her close as he breathes in her scent. She's back to using perfume free brands again and his nostrils fill up with the smell of pure Rose. He feels her heart rate speed up as she leans back into him, humming contentedly.

"The first woman I ever... I couldn't be what she needed me to be. So she left me for someone else; someone who reminded her of me but could give her what she wanted and what she deserved."

"Oh. I'm so sorry. But that's not... Doctor, that's not what I meant when I said that Olennh reminds me of you. I'm not... I mean, if things were different maybe I could fancy him but I don't, all right?" She spins around and cups his cheeks. "I won't leave you for someone who can give me babies and domestics. You give me what I need and what I want." Her hands trail down his torso, sending bolts of heat to his crotch. Warm fingers grip his hips tightly, pulling him flush to her and the faint scent of her arousal reaches his nose. Her eyes are big, brown and so loving it makes him melt and he's utterly entranced by her. "Why are we waiting? I know you won't hurt me. I know you..." she whispers, tongue darting out to moisten her lips. "Olennh told me about sharing your mind with someone. I think...I think I might be ready for that. If you want? That's what your people do, right?" Rising up on tiptoes, she begins to close the gap between them and her lips are barely an inch from his. He feels her warm breath hit his skin as she speaks. "Maybe we can..."

He stumbles back. "No."

Knitting her brow, she shakes her head at him in confusion. "What is it? I thought you wanted..."

"I do! But..." He runs his hand over his face. "I don't think you'll leave me for someone who can give you babies and domestics, Rose. You'll leave me once you learn that I'm not the man you think I am."

"I don't... What d'you mean, Doctor?"

He keeps his eyes firmly on his plimsolls. "I've done some horrible things, Rose. You won't... When I tell you, you'll... I won't blame you if you'll want to leave."

"I know you have a past, Doctor. Don't care about that, all right? All that matters is who you are now."

"Yeah..." He nods slowly. "That's what I'm talking about." He forces himself to meet her eye. Her face is scrunched up in bemusement and the look she's giving him guarded. "Rose, I've not been... I have more confessions to make."


	21. Confessions II

**Note:** This chapter is unbetad so all mistakes are my own.

* * *

"Rose, I've not been... I have more confessions to make."

She narrows her eyes, looking at him. "If you tell me you shagged Queen Lah I'm gonna _kill_ you. Properly. No regeneration or anything."

"What?! Why-"

"Don't think I haven't noticed you being all thick as thieves!"

She pouts when the Doctor chuckles at her. "Rose. Lah fancies _you_."

"She- What? _Really_?"

"Yeah. She asked for my blessing first time we were here."

"A queen fancies me!" Feeling enormously pleased with herself, Rose beams and tosses her hair but, remembering what they were discussing, she frowns and points at him. "Hey! Don't distract me. You had a confession to make."

The Doctor starts when the oven makes a loud bing. "Oh! Dinner's done. Eat whilst we...?"

She sighs. "Yeah, sure."

They finish setting the table together and load their plates with food. Rose grabs a couple of beer bottles from the fridge and pours one into a glass before handing it to him. She's nervous as hell and has trouble sitting still as they start digging into the food in silence. It's clear to her that he's trying to find the right words and that increases her worry.

"It's not..." She swallows. "It's not Reinette, right?"

He sighs at her. "Rose. I knew her for, what, not even a day? I don't let someone in that quickly and it's far from enough time for me to... Look, Reinette was lovely, she really was, and I found her attractive, but... It's like with you and Olennh. Maybe if things had been different...but they aren't. My species are monogamous. We find our... We mate for life, Rose. I don't... Please, can we leave that behind us? I cared for her, of course I did, but we didn't..." He drops his utensils, which lands on his plate with a loud clink. "Can we please focus on the issue at hand?!"

"Yeah... I'm sorry," she mumbles.

He rubs his forehead. "No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I... This will be hard for me to explain properly. There's so much you don't know, so... Just listen."

"Yeah, 'course."

"I'm telepathic. Whilst I enjoy physical intimacy, ahem, very much so, I have a strong need to...connect. Mentally. On Gallifrey we tied ourselves to each other in two ways: marriage in a similar fashion to what you're familiar with and...er...bonding. As you know I can form a temporary connection with someone, but I can also form a permanent one. It's irrevocable and... Well, it lasts until one of us, ehm, one of the...er, well, until one dies."

Rose instinctively lifts her hands to her temples, trying to remember if she's ever felt him inside her head. She would know, wouldn't she? He hasn't-

"Don't worry. I've not... We're not bonded."

She loudly lets out the breath she wasn't aware of holding, sagging down in her chair. "God, you scared me."

"But..." he says and she feels dread flood through her as she waits for him to finish his sentence. "That time on the console before... I almost...I almost did it, Rose. I'm so sorry-"

"What?!" she whispers, too shocked for her voice to function.

"It was instinct! I..."

"_Instinct_?!"

"I'm so sorry. I-"

"Would you have gone through with it if I hadn't stopped you?"

"I don't know, Rose. I hope not. I think-"

"That is not okay! That's really, really not okay!"

"I know, I'm so-"

"How could you do that to me?"

"I don't know. I just... I panicked, all right? I'd spent months of suppressing all of these..." Frowning, he gestures frustratedly in front of his chest. "I thought you were... Have you never done something foolish to keep someone you- Keep someone with you?"

"Oh, that's not fair. That is _not_ fair. I tried to save his life, not tie him to me forever."

"You almost ended the world," he says coolly.

"I didn't know what I was doing!"

"Neither did I! I wasn't thinking clearly! I was...!" Letting out a groan, he stands up and starts pacing the room. "If you had any idea how-"

"Shut up!" She stands up as well, gripping the edge of the table. "You...! You _know_ how I feel about that! I don't want your excuses! Why on Earth did you do that?!"

"I think I would've come to my senses before I managed to do anything. It's not easily done. Especially not with a-a human. I'm honestly not even sure it _can_ be done."

"But _why_? Why didn't you just talk to me? Did you think I wouldn't say yes and just reckoned you could do it anyway? Did you think you had the right to make that decision for me? _Really_?"

"No! Of course not. No! I was... Distraught. Exhausted. Confused. I've been struggling so hard, Rose, to..." he trails off, ducking his head and letting his arms fall limply to his sides. "I don't blame you if you want to leave me. Just...say the word and I'll set the coordinates for the Powell Estate."

She's taken aback by how defeated he suddenly seems. "Is this...is this why you let me go? Why you didn't try to make me stay?"

He nods.

"But you... Why did you...?"

"You were right that night. I've not been good to you so I thought you deserved better and I let you go, but I... I couldn't stand..." He shrugs. "I'm selfish."

She swallows, feeling her heart beating hard in her chest. "What else?"

He looks up at her in confusion. "What?"

"What else did you do? I can't... You tell me everything now! I can't stand another round of confessions, you hear? Just tell me now!"

He nods, staring into the food he still hasn't touched. "I...ehm...I stalked you for a week."

She tries to suppress but doesn't quite succeed. "You what?"

"We got worried. Thought you were in trouble, so Mickey and I... Well, we spent a week making sure. Only when you left for work and came home. Nothing else. I just couldn't... You looked so sad but every time you reached the house..."

She sighs. "I was trying to make Sarah Jane think I was doing all right." Chuckling, she grabs her bottle to take a sip or two. "I'm actually not surprised. And I... I used to do the same, yeah? With Jimmy. He was known locally and me and my girlfriends thought he was so fit. We stalked him a little so we could make sure to run into him 'naturally'. Granted, I was sixteen and you're really old, but... That's typical you." Shaking her head, she smiles tenderly. "My weird little alien. You didn't spy on me through my window or anything, right?"

"Of course not!"

"Well then... Oh, dunno. Pales in comparison of... Anyway. What else? Just keep it coming, yeah?" She takes a long pull of her beer. "I'm ready."

"I, ehm, I kissed you."

Touching her lips, she shakes her head in disbelief over his confession. "You...when?"

"When I removed the vortex from you. I could've made the connection some other way but... I didn't want to. I was going to die either way, so I reckoned..." He shrugs.

"Because of...because of me," she croaks. She thought she made her peace with that months ago but a fresh wave of guilt washes through her body.

He looks up at her, eyes burning. "I would do it again. Without hesitation."

"No. I killed you."

He's by her side in an instant, holding her hands. "No. Don't ever think that. You saved me. So many times before and so many times since."

She tries to swallow down the lump in her throat. "What else?"

"Jack." He's quiet for a moment and she holds her breath, waiting for whatever awful news he's about to share. "You did something to him as Bad Wolf. He's a fixed point in time and it makes my skin crawl. I can't... I can't stand being near him. Like-like I'm allergic! So...I left him behind."

"You left him behind?" she repeats, voice barely more than a whisper. Her nostrils widen as anger flares up in her. "Oh, I could slap you, I could! He must _hate_ us! I..." Taking a deep breath, she tries to calm down. The Doctor might be wearing his impassive mask, but his shoulders are slumped and he looks like he's close to giving up. The sight tugs at her heartstrings but she needs to hear all of it. "What else?"

"Nothing else."

"You sure?"

He furrows his brow, seemingly mulling it over for a second. "Yes. Nothing else."

Nodding, she wipes her nose with her hand. "This is a lot to take in. I need..." She inhales roughly and stalks out of the galley, feeling like she's burning up inside and knowing that she'll say something she'll regret unless she walks away.

She sags down to the floor once she's out in the corridor, exhaling the deep breath she took after she shouted at him. She wraps her arms around her knees and leans her head against the wall, trying to understand what he just told her. Her thoughts wander back to his previous confession and how she made sure he knew she still loved him, even though she was furious with him. She knows there's a great risk that he, if he feels rejected, will retreat further into himself and make it harder for her to help him open up in the future. He's always been like that: either he explodes or he grows cold, distant and silent. It's even worse now that he's a no-second-chances kind of a man.

This was yet another thing she would never have known about had he not chosen to tell her and, even though she's still livid, she does appreciate that. However, if she keeps yelling at him, he'll be too scared of getting burned to ever open up to her again. So, she gets up, walks back into the galley and, choosing the chair beside him, pulls it out to sit down. Her impulse is to seek comfort in his embrace and it strikes her how isolated she is when the only person she can turn to is the one she's currently angry with; so, she keeps her physical distance but lets some warmth into her voice.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"Don't... Don't apologise to me, Rose. Your reaction was...well... To be honest, I suppose I expected something worse."

"Yeah... Thanks for telling me."

He tugs at his ear. "Ehm, you're very welcome."

"I'm still angry with you. This isn't...this isn't over. I just... We need a proper chat about all of this, but I just need to see my mum first. I need mum. I can't... I need her."

She does. She needs her mum a lot right now, but that's not the only reason. She never told the Doctor but, after seeing parallel Jackie being cybernised, Rose was scared of going home. As long as they kept travelling, she could pretend all was well, but now it is time to stop running from her irrational fears.

"Of course. Do you-do you want to finish your meal?" She shakes her head. "Okay, well, ehm, I'll... I'll set the coordinates."

Grabbing her plate and her bottle, she gets up and puts it in the sink since she knows the TARDIS will take care of it. She pats the coral walls as thanks and makes her way to the console room to wait for the Doctor on the jump seat. She's infuriated with him and, knowing her own temper and how easy it is for her to get into a screaming match, she thinks it's best to avoid him for a while so she can calm down and collect her thoughts and emotions. She still feels horrible about all the rows they had when he was Northern and doesn't want to resume that aspect of their relationship. However, she also feels horrible since she knows how plagued by guilt he must be over this; so, when he finally joins her in the console room, she gets up and wraps her arms around him.

"I feel like... I just want to snuggle up with you, yeah? I want you to comfort me and that's just wrong when you're the one who... And I'm so angry and I'm scared that-that I'll just push you against the wall and snog you and, well..." She blushes. "I'm glad you stopped me when I tried to kiss you. I'm not ready for this. _We're_ not." She tucks some hair behind her ear. "But I'm not leaving, you know that, right? I'm never leaving-"

He extracts himself from her embrace. "Don't make promises, Rose."

Taking his hand, she pulls him back to her. "I won't ever leave you as long as you promise that you'll stop making my decisions for me."

"I can't... If your life depends on it, if you...if I can keep you safe, I will do what I have to do. But...regarding everything else then, yes, I promise. I won't, Rose. I won't ever. And if..." His Adam's apple bobs as he averts his eyes. "I meant what I said. If you never become ready... I still want you to stay."

"Yeah, me too. And I..." She cups his cheek. "And I'm still yours, even if I never... Only me and you, yeah?"

He nods at her and they look into each other's eyes for a moment, reaching a silent understanding, before he gives her a smile and walks up the console. He makes the time ship materialise inside Jackie's living room within five minutes and, after exiting the TARDIS, Rose instantly falls into her mum's embrace. Tears well up in her eyes and she's overcome with the need to be coddled for a while so, when her mum goes back into the kitchen to make them tea, Rose turns to the Doctor.

"I'm sorry, but I just... I want a moment alone with mum, all right? Can you stay in the TARDIS for the night?" He nods but looks stricken and she feels awful about shutting him out. She's trying her hardest to act as a mature adult, but she's still so angry and confused that it requires a lot of energy and focus on her part. She has to stay away for at least a day to prevent herself from doing or saying something rash. "Thanks. I'll see you later."

She gives him one more hug before watching him walk into the TARDIS, leaving her alone with her mum for the first time in much too long.

Her mum comes out to the living room with a cup each for Rose and the Doctor. "Where did he go, then?"

"We're having a row." Sighing, Rose sits down on the sofa and curls her legs up under her.

Placing the cups on the table, Jackie sits down beside her and puts her free arm around Rose. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. What about?" She gestures with her free hand. "Are you still having your little...?"

"What? Oh. No, no, we're together now. Properly."

Jackie beams at her. "That's good! I'm so happy for you sweetheart. Oh, all couples have rows, Rose. It's not the end of the world."

Rose chuckles. "Well... Not this time."

Knitting her brow, her mum inspects her features. "What is it? I can tell something's wrong."

"It's Mickey. He's...he's not gone home, mum. We landed in this parallel world, yeah? Pure accident. Not even the Doctor knows how. And Mickey decided to stay. But we can never go back. We can never... Oh, mum, we'll never see him again."

Her mum looks like she doesn't quite understand what Rose is telling her, but her parental instincts must kick in because she pulls in her daughter for a comforting hug. "Never?"

"No."

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

Rose pulls back so she can see her mum. "He...God, this is gonna sound so mental. He met his gran. She was alive in that world."

Her mum scrunches up her face. "I don't get it."

"S'like an alternative universe. Sort of like ours but not really. Like-like a mirror world? Dunno how to explain it. So, their Mickey was there. Well, was called Rickey, he was. But he died so our Mickey reckoned... Well, he doesn't have anyone here, does he?"

"I suppose... He has missed his gran, bless his poor little heart. He was so lonely. Must be nice for him to have her back."

Rose smiles, leaning in for another hug and relaxing in her mum's embrace. There's something comforting about how Jackie accepts things for what they are instead of further complicating them.

"But...what did that Doctor of yours do, then?"

"Nothing, mum. S'just culture clash, okay?"

Her mum lowers her voice. "Was it something-something weird? _In bed_."

Rose laughs. "Mum! Give it a rest, yeah? The shagging is normal. Really good but normal, okay?"

Her mum makes a face. "Yeah, yeah, all right. But..."

"No! Shut it!" Rose says, pointing her finger at her mum and smiling. "Anyway, reckon it'd do me good to stay with you for a day or two, yeah?"

"I think that's a good idea, sweetheart." Her mum pats her hand. "Sometimes all you need is a little space. And I'm not talking about that kind," she clarifies, pointing out of the window at the night sky.

Her mum is right and, as the evening turns into night, Rose feels the anger leave her system. Their relationship survived him changing every cell in his body and it will survive this as well. They just need to learn how to communicate _before_ they do stupid mistakes.

* * *

The next day, all three of them go to Mickey's flat to clear it out. Jackie manages to manipulate the Doctor into doing most of the lifting by teasing him about his lithe frame, making him eager to prove his superior strength. It takes him hours to catch on, despite his magnificent Time Lord brain. It's a great reminder of what a good team they are and how much fun they have together, working and chatting like this. Leaving the last of the boxes in a rented storage unit, they decide to go to the park to sit in the grass and eat ice cream. Well, Jackie sits on a bench and chats up a stranger but the Doctor spreads his coat out on the ground for him and Rose. It reminds her of New Earth and how they haven't done much of this lately. There's been so much drama and she longs for things to be good again.

Knowing how conflicted she was herself, she can imagine the turmoil of thoughts and emotions coursing within him during their arrangement. She was at least fairly sure he loved her back, albeit in his own alien way, and she was certain of and comfortable with her own feelings. However, she now knows that he believed he was alone in his feelings and that he tried to suppress them to save himself from hurt. He hasn't said anything to hint at it, but she reckons he must have felt used, just as she did when she thought he had fallen in love with Reinette. He probably thought she was sexually frustrated after travelling with him for a year and welcomed his advances because of it. Her heart beats a little harder for her Doctor and she feels awful for not recognising his torment earlier. So, she decides to forgive him for his mistake and try to understand what it was that drove him so desperate for a permanent connection in the first place.

"How was it done? The mind sharing and the bonding, I mean. Was it usually like that? All instinct and...?" she asks, looking up at the clouds drifting on by.

"Yes, it's sort of like with sex. The instinct drives you but most people know when to pull back if there's a lack of response. And a bond is something one discusses before anything is done, of course, but I wouldn't be able to bond with another Gallifreyan unless they wanted it as well, either way. Well, there are rare cases of... See, you might have welcomed my presence without understanding the significance or..." She feels him shudder. "Since you're human, I'm so much stronger than you and I'm not sure if... Well, it's just as likely that I wouldn't be able to at all, as me being able to complete a bond against your wishes." Turning his head, he looks at her. "I'm very glad we didn't have to find out. Thank you...thank you for stopping me."

"So you _could_ force a bond on someone?"

"Well, if one was a lot stronger than the other mentally. But it was considered... Well, like..." he trails off, obviously not wanting to say the word out loud but she understands him. "So, it was punishable, of course."

"But you...you want a bond, right? A, uhm, a bond with consent."

He's quiet for a moment. "Yeah."

"I can't promise I'll ever want that."

"That's all right. I don't want a bond more than I..." Smiling at her, he caresses her cheek and brushes his thumb over her lip. "I'm bonded with the TARDIS. Helps quite a lot."

"Helps?"

"Yeah." He finishes his ice cream and licks his lips with exaggerated movements. "Was so used to always having the buzz of my people in the back of my mind. Suppose, it's like when you humans turn on the telly as company. She fills up the silence."

"I'm sorry," she says, stroking his arm.

"You, Rose Tyler, have nothing to be sorry about. You're a brilliant human who makes everything easier by just being by my side every day," he says, lying down and crossing his arms as a pillow under his head.

"Yeah?"

"Yep! I was married once... Never bonded with her, though. A bond is... It's the most intimate thing, Rose. You don't do that with just anyone."

Rose gets a swooping feeling in her stomach, making her feel warm and tingly. "Uhm, is your wife _anyone_, Doctor?"

He makes a face. "Weeeell. Arranged marriage, you see. Was the norm by then. Wasn't always, of course. There was a time when bonding was common and sex considered, er, normal. But then...well, marriage became all about politics and genetics."

"Politics and genetics... Must have been a romantic bunch, you lot."

"Ha! Romantic Time Lords. That would be the day."

"So you didn't love your wife, then?"

"Nope. Not like that."

"I'm sorry."

"There you go again, being all sorry." He smiles affectionately at her. "Since we didn't have to reproduce the old fashioned way it wasn't all too terrible. Not quite my thing, of course, but I can imagine worse fates. For example, court jester to King Plixplosh on Trfxcrgda." He sticks his finger into his mouth and pulls it out with a loud pop. "That-that would be awful."

"What? D'you get killed if he doesn't find you funny or something?"

"Nah. But he has the worst sense of humour. He doesn't like puns! Who doesn't like puns? Evil people, that's who. Can't trust anyone who doesn't like puns."

"Well, glad we're not living on... trrrfrrgr."

"Trfxcrgdam," he says and repeats the finger popping.

"Wait. Is that part of the name?"

"Yeah, of course! What, did you think I was just making popping sounds for the hell of it?"

"Well... Yeah. Dunno. You're really weird, you know."

"Am not!"

"Yeah, you really are."

"Take that back, Rose Tyler, or-or I'll tickle you!" He holds up his hands, wiggling his fingers at her.

"Probably the most weird person- Wait, are you a person? Is an alien rea-"

The Doctor hurls himself over her, attacking her ribs with his fingers and making her shriek with laughter. They roll around on the grass, not caring about people passing by, giving them disapproving looks. They eventually slow down, ending up with him on top of her, smiling down at her, his eyes sparkling with affection. Her body wants to kiss him but her brain screams no, scared that she won't be able to hold back if she gives in. They went about this whole thing the wrong way by lying to themselves and each other and desperately clinging to something unhealthy because they couldn't stay apart, and need to rebuild the trust.

Admittedly, she _does_ trust him to have her back and she's not scared of him neglecting her anymore, but when it comes to matters of the heart it's not as easy to be rational. She might know that he's devoted to her, but she's so scared of having her heart broken again she can't quite let go of her fears. She survived it last time, made a life for herself and tried her best to move on, but can she handle it a second time? His latest confessions only strengthened her resolve to do this properly. They need to become the Doctor and Rose once more before they can move forward.

"Oi, lovebirds! Time to go home and cook tea, you hear?" Jackie hollers from the bench, effectively breaking the mood.

The Doctor rolls off her and quickly gets up on his feet, holding out a hand to pull her up. He bends over to pick up his coat and, after putting it on, takes her hand again, entwining his fingers with hers.

Slinging his free arm around Jackie's shoulders, he asks: "So, what are we having?"

Rose clears her throat. "Actually... Was thinking I could do the cooking tonight." Jackie laughs so hard she has to clutch at the Doctor to keep herself upright. "Oi! S'not _that_ funny."

"You? Cooking?" Jackie wipes her eyes. "Oh, Doctor, if you think my cooking's bad, just you wait."

"I don't have to wait! I already know. No, Rose. No, no, no. I can do the cooking. I don't mind."

Jackie's eyes widen. "He can cook, too? Got yourself a keeper there, sweetheart."

Rose stops and puts her hands on her hips, glaring at her Doctor and her mum. "I can cook!"

"Since when?" the others say at the same time.

"Sarah Jane taught me, all right? So I want to cook tonight."

"Who's Sarah Jane?"

"An old friend of mine. Rose and Sarah have become close. We visit her sometimes."

Jackie's jaw drops. "You have friends? Blimey, would never have guessed."

"Oi! I have countless of friends. All over space. And time!" The Doctor gestures up at the sky with broad swipes of his arm. "I'll have you know, Jackie Tyler, that I'm a very popular man." Jackie snorts. "Are you trying to suggest that your daughter has poor taste, hm?"

"Everybody on the Estate knows Rose has poor taste!"

"Oi! I'm quite the catch." The Doctor adjusts his tie and then he starts listing all of his wonderful qualities as they walk back to the flat.

* * *

Rose listens to the Doctor and her mum bicker whilst preparing the ingredients she needs for her cooking. She's making the only dish she knows for certain she'll succeed with, meat, roast potatoes, gravy and vegetables, but has firmly declined any help from the others. They are left to entertain one another in the living room and, even though there are few kind words between them, Rose knows they really get along. In some ways, they remind her of siblings-which is a thought she chooses not to further explore.

She sets the table and lights a few candles, wanting this to be perfect since she's never cooked a meal for her bloke and her mum before. Smoothing out her apron, she calls out that tea's ready but the Doctor and Jackie approach the kitchen table with some hesitance.

Sniffing the air, the Doctor leans closer to Jackie. "Smells rather good, though, doesn't it?"

"Reckon it does," she admits, suspiciously eying the dishes. "This Sarah Jane. Is she human, then?"

"Yeah, mum." Rose rolls her eyes. "Just sit down and eat, yeah?"

She has already loaded their plates with food and filled their glasses with fizzy water, so she sits down and leans back in her chair, waiting for them to give her praise.

The Doctor pushes a buttered carrot around on his plate before cutting a piece of his meat. He pierces it onto his fork and holds it up as he slips on his specs, inspecting the morsel with great care. "Hm..."

Jackie pokes her meat with her finger. "Texture's good." She turns her attention to the potatoes. "Nice colour..."

Rose glares at them. "Oh, my god. Just eat it, will you? S'not like you're Gordon Ramsay, now, is it, mum?"

"Oi! I'm a decent enough cook!"

"Here goes nothing." The Doctor moves his fork closer to his mouth. ""Please make me ginger this time. Please make me ginger this time."

"Doctor! You're not gonna regenerate from my cooking!"

The Doctor's eyes widen from surprise as he tastes the meat. "Rose? This-this..." He shovels some potatoes and vegetables into his mouth, chewing with vigour. "Rose Tyler!" Smiling, he stands up, leans over the table and plants a sloppy kiss on her forehead.

Wiping his saliva and, yes, a bit of potato off her brow, Rose asks: "Good, then, I take it?"

"This," he points at the plate with his fork, "is the best meal I've ever had."

She knows he's exaggerating because she is his and he is proud over her, but she can't help but blush and beam at him. "Really?"

"Really?" Jackie parrots, shrugging and sticking some food into her mouth.

"Oh, yes! You've been holding out on me! Why have I been the one cooking for weeks, now, if you've been able to do this?"

Rose grins, tongue poking out between her teeth. "I like it when my little alien cooks for me."

They continue to eat with gusto, chatting and laughing all night, until Rose feels ready to go home to the TARDIS. Once they're inside the console room, she tells the Doctor that her cooking won't be a frequent occurrence on the TARDIS. This was just her way of letting her mum have a home cooked meal without having to spend hours slaving away in the kitchen. She chose not to say anything since her mum always wants to do everything herself and take care of others and therefore is rather hard to spoil if one makes a big deal out of it.

"Oh, right. Didn't think of that," he says, sitting beside her on the jump seat with his feet propped up on the console.

"It's okay. Thanks, though, for having a domestic evening with me and mum. Who would've thought it, huh?" She playfully nudges him in the side with her elbow.

"Well, it's not like it's the first time I've had tea at your mother's!"

Chewing her lip, she looks at him thoughtfully. "Yeah, I know, but it's different now, innit?"

He nods slowly. "Yeah."

"Is that okay?"

"Yeah."

She takes his hand in hers, brushing her thumb over his. "Good."


	22. Slowly

**Warning: NSFW**

* * *

The weeks that follow his many recent confessions pass by smoothly, but, even though they grow closer each day, Rose is still maintaining some distance between them. What he almost put her through was unforgivable on his planet and, since he respects her choice to slowly move forward, he has kept their physical contact to a minimum. Well, hand holding and post-danger hugs are a necessity, but other than that... Unfortunately, the result is tension begins to brew between them and neither seem to know what to do about it, other than the obvious.

Rose usually goes to bed around ten, but tonight she stays on the jump seat long after her bedtime to keep him company whilst he tinkers. They have just bested the Wire and she seemed to be handling everything well during the block party. However, as he notices her trying to stifle yet another yawn, he realises she's not as fine as she pretends to be and suggests they start sharing a bed once more. He still has some of his pills and knows he won't have any trouble keeping himself in line. She quietly hums in agreement, so he pulls her up from the jump seat and leads them down the corridor to her bedroom to get ready for bed. He realises, as they curl up together, how much he's missed doing this with her and he's thankful he found the courage to suggest they continue their old habit. Rose is now draped across his chest, making him sigh contentedly as he drifts off to sleep with a wide grin on his face.

Every five days, he shows up in her room dressed in his jimjams, ready for bed, and the tension soon begins to fade. The attraction is certainly still there, but they are relaxed enough in their relationship that they're once again comfortable with physical contact. However, when they land on an impossible planet, lose the TARDIS and get assigned one of the tiniest bunks the Doctor has ever seen, tension creeps back into his system and settles in his shoulders and jaw. The solution to his problematic body is hidden inside his lost time ship and he vows to keep his pills a secret from her because he's afraid she wouldn't understand.

Sadly, the bed-sharing isn't the only thing haunting him. The loss of his time ship is one of the worst things to ever happen to him and he desperately fights against giving in to his feelings of despair. His brave Rose tries to keep his spirits up, oblivious to the extent of his efforts to conceal his internal struggle. She's lying on the narrow bed, picking at her nails, whilst he sits on the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest. He knows she wants him to stay for the night and he honestly needs the comfort and rest just as much as she does, but he's scared of how his body will react.

"What are you doing?" Rose looks bemusedly at him and pats the empty space beside her. "Come to bed."

"Right. Yep. Bed." He tugs at his ear. "Just gonna..."

Hoping she'll fall asleep if he takes his time, he slowly removes his suit jacket, tie and shirt before folding them with great care and placing them on the nightstand. He then unties his plimsolls instead of kicking them off as he usually does and removes his socks, rolling them into two balls and stuffing them into his shoes. Unfortunately, Rose is still wide awake when he slips into bed. He lies on his back, staring up at the ceiling, and she curls into his side and rests her arm across his chest. He'll get through this if he focuses on his breathing and thinks about Jackie Tyler, Slitheen farts, Rassilon's underpants and-

"I didn't mean..." Rose says, sighing and bringing him out of his thoughts. "I only meant that we should stick together, yeah? That I don't care if you have a ship or not, I wanna be with you anyway. Didn't mean I want a house and all that."

"Oh, I know," he says, caressing her hand. "You and me."

"Yeah, you and me. You'll find her, though."

He chuckles. "Is that so?"

"Yep. You'll find her and when you do you'll build a remote control for her. This is the second time in less than a year that you've been stranded, Doctor." She pokes him in the chest. "Remote. Control."

"I'm not so sure I will f-"

"Hush, you. You will. I believe in you." She whispers into his ear with a spooky voice: "Remooooote controooool."

He giggles at her and the way her breath tickles his ear. "All right, all right. Once we're back in the TARDIS, I, the Doctor, will build a remote control. Cross my hearts."

"Good."

She wraps his arm around her and pulls him closer when she rolls over on her side. Oh. Well, that's definitely not good. How is he going to control his body's response to her when they're spooning? She's warm and soft, smells wonderful and the comforting beats of her heart thump against his chest and hand. His cock twitches so he shifts a little to create room between them, but the bed is narrow and his movements only make things worse. He's so scared of getting an erection, and thus showing her his disgusting lack of control, that every time he tries to picture something very unsexy, all he sees his himself ravishing her right here in the bunk. He's hard in a matter of seconds and there's no way in bleeding hell that she can't feel it. Holding his breath, he stiffly waits for her to scold him, laugh at him or... Well, no, Rose wouldn't laugh, would she? Not like-

"Doctor?"

"Hm?" He winces at the squeakiness in his voice.

"I don't mind, all right? I can feel how stiff you are. Oh!" She lets out a hearty laugh. "Didn't mean it like that! I swear." She giggles some more and, since he can tell it's not out of nervousness or spite, he relaxes. "Just meant that it's normal, yeah? Blokes usually get hard when you spoon."

He blinks a few times. "They-they do?"

"Yeah. Didn't you know?"

"Well... Erections and spooning haven't really been two of the most common topics in my life. So, ehm, you don't mind, then?"

She chuckles. "My bloke finds me attractive. Oh, what a shame. Yeah, I think I'm gonna cry myself to sleep."

"Oh," he breathes out, feeling more than a little silly.

"You know what? I lost my virginity like this."

"You lost your virginity by shacking up with a homeless Time Lord on an impossible planet beneath a black hole? Blimey, what a coincidence."

She lightly elbows him in his stomach. "No. I lost my virginity by shacking up with a prat of a musician in a motel room when I was sixteen. We were lying just like this and then he..."

The Doctor only listens with one ear as Rose shares with him how Jimmy Stone seduced her one rainy October night. He's too busy thinking about how easy it is to control his actions now that he knows Rose isn't ready for more and how little an erection matters when she views it as natural. So, finally feeling comfortable, he nudges her hair aside with his nose and brushes his lips across her neck before he settles behind her and leans his head on the pillow. She keeps talking, laughing about how inadequate Jimmy was in bed and how she was so clueless back then that it didn't matter much to her. He has almost fallen asleep when he hears her ask, rather casually, about his first time.

"Oh. Well." His voice is thick from slumber so he clears his throat. "Ehm, I had this friend, my best friend, growing up. Sex or romantic love weren't really thought of as productive or-or proper. Wasn't forbidden, mind you, but not encouraged either and not talked about other than in clinical terms for educational purposes and mostly about other species. Like, ehm, a nature show on telly, I suppose. And, er, we, ahem... We were both curious, so we experimented. Together. I never took the initiative. Was always him. During excursions or in a," he lets out a quiet laugh, "broom closet or, well, somewhere hidden so that we wouldn't get caught. We never talked about it. Always pretended it was..." He shrugs. "Anyway, didn't last for long because I... Well, I was driven more by curiosity than lust or-or love and grew tired of it. I realised a long, long time afterwards that he was in love with me." He knits his brow and swallows. "Or love might not be right... Almost obsessed, he was. Anyway, he was my first. Don't really need to go into detail on the very first time, do I?"

She laughs. "Nah, not if you don't wanna. Do you regret it?"

"No. Wish I had known how he felt, I suppose," he says, snuggling closer.

"That's good, though, not regretting."

"Yeah... Do you?"

"No. Wish it would've been better, yeah, but I don't regret it."

He's quiet for several heartbeats, wondering if he should ask what he's sure they both are thinking. "And...and what about...?"

"No." She spins around to face him. "Never. It was... Yeah, okay, it wasn't perfect or romantic but, Doctor..."

Her eyes are dark and fathomless, lips parted and wet and, as the scent of her arousal hits him, he knows she's reliving the moment in her mind. She's panting, he's holding his breath and both are lost in one another's eyes, waiting for the other to do something. Rose breaks out of it first by resuming her previous position, but she continues to hold his arm in place across her body and weaves her fingers with his.

"Rose?"

"Yeah?"

"I...I don't regret it either. Wish I had been braver, though, but no regrets."

She cuddles closer and the wiggling of her bum makes him grow harder still but, since she says she's not offended by his body's reaction to her, he ignores the throbbing and soon they're both sleeping.

* * *

The last day was overwhelming to say the least. He thought he lost his home and hours later, when he heard the rocket leave Krop Tor, he thought he lost Rose as well; however, now he's standing in the console room of his ship with his Rose, barely believing his luck. She's smiling but he can tell she's shaken, so he decides to share a thought that struck him whilst he was stuck in the pit, regretting a lot of things.

"Rose? I, ehm, I have something..." Rubbing his neck, he clears his throat and, as he sees her looking nervous, he realises she must assume he has another confession to make. "Ithinkweshouldshareabedroom." He bounces a little on the balls of his feet. "Mine, though."

She shakes her head in disbelief. "I'm sorry. Did you just ask me to move in with you?"

"Weeeeell. Yeah. When I sleep I always sleep with you. Silly, really, to keep separate bedrooms, don't you reckon? And I don't... Well, your room is very," he grimaces and gestures wildly, "colourful. It's not very calming, is it? Mine's much better. Blue slows down the heart rate and reduces blood pressure, you know, whilst your very pink room-as lovely as it is-is much too stimulating to help you achieve your eight hours of undisturbed sleep."

"Might be wrong, but I'm fairly sure I don't get my sleep because of a bored Time Lord always insisting on waking me up too early..."

"My bed is larger as well and my mattress... Well, my mattress, Rose Tyler! It's like sleeping on clouds. Well, if you could actually sleep on clouds. Which you can on Countus Bix, but that's neither here nor there. The TARDIS might spoil you a little, but it's nothing compared to how she spoils her old Time Lord." He turns to one of the coral struts and pats it fondly. "Isn't that right, Sexy?"

"Hold on. Did you just call-"

He spins around. "Or! Yes! We could choose a new one! Ehm, together, of course. We could choose one together and move into it. Together. You and I. The old team. Sheet sharing bed buddies!" She tilts her head, curious look in her eye, but he just grins and prattles on, "And your clothes would hang next to my suits and your stuff would be next to my stuff!" He mimics placing things next to one another. "Very convenient, that. And your toiletries would be next to mine and we'd share a bath and... No!" His eyes widen. "No, no. Didn't mean like that. Although..." Zoning out for a second, he imagines himself and Rose covered in bubbles and lying in a bathtub. "Once- If! If you're ready, then... Yes, I mean it like that." He grins again, too toothy and somewhat stiffly, but she grins back so he relaxes and waggles his eyebrows. "So... What do you say, Rose Tyler?"

Crinkling her nose, she pretends to hesitate. "Dunno, really..." Pouting, he gives her his best wounded expression. "Yeah, all right." She links her arm with his. "C'mon, then, bed buddy. Let's go get ourselves a new bedroom."

"Brilliant!"

The Doctor suspects the TARDIS approves of their decision, because the first door they open leads to a bedroom that seems tailor made for them. Rose hurls herself on the bed and, grabbing the quilted silk bedspread, rolls around until she has cocooned herself.

"This feels lovely! There's just something about silk against your skin, don't you reckon?" She sits up, drops the bedspread and bounces on the mattress. "Oooh. Is this like the one you have? It's really comfy. C'mon!"

His hearts are pounding in his chest as he sits down on the edge of the bed. He knows she's still not ready, but seeing her crawling around in a bed that they will share makes him feel all funny inside. Mostly a good kind of funny, but there's also a smidgen of uncertainty there along with a sliver of fear.

"Yeah. It's the same kind as I have."

She grabs his hand in an effort to make him lie down beside her, but he uses her hold against her and pulls her off the bed.

"Don't you want to check out the rest of the room, hm?" he says to distract both of them.

"Yeah, 'course!"

She opens the door to the walk-in closet with a loud 'oooooooh'. The TARDIS has already moved all of their clothes and it tugs at something deep inside him when he sees her trainers next to his chucks and her scarves next to his ties. It was one thing to imagine it and another thing entirely to see it become real. He runs his fingers over the rows of dress shirts, hoodies and jackets and barely registers her leaving his side. His mouth suddenly feels dry, so he licks his lips and swallows as he pulls out one of the drawers in the large dresser. Inside, he finds her underwear, neatly folded and organised according to colour and material. Cottons and silks; lacy, sheer and plain; patterns, day-of-the-week and solid colours. He touches a pair of black knickers and rubs the soft material between his fingers, wondering if he'll ever remove them from her body. He lifts them up to his face without thinking but then he hears a squeal, effectively breaking whatever spell he was under.

He drops the knickers, closes the drawer and goes out into the bedroom. The door to the en suite is wide open, so he walks over and pops his head in to take a look around.

Positively beaming, Rose grabs his arm and pulls him inside. "Oh, my god, Doctor! This is gorgeous! Look at the size of that thing!" Jumping up and down, she points at the enormous round tub in the back of the room. It practically screams at them to take romantic baths with champagne, rose petals and all those other things the Doctor has seen in movies.

"Think the TARDIS is trying to tell us something, huh?" Grinning, Rose nudges him in the side with her elbow and he doesn't quite know how to respond; however, before he's had time to come up with something Rose breaks out a long yawn. "Blimey, I'm knackered. Let's go to bed, yeah?"

"Ehm. I slept last night, Rose."

Her jaw drops and she puts her hands on her hips, glaring at him. "You're not letting me go to bed alone the first night of our new bedroom, are you? And not after...not after all of that..." She runs her tongue over top lip and squares her jaw. "Not after what happened on that planet."

"No. No, of course not."

"Good!" She turns to the double sinks placed in front of a large wall mirror. "Gotta love a sentient ship. Look, everything's already here!" She grabs her toothbrush and some toothpaste to start her evening routine.

He positions himself behind her, wraps his arms around her waist and rests his chin on her shoulder, watching their reflections in the mirror. The events on Krop Tor has left her looking exhausted, but her eyes are twinkling and she seems relaxed so he can't help but smile at her. He has to admit to himself that they look good together. They look _right_. He releases her when she grabs some makeup remover to wash her face and he sits down on the bench conveniently located at the opposite wall. Sometimes he likes to brush his teeth and do the whole human thing, but tonight he settles on just watching her. It's hardly the first time he's seen her do all of this, but it's different now and it leaves him feeling flummoxed.

She pats her face dry and shoos him out of the en suite so she can use the loo. He spends a whole minute feeling lost before deciding to turn down the bed, but stops when he notices the TARDIS has placed his jimjams and one of Rose's nightgowns on the bedspread. He's taken aback and realises that he might not have thought this through very well but, before he has a chance to think about where they will change, Rose comes out of the en suite. His hearts almost stop when he sees her unceremoniously stripping off _all_ of her clothes and slipping into the nightie. He saw her naked body every day for months, but always in the dark where she couldn't see his reaction. He feels his cheeks heat up and has no idea what to do with his hands so he tugs at his ear, rubs his neck and finally shoves both hands deep into his pockets before remembering he'll need them if he's going to change.

Cursing the TARDIS telepathically for taking liberties, he grabs the jimjams she laid out for him and stalks over to the walk-in closet for privacy. His hands tremble slightly as he unbuttons his shirt and takes his time folding his clothing before returning to the bedroom. Rose is already snuggled up under the covers, smiling at him and looking very inviting. He slips into the bed next to her and she grabs his hand, tugging him closer and hugging his arm. He gives his time ship a silent command to slowly dim the lights as he tries to make himself comfortable and calm down.

It strikes him how very domestic all of this is and it leaves him feeling conflicted. It's too much too soon. Not that he regrets his suggestion, but it's making him realise they're a couple. A couple that shares a home and have more or less promised each other forever. On a lot of planets that constitutes a marriage.

_Marriage_.

That's a very big and important word. Granted, he's always wanted others to know Rose belongs to him so much so that he nearly bonded with her once before in a moment of blind passion. He can't help but reflect upon these sudden changes, as he's lying still in a dark, quiet and brand new room, and it strikes him how it's never been quite real up until now. Panic slowly creeps into his system; it consumes his thoughts and reminds him of the fact that he has two legs that are perfectly capable of running fast and far. He finds it increasingly difficult to breathe and his respiratory bypass system seems to be on the fritz; his heartbeats increase their pace, adrenaline starts pumping throughout his body and he's just about to jump out of the bed and flee when he feels a warm hand on his cheek.

Rose gently turns his head to face hers and two seconds later the Doctor feels her lips softly pressing against his. _Oooh_. His eyes flutter shut as he enjoys their chaste but oh-so-perfect first _real_ kiss. His brain goes blissfully blank for a moment before his mind and body catch up with what's happening. He adds a little pressure, feels the tiniest bit of moisture from her lips and tastes her toothpaste as well as a hint of the lipstick she wore earlier in the day. She brushes his sideburn with her thumb and releases his lips, so she can give him a quick peck before snuggling back into his side.

"Night, Doctor."

Holding her tightly, he kisses the top of her head and breathes in her sweet scent. He is beaming and feeling pleasantly warm inside. Happy. Content. Just right.

"Good night, Rose."

* * *

Rose's legs are entwined with the Doctor's, her head is pillowed on his chest and her arm is draped across his stomach. She feels his erection against her body and she instinctively rocks her hips before she realises what she's doing and instantly stops. She quickly opens her eyes, scared that she'll find him awake and feeling rejected but luckily he's still asleep. She looks around the unfamiliar room, feeling confused for a moment before she remembers yesterday and how they moved in together and shared their first kiss. Blushing and smiling, she touches her lips and replays the moment in her mind.

It was a long time coming but, after spending months strictly playing by his rules, taking the initiative for a kiss seemed so much bigger than it really was. The longer she waited, the harder it was for her to overcome. However, as she lay beside him last night and felt tension radiating from him, her instincts told her to kiss it better, so to speak, and it worked. He instantly relaxed and, as she drifted off, she felt happier than she could ever remember feeling.

The Doctor turns in his sleep and places his arm around her, moving his hips against hers. He's still hard, a small smile is playing on his lips and he moans softly before fluttering his eyes open.

"Mmmm morning." He stretches out, looking so adorably tousled that she can't help but run her fingers through his hair.

"Morning. Sleep well?"

"Yeah. Long time since I've slept two nights in a row." He says, rubbing his eyes. "Suppose I needed that." He regards her for a moment before his eyes flit down to her lips. "Last night..." Blushing, he averts his eyes but quickly returns his gaze, looking determined. "May I kiss you?"

"Uhm..." She giggles, tongue poking out between her teeth. "You kinda spoil the mood when you ask for permission, you know?"

"Oh." He grins. "Well then." He takes a deep breath, rolls over on his back and folds his arms under his head.

"Oi!" She sits up and leans over him so she can brush her lips against his. "Morning."

"Mmm. Morning," he mumbles against her mouth.

She leaves a trail of tiny kisses across his lips. "We've said that already."

"Have we?"

"Mmm. Doctor?"

"Mm?"

"Have you ever done this before?" she whispers.

"Ehm...which?"

"Well... You know. Well, _this_. Living together like this. Having a relationship. Kissing her good morning after you've woken up in the bed you share."

"Ah. No."

"Not ever? But...not even with your wife?"

"No, we never shared a bed and we definitely didn't kiss. Well, might have been the occasional air kiss but, really, those are just silly, aren't they?"

"How about...well you said that you've been devoted to women."

"Besides my wife, whom I was never devoted to emotionally, there have only been two before you. Told you about the first one and, well, the second one..." he trails off and chuckles.

"What?"

He casts her a quick glance and she thinks it looks like he's searching for something in her eyes, but she has no idea what it is so she just meets his gaze steadily until he breaks it. Sensing that it might be easier for him if he doesn't have to face her as he opens up, she lies down again and snuggles into his side but it still takes him a long moment to start speaking.

"Well...she was a Time Lady. A good one, at that." Chuckling, he shakes his head. "I, ehm, I wanted her, of course-intimately, I mean-since that was allowed. Told you, didn't I? Wasn't allowed with humans but amongst ourselves... Well, she didn't want to so we never... She, ehm, she-she laughed at me when I brought it up. Made me feel..." He clears his throat and he doesn't have to finish that sentence for her to suspect exactly how he was feeling: disgusting, stupid and wrong. The thought of him suffering from such a cruel rejection makes her heart clench, so she strokes his chest to show her support and offer some comfort.

"It wasn't out of malice, Rose. She wasn't... She was a lovely woman but... You must understand how preposterous it sounded to her, to be-to be propositioned like that. Would be like me asking you to do something really kinky, I suppose. Something that isn't wrong, per se, but generally considered, well, nasty. Like, oh I don't know, urinating on each other? Mind you, on some planets that's the most loving thing you can do to your spouse. It's all about point of reference, innit? But when something is so ingrained in you... That it's wrong and it's... She, well, we shared a bed once, just for sleeping, and I got a-a reaction. She was shocked by my lack of control and told me that Time Lords do not succumb to carnal desires. Was my mantra for the longest time... Oh, anyway. We never. And now she's gone. They're all gone."

"Well, I'm here," Rose whispers into his ear. She finds his hand and weaves her fingers with his. "And I think you are brilliant and gorgeous and perfect."

He turns his head towards her, smiling gently. "Yeah?"

"Yes."

The Doctor makes a happy noise in the back of his throat and then she feels his mouth against hers, softly kissing her and lightly sucking on her bottom lip. A shiver runs through her body and she chases after his mouth when he pulls back.

"C'mere you," she mumbles and, cupping his cheeks, brings him back to her lips.

* * *

Rose always assumed the Doctor being emotionally repressed was the main reason for his intimacy issues; admittedly, that is a big part of it but, as he opens up to her more about his past and his upbringing, she realised it was much more complicated than that. He's been ashamed of his sex drive most of his life and it explains so much about his behaviour. Rose already feels ready for the next step but, now that the rules have changed, he seems so insecure. Thinking of how he reacted once they lay in bed in their new room, she reckons that rushing things might make him regress. She doesn't want to overwhelm him and scare him away and, to be completely honest, the thought of slowly pushing the boundaries like a couple of teenagers excites her. They're getting a second chance at making their relationship right and she'll make sure they succeed.

Over the next week she keeps the kisses frequent but chaste until one night, as they lie in bed about to sleep, she decides to gently lick the seam of his lips. He opens up as he gasps so she slips her tongue into his slightly cooler mouth. He doesn't move to meet her soft prodding at first and, for a split second, she's scared that she made a mistake but, just as she's about to pull back, she feels him pressing closer to her. One of his hands finds hers and the other cradles the back of her head and she can't help but smile when their tongues finally wrestle and they spend hours exploring each other's mouths.

* * *

It's been a couple of weeks since the Doctor and Rose shared their first kiss and now they snog all the time. He usually grows hard and it feels strange to sneak off into the en suite to take care of himself once she falls asleep, but he really has no idea how blokes usually solve such issues. Most of the time he just turns his back to her so he can catch his breath and calm down a little, before cuddling closer and falling asleep. He has never told her why he does this, but she seems to understand anyway and always refrains from touching him until he turns back to her. However, tonight she snuggles closer and lays her arm around his waist, spooning him from behind . He still changes in the walk-in closet, but he's now comfortable enough with her that he skips wearing his pyjama shirt, so her hand is against his naked skin and she is running her fingers through his chest hair. It's new for them but it feels good so he hums in appreciation and relaxes under her touch but, when he feels her gentle petting turn into repeated strokes up and down his torso, he tenses up. The world closes in on him and all he hears is the rapid beating of his hearts and all he feels is how her warm hand ventures lower for every downward caress until her fingers skim his pyjama bottoms. His breath hitches when she very slowly dips her hand underneath his waistband; he hears her purr when she finds him still hard and a gasp escapes him as she wraps her fingers around him.

She sucks on the skin of his back as she starts jerking him off and his eyes drift shut when her thumb brushes over the tip, spreading droplets of pre-come. It's the first time she's ever touched him intimately and, although it feels beyond amazing, he doesn't quite know how to react. He wants to touch her back but it would require them shifting positions and he's afraid to move. He is entirely in her very capable hands but, as he hears her panting and feels movement behind him, he realises she's taking care of herself. She keeps up her steady strokes with her left hand, whilst she rubs herself with her right and he feels the knot begin to tighten in his stomach. Aside from his initial gasp, he's been completely silent up until now, but as her strokes get rougher his breaths grow louder and more erratic.

The lovely mewling sounds she's making bring him closer to his high and, when she bites into his back as she comes, his body stiffens as pleasure courses through him. He starts spilling his seed all over her hand as she pumps him through his climax, slowly decreasing her speed until he's completely relaxed in her arms. She wipes her hand on his messy pyjama bottoms, kisses the bite mark she made and rolls over to give him some privacy. He slips out of bed and grabs a fresh pair of boxers on his way to the en suite to freshen up and change. She's already asleep when he comes back so he kisses her forehead and, in his native tongue, whispers just how important she is to him as he snuggles up behind her.

* * *

"There's this asteroid bazaar I've been meaning to take you," the Doctor says, standing by the console. "Thought you could pick something up for your mother before our next visit."

She gapes at him. "Sorry? Come again? Did you just suggest that we visit mum?"

He shrugs. "Been a couple of weeks since we helped her with Elton. Reckon it's the right thing to do, making sure she's doing all right."

She pads up to him, brow knitted, and presses her wrist against his forehead. "Hm. Temperature's good. Are you sure you're feeling all right?"

"Ha, ha, very funny. I'm just... Just thinking of you. I know you like visiting her but..." He grins. "I can always wait a few more weeks if you feel like it's too soon."

"All right. We can wait a few more weeks." She gives him a tongue touched smile.

He pulls her in for a searing kiss, something he does quite often nowadays, and she reciprocates with enthusiasm. Her chest is heaving against his and his cock is twitching in response as they rock their hips together. He can smell her arousal, but she pulls back as soon as he's hard against her. Her parted lips are swollen and wet and her hooded eyes are dark and shining. She's absolutely gorgeous.

"Resume this later, yeah?" she pants and licks her lips.

He subconsciously mirrors her movement, tasting her on himself and wanting more, but he nods. "If you like."

"Yeah." She nods as well, rather emphatically at that. "Shop first, snog later," she adds with a tongue touched grin.

"As you wish."

They spend an entire day in the asteroid market tasting samples from different food stands; trying on funny-looking hats and sunglasses; buying a few exotic plants for the gardens; eating too many pastries and taking rides in a rickety roller coaster behind an abandoned factory building. It's getting dark so Rose quickly settles on a bazoolium for her mother and a lovely fountain pen in Rulbian silver for Sarah Jane before heading back to the TARDIS.

"I'm knackered." Rose holds out her hands, wiggling her fingers. "Tuck me in?"

He smiles as he lets her lead him to their room and, after she's finished with her evening routine and changed clothes, they settle into bed together. She's lying down, dressed in a nightgown, and he's sitting up, still in his suit since he's not going to sleep tonight. Thinking he'll read until she falls asleep, he picks up a book from the nightstand, but puts it down when he feels her staring at him.

"What?"

"Weren't we supposed to resume something?" Biting her lip and smiling invitingly at him, she tries to tug him down to her level.

His eyes widen. "Oh. That. Well..." He scoots down until they're facing each other and he rubs her nose with his. "Hello."

Beaming, she tugs him closer by his tie and captures his lips for a heated kiss. Their mouths seek dominance over the other, going from slow strokes to the nipping and sucking of lips and tongue. His hand drifts low on her back until his fingertips are barely touching the waistband of her knickers and she wraps her leg around his hip as they grind against one another. Pushing his erection against her heat, he finds her clit through their clothing and she releases his lips, tilts her head back and lets out a long moan.

"You know," she pants as he keeps up his motion, "what I've been thinking about all day?"

"No." He leaves a trail of kisses down her neck until he reaches her collarbone. "What?" He nibbles on the sensitive skin there and smiles as she moans again.

"Suck-sucking your cock..."

Her bold words make him stop. It's something he's often fantasised about, but the thought of it becoming real makes him feel uncomfortable, vulnerable and, quite frankly, as though he doesn't deserve it. Oh, he desperately _wants_ it but, as he imagines her moving her mouth up and down his shaft whilst watching him lose control and come undone, he becomes paralysed.

"Rose, I-" he croaks before his voice breaks.

She strokes soothing circles over his abdomen. "Shhh... S'okay. S'just you and me here. I can wear your tie, if you want. Over my eyes. And you don't need to undress. Just...scoot your trousers and pants down, yeah?" Her hand drifts down to the juncture where his hip meets his thigh and lightly scratches the material of his trousers. "You can just relax, okay? Just..."

He's amazed by her instincts and when she gets up on her knees, reaches for his tie and works the knot until she can slide it free, he finds himself letting her. After tying it around her head and over her eyes, her hand drifts down his body until she's cupping him through his trousers. She's given him a couple of handjobs in the dark by now, but her touch combined with the knowledge of what she plans on doing next is enough to make his mouth go dry and hearts beat fiercely.

"Is this okay?" she whispers, hand hovering over the fastening of his trousers. "Uhm... If you're nodding right now, I can't see you, remember? Just... Squeeze my hand once for yes and twice for no."

He takes her free hand, gives it one firm squeeze and her face splits into a wolfish grin. She quickly unzips his fly and tugs down his pants, freeing his straining erection.

She wraps her hand around him and gives him a light squeeze. "I've waited so long for this."

Rose starts off with a few slow, steady strokes before leaning over and taking the head of his cock into her mouth. She swirls her tongue around him, sucking gently, before releasing him and kissing her way down his shaft until she reaches his sack. Sucking on it, she resumes stroking his cock whilst her hair spills over onto his thighs, tickling him.

"I, uhm, I don't much like it when blokes hold my head, okay? So...just...you know?"

He squeezes her hand and she takes his cock into her mouth again, working him with lips and tongue as her other hand cradles his balls. Transfixed by the sight of her head bobbing up and down, his jaw drops and his respiratory bypass kicks in as he forgets how to breath. When she takes in as much of him as she can and swallows around him, he can't help but gasp loudly and he doesn't miss the smile playing on her lips as she pulls back.

"This is making me so wet." She teases his frenulum with the tip of her tongue whilst quickly jerking him off with her right hand. "Mmm. You are making me so wet."

He's relieved when she resumes sucking his cock, because her talking dirty is such a turn on he's afraid he'll come all over her face without warning. That's not what he wants and he very much doubts she would enjoy it. Her mouth is so warm and soft and, even though he has quite the imagination, this is so much better than all of his fantasies combined. She sets a rhythm that will bring him to climax very soon but, when he tries to warn her by squeezing her hand, she only increases her speed. Seconds later he's pulsing into her hot mouth, bucking his hips and biting his lip as his vision goes black and all he can hear is the blood rushing in his veins. She laps at his cock as he softens, one hand tickling his balls and the other caressing the inside of his thigh.

"You taste amazing." She kisses the head. "Mmm. Want another one?"

She massages his perineum whilst sucking him before he's had a chance to say anything at all and, a few moments later, he's hard again. He's still too shy to talk but, since he wants to taste her as well, he sits up and reaches for her left hip and thigh. She acts confused so, tugging gently at her, he tries to make her rotate and, to his great relief, she seems to understand. Her lips form an 'o' and she runs her tongue over her teeth, grinning at him and nodding. She quickly pulls off her knickers and straddles him, scooting back until her sex hovers over his face and he takes a second to admire her, but it's been too long and her smell is so intoxicating that he can't wait any longer. Cradling her hips with his hands, he pushes her closer and buries his mouth in her wet folds. He nips and sucks as she works his cock and the hums she makes when he finally teases her clit with his tongue drives him wild. It won't take half as long this time, not when she's grinding her center against him like this. Wrapping his lips around her swollen bud, he sucks hard whilst flicking his tongue over it and he's surprised by how quickly her juices flood his mouth as she comes. Her shouts are muffled by his cock, since it's still deeply buried in her mouth, and that knowledge is enough to bring him so close she won't have to do much for him to follow her over the edge. Her spasms have stopped but he keeps his face at her core to breathe her in as she bobs up and down his cock. It takes no more than a couple of times before he comes in her mouth and she keeps sucking until he has completely emptied himself.

Pillowing her head on his thigh, she catches her breath for a moment. "God, you're good at that."

He doesn't say anything, still feeling too insecure even though they just did something incredibly intimate. Rose seems to understand, though, and keeps the tie on as she crawls up his body and curls around him.

"Turn down the lights, then?"

He does so and, once the room is pitch dark, squeezes her hand and she removes the tie, tossing it on the bedroom floor.

"Night, Doctor."

Still scared of talking, he kisses her forehead and holds her close as they fall asleep together.

* * *

Something's coming and it terrifies him. He can't quite sense what it is, but tonight he stayed in their room for hours just watching her sleep. It's been a few weeks since she initiated taking the next step and they're still not having intercourse, but Rose and her amazing instincts are slowly making him open up during oral sex. He's started to moan frequently and tonight she didn't wear the tie. Admittedly, she kept her eyes closed but the lights were still dimly lit. He wishes he could just let loose and not care about all of his issues, but it's so hard and he freezes up if they venture out of his comfort zone. He's impressed with how Rose is handling everything and he feels grateful to have such an understanding partner. If he ever lost her... Shaking his head to clear it from such thoughts, he whispers sweet nothings in Gallifreyan before closing their bedroom door to leave her to sleep undisturbed.

Walking out to the console room, he decides to continue tweaking the remote control function he promised to make. It works but it's very unpredictable and once activated he's never quite certain where the TARDIS will land until she's fully materialised. Thankfully, it's always within a walking distance and he supposes that's better than nothing, but he reckons it's best to try and improve on it. He's barely been working five minutes when he's interrupted by the TARDIS phone ringing.

"Hello!"

"Yes, hello? Is this... Is this the Doctor?" a woman asks.

"Weeeell. Who's asking?"

He hears the woman making an amused sound. "Fair enough. My name is Bella and I received this number from Rose Tyler. I used to be her employer."

"Ah, yes. I've heard of you. So...?"

"Well, she texted me her new number, but she's not picking up so I decided to try this one."

"I see. Rose is asleep. Can I leave her a message?"

"Well, Doctor, you're actually the person I want to talk to. There are ghosts popping up all over the world and I've received more cases than I can handle. Reckon there's something else going on..."

"Sorry? Did you say _ghosts_ all over the _world_?"

"I know how it sounds, but... Well, it's true. They're everywhere. On telly even! You are the Doctor, right? You never did confirm..."

"I am."

"Well then, Doctor. I suggest you come back to Earth."


	23. Ghosts

**Note #1**: This is unbeta'd so I hope it's readable anyway.  
**Note #2**: I don't use British English when it's Jack's POV (well, yeah, in spelling for some consistency but I don't change words like elevator and mom to lift and mum, and so on) because it just feels wrong. Just so you know that it's deliberate.

* * *

The Doctor is much too curious to wait until Rose wakes up and he knows how cranky she gets if she doesn't get her sleep, so he decides to go straight to Bella's office on his own. They can always visit later, if Rose gets upset. Luckily, the TARDIS can track the location from the phone call so he materialises directly inside Bella's office. A fit and tall, black-haired woman in her forties sits behind a fancy mahogany desk, blinking at him as she crosses her arms over her chest.

"Bit rude, innit? Just popping into a stranger's office like that."

The Doctor tilts his head to the side and sniffs. "Weeeell. Sort of my M.O."

She extends her hand without getting up from her chair and shakes his as he leans over to take it. "Bella Young. Think it's safe to assume you're the Doctor."

"Yep."

"Wish I could tell you that that," she nods at the TARDIS, "is the strangest thing I've ever seen but... In my line of work, yeah? That's nothing. I once saw a man eat himself, starting from his feet and working himself up, and then he regurgitated it all up. Fit as a fiddle! But, you know what? His-"

"His skin was purple instead of peach coloured."

"Yes! How did you know?"

"Was an Indigonian. It's a self-defense mechanism. If the act of them eating themselves doesn't shock the attacker to stop, the purple skin gives most species in the universe hives upon contact."

"Oh, yeah. Found that out the hard way. I was itching for a week!" Chuckling, Bella pulls out a drawer, picks up a stack of files and slams them on her desk. "I'd love to chat, really, you seem like a decent enough bloke, but I'm arse deep in cases. This is what I have on Torchwood. Not much, but..."

The Doctor furrows his brow. "Torchwood?"

"Yeah. It's all in the files. Just read them. One for each branch: One, Two, Three and Four." She runs her fingers over the stack of files. "One's in London, so I suggest you start there. Four seems to be missing, though..." She shrugs. "Not my problem. Here you go!"

"Ehm..." he says, making no effort to grab them.

Bella gets up from her chair, grabs the stack and shoves it into his chest. He reflexively wraps his hands around the files to prevent them from falling to the floor.

"Here. You. Go. As I said. Arse deep. So run along now and give my best to Rose." She makes a shooing motion with her hands. "Wouldn't mind you dropping by once you've solved this whole thing. Might have a bit more time on my hands then. You can help me with a case or two to return the favour," she adds with a wink.

"Ehm... All right...?"

The Doctor stares down at the files in his hands. Files. He shudders. Well, they are planning on visiting Sarah Jane, so... He will just spend a few hours more working on that remote control and maybe flip through the file on Torchwood One, and that mostly because he is rather curious, and then he will set the coordinates for Ealing. Sarah is good with files.

* * *

Sarah Jane has spent a month up North taking care of a sick friend, who doesn't have any family to help her in times of need. She returned home yesterday, exhausted, and went straight to bed. Today, ten hours after she fell asleep, she wakes up to the familiar groans of the TARDIS materialising. She's still feeling really tired so, yawning and stretching, she casts a quick glance at her alarm clock. Oh, half past eight in the morning. Worried that something's wrong, since the Doctor and Rose show up so early, Sarah Jane throws on her dressing gown over her pyjamas and goes downstairs to open the door; however, before she has made it into the hall, she notices that the time ship is parked in a corner of her living room.

"What if I had company!" she mutters to herself, waiting for her visitors to make themselves known.

The Doctor's head pops out through the door a few seconds later. "Ah! Hello, Sarah! Fancy a cuppa?"

"Good morning, Doctor. Have you parked inside my house to invite me over for tea?" she asks, eyebrows raised.

"Weeeell. You've still not really ventured beyond the console room, have you? I've changed the galley since you were my assistant... Besides, Rose is still sleeping. You know how she is. Humans..." He makes a face and then shakes his head. "Oh, well. Cuppa?"

"Sounds lovely, Doctor. Suppose I can't convince you to cook me breakfast as well, since you come barging into my house uninvited this early in the morning?" She asks and he grimaces. "Rose told me you're an excellent cook..." she adds, smiling.

His frown turns upside down. "Weeeell... I do know my way around the kitchen. Still like crêpes?"

"Very much so."

"C'mon, then!"

* * *

Nursing a cup of tea, she watches him cook them breakfast. It's lovely to just sit and listen to the time ship's discreet singing, savouring the flavour of an alien brand she never thought she would have the pleasure of tasting again. The galley has changed a lot since she saw it last and she has to admit that she likes it tremendously. The TARDIS was much colder in her time but now the colours are warm and inviting, making the time ship look as alive as she is, and the room is full of personal touches. There are a few photos of Rose, the Doctor, Mickey and a blond woman Sarah Jane assumes is Jackie, on the fridge; there's a large window with a sill is full of flower pots and a simulated view of a field in bloom; on one wall there's a few original paintings that she remembers from her time onboard and on the opposite wall there's an enlarged photo of Rose, the previous incarnation of the Doctor and a familiar-looking handsome man, standing by a large statue of Mark Harmon; in one corner there's a comfortable looking nook with a kitchen sofa, two wicker chairs and a coffee table full of magazines and a deck of cards. It's not what she would expect from the Doctor, but it looks homey and lived-in and he seems at ease.

Her eyes flit back to the photo. "I recognise that man..." Sarah Jane says, wrinkling her forehead as she tries to remember. "The smiling one next to you."

"Oh, that's Jack."

"Jack... Oh, I remember now. She never did say his name but Rose showed me a photo of the two of you the first night we met. Was he an assistant?"

"Well, he used to travel with us, but... Got separated. Rose likes to... Well, Rose loves that photo." He chuckles. "We landed in a strange little place, oh four centuries into the future, where the villagers worshipped Mark Harmon. As you can see, Jack resembles him quite a lot and he was treated like, well, a god. And Jack's...well, Jack's quite the Lothario so he was thoroughly enjoying himself, so to speak. Ahem. It was one of those rare trips when nothing bad happened at all and we had..." he trails off, shoulders slumping. "We got separated shortly after and Rose... We don't have many of the three of us, you see. She-"

"Oh, god. My eyes!" Rose interrupts as she appears in the doorway, squinting at the lights before quickly holding up her hand to shade her face.

She's dressed in a pair of pyjama shorts and a vest top, her hair is sticking out in every which way and it looks as though she's not fully awake yet. Having lived with Rose for a month, Sarah Jane knows she's barely conscious until she's had her morning cup of tea.

"Why is it so bright in here? Ugh." Rose pads up to the Doctor, wraps her arms around him and, rising on tiptoes, kisses him. "Mmm. Make her dim the lights," she murmurs.

"Rose-"

"Mmm?" She cuts him off with another kiss and her hands drift down to his bum, giving him a couple of firm squeezes. Sarah Jane suppresses a laugh as the Doctor jumps back with a squeak, looking rather flushed.

"Rose! We have company!"

She spins around, eyes widening and cheeks turning pink as she sees Sarah Jane at the table. "Oh! Sarah Jane! Sorry! Uhm. The TARDIS usually keep the lights dim for me in the mornings." Frowning, she turns back to the Doctor and smacks him on the arm. "Could've warned me!"

"How was I supposed to know you were going to..." He gestures wildly with the spatula he is holding.

Glaring at him, she opens her mouth to retort but, before anything pops out, she spins around again and points at Sarah Jane. "I have a gift for you! I'll be right back."

The Doctor instantly returns to his cooking, showing Sarah Jane quite clearly that he doesn't want her to comment on what she just witnessed so, whilst she waits for Rose to return Sarah Jane keeps sipping on her tea, enjoying the calm.

Rose bounds into the galley a few minutes later, looking a bit awkward with her hands behind her back. "I've not wrapped it. D'you want me to wrap it? I'm sure there's wrapping paper somewhere..."

Sarah Jane smiles. "No, that's quite all right, Rose."

Rose holds out her hand and in her palm there's an elegant fountain pen. "It's a, uhm, a- Oh, hold on. I need-" She skips up to the Doctor and shoves her hand into his pocket, rummaging around.

"Oi!"

"Oh, shut it. I'm only looking for some paper. Your hands are all sticky."

"Well, I'm chopping up this block of chocolate for-"

"Aha!" Rose pulls out a small notebook, grabs a pitcher from the counter and fills it with water before running back to the table. "Look. There are three crystals, yeah? Black, blue and red. You can switch colour with this little button right here. And you don't even need any ink. Just fill it with water." She screws off the top and grabs the pitcher, pouring water into the pen. "The crystal turns it into, well, not ink but something like it. See?" She scribbles on the paper and, just as she said, the water turns blue and ink-like. "Supposed to last for, like, fifty years, the vendor told me. And it's of Rulbian silver. No idea what that means, though, but it sounds posh," she says, grinning. "Reckoned it could come in handy!"

"Yes, I think it will. Thank you. I love it." Smiling, she regards Rose for a few seconds. She's a little bit flustered by the surprise visit but, other than that, the young woman seems relaxed and happy. "You two are moving things in the right direction, I take it?"

"Oh. Yeah. We're..." She ducks her head, blushing. "Everything is great. We're-we're really happy, we are. I, uhm." Leaning over the table, she lowers her voice as she says: "I've never been happier in my life. It's perfect."

Sarah Jane can see the Doctor's profile from where she's sitting and notices a wide smile spreading across his face, but he stays silent as he finishes up. He grabs three plates, carrying them as a waiter would, and places them on the table. He gives Rose a look of utter adoration as he sits down on the chair beside her and, after an insecure glance at Sarah Jane, he leans in closer to Rose, brushing a kiss on her cheek. Admittedly, it does feel rather odd seeing the Doctor head over heels for someone, but Sarah Jane is pleased and relieved to learn how sweet the couple are being with one another.

"So...to what do I owe the pleasure of having you call on me?"

"Oh, right. Ghosts!"

"Ah, yes, those."

"Ghosts?" Rose shuffles some breakfast into her mouth. "Like Gelth ghosts?"

"Nah, dunno what these are," says the Doctor and then quickly fills her in on the little he's learned, before handing her the file on Torchwood One and giving the rest to Sarah Jane. "Rose and I will go there after breakfast and you, Sarah, can research these three. I've not bothered to read those files but they were briefly mentioned in the Torchwood One file and Three's in Cardiff, Two's in Glasgow and Four... Well, Four is missing but you could drive to Cardiff. How far is that? Couple of hours?"

Raising her eyebrows, Sarah Jane stops eating and blinks at him a couple of times.

The Doctor leans closer to Rose. "Am I being presumptuous?"

"Yeah, little bit," she says, fondly patting his arm.

He rubs his neck. "Ah. Sorry, Sarah. Please? I did make you crêpes..." His grin is bordering on manic.

"I am too tired to be driving anywhere, but..." She grabs the very thin file on Torchwood Three, quickly flipping it through. "Oh, that was not a lot. There's not even a telephone number!"

"No, Torchwood seems to be quite the secret little institute."

"Ah. I will ring my contact in UNIT and get a number to these places."

"Brilliant!"

Rose puts a hand on his arm. "We have to stop by mum first."

"Why?" whines the Doctor.

"'Cause you're telling me something weird's out there, fooling people into believing they're the ghosts of loved ones! What if she thinks on of 'em is dad! I have to go see her before... Oh, dunno. You know what she's like. I'm worried, all right?"

"Oh. Yeah, all right, then. We'll drop by before heading to Torchwood One."

* * *

As soon as the Doctor saw the "ghost" in Jackie's flat, they ran back outside and to the TARDIS to investigate and, shortly after, Torchwood managed to get their dirty paws on the time ship. So now Rose, the Doctor and Jackie wait for them to stop somewhere so they can get out and see what's going on. Jackie voiced her concern about Rose's life earlier and, since they're not doing anything but hanging around in the console room anyway, she decides to give her mum a short tour. There is no better place to live than the TARDIS, as far as Rose is concerned, and it's time that her mum understood that Rose and the Doctor _do_ have a safe place to call home. It might not be settling down in the conventional meaning of the word but, as ever changing as the time ship might be, she truly is their constant.

"Doctor? Just gonna show mum our room, yeah? Maybe some other places, too, all right? You can watch the monitor or something," she says, giving him a look as to say she wants to be alone with her mum.

They've barely begun walking down the corridor before the TARDIS helpfully moves their bedroom closer to the console room, making Jackie jump back with a gasp as the door appears right before their eyes.

"Blimey! How did it do that, then?!"

"She's a she, mum, and...dunno really. I don't understand it either, but it's really convenient." She opens the door with a grin and ushers her mum into the room. "What do you think?"

Jackie's mouth hangs open and her eyes are large and round as she spins around, taking in the room. "This is your _bedroom_? It's larger than my flat!"

"Oh, you've not seen anything yet, mum." Rose chuckles. "Look here." She skips up to the walk-in-closet and opens the door, gesturing at her mum to get in. "This is just the closet for our everyday clothes, yeah? There's a whole wardrobe room as well. You should see all the different types of clothing! I can spend a whole day in there, just dressing up. Oh, mum! D'you know what we should do? The Doctor can take us to regency England, yeah, and we'll dress up and go dancing on one of those balls. You can find yourself a Mr. Darcy." She winks and bumps their hips together.

"Me with a Mr. Darcy! Wouldn't that be something?" Jackie's eyes twinkle with excitement. "You do things like that!?"

Rose shrugs. "It happens. S'not like the most common thing but, yeah, we don't always run into trouble." She pulls out the pink dress she wore when they fought the Wire. "Like this one. Wore it to see Elvis," she tells her mum, carefully leaving out the fact that they didn't actually see Elvis until on their third try.

Jackie runs her fingers over the material of the skirt. "It's beautiful, Rose. Really beautiful."

"Oh! You're gonna _love_ this!" Rose bounds over to the en-suite door and swings it open with great flourish and a loud 'ta-daaaaa'.

"What the...?" Jackie gasps, jaw nearly hitting the floor as she peers into the room. "This is the most posh loo I've seen in my whole life...and I've seen a lot of 'em." She pads up to the tub and hangs over the edge, taking a peek inside. "Rose, you have a jacuzzi."

"Oh, that's nothing. Mum, we have a pool with a grotto and a waterfall and everything! And a few of the gardens have ponds you can swim in, if you want."

"A _few_ of the... I-I need to sit down." Her mum backs up to the wall and slumps down on the bench, looking exasperated. "Yeah, why would you need to settle down? You live in a magical palace!"

Rose laughs. "Well, yeah, sort of."

"This is all..." Jackie gestures with one hand. "Lovely, it is. Really weird and alien but lovely. But I'm still... Oh, sweetheart. There's more to life than running and danger and swimming in ponds... What about children? Will I never have grandkids?"

"Mum, I don't want kids."

"That's what you think _now_, sweetheart, but ten years from now..." Smiling wistfully, Jackie gives Rose a knowing look. "Can he give you that?_Would_ he?"

"Some people don't want kids. Ever."

Her mum sighs. "I suppose."

Rose sits down on the bench beside her mum, wrapping her arm around her and leaning her head against her shoulder. "S'not too late for you, mum. Lots of people get kids in their forties now."

"Rose. Who on Earth would I have a baby with? Tried to find someone for twenty years, I did. There's no one but Pete for me." She sighs again and stands up, shaking her head. "I'll just get a new cat and then another and another, just like Mr. Stevens next door. Did you know? He dresses his up and takes photos of them! Bev told me. Apparently he has this... What did she call it? Blog or some such?"

The lights in the en suite flicker so, with an apologetic smile for being a disappointment to her mum, Rose tugs her off the bench and they walk back to the console room.

* * *

Jack Harkness is just about to get into his car and drive to a crime scene when he gets a call on his cell phone. He doesn't recognise the number but, as the person presents herself as Sarah Jane Smith, he knows exactly to whom he is talking. He has read the Doctor's file enough times to be very familiar with the tough investigative reporter.

"Well, well, nice to finally get a voice to the lovely face, ma'am."

"Pardon? Do we know each other?"

"Not yet. We have a mutual friend. Used to travel with the Doctor a while back."

"Oh?" she says, sounding not too convinced.

"Yeah. I used to be a Time Agent. Met him and his current companion Rose Tyler in London during the Blitz. We...we got separated and I've been stuck out of my time ever since. Uhm, you don't happen to know how to get in contact with him, do you?"

"I'm sorry, Captain, but I don't feel comfortable sharing that kind of information with you. For all I know you're lying through your teeth. I've read the files on Torchwood and-"

"Listen. I love the Doc and Rose like family. I just wanna know if they're okay."

"If you know them so well, why don't you just contact Rose's parent?"

"Jackie? Uhm..." He racks his brain for a lie to cover up the fact that he's scared the Doctor won't come if Jack finds the number to the TARDIS or to Rose and calls them. He very much suspects he'll have to ambush the Time Lord, considering he's already left Jack behind and has made no effort to find him. Unfortunately, the best he can come up with is something very vague. "Timelines. Gotta think about the timelines. Can't go to Jackie or Mickey."

Sarah Jane chuckles on the other end. "Oh, Captain. Surely you can do better than that? I'm disappointed! Tell me, Jack Harkness, what do you look like?"

Grinning, Jack runs his tongue over his teeth. "Aren't we being forward? D'you wanna know what I'm wearing, too?"

"Just answer the question, Captain."

"You better sit down for this, ma'am." He makes a dramatic pause before continuing: "Dark hair, piercing blue eyes, the most charming smile you've ever seen. Strong, manly jaw, chin dimple-I repeat: _chin dimple_-six feet tall, broad shoulders, really well-hu-"

"Yes, thank you. That's-that's quite enough, I assure you. I had breakfast with the Doctor and Rose this morning and I think I saw a photo of you..."

"Ah, Mark Harmon statue, am I right? They still have that?" he asks, genuinely surprised.

"Yes, I think they miss you very much." She pauses for a moment and Jack's heart speeds up, excited to be so close to finally finding the Doctor and happy to hear that he actually might be welcome back. "They're in Torchwood One. We're investigating the ghosts."

"They're in... Oh, no, that's not good. I'm heading over there right away. Thanks Sarah Jane! Hope we'll meet in the flesh, some day."

He hangs up without waiting for a reply and quickly scrolls through his contacts for the number to Tosh, the computer genius at his branch. He tells her to send Suzie to the crime scene and then asks her to tap into the security feed at their London branch. Luckily, Jack has seen pictures of most of the Doctor's incarnations and knows that he's currently tall, thin and dressed in a pinstriped suit. He gives Tosh the description of both the Doctor and Rose and it takes her roughly five minutes to find them but, as she describes them, it sounds more like the Doctor and Jackie to his ears.

"Are you absolutely sure she's got blue eyes and is in her forties?"

"Positive. There are ten women matching the description you gave me but none of them are anywhere near the man in a pinstriped suit. If you like, I can keep tabs on all of them to see if anyone meets up with this Doctor."

"Great! Do that and look out for anything strange happening-"

"Hold on, Jack. There's something going on with one of the blondes. When you say strange... Do you mean strange as in four robots with...plungers and whisks?"

Chills rush through Jack as goosebumps spread across his skin. "Tosh. This is really important. Do they have these round things attached to their hull?"

"Yes, that's right. The blonde is talking to them. Brown eyes, large mouth, pretty. They seem to be threatening her."

"Oh, jesus." He runs his hand over his mouth. "Tosh, I don't want you to do anything else today. You keep your eyes on that screen, you hear me? And we're keeping this line open. Anything happens, you're telling me."

"Yes, Jack."

He drives as fast as he can, hoping he can reach Canary Wharf before the Daleks get their hands on his friends, knowing he's the only one who can't get hurt by the vile creatures. However, for every mile he covers, his hope dwindles further. Tosh's reports become increasingly frightening and soon he sees the evidence with his own two eyes when the ghosts, that have plagued the world for weeks, turn into metal men. Just as he thinks it can't get any worse, Tosh tells him about the box containing millions of Daleks and, not long after that, he sees them up in the sky. All he can do is drive faster and pray that he won't be too late.

* * *

It looks grim. The world is overrun by Cybermen, the sky is full of Daleks and yet Rose can't help but hope for this day to become one of the best of her life. She feels pangs of guilt at the thought, since many lives will be lost today, but if Pete and Mickey stay in this world, Rose will finally have all the people she loves the most by her side. Her mum would finally find peace and be happy and Mickey, who's grown so much since she last saw him, could travel with Rose and the Doctor. Looking at him now, she's sure he'd be a brilliant addition to their little team and she has come to realise that she might need a friend now and then.

The Doctor goes on and on about his plan. His enthusiasm is, as usual, great and contagious and Rose is having fun despite the dangers. That is their way, though, isn't it? Laughing through the madness and not letting the horrors they witness take hold of them. However, soon it becomes clear what his plans are for _her_ and she gets a sinking feeling in her stomach from his words and the walls he quickly erects. How can he expect that she, after all that they have gone through together, would leave him? How can he just shut her out like that? She can scarcely believe it when they all gang up on her; people who supposedly love and respect her and yet think they should make her decisions for her. Well, she's having none of that! She backs away from her mum, showing them all with whom she belongs, but then she feels the Doctor betray her, slipping a jumper over her neck. There's a flash and, just like that, she's in Pete's World. That bloody bastard! She doesn't hesitate for a second before pushing the round yellow button and returning home.

* * *

Jackie takes a threatening step towards the parallel version of her dead husband, glaring at him in a way that only Prentice women know how. "Give. Me. That. Thing."

"No. You heard the Doctor. We'll get pulled into the void."

"I am not leaving her! She's my daughter, Pete. Give it to me!"

"No."

"The Doctor will come up with a plan! He always does. Everything will be fine. Now fork it over or else I'll slap you so hard your brain flies out of your ear."

Pete draws in a deep breath and he gets a look on his face she's seen so many times before on a much younger man, telling her she's won. Exhaling, he pulls out a key from his inner pocket and tosses it to Mickey. "You know where this leads. The papers are all there. I've divided the lot of it evenly between you two," he says to him and Jake. "I'm going with Jacks."

"But...I don't have any money! I live in a flat! And it's not even a good flat. I hear my neighbour all the time! He gets pissed every Saturday and argues with his cats, for goodness' sake."

"I don't care about that," Pete says and cups her cheek, smiling. "I have no family left anymore but I have you back, Jacqueline Andrea Suzette Tyler, and this time I'm not letting go."

"Well, then." She holds out her hand, smiling back at him. "Gimme the thing, please."

* * *

The Doctor grabs Rose rather forcefully by the shoulders and starts scolding her but, as she sees fear instead of rage burning in his eyes, she quickly swallows the anger brewing within her. She calmly tells him that she made her choice a long time ago and, looking into his eyes, she can see that it's as though something clicks in his mind. Has he been doubting her all this time? She's promised him her forever, absorbed the time vortex for him, spent months fucking him and then months _not_ fucking him just because she loves him so bloody much she's about to burst. He can he not get it?

She's just about to pull him to her and kiss him breathless when she's interrupted by the shocking sight of her mum and Pete appearing in the lever room.

"What?" says the Doctor. "You can't be here! You'll get pulled into the void!"

"M'not staying in some bleeding parallel world without my daughter or my mum or my friends or-"

"_But you'll get pulled into the void_!"

Jackie puts her hands on her hips, looking stubborn. "There must be some way of securing us to something."

"There's no time to be running about and looking for things! Daleks and Cybermen are all over the place. They can come up here any second. We have to do this _now_."

"The TARDIS!" Rose exclaimed. "She won't get pulled in, right?"

"Rose, you'll never make it in time and even if you did... The Cybermen will kill you."

"But the remote control."

The Doctor sighed. "It's not finished. It works but it's very unpredictable. She could materialise on the other end of this floor, for all I know."

"Well, isn't that better?" She reaches into his pocket and pulls out the sonic screwdriver, pressing it into his palm and curling his fingers around it. "Go on."

Shaking his head, the Doctor enters the correct setting and pushes the button. Seconds later they hear the TARDIS groaning as she lands further down the hall.

"Close enough, yeah?" Rose turns to her mum and Pete, handing them her TARDIS key. "Now run and don't come out until it's safe again, you hear?"

"No!" the Doctor exclaims. "Pete and I will work the levers and you and Jackie will go to the TARDIS."

Rose narrows her eyes and grabs his sleeve, pulling him with her as she walks further away. "D'you know why people like Elton can take advantage of her? 'Cause she's lonely, Doctor. Pete is it for her. You heard her. Never been anyone else-and she's been with so many men!" Rose says and looks up, shaking her head and chuckling. "But no one's been _right_. Not like dad. And she wants more kids, I know she does, and she won't ever have them with anyone else. My mum's got a second chance at happiness, Doctor. If anything would happen to him... Please."

"Rose..."

"Besides, I dunno how to use that thing," she says, nodding at the big gun Pete's holding. "He can protect my mum. I can't."

Clenching his jaw as well as his fists, the Doctor nods at her and turns to Jackie and Pete. "She's at the end of that hallway. It's far, so run as fast as you can and once you're inside, text Rose and we'll open the breach."

Holding his gun firmly, Pete ushers Jackie towards the time ship whilst Rose moves to the computer to follow the Doctor's commands. However, on the screen she sees countless of Cybermen heading their way.

"We'll have to open the breach right away," says the Doctor. "If they reach us..."

"But we can't! Mum and da- Pete. Mum and Pete haven't made it yet."

The Doctor shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Rose, but... There's no time. They're too close."

"No! You can't-" Rose stops talking as a very familiar man bursts through the doors. "Oh my god. Jack?!"

* * *

Jack has finally reached Torchwood One and, from what Tosh has told him, he decides that it's best to stop by the armory to stock up on some serious firepower. He might be immortal but dying takes time and he'd rather just kill anyone trying to stop him than sneaking through the armies of Cybermen. Tosh keeps filling him in on what's happening, but it doesn't make much sense to him. Apparently the Doctor and Rose are laughing one minute and fighting the next... Wait, okay, that sounds perfectly normal, but Rose and the others also vanish and reappear a few times. Thinking it's best to focus on the matter at hand instead of dwelling on that, he finds a very powerful Bluggish blaster and shots his way to the elevator so he can go straight to the lever room.

"Oh my god. Jack?!" Rose gasps, staring at him with her mouth hanging open as he enters the room.

"Right!" The Doctor claps his hands together, seemingly unfazed by the sight of his old friend. "I'm the Doctor. I've regenerated. I tend to do that on occasion."

"Yeah, I know."

"Good, good. You are just the man we need. Convenient, that. Please go to the stairwell and occupy the Cybermen for us so we can save the universe. We can all have a nice little reunion cuppa once this is over. Yes? Good. Now, get a move on!"

"Yes, sir," Jack says and salutes the Doctor before turning on his heel and running towards the approaching Cybermen.

It doesn't matter that the blaster only needs to be fired once per Cyberman to make them go down. They are too many and Jake can only hope that he'll stall them long enough to give the Doctor and Rose the time they need to do whatever it is they're doing. It doesn't take long for him to be crowded but, just as he is certain it's over, a rogue Cyberwoman-or whatever one should call it-turns up and helps him as she repeats something about doing her duty for Queen and country. Jack just shrugs, grateful for the help, and together they quickly kill every last metal man trying to get to the lever room. Tosh is still blabbering on in his ear and what she's telling him now makes even less sense than before. The Doctor and Rose are hanging on for dear life, looking as though they're being pulled by an invisible force along with-

Whoa! All the Cybermen starts flying off the floor and towards the lever room, so Jack follows them, ducking his head and jumping to the side when needed to avoid being knocked to the floor.

He's barely set foot in the room before he hears the Doctor yell: "Jack! Save her!"

Jack's legs move before he has registered what's happening. The Doctor might have a new voice, but he recognises the tone and this is not the time for questions. He runs forward and, to his horror, he sees Rose trying to hold on to the lever as her body is being pulled towards the bright light at the end of the room. Her fingers are slipping, one by one, and the Doctor repeatedly yells encouraging words to her to hold on, eyes wide and filled with terror. Just as she loses her grip, Jack manages to wrap his hands around one of hers, but he's not prepared for the strong pull of the breach. He stumbles a few steps forward before catching his balance, but it's not enough; he needs leverage. He knows he's compromising his grip on her, but it's a risk he has to take or else she'll just pull him with her to their doom. He lets go of her hand with one of his so he can grip the lever and pull them back. The Doctor keeps screaming at him and Rose, but luckily Tosh is silent, undoubtedly knowing that Jack has enough on his plate as it is.

Rose stares up at him, brown eyes full of fear and nothing but shaky breaths coming out of her mouth.

"Hold on, Rose."

"Slipping," she whimpers.

"No. No, you're not," he lies, feeling their sweat mingle and how very slippery their hands have become. If he could just move forward and get a solid hold of her arm...but the pull is too strong and he knows she'll be torn from his hand if he tries to adjust his grip.

He scans the room frantically, looking for some sort of solution, but it's too late. Rose slips out of his hand and flies towards the breach, so he runs after her, hoping he's fast enough to get ahold of her again. The Doctor screams her name in horror and Jack uses all the energy he has left to hurl himself forward, but he's not fast enough.

Just as Rose reaches the breach, it closes and she bangs into the solid white wall with a thump and then a loud crack as she drops to the ground. Jack is by her side in an instant and throws himself down on his knees. He doesn't bother to check for a pulse, knowing how important every last second is right now, and opens up her mouth to breathe his life force into her, hoping he can heal whatever injuries she's suffered. The golden energy encompasses her head for a moment before being soaked up by her skin and he waits for her to draw in a breath and smile her Rose Tyler smile, but she doesn't move. Jack gives her another life giving breath, barely registering the sound of the Doctor's approaching footsteps.

She still doesn't move.

The Doctor bends down and scoops her up without a word. His face is completely blank and his eyes black and hollow. Jack sees, to his horror, Rose's head hanging limply and in an odd angle before the Doctor adjusts his grip to support her broken neck. Oh.

Jack sags to the floor, eyes locked on the Doctor who holds his head up high as he carries Rose's body to the TARDIS.

"Tosh. You still there?" he asks, voice shaky.

"Jack, I'm so sorry."

"Yeah. Listen. I won't be back for a few days. Call me if you need to but... Not today, okay?"

He hangs up, pushes himself off the floor and walks after the Doctor, feeling completely empty inside. Thanks to Tosh's running commentary, Jack knows that Rose's mom is inside the TARDIS and right now it doesn't matter that the Doctor left him behind without explaining what the hell is making Jack immortal, he's not leaving his old friend to tell Jackie that her only child is dead.


	24. Life

**Warning**: NSFW  
**Note**: I don't use British English when it's Jack's POV (well, yeah, in spelling for some consistency but I don't change words like elevator and mom to lift and mum, and so on) because it just feels wrong. Just so you know that it's deliberate.

* * *

Jack rushes towards the Doctor so he can walk by his side on the way to the TARDIS. The Time Lord's jaw is set, the corners of his mouth are turned down and his eyes are lifeless and black. Guilt rises within Jack, making breathing difficult. He continues to mentally replay the moment Rose lost her grip. If only he had held on tighter. If only he had tried to breathe life into her sooner…

The Doctor stops and turns his head to Jack, making him realise he said those things out loud. For a split second, he feels like crawling into a ball in a corner somewhere and hiding away from that ice cold stare, but instead he hears himself continue to talk. "I tried to breathe life back into her. I can do that. I can take some of my life energy and give to someone dying but…I think she was already—"

"What?" The Doctor's voice is so low Jack probably wouldn't have caught it had he not seen his lips move. "What did you do _exactly_?"

"It's something I've been able to do ever since… I assume you know…?" The Doctor nods but looks impatient, so Jack blurts out the rest of it as quickly as he can. "So, I breathed life into her. Twice. But nothing happened."

The Doctor bores his eyes into his. "What happened with the energy? Did it vanish?"

"No. It looked like she soaked it up, but…" He looks at the lifeless body in the Doctor's arms and shrugs, feeling helpless.

"Soaked it up?" The Doctor says and something lights up in his eyes. He leans his head down as he lifts Rose up, pressing their foreheads together for a few seconds. Jack hears him expel a shaky breath before looking up at him. "Oh, Jack Harkness, I could kiss you, I could!" He runs down the hallway, shouting over his shoulder: "As soon as we get in, you grab Jackie Tyler and you make sure she doesn't interfere. You got that?"

"Yeah," Jack says, not understanding a goddamn thing.

They burst through the TARDIS doors and Jackie Tyler and a man, who looks remarkably like an older version of Rose's dead father, get up from the jump seat. The Doctor lays Rose down on the grating next to the console and it becomes painfully obvious she's dead. Jack hears Jackie draw in a deep breath and then let out a loud, long wail. He gathers her into his arms before she's had a chance to get to her daughter, holding her back as she tries to break free.

"Let me go! Rooooose! I need to be with my little girl!" she cries between sobs, punching and clawing at him. "Let me go!"

"The Doc will fix her," he says, because that's the only thing that explains the Doctor's sudden mood change. He'll find a way somehow. "Just…try to calm down, Jackie. Just…trust him."

"No! Let me go! Roooooose!"

"I'll hold her," the Pete-looking man says, quickly wrapping his arms around the distraught woman and Jack backs away.

The Doctor is kneeling next to Rose's body, fingers at her temples and an intense look on his face. "Her brain is still working." He looks up at the others, wide smile spreading across his features. "Neck's broken…Well, a lot of things are broken. Anyway, heart stopped, not breathing but her brain! Her brain!"

Jack furrows his brow. "How does that even work. The lack of oxygen—"

"No, you see," interrupts the Doctor, unscrewing a hatch under the console, "there is residue of the time vortex left inside her. Oh, right, you don't know this. She absorbed it, revived you, killed the Daleks and that whole thing. The residue isn't enough to do anything at all, really, but then you came along, Jack. You and your wonderful kisses of life!"

"Oh, you like 'em now, huh?"

"Like doesn't even begin to cover it," the Doctor says, scooting back and making room for the golden energy that starts pouring out from the heart of the TARDIS. It forms a cloud around Rose's body, bathing her in light. "Your energy fired them up, like putting your keys into the ignition. Now we just need some petrol. If we're lucky, and I usually am," he says, looking smug and pulling at his collar, "the TARDIS can save Rose without her suffering any brain damage at all."

It takes several minutes for Rose's body to soak up all the energy and the four people inside the console room are barely able to breathe because of the anticipation. The Doctor crawls back to Rose's side and takes her hand, brushing her skin with his thumb. The fingers of his other hand find her temple again and his eyes fall shut, mouth frowning and eyebrows drawing together in concentration.

"No. No, no, no," he whispers, eyes moving rapidly under his lids. "Don't do this to me. C'mon, Rose. Live!" He leans over her, pressing his forehead against hers. "Please, please, please," he whispers. "Please live. I need you. Don't leave me."

For a moment, all that is heard are Jackie's heartbreaking sobs, slightly muffled by the other man's chest as he holds her tightly, the Doctor's pleads and the singing of the TARDIS. Suddenly, the singing stops; the air seems to leave the Doctor's body and he slumps to the floor, cradling Rose in his arms. He has given up. Jack hears Jackie draw in another deep breath and he closes his eyes, steeling himself for another high pitched lament, but then Rose's body starts expelling streams of light. The Doctor staggers back, mouth hanging open in shock, eyes teary. It's unlike anything Jack has ever witnessed and he doesn't know what to make of it but, as he casts a quick glance at the Doctor, he sees that the Time Lord's expression has become awestruck and Jack dares to hope.

Seconds later, it's over and the Doctor is by Rose's side in an instant and scoops her up in his arm, holding her close and laughing.

"She's alive," he breathes out between laughs and Jack is faintly aware of Jackie letting out a whimper. "The TARDIS has put her in a healing coma. She'll be fine."

"So, do we need to set the bones or…?" asks Jack, not really knowing how to feel just yet.

"No, she's all fixed up. The TARDIS took care of everything. It's just taxing on her body so she needs rest. I'll…I'll carry her to our bedroom so she can rest."

"I think I'll have to do the same," the Pete-looking man says, nodding at, the now unconscious, Jackie in his arms. "I think it was a little too much for her."

Jack runs a hand over his face, wiping the tears off his cheeks. "Well, no wonder. That was intense." He shudders and exhales with a whoosh. "Now wait a minute, Doc. Did you say 'our bedroom'?" he asks, grinning as the Doctor's eyes widen and cheeks turn slightly pink. "Glad to see you've finally come to your senses."

* * *

Jack makes a detour to the galley to grab something to drink whilst Pete and the Doctor carry the women to the bedroom, assured by the Doctor that the TARDIS will lead him in the right direction. He smiles to himself as he sees the photo of the three of them, feeling as though this might work out well after all. He opens the fridge, quickly scans the shelves and, settling on Aluskian white beer, grabs a handful of bottles. Despite everything he's been through in his very long life, today has been a bit too much of a roller coaster for his taste and he needs to just kick back and catch his breath.

He quietly knocks on the door before entering the bedroom. It's large and decorated mostly in calm blue tones and dark woods. The atmosphere is soothing and it's just what he needs right now. The man who looks like Pete is sitting on a loveseat at the far end of the room and the very large bed is occupied by Rose and her mother, both still unconscious.

The Doctor is standing by Jackie's side, fingers on her wrist. He nods to himself and then to the other man, before walking over to Rose's side of the bed. Jack settles down on the loveseat beside the other man and hands him a bottle and, keeping one for himself, puts the rest on the floor. He wants to ask him who he is, but it's very quiet in the room and he's not comfortable breaking the silence. After checking Rose's pulse and spending a few seconds with his eyes closed, two fingers at her temple, the Doctor leans back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest and feet at the ankle.

A few minutes later, Jackie comes to; she opens her eyes and sits up, rubbing her forehead. It takes a moment for her to remember what happened, but Jack can clearly see her emotions as each memory returns to her whilst she gets her bearings. She turns around to face Rose and tenderly strokes her hair, whispering words of love in her ear and placing a few kisses on her cheek. Tears flood her eyes and spill over, bringing mascara with them as they fall to the midnight blue silk bedspread. Sniffling and wiping her face, Jackie tilts her head up and, as she sees the Doctor, her expression turns murderous. She jumps out of bed, storms up to him and connects her palm with his face so hard the slap echoes throughout the room.

"You scared the living daylights out of me!" she yells before pulling him in for a big hug and squeezing him hard.

"I'm sorry," he groans, looking a bit squashed.

"Well, you saved her. Right?" She pulls back, locking her eyes onto his. "You did, right?"

"Yeah," he says, gingerly touching his cheek. "She's-she's going to be fine."

"That's all that matters now," she says, patting his arm. "How long will she be like that, then?"

"A few hours at the most. The TARDIS is keeping an eye on her. She's stable."

"Stable," she echoes, as though she wants confirmation.

His expression softens. "Stable."

"Well, then. I'll cook us some tea. We've not eaten since breakfast! You all must be starving!" She walks over to the loveseat. "C'mon, you big fella. Show me where the kitchen is," she says, tugging at Jack's sleeve. "Knowing that one," she nods at the Doctor, "he won't leave her side for one second."

* * *

Jack helps Jackie understand the equipment in the galley before joining the other man at the table.

He eyes him for a moment before saying: "So…this is gonna sound really weird, but… Rose showed me pictures of her dead dad once…"

"Oh, yeah. I'm Pete Tyler but from a parallel universe. Mickey told me a lot of this world's version and, as far as I can tell, we were the same man up until the wedding."

"From a… Huh. Wasn't expecting that. So, what, you have your own Jackie and Rose…?"

Pete takes a swig of his beer. "No. My Jackie is… She's gone. We never had children and there's no one left on my side. So I'm staying with this Jacks now."

It sounds more than a little odd to Jack's ears, but he's seen his fair share of strange things by now and isn't one to judge. He holds out his hand, saying: "Captain Jack Harkness, by the way. Great to meet ya!"

As Jackie cooks, she fills Jack in on the Doctor and Rose and how they've been a couple for most of the year and, together with Pete, tells him about the parallel universe and how Mickey stayed behind to be with his gran and save the world.

"Really? Mickey Mouse, saving the world?"

"He's changed a lot since I first met him. I did wonder there for a moment…" Pete chuckles as he shakes his head. "And now he and Jake will be two of the most powerful men in my world. Well, at least when it comes to alien matters. Ever since we started taking on the Cybermen, I knew there was a risk I wouldn't make it. So, awhile back, I changed my will. Left them everything, I did. Jake and Mickey were my right-hand-men. They'll run Torchwood now. Well, there's a board but they're all familiar with each other."

"Really? _Mickey Mouse_?" Jack repeats and downs the rest of his beer. "Just when I thought I had heard everything…"

"Oi!" Jackie calls out, looking up at the ceiling. "Can this thing hear me? Hello, uhm, TARDIS. I'm Jackie Tyler, Rose's mum. If I ask you real nicely, can you bring a table into their room? S'big enough, innit? And some chairs, thanks!"

"Jackie, I'm not sure—"

"Oh, hush you. I know she can do it. If she can save my little girl, I think she'll be able to handle a blooming table. I even saw her move the doors around! Now, go on. Carry these!" she says to Jack and Pete, pointing at the plates and drinks she has put on trays.

When they get back to the bedroom there are, just as Jackie wanted, chairs and a table where they can eat. Jack has no idea if it really was her doing or if the Doctor was being practical, but it doesn't really matter right now. They're all starving and, even though Jackie isn't the most amazing cook in the world, they eat with gusto. Well, not the Doctor. He's lying on the bed, curled up next to Rose with his arm around her waist, completely focused on her. No one asks if he wants to eat because it's clear he doesn't want to be disturbed. Once they've finished eating, Jackie moves her chair next to the bed so she can sit and hold Rose's hand whilst they wait for her to wake up. Pete and Jack take the dishes to the galley to clean up and, when they return to the room, they sit down, quietly finishing another round of beer. Although they know Rose is out of the woods, none of them can really relax nor do any of them want to break the silence.

When Rose finally stirs, some hours later, they collectively exhale sighs of relief. She rolls over on her side, slipping out of her mom's hold, and turns to the Doctor. Her eyes flutter open and she smiles as she sees the Doctor's face right next to hers.

"Hello," she whispers. "Oh, I had the strangest dream."

"Rose," he breathes out, cupping her cheek. "No you didn't. You-you _died_."

"Oh." Her smile turns somewhat sheepish. "Oops."

"Never do that to me again," he says, voice low but intense.

She runs her fingers through his hair. "I'll try my best."

He pulls back slightly, looking into her eyes with a furrowed brow and opening his mouth as if to say something; however, he smiles instead before he closes the distance between them, pressing his mouth to hers. They kiss passionately, emitting soft noises of pleasure, fingers in each other's hair, seemingly oblivious to their audience. Rose moves her hands to his shirt buttons, eager and trembling, and gives up on trying to unbutton it almost right away. She starts ripping the garment open instead, buttons flying wildly, and quickly pushes up the henley he wears underneath, making it bundle up over his chest. At the same time, the Doctor tugs at the zip of her blue hoodie, opening it up, and then slips his hand under her thin camisole. Jack's face breaks out into the widest grin, nodding as he sees the Doctor cup Rose's breast, not caring at all about Jackie trying to get him to leave.

"Shhh, it's just getting good," he whispers to Jackie, shooing her away from him.

"Move it, you bleeding pervert, or I'm gonna kill you!" she growls and, thanks to some assistance from Pete, manages to pull Jack out of the bedroom.

* * *

The Doctor and Rose are both naked and writhing against each other in their bed. His fingers are between her thighs, finding her clit, and her leg is slung over his hip, hand wrapped around his cock. They're still kissing, tongues stroking and teeth grazing, when Rose suddenly breaks free. Her warm breath hits his lips as she looks at him with heavy lidded eyes, making him dizzy.

She smiles apologetically. "M'sorry…"

He blinks a few times, not quite grasping what's happening. "Hm?"

"Sorry, but I really need to pee. Sorry! I really tried to ignore it, but it's been ages since I last went," she says and slides out of bed, scurrying away to the en suite.

"Oh. Ehm. Okay. Yep. I'll just…" he says to the empty room, suddenly painfully aware of where this is heading.

He feels just as naked emotionally as he is physically and nervousness settles deep in his stomach. His hearts race in his chest and he's feeling too skittish to lie still so, slipping beneath the sheets to cover himself up a little, he gives his time ship a silent command to also dim the lights. Rose is only gone for a couple of minutes before appearing in the doorway, completely bare before his eyes and staggeringly beautiful; however, as she sees him, undoubtedly noticing his discomfort, her smile gradually slips. She walks up to the bed and crawls in under the covers to join him, careful not to let their bodies touch.

"We don't have to. If you don't wanna," she says, voice soft.

"Rose, I…" he says, barely meeting her eye. He doesn't want her to feel rejected so he reaches out for her hand, caressing her palm with his fingers. "It's… I…"

She cups his cheek. "I can wear the tie if you want. I know you like that better than turning off the lights."

"No. That's…no," he says, because he feels as though only a cowardly prat would make his lover wear a blindfold after she just came back to life.

"I really don't mind, you know? It's…" She climbs over him and reaches down over the edge, plucking his tie off the floor. She secures it over her eyes and then grabs the edge of the covers, pulling them off him so she can straddle his hips. She's carefully avoiding his erection, but he can feel the heat radiating from her and he has to use all of his willpower not to thrust upwards. She smiles and places her hands on his chest, leaning forward until their lips almost touch. "It's liberating and it turns me on," she whispers.

He closes the gap between them and kisses her once more, wrapping his arms around her and crushing her against him. Her taste is just a little bit different and he can sense something akin to regeneration energy, but it's mostly just Rose and the time and background radiation added to her flavour since she came to travel with him. He revels in the feel of her naked skin against his, making his nerve endings spark, increasing the desire already coursing through him. She runs her fingernails over his scalp and he releases her lips to kiss his way down the column of her neck to her clavicle, humming against her skin as he feels the vibrations from her soft moans. He follows the delicate bone with his lips and licks the dip at the base of her throat before venturing lower to her breasts. He nuzzles the valley between her soft mounds and she straightens up enough for him to be able to catch a dusky peak in his mouth. He laves at it until it rises and then sucks whilst tweaking its twin with his fingers. One of her hands mirrors his ministrations on his nipple and the other stays nestled in his hair, gently scratching the top of his head and making him shiver. Whiffs of her arousal reaches his nose every time she moves and the need to taste her overcomes him so, with a firm grip on her hips, he scoots her upwards until she's straddling his chest. She grabs ahold of the headboard and spreads her legs, center hovering a mere inch over his mouth. He makes her giggle and squirm by placing kisses on the inside of first her right thigh and then the left and her musky scent makes his cock twitch, so he breathes in deeply before running his tongue over her slit.

"Oh, god," she breathes out and, as he does it again, shifts her hips to come a little bit closer.

He's slow at first, exploring her folds and swirling his tongue around her opening before dipping in to tease her inner walls. Her breathing speeds up and she lets out soft mewls and he can tell she's starting to get impatient. He pulls out and finds her clit, first circling it a few times to really make her frustrated and then licking it with the tip of his tongue as he admires her moving above him. She has let go of the headboard with one hand and is now cupping her breast and rolling her nipple between her thumb and forefinger, moaning. He tightens his grip around her hips, urging her to rock against him by moving her, loving the way it feels when she rubs her sex against his mouth. She bends back and, reaching behind her for his cock, still grinding against his face, she begins to stroke him. It feels fantastic so he can't help but groan against her and she reacts to the vibrations with a gasp, her hand motions turning erratic as she grows closer. He wants to see her when she comes so he wraps one arm around her waist, straightening her up. She responds by shifting slightly forward and reaches down with her hand, cradling the back of his head as he increases the speed of his licks. Her sounds grow needier and more breathy and, a short moment later, she's convulsing on top of him, screaming out in pleasure. He eagerly laps at her sex until she has shuddered through her climax, leaving her so sensitive his tongue makes her shy away.

Humming and smiling, face glowing, she moves down his body until she's once again straddling his hips.

"That was brilliant," she mumbles and then sucks his bottom lip into her mouth. "I love tasting myself on you," she murmurs before slipping her tongue into his mouth again. Kissing him languidly, she snakes a hand down between them, grabs his cock and then lines him up at her entrance. "Ready?" she asks, but he's not. It doesn't feel right.

It _isn't_ right.

He takes her other hand and squeezes it twice for no. She shakes her head and shrugs with one shoulder, looking confused, so he pulls her down for another kiss. He really takes his time as he explores her mouth, using this break to muster up the courage he needs to do what he wants and what he should. He holds her close and rolls them over, settling himself in the cradle of her thighs as they fall open for him. He wants to speak; he wants to tell her _so_ many things, but every time he opens his mouth, his voice stops working and he feels like a fish on dry land. So, he just pulls off the tie without ceremony and throws it on the floor, ignoring the way his hearts thump hard in his chest. Rose still keeps her eyes closed, so he brushes her cheek with the back of his hand, trying to show her that he's fine.

Rose opens her eyes and, for a few seconds, he can tell she's trying to focus and adjust to the light. It's still dimmed but not so dark that she won't be able to see him. Her breath hitches as their eyes connect and he, for the first time since they've started this relationship, allows her to see just how much he wants her. It scares him so much he can barely breathe and, somewhere within him, there's a voice screaming at him to get out before it's too late.

He desperately wants her, though, and he sees the same kind of hunger reflecting in her eyes, making him realise that this isn't about him at all.

It's about them.

So he stays.

The most beautiful smile slowly blooms on her face and she cups his cheeks and then brings his mouth down to hers.

They keep kissing as he positions himself at her core and a swooping feeling rushes from the Doctor's hearts to the pit of his stomach when he nudges her wetness with his cock. He holds his breath as he slowly pushes himself into Rose and, once he's deeply buried inside her, he leans his head on her shoulder, taking a moment to just _feel_. Her tight walls are massaging his erection; her hands are stroking his back in a leisurely pace, finger pads up and fingernails down; her legs are hugging his hips, feet locked at the ankle; their upper bodies are connected, skin against skin, all the way from their chests to their centers; her scent emcompasses him, lulling him into a blissful state and, for a moment, he thinks he could stay like this forever.

"Are you all right?" she whispers, lips brushing his ear.

He reaches behind his back and wraps his fingers around her wrist, bringing one of her hands to him. He kisses it first and then weaves their fingers together and gives her a squeeze for yes whilst pulling out nearly all the way before thrusting back into her. He starts repeating his motion and now he dares himself to look at her. She's so beautiful, all flushed and dewey from perspiration and with eyes so much darker and hungrier than he's ever seen them. The words spill out of him before his brain catches up; words of what she means to him in the only language that properly can convey it. English just isn't enough. She crinkles her forehead for a second, but then she's smiling again, moving with him and clutching his back.

She tilts her head to give him access to her neck and he can't help but mark her as his, biting and sucking on her skin. When he lifts his head for air, she gives as good as she gets and every nip of her teeth sends jolts of pleasure straight to his groin. Feeling her hot and slick around him like this, he can scarcely believe how close he was to losing her today. The words tumble from his lips once more as he repeatedly plunges into her, increasing his speed for every thrust. He angles their hips to be able to add friction to her clit because he's so close now and he wants her to fall with him. Finding her lips with his, he reaches the peak a mere second before her and they grind their hips together as they ride out wave after wave, tongues entangled, moans swallowed. Kissing each other deeply, they keep rocking against one another until he's completely soft and slips out. He rolls off her and they lie on their sides, turned to each other, faces nearly touching.

For a moment, they do nothing but look at one another but then she reaches out and caresses his cheek. Her expression is soft and there's a tender smile playing on her lips.

"I lo— I love you," she whispers.

He returns her smile, hearts fluttering in his chest. "Quite right, too."

She playfully smacks him on the arm and then regards him for a few seconds. "I know you can't say it and I want you to know that I… I don't need that. I just need you."

"But I…" He lifts his hand to her face, brushing his fingertips over her mouth. "I _have_ said it."

She knits her brow. "When?"

He swallows, feeling butterflies in his stomach. "I, er, I…" He blows out a deep breath through pursed lips, gathering strength, and then repeats the words he's told her so many times by now. His voice is low and a little shaky, but he manages to say all of it without looking away.

Her mouth falls open and she shakes her head in confusion, staring at him. "That's… I thought that was dirty talk!"

She looks so adorable and he's so happy that he can't help but laugh. "I gathered."

"Wait. So all this time you…?"

Blushing, he tugs a little at his ear. "Weeeeeell…"

She just stares at him for several heartbeats, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. "I thought… Doctor…" She sucks in a sharp breath. "Oh, my god. Why didn't you say something?!"

"Why didn't _you_ say something, hm?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.

"Because you clearly didn't want me to say anything at all!"

"Oh, so this is the time you decide to obey me? Rose Tyler!" he mock-chides.

She hits him with her pillow, laughing. "Oh my god, you _idiot_."

"You love it." He beams, knowing just how much of a besotted fool he looks like and not caring in the least.

"Yeah, I do. I really, really do." She runs her fingers over his face and then leans in to kiss him. "It's beautiful, Doctor. It's-it's gorgeous. Does it mean… If I said it to you, would it mean the same?"

"_Can_ you say it?"

"I don't know. Never tried it but…" She bites her lip, smiling. "Would it?"

"Well, it's very specific. Like this is how I feel," he murmurs, ducking his head and taking her hand, "now and forever, no matter the regeneration, or where or when I am. And I will feel like this even when you're sick and whiny or when you cook really nasty food or when you forget to put your dirty knickers in the hamper, you slob," he says and pokes her in the stomach.

She grins. "Even then, huh?"

"Even then."

"What if I…" She licks her lips, thinking. "Eat a pear and kiss you."

He crinkles his nose. "Ew, don't do that. But yes, even then."

"Huh. And what if I…spill nail polish on your precious console?"

"Even then, but I can't vouch for the TARDIS. And why on Earth would you paint your nails on the console? There are literally thousands of good places elsewhere on the TARDIS. That is just plain rude." He gives her a stern look but she just smiles at him.

"And what if I invite mum and Pete to live with us?"

"You're really pushing it now, missy."

"Missy, huh?"

He makes a face. "Well, trying it out for size. Might come in handy when you don't behave."

"D'you know what else might come in handy when I don't behave?" she says, looking very innocently at him as she runs her fingers down his body until she wraps them around his cock.

He holds his breath, shaking his head.

"I was honest about the tie. It _is_ liberating. I feel… When I-when I wore it the first time, yeah, I'd never done that before. Sitting like that, I mean, on a bloke's—" She averts her eyes, blushing. "—face and I didn't feel… Well, I felt a bit insecure but the tie helped me let loose. I could just enjoy it, yeah?" She strokes him a few times, quickly making him come alive in her hand. "I like giving you control. I like not knowing what you're going to do next, 'cause I know you'd never hurt me. It's…" She leans forward, lips almost touching his. "It turns me on. I want… Well, if _you_ want, you can even tie me up…"

"You-you'd want that?" he pants, head lolling back as she runs her fingers over the tip of his cock.

"Yeah. Yeah, I would. Just 'cause we're all…properly together now, doesn't mean I want to stop doing all those things. I mean…" She scoots closer and curls her leg around him, teasing her slick folds with his cock, voice turning husky. "I told you. All those things we did. It makes me wet. I love when the lights go off and then I feel your hands on my body. I like not knowing. I love it _rough_," she says, growling on the last word before giving his bottom lip a nip. "I like it when you claim me but…" She pushes him to lie on his back and then climbs on top of him. "Don't get me wrong. I like it tender, yeah, and sometimes _I_ want to do the claiming, but I really love it when you dominate me."

She slowly sinks down on his shaft, closing her eyes and letting out a shuddering breath once he's fully inside her. Grinding her hips in figure eights, she cups her breasts and plays with their weight and then brushes her fingertips over her peaks until they're puckered. Her hip movements turn into tight rocking back and forth and she starts pinching her nipples, biting her lip and mewling. His jaw goes slack as he stares at the gorgeous sight before him, loving how comfortable she is with him to be touching herself in this way.

"I trust you completely," she continues. "I always have. Wouldn't have done all of this if I hadn't. I know you'd never do anything against my wishes."

"No?" he says, amazed by her faith in him, and then he groans as she squeezes him from the inside. "I-I nearly did. That day in the-the…console room," he says, chest heaving from the desire burning within him.

"No. Don't you see?" she says, slowly moving up and down. "I said no and you stopped. And even if I hadn't understood and hadn't stopped you, I don't think you would've gone through with it. You wouldn't do that, no matter how upset you were. The instinct— _Mmmm…_" she moans, adjusting her hips and increasing her speed. "The instinct might have been there, but, _ooooh_, I know you wouldn't have finished it."

"You really-you really believe that?" he pants and grips her hips, admiring her as she rides him.

"Mhm… Oh, god _this_…" She sticks her fingers into her mouth, wetting them with her saliva before trailing them down her body. "You feel so good," she murmurs, rubbing herself. "I love feeling you inside me."

"And I love when you—" He draws in a sharp breath. "You made me talk!"

She smirks. "Yeah, I know. Been talking for some time now, you have."

He guffaws. "You little minx!"

Her tongue pokes out between her teeth as her smile grows wider. "What-what were you going to say? That you love my dirty mouth?" she says, voice thick with desire.

"Yeah, how did…?"

"Oh, I can tell," she says, pulling up almost all the way before grinding down hard. "I could tell, every time I gave you head and told you how I loved it. The way you react when I tell you I want to suck your cock," she says, meeting his eye as she draws out the last word. Oh, it's obvious to him now that she's _very_ aware of the effect she and her words have on him. "Mmm, I feel _fantastic_. Like my skin is singing."

He replaces her hand at her clit with his and brings hers to his mouth, sucking her juices off her fingers before saying: "It's the-the healing. The TARDIS healed you. You'll be extra sensitive for a couple of days."

"Really? Then you've got your work cut out for— Oh!" She slumps forward, supporting herself by placing her hands on either sides of his shoulders. "I'm-I'm…" He raises his head and captures her nipple between his teeth, gently biting before drawing circles around it with his tongue and then sucking on it. She stays silent as she moves faster, focused on reaching her peak, and then she stiffens, face contorting as she's overcome with pleasure. "Doc—" she groans and he repeatedly thrusts his hips up, fucking her through her orgasm, enjoying the hoarse shouts she makes every time he hits her deep inside until she's done.

She takes a moment, panting in his ear as she rests her head against him, but then she moves again to make him come. He wraps his arms around her, holding her close as they fuck and burrowing his nose in the crook of her shoulder. She starts whispering all the things she wants him to do to her and, a few heartbeats later, he murmurs her name like a litany as his orgasm overtakes him and crashes through his body until he's soft and sated.

"Mmm, I love you," she mumbles against his skin as she peppers his face with kisses. "And I won't leave you. I'll never leave you. I promise."

"You-you heard that?"

"I think…I think the TARDIS gave me the memories when she healed me, 'cause I remember everything. Jack giving me— Jack! Jack's here! And mum! And Pete!" She sits up in bed, hair a tousled mess, eyes flitting around the room and her mouth hanging open. "Oh, god! We have to shower and get dressed before mum gets in here and wonders if we're gonna shag all day!"

The Doctor's eyes widen with horror. "She would do that?"

"Oh, you don't wanna know. Mum doesn't understand boundaries, all right?" Rose jumps out of the bed and quickly gathers her dirty clothes, tossing them into the hamper, shooting him a look.

"Yes, yes, very good," he says, clapping his hand with a mock-condescending expression on his face.

"Now, c'mere. Gonna lie there all day? I'm telling the truth. She's seen Mickey naked, you know, 'cause she didn't even knock. Oh, you should've seen his face!" She laughs, opening the door to the en suite.

"What?" he squeaks, scrambling out of the bed and running after her. Jackie Tyler knows enough about his love life as it is!

They lather each other's bodies and hair, tickling one another and giggling, when suddenly the Doctor freezes.

"Oh," he says and he can feel the happiness slowly running off him and follow the shower water down into the drain.

"Oh?"

He swallows and takes a step back, rubbing his neck. "I did something…"

She crinkles her forehead and reaches out for his hand, brushing his thumb with her as she holds it. "Tell me."

"You're not gonna like it."

Smiling, she steps closer. "Tell me, Doctor."

"I…I went into your head. I had to!"

"Oh, that. Yeah, I know."

"You don't-you don't mind?"

She laughs. "No. You saved my life, didn't you?"

"Yeah…"

She rises on tiptoes and gives him a peck on the mouth before stepping back and rinsing her hair. "Well, then. And I…" She takes a bottle of conditioner from a shelf in the shower stall and squeezes out a dollop of product, working it into her hair. "I think I might be ready for that. Trying that. The sharing-your-mind thing? Later? If you want?"

He beams at her, feeling happiness return to his body, making him warm and tingly. "I do," he says and grabs her by the waist, pulling her closer. "I really do."

They finish showering as best as they can whilst still keeping as much physical contact as possible, but when a towel-wrapped Rose steps out of the en suite to get dressed, the Doctor stays. He opens up their medicine cabinet, takes out the bottle of pills for his libido and, smiling to himself, asks the TARDIS to move it to the apothecary chest in the infirmary.

He won't be using those anymore.


	25. Future

**Warning: smut! and unbetad.**

* * *

Jackie sits in the nook in the galley, drinking tea with Pete and Jack. Well, Jack has coffee, and she's sure it's Irish, but he's the kind of man that always has to do everything differently, isn't he? She listens with one ear to Pete and Jack comparing notes on their respective Torchwood branches as she knits a TARDIS blue jumper for the Doctor. He's so skinny, and always dresses in a lot of layers _plus_ that coat of his, so she reckons he must be a bit sensitive to cold temperatures. The time ship must have seen this coming because, when the trio returned from Rose and the Doctor's bedroom, there was a wicker basket full of yarn and knitting needles waiting for Jackie on the table and she is mighty grateful for this. Had she been forced to sit and just listen to the others talk, she would surely have been driven spare. She doesn't understand half of it, for goodness' sake, and it's not until Jack asks about Mickey that Jackie starts paying attention.

"So, sorry for bringing this up again, but let me get this straight… Mickey Smith, famous for being an idiot, is saving the world. Daily."

"Yeah, that's right. Our world's original Mickey, well he was called Rickey—"

"Really? The Doc must've loved that."

"Yeah, Mickey told me that he used to call him that." Pete chuckles. "Anyway, Rickey was the leader of an underground organisation called the Preachers. I worked with them to overthrow Lumic, the man responsible for these Cybermen. After Lumic attacked our London, a lot of people were lost, including Rickey. Mickey took his place and him, me and Jake, the only other Preacher left, started working to end Cybus Industries. I stayed in London, pulling strings, making sure we had funds, whilst Mickey and Jake travelled all over the world to stop all the factories that were making more Cybermen. After a while we realised what our Torchwood was doing, so Mickey and Jake came back and we took it from the institute, made it our own."

"Wow… That's impressive. How long's it been for you? Didn't Jackie say it's been, like, six months since Mickey left?"

"It's been three years for us, so I understand why you're so surprised." Pete laughs a little, shaking his head. "Really didn't think Mickey would be able to handle it all in the beginning, but I was wrong. I didn't let him jump over here to work undercover just so he could find Rose or because he's familiar with this world. He truly is one of my best men, he is. Well, suppose I should say 'was'," Pete says, smiling. "He and Jake will do a fine job, they will."

Jackie's almost done with the front piece when her daughter and her Doctor come into the galley. Rose looks lovely, scrubbed clean and wearing a loosely fitted jersey dress, but the Doctor seems a bit flustered. He looks everywhere but at the others, swinging the hand that holds Rose's, tugging at his ear with the other.

"Rose!" she says, dropping her work on the sofa so she can run up to her daughter and hug her. "You take it easy on her, you big lump!" she says and pokes the Doctor in the chest, smirking as he blushes. "She nearly died! She needs her rest!" Oh, Jackie knows Rose _did_ die but that's something she'd rather not dwell on and she'll make sure they all refer to it as healing instead of resurrection from here on out.

"M'fine, mum. No, I'm more than fine. I feel amazing. I…" Her eyes flit to Jack, smile spreading across her face and eyes tearing up. "Jack! Oh, I've missed you," she says, holding out her arms as she runs towards him and they are in each other's arms within seconds. "Thank you." She pulls back so she can give him a peck on the lips. "Thank you for saving me."

He looks surprised. "You remember?"

"Yeah," she says, nodding and finding the Doctor's hand again. "Yeah, I remember everything."

"How?"

"Yeah, what does this mean, then, Doctor?" asks Jackie. "Is she still…human?"

The Doctor's mouth falls open and he blinks a couple of times, looking daft as per usual. "Ehm… I haven't thought about that. It's been…" He gestures a little before running his fingers through his hair. "I've had other things on my… Well, I do still have tubes with your blood, Rose. I could compare the old samples with—"

"Can we just…dunno, not do that whole thing today? I don't wanna sit in the infirmary and be all lab ratty, all right? Can't we just relax and catch up? We're all here and alive and… I just want a good day, yeah? And a cuppa. Oh, and food! I could murder some chips right now."

"There's still some food left from earlier," Jackie points out.

Rose smiles, bumping her shoulder against the Doctor. "No, I want chips. Let's go for chips."

"All right. You go buy chips, then, and we'll prepare in here," says Jackie and, as the Doctor and Rose leave for the console room, she puts Pete and Jack to work right away.

Although she's worried about the effects the healing must have had on Rose, Jackie agrees that tonight is not about running tests. It's about celebrating being alive and finding people one thought one had lost forever. So, she orders Jack and Pete to mix drinks, find beer or wine as well as snacks, a few board games and poker chips to the deck of cards already lying on the coffee table in the nook. A few minutes later, the time ship groans and shudders and Jackie and Pete look to Jack, eyes wide open, but he just chuckles at them and tells them it means they have landed. So, they keep making the galley ready for their evening in and then sit down at the table, waiting for the Doctor and Rose to come back.

* * *

Rose holds the Doctor's hand a little bit tighter, watching the empty and quiet streets around them. Rubbish bins are turned over; cars are dented or worse; windows are broken and their shards have rained down over the pavement. It's been raining but she can still see blood spatter here and there and she can't help but wonder how many fought back during the Cybermen's attacks and how many lives were lost today.

"A lot were saved, though," he tells her, softly, as though he could read her mind. She supposes, though, that it's pretty clear by looking at her just what is running through her head.

"Yeah, I know, but…"

"Everyone would've died, Rose. Everyone."

"Yeah, I do know that but it's so _still_. It's freaking me out."

He tugs her closer and wraps her arms around her, stopping for a moment. "Suppose everybody's inside, hugging their loved ones."

"Or mourning them."

He leans his chin on the top of her head. "That too."

"They were everywhere. All over the world. Spoke to Mickey a bit when you and me were separated at Torchwood and he told me millions died over in Pete's World… Huh, maybe we should call it Mickey's World now, I suppose?"

He pulls back a little, smiling down at her. "Mm, suppose we should."

"Can't help but wonder if Shareen made it. Or my nan or Bev or even bloody Jimmy Stone. How many people I know died today? Must have been someone, at least, right?"

"Perhaps. Well…probably."

She sighs heavily. "And I died. The beast was right, you know. I _did_ die in battle."

He strokes her hair, twirling a strand between his fingers. "And then you lived."

"Yeah… Am I-am I like Jack, then? A fixed point in time? Do I make you…?" She crinkles her forehead, looking up at him. "You ran away from him."

He leans down, nudging his nose to hers. "Does it seem like it's hard, being around you?"

"Well…" She grinds her hips against him, running her hands down his back. "Sometimes it seems very hard."

"Wanton little minx," he mumbles and then he's kissing her, his hands are entangled in her hair and his erection is pressing hard against her stomach.

Backing her up against a brick wall, he slips his tongue in between her lips and she shivers when he runs it against the roof of her mouth. It doesn't take long before she's panting and moving against him, writhing in search for friction as their tongues keep duelling.

"Got a dress on. Easy access," she whispers into his ear before kissing the lobe and then sucking it into her mouth.

"We're out on the street, Rose," he says, but his hands are on her arse, pressing her closer.

She kisses the spot beneath his ear she knows will make him shudder, smiling against his skin as she succeeds. "No one's out anyway…" She takes his hand and guides it under her dress and to her center, moaning as he slips his fingers inside her knickers. "Feel how much I want you."

"Fuck," he groans and then hoists her up, putting her legs around his waist. Walking quickly down the street, he looks around them and then darts into the first alley they come across.

His lips crash down on hers as he pins her against the wall, trying to reach the fastenings of his trousers. She breaks for air and leans her head back as his mouth travels down her throat to her chest and she tugs down her dress to free her tits, crying out as he sucks on her nipple through her thin cotton bra. She's overcome with the need to be filled, but he doesn't seem to be able to take off his trousers so, feeling very impatient, she hops off him and kneels before him so she can help him release his straining erection. She tugs down his trousers and pants and, seeing him hard before her, she can't help but take him into her mouth. She sucks and licks, hungry for his taste, not caring in the least about her throbbing need, the asphalt digging into her knees or the hem of her dress soaking up rain from the ground.

"Rose," he moans and it tugs at something deep within. Something forgotten. Something…

She staggers back and falls on her bum as she remembers the time in the console room when he dropped his guard and she fainted, forgetting it had ever happened. _Oh_! Her heart aches for him, knowing how much he must have hurt and how rejected he must have felt.

He's barely had time to help her up before she throws herself at him, arms linked around his neck and legs wrapped around his hips.

He grabs her thighs, keeping her close. "You okay?" he asks, sounding almost amused.

"Yeah." She looks into his eyes, one hand cupping his cheek. "I love you. And I have, for a very long time. Long before you changed."

He looks happy but confused. "Why are you…?"

"Just needed you to know."

"Oh." Smiling, he turns them around, pushes her up against the wall and the shoves her knickers aside. "I know," he whispers, leaning his forehead against hers. "Rose, I know."

Their lips meet in messy kisses and she sinks down on him, moaning as he fills her up. His fingers bore into her flesh, keeping her upright and, as she trails kisses over his jaw and down his neck, she lets her digits find their way into his mouth. Once they're wet from his saliva, she snakes her hand down to her clit and rubs as he moves in and out of her. The brick wall is like fire against her back, tearing at her skin for every thrust, but his cock feels amazing inside her and she's too wrapped up in the feverish haze to care.

"Fuck. _Fuckfuckfuck_," she groans out. "Harder!"

He obeys, picking up the pace until it's frantic and rough and she leans her head forward to prevent it from being repeatedly banged into the wall behind her. The knot in her belly grows tighter and then suddenly it snaps, making pleasure surge through her whole body and she has to bite down hard on his suit jacket not to scream out her climax into the dark alley. He pumps harder, sucking at her neck as her clenching around him, pulls him with her over the edge. He holds her close as he sags to the ground, his knees giving way when the last waves of his orgasm crash through him.

"That was quick!" She beams, sprawled on top of him and feeling his come trickle out of her. "Think you better clean us up with the sonic, yeah?"

He harrumphs. "My, Rose, how romantic of you. No snuggling?"

"On the wet ground when mum waits for us to bring back chips to the TARDIS?"

"Good point!" He jumps up on his feet, pulling her up with him. "Already gotten a slap from her today," he says, tucking himself back into his pants and trousers.

"Oh, sorry." She kisses his cheek and then takes a couple of napkins he hands to her. "Was this, uhm, was this okay?" she asks, wiping his come off her thighs.

"A quickie in an alley? Well…" He tugs at his ear, looking flushed but definitely pleased. "Can't say I've ever done that before. Can't say I never will again." He flashes her a wide grin. "All right! What do we need sonicked?"

"Uhm… I think I got some chafing on my back from the wall."

"What? Did I hurt you? Why didn't you say something?!" he says, grabbing her shoulders and spinning her around. "Rose, are you…? Hm…" He runs her fingers over her back. "It's all healed up. Huh. Your hickeys are gone as well. Didn't think of it earlier in the shower. Was a bit busy admiring your…" She turns around and sees him gesturing at her body. "Huh. Ooh, you're in the first fifteen hours of your regeneration cycle!"

"My what?"

He swallows. "Well, I'm pretty sure you regenerated—"

"I'm a Time Lord?" Her jaw drops as she stares at him, but then he starts laughing at her and she frowns, giving him a light shove. "No need to laugh!"

"Oh, Rose," he says, shaking his head at her as he tries to stop giggling. "When you brought back Jack, you didn't know what you were doing. You just pulled him back from the dead. I think, this time, the TARDIS knew what _not_ to do and instead used the knowledge she has of regeneration and copied that process. She already knows you intimately ever since you looked into each other's hearts, so it wasn't very hard for her to make sure you remained you."

"But…what does that mean, though?"

"Can't be sure. I don't think you'll be able to regenerate again, unless the TARDIS intervenes, but that's really not something we should take advantage of, so don't be more reckless than usual, you hear?" he says, giving her a firm look. "She might have… Remember when we met Cassandra the first time? She said she was… Well, she said she didn't look a day over two thousand. The human body has the potential to grow so much older than it does in your time. Granted, Cassandra's life span was prolonged because she chose to become a trampoline but, by her time, evolution has done its part and humans often reach well over a thousand."

"Are you telling me I'll be that old?" she says, feeling something akin to vertigo at the thought of it.

"I'm just speculating, Rose. She might have optimised your cells or she might have just restored you to how you were just before you died. I won't know until I've run tests. But if—"

"You know what? It doesn't matter, does it?"

He furrows his brow. "Of course it matters! Why wouldn't it matter?"

"'Cause you wanna be with me either way, yeah? Even if I die tomorrow or in ten years or in a thousand, you still wanna be with me. Right?"

His expressions softens. "Yes."

"Then it doesn't matter. We'll find out eventually anyway, yeah?"

"Suppose…"

"Just one question, though…" She leans in closer, lips brushing his ear as she says: "You said 'fuck'."

"Eeeeer…"

"Thought the TARDIS didn't translate those kinds of words."

He chuckles. "Oh. Right. Yes, I might have let you believe that. Rose, the TARDIS is sentient, yes, but she's not… She can't distinguish words in that manner. She never translates Gallifreyan and I only speak it when… Well, if I'm upset or emotional, I suppose. When I don't think. So, it's mostly curses or…" His cheeks turn slightly pink. "Or other things."

"What? Are you speaking English to me right now?"

"Yes, of course."

"Really? So, what? You decided to change accents? Wasn't just some weird translation fluke or something?"

"Nope."

"Then why did you use a Northern before?"

He shrugs and then starts walking. "Reckon it suited that me, with the hair and the nose and the leather."

She grins at him, tongue poking out between her teeth. "It did. It was sexy. _You_ were sexy."

He stops dead in his tracks, staring at her. "Were?"

"Well, you're still sexy, of course. Haven't you noticed I think so?" she asks, blinking innocently at him.

He smiles, tongue pressing up against the roof of his mouth as he looks up into the dark sky. "There might have been a few occasions that clued me in on the fact…"

"C'mon then, my sexy alien, let's get those chips," she says, pulling him with her out of the alley.

* * *

It's been an hour and Jackie is just about to call Rose on her mobile when she and the Doctor finally returns to the galley. They put the chips on the already set table and sit down, smiling at Pete as he hands them the drinks he has mixed for them. Jackie watches them suspiciously and she can't help but wonder if they took a little shag break in chip shop loo. Rose's hair is tousled, the Doctor's grin is a tad too wide and both of them look slightly flushed. She narrows her eyes and opens her mouth to tell the Doctor off for not being careful with her daughter, but Jack beats her to it.

"Screwed in an alley, am I right?"

"What?" the Doctor squeaks, eyes wide open.

"The hemline of Rose's dress is dirty and so is the back of your coat." Jack points at them, waggling his eyebrows and grinning.

Rose's eyes grow wide and she looks at the Doctor, who quickly pulls out his sonic screwdriver and runs it over Rose's dress and then takes off his coat and cleans it as well. Jackie narrows her eyes at the Doctor, but he keeps his at the fabric.

"Stop it, mum." Rose sighs at her. "I told you that I feel fine, all right? The TARDIS healed me up, good and proper. No need to treat me like I'm made out of glass. Besides, was my idea."

"I knew it!" Jack says, looking triumphant. "So, your mom tells me you've been together all year. What was it that finally made you take the plunge?" The Doctor and Rose exchange glances, both of them turning a deep magenta. "Oh, this story I gotta hear!" Jack says and then stuffs a couple of chips into his mouth, looking at them expectantly.

"Oh, never mind that!" Jackie tells him. "They've been together since day one, I reckon. They've just been too stubborn and daft to see it."

"Enjoy this moment, Jackie Tyler, because you're never going to hear me say it again," says the Doctor, "but you are one hundred percent right."

Smiling at him, Rose leans her head on his shoulder for a moment. She looks completely smitten and Jackie instinctively reaches for Pete's hand under the table. She supposes it should feel strange, since he technically isn't _her_ Pete and has had a whole life with a woman who isn't quite her, but it doesn't. It feels right and he must think so as well, because he squeezes her hand and scoots his chair a little bit closer to her.

Rose sits up straight again and pours vinegar over her chips. "We were stuck on Earth for a little over a month after New Year's and… Well, suppose we just needed to be bored out of our skulls for everything to sort itself. Don't you reckon, Doctor?" she says, grinning at him.

"Mhm," hums the Doctor, and there's just something about the way those two look at each other that, for once, makes Jackie relieved that she's not heard the whole story.

"Glad to hear it…" Jack pauses, looking at the others for a moment. "Hate to be a party pooper, but I'm kinda wondering about my condition, here."

"You are a fixed point in time," the Doctor says. "I left you because you make me feel… You feel wrong, Captain."

Jack raises his eyebrows and grabs his beer glass, leaning back in his chair and taking a swig. "Wow… So, I guess there's nothing much to do about it?"

"No, I don't think there is. I'm so sorry, Jack."

"No more talk about that now!" interrupts Jackie, giving all of them stern looks. "Tonight we're having fun! Now, hand me that deck of cards 'cause I'm gonna whip all of your bums in poker."

The Doctor snorts. "Not bloody likely." He shrugs off his suit jacket and rolls up his shirtsleeves. "C'mon, then, Jaqueline," he says, over pronouncing her name as he makes a face. "Show me what you're made of, hm?"

"Remember that time in my kitchen when you tried lying to me? Oh, I've seen your poker face, Doctor, and you know what?" She leans over the table, crinkling her nose as she whispers rather loudly: "It's not very good."

"Eeeer…"

"Yeah, that's right. You can't hide anything from me, you daft alien. I know all of your tells."

"Eeehm…"

"If I win, you're taking me and Pete on a holiday."

"No," Rose says and, before Jackie's had a chance to protest, adds: "He's doing that either way. You two need time to get to know each other again, I reckon." She shuffles the deck and then deals the cards. "What are you gonna do now, anyway? Can't very well show up at the Estate with your dead husband."

"We were talking about that earlier, actually. I…" Jack trails off, looking slightly nervous. "You didn't wonder why I showed up all of a sudden? I…uhm…I work for Torchwood."

"You _what_?"

"It's not like that! I got stranded in the eighteen hundreds. Been working for them ever since. I'm the head of the Cardiff branch and it's not like Torchwood One. Hartman's… Well, I don't run my branch like she does. Torchwood Four went missing a while back and we need someone who can rebuild it from scratch. Pete's told me all about what they did in the parallel universe and, as far as I can tell, he'd be perfect for the job. It's in Liverpool so Jackie would still be able to visit her family."

Jackie plays with her poker chips, running one over her knuckles. "We need to talk it over some more, of course, but the pay's good, Jack says. And doesn't matter where we live, really, Rose can visit us anywhere and people always need their hair cut no matter the city. Think it could be a good thing, don't you reckon? A fresh start and all that. I can tell my mum and Bev, but no one else has to know about Pete." Jackie snorts. "No one else would believe me, anyway."

"Yeah, sounds great, mum," Rose says and Jackie feels Pete moving his hand to her thigh, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

They play for hours, chatting, laughing and drinking and, just as she knew she would, Jackie wins. The Doctor did put up a good fight and, she noticed, his poker face was a lot better when there were no emotions involved, but in the end it didn't help him. She knows a lot of it had to do with him being distracted by her daughter, but it doesn't matter to her. She spends the rest of the night relentlessly teasing him for losing and doesn't stop until Rose and he show her and Pete to one of the unoccupied bedrooms. It's late and they're knackered and pissed and she's nervous, but it's still Pete, so they decide to share a room and, even though they don't do anything but spooning, it feels right. _They_ feel right.

* * *

Three months pass by in a flash. The Doctor learns to handle his 'allergy' to Jack so he travels with them for awhile and, besides the Doctor and Rose's relationship, it's just like old times. Jack frequently, and unsuccessfully, tries to pry their first time out of them and he also asks daily if he can join them in bed or at least watch. A part of Rose is thrilled by the idea of having an audience, and if there was anyone who could handle it without their friendship being ruined, it would be Jack, but she knows the Doctor never would agree to it so she keeps her fantasy to herself. Jack returns to Cardiff and his team a month or so later, but they still visit with some regularity and bring him along for a trip here and there.

Pete and Jackie move to Liverpool and quickly settle in and, although Pete's busy starting up his Torchwood, they manage to instantly find their way back to one another. Two months in, Rose's mum realises she's pregnant and she and Pete decides to have a wedding. Rose's nan and Jackie's best friend Bev have been let in on the secret of Pete and, thanks to all the alien activities in London lately, they weren't too hard to convince once they met him. The three of them spend a month planning the wedding, since Jackie wants it to happen before she's graced with a baby bump, and now they're in one of Torchwood Four's facilities, which is decked out for the ceremony and reception. Tomorrow the Doctor and Rose will whisk the newlyweds away for a trip to Barcelona—the planet, not the city—but right now, they're playing the parts of maid of honour and best man.

Rose twirls in front of the mirror in the dressing room she shares with the Doctor, watching the purple satin of her knee length gown swish around her legs. She adjusts the bobby pins in her bun, checks her lipstick for the third time in ten minutes and adjusts her strapless bra as well as her sheer hold-ups.

"You look beautiful. Perfect," the Doctor says, sitting on the window sill behind her, taking in her form.

"You're not too bad yourself." She glances down at his plimsolls. "Although… Kinda surprised mum let you wear those shoes."

"There's no way I'm going through something as boring as this in a pair of dress shoes."

She walks up to him and tugs at his bowtie before stroking his chest. "Is it really that bad?"

"Oh, the things I do for you, Rose Tyler. C'mon, we better get out there. The ceremony's about to start."

"Can't believe how perfect everything worked out," she says, shaking her head. "If only Mickey were here…"

He kisses the top of her head. "I know. Let's move before your mother comes in here and slaps me for distracting you."

"Yeah, can't ruin her big day, can we? Not every day you marry the alternate version of your dead husband." She chuckles a little as she shake her head. "Ready?" she asks, holding out her hand.

"Yep!"

The ceremony is beautiful and Rose can't help but laugh when this Pete gets her mum's names right and then she sheds a few tears as her mum and Pete finally kiss, feeling endlessly grateful to her Doctor since none of this would've happened had she never met him. The man in question looks bored out of his skull, but his mood brightens considerably once they go to the reception and he manages to flirt his way into a whole tray of nibbles for himself. They're seated with Pete, Jackie, Rose's nan and Bev and, luckily, everyone is acquainted with one another by now. Her nan has even gotten over the initial shock of learning that Rose is sharing her life with an alien.

They've spent hours dancing and now Rose and the Doctor are taking a break on a bench standing along one of the walls. She's leaning her back against his chest, his arms are wrapped around her and they're watching the others on the dance floor.

"They looks so happy, don't they?" she says to the Doctor, smiling at her mum being twirled around by Pete. Jackie laughs as he dips her and then he pulls her up for a kiss so messy and searing Rose averts her eyes and blushes.

The Doctor makes an amused sound through his nose. "Reckon they do."

"I've been thinking…"

The Doctor tightens his grip around her, nuzzling her neck. "Hm?"

"Looks nice, doesn't it? Belonging like that. To each other."

"I… Well, yes, I suppose."

"I think I want the bond, Doctor."

She feels him swallow and then hears him clearing his voice. "You _think_ you want it?"

"No. I _know_ I do. I want the bond."

He pulls back so she turns around so she can look at him, finding him smiling. "Why, Rose Tyler, are you proposing to me?"

"Guess I am," she says, acting aloof.

"I'm offended! This isn't how you Earthlings usually propose, is it?" he says, looking affronted but his eyes are sparkling with humour. "Am I not worthy of a proper proposal?"

"All right," she says and slides down on the floor, positioning herself on one knee. She pulls off the silver thumb ring she's wearing and holds it up in front of the Doctor. "Sir Doctor of TARDIS, would you do me the honour of becoming my…" She crinkles her nose, looking at him to fill in the blanks.

"Bond mate," he says, looking as though he's about to burst out laughing any minute.

"Bond mate?"

He pulls a face and tilts his head to the side, thinking. "Weeeeelll, suppose I could give it a go. But you better have a good dowry."

"Oh, I have all sorts of alien treasures in my possession, actually."

"How could I ever say no to that, hm?" he says, holding out his hand.

She slips the ring on his finger before jumping up in his lap. "Well, then. That's that," she says and then gives him a kiss.

* * *

All the other guests are sleeping in their respective hotel rooms, but the Doctor and Rose stumble back to the TARDIS, kissing and groping as they move towards their bedroom. He fumbles for the handle behind her and they nearly collapse on the floor, giggling, when the door opens. She untucks and unbuttons his shirt and pulls the two front panels aside, running her hands over his torso, scratching lightly over his hair and circling his nipples. She then sits down on the bed, kissing and nipping at his taut stomach, loving the low sounds of pleasure he emits. He starts removing his bow-tie so he can shrug off his shirt, so she works on the fastenings of his trousers, gently tugging down the fabric to free his erection. She looks up at him, feeling thrills in her stomach as she meets his heated gaze, and licks her lips as his part in anticipation. She runs the flat of her tongue from the base to the head of his cock and then swirls her tongue around him before taking him into her mouth. Her moves are slow at first, as she keeps helping him remove his clothes, but she never releases him, not even when he steps out of his trousers and pants. Moving her hands around him, she cups his arse and pushes him closer to her. She relaxes her throat to take him in deep, running her fingernails over his soft skin, feeling him getting gooseflesh as he shivers.

Growing slick with need, she spreads her legs a little and starts rubbing herself against the mattress to get at least some relief. She focuses on the head of his cock, sucking hard, whilst pumping his length with her tight fist. His head is lolled back now, moaning, and she can tell he tries his very hardest not to buck his hips. She moves her other hand from his arse to the inside of his thighs, caressing him a few times before finding his perineum and firmly massaging it. His hand is in her hair, fingers entangled in the blond strands but not adding any pressure. His breaths are ragged and she knows he's close, so she picks up her pace and soon she feels his come coat her tongue as he breathes out her name. She hums as she swallows, refusing to let him go until he's completely soft in her mouth.

"You're so beautiful when you come," she whispers, stroking his abdomen with one hand and finding her folds with the other.

She's wet and swollen, in need of friction, and he's kneeling before her in a matter of seconds, kissing his way up her hold-ups covered leg until he reaches her center. He quickly removes her knickers and takes one long lick, but then he leaves her sex and she whimpers, giving him a wounded look. He grins at her and then starts sucking on the sensitive skin of her inner thigh whilst spreading her juices with his fingers. Two digits pump slowly for a moment and then slip out and travels up to her clit, rubbing up and down and making her sigh as she feels pleasure grow inside her. He leaves several marks on her skin before he finally tongues her and she grabs his hair, tugging him closer, knowing how much he loves it. Sucking on her clit now, he brings back his fingers into play, curling them up to tease her inner spot. It's so, so good and she falls back in the bed, fingers still buried in his hair, holding him close to her center.

"Harder," she pants, pushing her hips up and grinding against him.

She feels him pull out his fingers and when he re-enters them, she knows he's added a third. He's rough and moans against her and that's all it takes. The heat coiling within her, spreads like wildfire throughout her body and she screams out her orgasm, clenching down on his digits. She catches her breath for a few seconds and then raises her head, looking at him as he licks his fingers clean before joining her in bed, making her feel hungry for more.

"Bind me," she says, placing her legs in his lap so he can roll off her hold-ups.

It's been three months since she first brought it up and she thinks it's time to actually try it. They've had telepathic sex by now and, even though it's beyond brilliant and really heightens everything they're feeling, it's also very draining and not something she can do all too often. She knows a bond will help and she looks forward to doing it a lot in the future but, right now, all she wants is for him to tie her up and have his way with her.

"Please."

He hesitates, holding the elastic garments in his hands as he looks at her. "I've never…"

She rolls over on her stomach and lays her hands out, close to the railings of their headboard. "Rough, not painful, all right?" she says over her shoulder. "I'm not into…_that_. Just a little powerplay, yeah? And if I don't feel comfortable, I'll say 'wedding', 'kay?"

He makes an amused sound through his nose. "Yeah, all right."

He keeps the knots loose and she nods after he asks her if it feels all right. Still looking a bit uncertain, he leans over her and gives her a loving kiss on the mouth and then he turns down the light and slips back into the role he used for so many months when they fucked in the dark. He pushes her purple dress over her bum, stroking her curves with his palms before venturing in between her legs, spreading them apart. She's still soaking wet from her orgasm and his fingers slide over her bud, teasing it and making pleasure coil once more inside of her. When she starts moaning he instantly stops and finds his bowtie, taking his time to fold it and stuff it into her mouth.

"Not. One. Sound," he says quietly into her ear and his tone sends shivers down her spine.

He returns his attention to her clit, drawing slow circles before rubbing hard, and soon she's so close her thighs are trembling. He stops then and she pushes her bum up into the air, wiggling it and whimpering, wanting him to keep touching her; however, she hears him slide off the bed instead and soon he's standing at her side, removing her gag. She feels the mattress weigh down a little next to her and then something presses against her lips, so she lifts her head and opens up, welcoming the tip of his cock into her mouth. The angle is awkward and it's straining on her neck, so she mostly sucks on the head and laps at whatever she can reach. He's careful not to push and she can't help but wonder if it's any good for him but, going on the breathy sounds he's making, she assumes it must be. She wants to make hungry noises to show him how much she's enjoying herself, but he's told her to be quiet and she does her best to obey.

A short moment later, he pulls out and puts the bowtie back in before getting back into bed, straddling her thighs and kneading the soft flesh of her bum. She arches her back, desperate for him to resume his ministrations on her clit but he touches her everywhere but there. His hands run up and down her legs a few times before he pushes one finger into her, moving in and out as he kisses every little bit of skin he can reach. She's almost screaming from the frustration and when he finally hits her swollen nub again, she has to bite down on her gag not to shout out from relief. She's close again within seconds, body twitching as it prepares itself for the onslaught of sensations, but he removes his fingers again and she nearly growls at him.

He grabs her hips, helping her push her arse up in the air so he can enter her more easily. Her eyes roll back in her head as she feels his cock slowly push into her and she grabs ahold of the railings, preparing herself to get fucked by him. He keeps his thrusts shallow, making the head of his cock repeatedly press hard into her spot in a way she knows, by now, will make her gush as long as she relaxes into the sensation. Soon his fingers find her clit again and this time, when she feels the heat grow until she's so close she can taste it, he finally lets her come. He keeps thrusting as she convulses, bringing her to the edge repeatedly, barely letting her catch her breath before the next orgasm hits. He plunges into her fully as she starts to clench for the third time and moans as her inner muscles squeeze his cock. Her shouts are muffled by the gag as she feels herself gush all over the bed; her body turns boneless, her center feels all tingly and warm and a giggle forms in her throat, bubbling out of her as he continues his deep thrusting. He leans down over her, their bodies touching from chest to feet, and kisses her shoulders and neck as he fucks her. It feels amazing to feel him all over herself like this and she's almost sad when he pumps his seed into her as he comes.

He scrambles off her instantly, unties the stockings and then pulls her into his arms, giving her tiny kisses across her mouth and lovingly rubbing her wrists. "Are you all right? Did I hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine. It was perfect," she says, smiling and running her fingers through his hair.

"I stuck that bowtie into your mouth. Didn't realise you wouldn't be able to say 'wedding', until… Rose, I'm so sorry."

She giggles. "Oh. Well, if we have the bond next time, suppose I can say it in our heads, yeah?"

"Yeah," he says, smiling and stroking her hair. "And everything was…? I mean, _all_ the things I did…?"

"Doctor," she says, wishing it was light enough in the room for her to look him in the eye. "Everything was perfect. I loved it. Was it good for you?"

"Yes."

"Good. I do think you should do something about this wet spot, though. Don't much fancy lying in it."

"Right!"

He leans over the edge of the bed, scoops his sonic up from inside his trouser pocket and then straightens up, drying and cleaning their sheets. They lie down together, spooning with his left arm slung over her waist. She takes his hand, hugging it close to her chest and, as she weaves their fingers together, realising he's still wearing the ring she gave him for fun.

"Oh, you're still wearing this?"

"Well, you did propose to me. What kind of man would I be if I didn't wear the ring you gave me?" he asks, sounding amused.

"Dunno. You don't have to, though."

"I know," he says, holding her closer. "Night, Rose."

"Night."

She lies silent for a long while, trying to fall asleep but not succeeding. She can tell by his breathing that he's awake as well, so she says: "Doctor?"

"Hm?"

"So, when are we gonna do the bond thing, then?"

"Hm… Tomorrow?" he mumbles into her hair.

"Yeah, tomorrow." She scoots back a little, snuggling closer to him, and he cups her breast and starts brushing his fingertips over her nipple. Every touch sends thrills straight to her core so, when she feels his erection pressing into her, she grinds her bum against him. "Doctor? You're hard…"

"Weeell… I have you in my arms."

She rolls them over with a giggle, climbs on top of him and grabs his cock, rubbing it against her folds until she is throbbing and soaking wet. She lines him up against her entrance, slowly sinks down and then she starts to move.

* * *

_the end_

* * *

**A/N 1:** Big thanks to all of you who have read and reviewed! You really make this so much fun!  
**A/N 2**: I do not have a sequel planned. When I started writing this fic, what I wanted was to explore their emotions, the somewhat unhealthy aspects of their relationship and the Doctor's intimacy issues, and I think that's what I've done. My head canon for this story is that they now will live happily ever after, saving the universe and shagging like there's no tomorrow. ^^ They are working on their issues, have learned to communicate and there's, to me, nothing left to explore. I'm moving on to my next project! Hope you'll join me. :)


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